how do you know that you are a crossdresser

[lucaluca]

hey,

how do you know that you are a crossdresser and not a transsexual?

i read a lot of people who said that they are crossdresser and then after a couple of years they realized that it was more and they transitioned.

[suzy1]

Yep, I was acrossdresser and now I realise I am transsexual. Just the way it goes I guess?:strugglin

[Laura912]

It just doesn't matter so pick up an oar and help row the boat! :D

[Tracii G]

No cross dressing will not cause you become a transsexual if that is what you are worried about.
Do you feel that you are more female than male? Is everything you do female? Is there a strong desire to change your sex?
If so maybe you are and you need to seek therapy and figure out just what you are and what you want.
If you just dress off and on for the fun of it then you are a CD.

[Voulez-Vous]

No cross dressing will not cause you become a transsexual if that is what you are worried about.

Can I take lessons on how to become a transsexual?

[Karren H]

Sexual preference and what clothing you like to wear are two separate and independent things..... usually.... the clothes you wear shouldn't effect the way you feel and who you like .....

[femaletrouble]

I remember as a boy of 6 years old i so wanted to wear this red slip of my mum so one night i asked her if i could wear it to bed an the answer was dont be silly boys dont wear them, then i would wear it unknowins to her. then there was an advert for some nail strengthenin polish so i asked her if she'd buy me some on the way to little school (what must she have thought of me) an feelin disapointed when she had'nt got it for me. so fastforward 35 years an im stil dressin in womens clothes, granted on the odd occasion i wish i could be a real woman just for one day then experience what it truely is to be all woman

[Lainie]

Lady in a CD-oriented boutique once told me "Cross dressing is progressive". Scared me away for a while. She was right, though. Each new goal--If only I could
... get pink panties;
... get a skirt;
... go out;
...
Becomes a new threshold, leading on to more new things. Still, for a crossdresser, spending a limited time--an evening, a weekend, a week--as a woman will always be enough. Maybe more than enough.

[whowhatwhen]

hey,

how do you know that you are a crossdresser and not a transsexual?

i read a lot of people who said that they are crossdresser and then after a couple of years they realized that it was more and they transitioned.

If it becomes a big concern and a source of stress then you may benefit from seeing a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues.
Such a thing is very personal and unfortunately cannot be figured out over the internet, other people's experiences can differ wildly so don't over-stress if yours are different.

I've been seeing a therapist for several months now for my gender issues, while I still have more distance to go down the road of discovery I can say that the benefit of talking to someone is immense.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm both and neither. Just a guy who does impressions I think.;):)

[Stephanie47]

I'd say cross dressing is progressive as you become more accepting of yourself. I believe purging caused by oneself (and not a wife, girlfriend or parent) is due to non acceptance, self loathing, etc. Once one becomes accepting of self, then there is an increase in desire to appear and act more feminine. This entails purchasing more clothing, makeup and wigs. That does not translate to wanting to become a woman and toss aside as vestiges of a man. And, I will agree some men choosing to wear female clothing may be entering the first stages of acknowledging a need to transition to a woman.

[Stacey Renee]

I am an "in between" if that makes since... I cross dressed off and on from 12-18, from 18-27 I cross-dressed probably 5 days a week. At 27 I got married, stopped cold turkey in hopes this would cure me from it, and buying my wife clothes that I would have liked for myself. The older I got the more depressed I got because my wife stopped dressing how I liked, I became distant. This is when I came out to her that I am a cross-dresser. She had many questions, the norms that many would think of, but the one that kept coming up is "do you wish you were a woman". I told her I wish I was born a girl, but I am perfectly happy with myself, and an alter ego. She was accepting of that. Having said that, I do not wish to have SRS, I was born this way for a reason, and now that I am out to my wife, and she supports me, our lives have gotten better and we have grown closer than at anytime during our 13 years marriage.

[Eryn]

It's not an either/or situation. There are many niches you can occupy between occasional underdresser and completely-transitioned-and-left-the-building-TS.

Part of the fun of self-discovery is exploring those niches. I've discovered that this is more than a minor dalliance for me, but it remains to be seen where it will lead. for the moment I'm happy to just be able to occasionally experience the world in clothes I like and continue to learn about parts of female culture.

Don't worry about the labels. Just do what you want and you'll find your place.

[Diana Bain]

I'm both and neither. Just a guy who does impressions I think.;):)

Your avatar Kate is one of the best impressions I've ever seen:D

[Wildaboutheels]

Some folks, many here actually, will proclaim it is progressive for EVERY CDer. And that everyone will always want and always "spend' more.

HOGWASH.

I haven't "progressed" in 50 years. Of course I can only speak for myself.

Yes, females DO have a certain "power" over males. The price they pay is having to spend a lot more time, energy and money to be "attractive" to have that power. Being female comes with a price.

Clearly some CDers don't have a choice in the matter. They were BORN with the wrong body parts. I think most CDers do have a choice as to how far they want to/are willing to go.

[KlaireLarnia]

hey,

how do you know that you are a crossdresser and not a transsexual?

i read a lot of people who said that they are crossdresser and then after a couple of years they realized that it was more and they transitioned.

For me it is very clear cut, I am a cross dresser. Simple as that.

I like who I am on the outside and inside. I understand myself and my personality. I use cross dressing as a way of expression and being comfortable with the two very distinct sides of my personalty who make me the person I am. After 20+ years of cross dressing I have never had any desires to change my body outside of getting my ears pierced and wanting slightly larger boobs to fill out some of my clothes better.. But when I look in the mirror and see a male body and person looking back, other than thinking he is getting fat I am happy with what I see :)

Frankly the idea of changing sex has as much appeal as sticking my head inside a full cement mixer and telling my wife to turn it on (extreme I know but I hope you get the idea)...

[LeaP]

hey,

how do you know that you are a crossdresser and not a transsexual?

i read a lot of people who said that they are crossdresser and then after a couple of years they realized that it was more and they transitioned.

Short answer: Many can't know for sure because crossdressing can be a manifestation of transsexuality before the individual is consciously aware - or perhaps prepared to deal with it.

The vast majority of crossdressers are not transsexual, however, despite the jokes. Transsexuality or other gender variance that would drive someone to transition is very rare rare - a tiny fraction of 1 percent of the population. Crossdressing is very common, estimates range as high as 15% or more of the male population.

[Contessa]

In degrees every crossdressing transexual is different. But look at what I have said so far crossdressing transexuals. I call us that because it could be that that we are. Cause once I transition I am only wearing the clothes I am supposed to. Sometimes words can confuse the subject, we can't ourselves do our own SRS. But with one change of clothing people think so. To turn into a woman you must exchange your penis for a vagina. Or you are not really a woman. Since we all start out as female this must be in our brains(mind). I can see how people can be gay and how we can be cross-gendered.

If we start out as female and then the body goes over to be male but the mind (brain) doesn't that is how people can be gay. Any variation of that can make trans people. In degrees of femaleness. Some of this maybe true as the mind(brain) can do things we don't understand. Lets be reasonable we are all in this together. Don't be angry that you are trans(cross) gendered, I'm not I have embraced it. I still love women I just maybe wired differently in some degree. My progression to want to be one is maybe ceremoniously. I can celebrate them more easily if I am one. Like Stacy London says I love being a girl. Do you like girls? I mean really like girls,Ladies and Women. Think about yourself you re the opposite of them. Unles there really is a Third Gender. Fem males


What say you all


Tess

[docrobbysherry]

It's tru! Of course, I do EVERYTHING the hard way!:brolleyes:

I suddenly wanted breasts at about age 50. Had many "becoming a female" fantasies, too.:battingeyelashes:

Then, some 10+ years later those fantasies completely vanished!:eek:

So, maybe that proves there r NO RULES?:straightface:

[NathalieX66]

Crossdresser = I like feminine presentation, I like dolling up. I still like my guy self.

Transsexual = I'm a girl. This body does not fit who I really am. I hate my guy self.

Two things I heard:
Q: Wha't's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual? A: Two years.

I was told that 40% of those in transition de-transition at some point , but for a multitude of reasons. Source: a lecture at the Keystone TG Conference in harrisburg, Pa....don't hold me to this number, i can't verify it for sure, but I listened to a couple of people that did de-transition.

[Lorileah]

I don't think it is progressive, you are what you are. You don't grow toward being a TS. This isn't like a Buddhist reincarnation where you go higher on the scale. You know inside what you are and as many here are proud to say they are just men is dresses. Since the spectrum is continuous you may not meet the exact criteria that some set here. Some of "us" settle into a niche where we are at least comfortable and then as things change we move.

I believe the the TS's here knew they were in the wrong container early. I did. But some just don't go all the way to the end. You are not a CD today and a TS tomorrow. Maybe the TS's are just more vocal on these boards.

How do you know? It is what you feel inside (and you may be on the scale closer to one end or the other)

[Barbara Ella]

Crossdresser = I like feminine presentation, I like dolling up. I still like my guy self.

Transsexual = I'm a girl. This body does not fit who I really am. I hate my guy self.

Two things I heard:
Q: Wha't's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual? A: Two years.

I was told that 40% of those in transition de-transition at some point , but for a multitude of reasons. Source: a lecture at the Keystone TG Conference in harrisburg, Pa....don't hold me to this number, i can't verify it for sure, but I listened to a couple of people that did de-transition.

These definitions express the content that is relevant. i support the comment that you are who you are. The problem is that when starting, you do not know who you are. I started 11 months ago now. I was a strict cross dresser. I progressed. Everyone progresses until they stop. They stop when they reach the point of being where they are, they know who they are at that point, and stop progressing. Many keep on going.

I am now transgendered, and know that there is a feminine presence within my psyche. Transsexual, most likely not. But i am still progressing, and the female presence is more and more a presence in what I do, and her thoughts are present more than my guy thoughts.

Did cross dressing cause me to progress to this point. Not in the least. It was within myself,and I just did what I was meant to do, and to find who I really was.

Barbara

[toby]

My naive take on it: I don't know. To say I'm not only reflects where I am at this moment and forecloses the future so I'd prefer to leave it as a possibility. (Kind of sounds like a very poor summary of some Judith Butler :( .)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lucaluca, What do you really want to be??

[Sara Jessica]

Hi Lucaluca, What do you really want to be??

Ummmm, no. You don't just decide that you want to be a transsexual.

There is a huge divide between "boo-hoo I cannot dress up in women's clothes as much as I might like" and being truly uncomfortable within your own skin.

I wouldn't wish being a TS upon my worst enemy. If you feel you are a crossdresser, don't fight it, it's a much easier place to be.

[Beverley Sims]

I was on female hormones when I was 20 and this certainly gave me the mindset of a girl, I later came off these and I changed subtly and I still consider myself CD.

[Jenniferathome]

I don't think that you read "a lot" about this transition. If you look at the posts closely, you can generally see a continuum of gender identity. Those who "don't know" or identify as more female are candidates. They are few. Transition is not a simple thing.

[NicoleScott]

It's an empty argument whether or not crossdressing is progressive, unless you fill in the blanks:
from what____________to what____________.
In my case, from occasionally wearing a thing or two in private, to fully transforming head to toe, makeup, wig, the works, and going out. Yes, it's progressive.
But from crossdressing to transitioning and living full-time as a woman? No, it's not progressive.

There seems to be a LOT of folks here who don't know what they are.

[Michaela42]

I believe it is a personal discovery for everyone, and as such, is different for each person. When I was a teenager I did not even know of the term 'crossdresser' and currently I find that the definition fits me to a degree. There are times that I catch a glimpse of my reflection and I am taken aback buy it since it is not the 'me' in my minds eye. So, I guess that I would have to say at times I identify as a transgender/transsexual. But again, everyone is different so what I feel and know is different from what another will experience. How do you know? Simply put, you just do I guess.

[sometimes_miss]

I'm the reverse; I thought I was a transsexual, but realized that I'm simply a crossdresser.