Frédérique
07-28-2012, 04:11 PM
"How did I get this disease? What are my treatment options? How will this affect my loved ones?" (from a TV commercial)
Don’t get excited – crossdressing is NOT a disease, although the prefix DIS- implies separation, negation, or reversal, something I think all MtF crossdressers feel at some point. Disclaimer: some readers may be disturbed by the excessive wordy dispatches in the following dissertation, so please exercise discretion...
When people characterize my beloved crossdressing as a disease, I am filled with dismay. When a male disrobes, and then dresses as a female, it is neither distasteful, nor should it cause any distress – he is merely using self-discipline to do something about the discomfort he feels physically, and the disquiet he feels in his mind. Masculinity can be disconcerting – take it from me. Please. If only I could discard or discharge this male-ness that disgusts me. I was most profoundly displeased, and, if you must know, my dissatisfaction was infinitely distracting. I disapproved of “me,” discounting my very existence. Disillusionment reigned...
Luckily, I discovered crossdressing one day, and my troubles dissolved overnight. I distilled my effeminate nature through a change of clothing and everything that it inspired me to dismantle. I could not dispense with my inherent masculinity, nor could I dispose of it, but I could dispel my disaffection by disallowing HIM to appear. My disguise had to be discrete, of course. I distrusted nearly everyone, knowing full well that any disclosure on my part would lead to disunity and disorder of a highly personal nature. I distributed my new persona carefully, in a carefully orchestrated disappearing act. I kept my distance, but I did manage to display myself...
Even though I was diseased in the eyes of society, I felt happy, yet lonely and dislodged at the same time. I wanted to meet other disciples of wrong-ness, and end my disbelief. I knew they had to be out there, and I found them. Some considered their crossdressing to be a disability, while others could not distinguish between right and wrong. Many disowned their own feelings, disseminating their fears through dissolution in an increasingly dissociable world. In my mind, turning my back on these precious things would be dishonest, not to mention dishonorable. I entered into discussions with my peers and other pilgrims, finding discrimination, displeasure, disgruntlement, and disruption amongst the lengthy discourses. I could “hear” cries of distress loud and clear, even though I dismissed my own distinctive fears out of hand. I came to realize that the idea of “treatment” for joy is patently disadvantageous, and any fear that I had soon dissipated...
Why cause dissention? Why disturb the peace? Why try to dissuade the unenlightened? Crossdressing does not displease me in any way, but my loved ones experience the opposite effect of dislocation. Yours (and mine) is no disgrace. True loved ones should be supportive and not dismissive. Crossdressing is not disreputable; it does not require disinfection, even though I may be at every disadvantage to myself and others. The truth is, I chose this indiscipline, this disagreement with expectation, and this disarming of masculine mores. I live in a discolored world, and the discomfiture is an embarrassment. I do not wish to distemper my immediate district, so I stay out of sight, knowing that my little slice of the world does not disappoint me. Out there it’s dismal, but in here I disobey everything I had been taught as a boy. Not to crossdress equates with disenchantment. Since I LOVE enchantment, I shall carry on...
Well, I could go to the disco, but, since I live in a small town in Kansas, we don’t have one. I think I’ll turn on the dishwasher instead...:heehee:
Thanks for reading, and thanks (in advance) for not dissing me. Crossdressing is NOT a DISease, in fact it puts me completely at ease...
Disproportionately yours, Freddy
PS – This post is dedicated to all those who love to read and write. Welcome to 2012 (not 1887)... :doh:
Don’t get excited – crossdressing is NOT a disease, although the prefix DIS- implies separation, negation, or reversal, something I think all MtF crossdressers feel at some point. Disclaimer: some readers may be disturbed by the excessive wordy dispatches in the following dissertation, so please exercise discretion...
When people characterize my beloved crossdressing as a disease, I am filled with dismay. When a male disrobes, and then dresses as a female, it is neither distasteful, nor should it cause any distress – he is merely using self-discipline to do something about the discomfort he feels physically, and the disquiet he feels in his mind. Masculinity can be disconcerting – take it from me. Please. If only I could discard or discharge this male-ness that disgusts me. I was most profoundly displeased, and, if you must know, my dissatisfaction was infinitely distracting. I disapproved of “me,” discounting my very existence. Disillusionment reigned...
Luckily, I discovered crossdressing one day, and my troubles dissolved overnight. I distilled my effeminate nature through a change of clothing and everything that it inspired me to dismantle. I could not dispense with my inherent masculinity, nor could I dispose of it, but I could dispel my disaffection by disallowing HIM to appear. My disguise had to be discrete, of course. I distrusted nearly everyone, knowing full well that any disclosure on my part would lead to disunity and disorder of a highly personal nature. I distributed my new persona carefully, in a carefully orchestrated disappearing act. I kept my distance, but I did manage to display myself...
Even though I was diseased in the eyes of society, I felt happy, yet lonely and dislodged at the same time. I wanted to meet other disciples of wrong-ness, and end my disbelief. I knew they had to be out there, and I found them. Some considered their crossdressing to be a disability, while others could not distinguish between right and wrong. Many disowned their own feelings, disseminating their fears through dissolution in an increasingly dissociable world. In my mind, turning my back on these precious things would be dishonest, not to mention dishonorable. I entered into discussions with my peers and other pilgrims, finding discrimination, displeasure, disgruntlement, and disruption amongst the lengthy discourses. I could “hear” cries of distress loud and clear, even though I dismissed my own distinctive fears out of hand. I came to realize that the idea of “treatment” for joy is patently disadvantageous, and any fear that I had soon dissipated...
Why cause dissention? Why disturb the peace? Why try to dissuade the unenlightened? Crossdressing does not displease me in any way, but my loved ones experience the opposite effect of dislocation. Yours (and mine) is no disgrace. True loved ones should be supportive and not dismissive. Crossdressing is not disreputable; it does not require disinfection, even though I may be at every disadvantage to myself and others. The truth is, I chose this indiscipline, this disagreement with expectation, and this disarming of masculine mores. I live in a discolored world, and the discomfiture is an embarrassment. I do not wish to distemper my immediate district, so I stay out of sight, knowing that my little slice of the world does not disappoint me. Out there it’s dismal, but in here I disobey everything I had been taught as a boy. Not to crossdress equates with disenchantment. Since I LOVE enchantment, I shall carry on...
Well, I could go to the disco, but, since I live in a small town in Kansas, we don’t have one. I think I’ll turn on the dishwasher instead...:heehee:
Thanks for reading, and thanks (in advance) for not dissing me. Crossdressing is NOT a DISease, in fact it puts me completely at ease...
Disproportionately yours, Freddy
PS – This post is dedicated to all those who love to read and write. Welcome to 2012 (not 1887)... :doh: