Finally going to start transitioning. But, uh... How?

[Ziko]

Anyone have a good "Dummies guide to transition"? I'm FtM.

Here's the deal.
Went into the Navy, had a good time, 3 years later had 3 failed suicide attempts in 2 weeks. Admin sepped (honorable discharge), being transsexual is a major part of the pysch eval. Not claiming disability, but huge problems with depression.

I'm still in the process of being separated, but my goal right now is, as soon as I get out, to pursue transition. I know about transition, like what I should expect. But I don't know how to actually get started.

- I'm in the USA. I will be in Kingston, NY once fully separated (which will be in a month or two)
- I'm 24.
- I've been passing since 20. Living as male outside of work/during liberty. (Is that "part time"? ) since 21ish. I'd be living at work too, and have passed at work, but it's kind of hard when, you know. Military and sexism.

- I took testosterone illegally for a bit. It gave me terrible hypoglycemia that interfered with my job. I stopped because of this. But if it will get me HRT faster, I'll do it again.

- I've done some research on medical tourism. I know where to go in Thailand to get all surgeries done. I have been trying to weigh my options-- should I just get it all done in Thailand for cheaper, faster, and without all the BS that is the US's way of treating transpeople? Or not? I decided to at least start in the US, with HRT. But if it's not ot my liking, I'm off to Thailand. Comments/suggestions?

- Ultimately I'm looking to get back on T as quickly as possible, also getting my chest surgery asap. My voice is very feminine still, I want to fix this. Everything else is mostly backseat, since I pass so well already.

There's an informed consent clinic in NYC that I was thinking of going to-- I'd have to look it up again... But basically, where should I go? What should I do?
I know procedures and stuff have changed pretty rapidly since DSM-V came out. I'm a little behind the times... Also, I should still have VA benefits, since the discharge is honorable. So how do/can I approach that? I know it's iffy when it comes to GID-things because of how Tricare is worded.

Any help would be great.

[MC-lite]

Hi Ziko,
I suggest that you do -not- take any horomones without doctor supervision. As you've already experienced, you can create all kinds of problems for yourself.

I'm from New York City, and IMHO the best clinic for all things Trans is Callen Lorde.

http://www.callen-lorde.org/

Call them up, make an appointment with them and tell them what's going on. They will guide you through the steps of transitioning.

Best of luck with everything.
:Miki.

[CharleneT]

Hi and welcome !

I think the first thing to do is get under the care of a therapist and a doc. Please do not self medicate with testosterone again, something went wrong before and it likely could again. You need the help of a medical doctor to get that working without hurting you. I'm not familiar with the details of FTM transitioning, but I'll bet that you are going to have to have a little patience about getting surgery quickly. Legit surgeons in Thailand require the same processes as here: the SOC.

How long were you on testosterone before ?

[Melissa Pink]

Thank you for your military service. I know it must have been difficult for you under the circumstances, but you have your DD-214 and honorable discharge. That's a good thing!

As Michaela Joy and Charlene stated, please don't take testoserone or tany hormone replacement therapy unless it's prescribed to you. That can have bad consequences. I'm retired from the Navy and can go to the VA for medical care and therapy including HRT. The attitude at each VA Medical Center seems to be different. I would check out the VA in your community. You may be entitled to a disability rating as well as medications including HRT. You never know unless you check it out. Good luck and feel free to PM me with any questions.

Melissa

[melissaK]

Sounds like you are doing your homework. There's so much info out there on line and at places like this. Its cool that you come here and ask questions.

And for what its worth, experienced gender counsellors make a big difference. (Ugh, I had a nice counsellor once tell me I was just a sensitive guy - and that added another year of denial to my life, and another bout with depression). So find 'em. Insist on someone who has experience. They'll help you find your path way better.

And while you're out and about, keep your eyes open for mad scientist with a device something like in "Young Frankenstein" (old Mel Brooks comedy movie), cause we could start doing mind swaps between MTF's and FTM's bodies and make a fortune . . . ;-)

hugs,
'lissa

[Badtranny]

This dude needs to hear from some of the guys in the other forum.

Good luck Ziko.

[Jorja]

I would imagine the steps for an F2M are similar to those for M2F. Locate a thearpist with experience with gender related issues. Be honest with doctors and those trying to help you. As already mentioned Callen Lorde is the place to be in the NY area. Yes, it would be a benifit to the OP if some of the guys could jump in here.

[morgan51]

Ziko; I have a lot of empathy the advice given here is good advice A gender councilor and Dr. supervised meds is the way to go.I self medicated for a little while too and know today that was risky. I hope you can talk with some of the guys here and get thier perspective. Best luck to you and your journey.

[Melody Moore]

It is very risky to self medicate on any hormones, let alone testosterone. But I heard the director
of my clinic one day tell another person he would rather prescribe Oestrogen to someone he seen
for the first time as opposed to Testosterone. The affects of testosterone are irreversible & very
dangerous because of the agitation, anxiety and aggression that testosterone causes and this needs
to be carefully monitored because it is the most powerful steroid known to man apparently. So don't
treat testosterone and transition so lightly and think you can do this on your own.

Patience is a must with everything in transition especially for your voice and beard growth etc., so give it time.

[Ziko]

Everyone, thank you for your help. I'm moving in with my grandparents for now and they say that Sean M Endress in a New Paltz office is the closest (at 30 minutes away). I got his name from a T-VOX list of therapists in new york. I emailed him as well as Brand New Day counseling (heard good things about them from another support site I'm on) and I'm unsure of how far away Callen Lorde is but I will attempt to email them, as well. I'm also going to email TAVA (http://tavausa.org/) here shortly and ask for their recommendations, thought hat website looks pretty outdated. =(

I've already been living part-time as a guy while I was in the military-- I always passed while on liberty, for example. And I passed to new people who hadn't been told I was female. My voice gives me away sometimes (especially when I'm lazy and not trying to hide it) but if I'm on my game, I pass 100% of the time. My goal was that by the time I hit NY (which should be in about a week now) I will actually be living full-time. I wanted T so I could have a naturally masculine voice, rather than have to concentrate on faking it all the time. Also boobs suck. xP (I do have binders, though).

The reason I mentioned taking T illegally and willing to try again, is because another support group (online) I am in, has mentioned that if you are currently illegally taking hormones, a lot of docs will prescribe you hormones right away so you are at least safe about it. I'd be willing to take T illegally again specifically to get on "legit" hormones faster. That's the only reason.

As for my discharge, it is self-started admin sep. So I do not get medical benefits. I am unable to take TAPS class until I'm already separated (I was shafted). I have to pay back my enlistment bonus (which is fine). I don't get severance pay. I'm probably not allowed unemployment either but I'm going to try and get it anyway. If I want to put in a disability claim, how do I go about this? I am in TPU right now, and I got here on the weekend. So I won't get any more information until monday(tomorrow) but honestly with what little info I was given from my previous command, I doubt I'll get much help here in TPU either.

Thank you everyone for your help. Sorry I am replying so slow.

EDIT:
Callen-Lorde is 2.5 hours away and does not have an email address. I will have to call them once I actually get in Kingston, as I do not have a US phone (I was in Japan before this). =(