Am I really a true crossdresser?

[BridalBoy]

My girlfriend and I were pondering this question:

if my "crossdressing" only includes wearing lingerie (panties and a nighty) to bed everynight, does that qualify me as a cross dresser in the true form of the defanition?

Granted, when I dressed as a bride a few times, I realize that such an activity really takes the cake, so to speak...so I think I know my own answer...

[bridget thronton]

Does the label matter?

[Stephanie47]

My personal opinion is there is more to being a cross dresser than wearing an article of clothing, especially one article. I would consider wearing a nightie and panties to bed a fetish. Once the only articles of feminine clothing I wore was to bed- a nightie. Then, later, added garter belt and stockings. Still to bed and sexual play with my wife. Later, ad panties and slips. Then, a bra. Then, dresses. Then, shape wear. Then, a wig. The, makeup. Got the picture. If you stop where you are right now, I'd say it is a fetish. You're probably a candidate for progressive cross dressing.

[KlaireLarnia]

My personal opinion is there is more to being a cross dresser than wearing an article of clothing, especially one article. I would consider wearing a nightie and panties to bed a fetish. Once the only articles of feminine clothing I wore was to bed- a nightie. Then, later, added garter belt and stockings. Still to bed and sexual play with my wife. Later, ad panties and slips. Then, a bra. Then, dresses. Then, shape wear. Then, a wig. The, makeup. Got the picture. If you stop where you are right now, I'd say it is a fetish. You're probably a candidate for progressive cross dressing.

I agree with Stephanie. I would not call you a cross dresser. YET. You are at the point I was when I started but eventually I did progress and move on to other items of women's clothing. I think a lot of people start with underwear because it is both easy to hide under other clothes and is what a lot of men consider sexy and therefore interesting.

At the end of the day if you (and your partner) are happy with it, it does not matter what you see it as.

[RADER]

It sounds like someone is drawing a line in the sand; Wear this, not that and be labeled a cross dresser.
When you put on a article of clothing, any clothing, does that change you?
Women have been wearing men's type of clothes for ever; however, a man put on one piece of clothes,
and he is labeled for life.
So Dress as you like, wear anything you want, and hang a sign around your neck so you know what you
are doing. LOL
Rader

[TeresaL]

If you're happy and you know it, wear the panties.

You have no idea how much it means that your GF is in board. Or, er, I mean with you on this. :eek:

[Eryn]

The only definition is that in your own head. If you think that you are, you are. If you think that you aren't, you aren't!

Do what makes you happy! If it's panties, great! If later on you decide to add something else that's also great. Some of us get a bit carries away with that! :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi BB.,Which do you think you are??, That's all that matters!!

[NicoleScott]

Wearing a feminine article of clothing because you have a fetish for it and crossdressing are not mutually exclusive. And the count (on the number of pieces) doesn't matter. It's crossdressing, even if done for fetish reasons. There is no evidence that the OP has a fetish - maybe the panties and nighty are worn because they're more comfortable than flannel PJ's.

[Lainie]

To thine own self--and thy girlfriend--be true. You don't need to label yourself. But is it so bad to be a true crossdresser?

[docrobbysherry]

If you're still wearing ladies things and still visiting us here in a year, YES! U R! Ha ha ha!

[sissystephanie]

If you wear the clothing, any item, of the opposite sex you are a crossdresser! Wearing panties and a nighty to bed counts as much as anything else. So yes, BridalBoy, you are a crossdresser!!

[Jason+]

I think "true" may be relative and the answer will change depending on which forum you ask the question in.

I believe it has to do with your motivation and how you feel. If you put on whatever you have chosen whether it's your favorite nighty or the entire wedding outfit in order to look, act, and feel like or emulate a woman there's a pretty good chance you've got the essence of a "true" cross dresser.

If you put on your wedding dress and all the trimmings with it and still feel as your name implies that you are a boy in a pretty wedding dress then we could start a lengthy debate over the text book definitions of cross dresser and true.

If you asked the same question at a forum about skirts as mens fashion freedom (not sure if I can identify them by name here or not) with the wedding dress picture as your avatar I can say from what I've read of them the opinion would be flat out, hands down beyond any shadow of a doubt, cross dresser.

The opinions that matter most are yours and your girlfriend's.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes in my own humble opinion you are....
You and your GF should just lay back and enjoy whatever comes to mind.:)

[NathalieX66]

Experimentation is one thing.......habit is another.

Getting way beyond the realm of sexual satisfaction, and possibly to the point that sexual satisfaction is not necessary, and self image is , is even another..... you know, like, I like being a girl, etc.

Hope I make some sense here, I probably don't to some.

[Cynthia Anne]

Labels belong on cans! You are you! If both you and your wife are happy with what you do then enjoy it together!

[Barbara Ella]

You wear female attire, you are a cross dresser. If you want to discuss why you do it, we can add more sub levels if you want

Totally unnecessary. Regardless of why, or how many items you wear, you are a cross dresser.

You are a true cross dresser if you do not lie to yourself about why you are doing it. bluntly, true has no meaning and no relevance.

Put your panties on. If you enjoy it and dont lie about it to yourself welcome to the club.

Barbara

[Lynn Marie]

Yup, pretty much a classic example of a cross-dresser getting started in the sport.

[Eryn]

I was thinking about this issue and y'know, wearing panties really doesn't make you a crossdresser.

One recurring thread on the forum is the old "GGs crossdress when they wear pants" concept. Whenever this concept is mentioned it is immediately slapped down with the retort of "but these GGs are not trying to pass as men!" which is quite true.

So, if you are wearing items of women's clothing, such as panties, but you aren't trying to pass as female, then you aren't crossdressing!

Enjoy your fun!

[Nicole Erin]

Does the label matter?

In fact it does cause on people's state ID, they are gonna have a big pink heart on the back for anyone who is GLBT. In the case of cross dressers, there will be a photo of, umm, some guy's "member" straining against silky panties.

In the TS sector there is always arguing about who the true TS are and that is ridiculous enough, i hope the CD sector doesn't start that petty crap.

[Babeba]

I think the best label for you is 'human being.' I also think you more than anyone else knows the answer to that question. If you need to have or not have a label in order to give yourself permission to do what feels right, that is the answer you need!

Just remember, you don't need permission from us for you to be yourself!

[Cheryl T]

Strictly speaking Crossdressing is the wearing of clothing appropriate to the opposite gender. Therefore if you wear lingerie and panties you are a crossdresser.
It's the old Algebra equation.... If A=B and B=C then A=C.
But does it really matter what term you use if any?? Just enjoy yourself and be yourself.

[UNDERDRESSER]

If you're happy and you know it, wear the panties.

You have no idea how much it means that your GF is in board. Or, er, I mean with you on this. :eek::thumbsup:

Love this! Wish I dared wear it on a t-shirt!
Wearing a feminine article of clothing because you have a fetish for it and crossdressing are not mutually exclusive. And the count (on the number of pieces) doesn't matter. It's crossdressing, even if done for fetish reasons. There is no evidence that the OP has a fetish - maybe the panties and nighty are worn because they're more comfortable than flannel PJ's.This is the answer!

A crossdresser is a crossdresser full stop.

You can, and we do, subdivide ourselves, it's useful if for no other reason that we can figure out what we're not. I have no interest in transitioning, I have no inteest in sexual contact with a male. I'm not sure at this point if I'll get anything out of going out dressed. ( I think I will, but not sure that the thrill is worth the fear. ) I do get a kick out of wearing female clothes, particularly sleek form fiting stuff, thats my kick, or fetish. Along the way I've found that many items of male attire suck! ( yes boxers, I'm looking at you! )

Identifying all of us as Cd brings us together for support and knowledge. Knowing yourself is way more than half the battle.

[NicoleScott]

I was thinking about this issue and y'know, wearing panties really doesn't make you a crossdresser.

One recurring thread on the forum is the old "GGs crossdress when they wear pants" concept. Whenever this concept is mentioned it is immediately slapped down with the retort of "but these GGs are not trying to pass as men!" which is quite true.

So, if you are wearing items of women's clothing, such as panties, but you aren't trying to pass as female, then you aren't crossdressing!


So, a wife comes home to find her husband wearing a dress, wig, makeup, and high heels. "You're a crossdresser?" "No, because I'm not trying to pass, just enjoying myself in private. That's not crossdressing."
Do you think she'll buy that?

[audreyinalbany]

seems we're getting a bit esoteric about our definitions here... cross dresser/ TS/TV/TG, whatever. I say we all give it up and just enjoy being who we are.

[drushin703]

bridalboy: crossdressing is like lace poetry: in his elegy "In Memory of W.B. Yeats." W.H. Auden addresses the ghost of Yeats, "Mad Ireland hurt you into poetry"
Just as one can be hurt into poetry, can you , in thinking back on your life, remember what specifically hurt you into crossdressing? And if you cannot truly identify
and address any hurt, then rest in the comfort, your not a crossdresser. I wish panties and a nighty was all my Chase statement had to account for...lol, dana

[ReineD]

... more than the type of item worn.



if my "crossdressing" only includes wearing lingerie (panties and a nighty) to bed everynight, does that qualify me as a cross dresser in the true form of the defanition?

If you wear these things strictly for having sex (sexual expression and release) and you want them off when you're done, then it is an object fetish or a kink. It is not CDing, any more than having a thing for latex, or bondage, or having a foot fetish.

If you feel a sort of calmness or "rightness" or psychological relief when you wear these things, you most definitely are CDing. In my opinion. There are many subconscious barriers that keep CDers from fully dressing; one of them is a fear of rejection for example. If you are subconsciously experiencing barriers (and you would have to be very honest with yourself to figure it all out), then this would make you no less of a CDer than someone who has overcome their barriers and dresses fully. You say that you wear the nightie every night and this might be an indication that you are receiving a psychological benefit.

Men who do not CDress have no desire to wear women's clothing, unless it is for fetish or kink as described in the first paragraph.

If you experience both the sexual aspect and the psychological benefit, then you are CDing. Many of the CDers here say that it was sexual for them in the beginning, but it evolved.

Also, we have members who wear feminine clothing that no one notices, such as blue jeans, polo shirts, sneakers purchased in women's stores that look very similar to men's. These members do not appear to be CDing, they are presenting as men, but they are CDing, since they purposely buy clothing from women's stores in order to feel better about themselves, even if no one notices. :)

[BRANDYJ]

If a man puts on any article of clothes meant for women, and he only did it once for whatever reason, he engaged in a one time act of crossdressing. If a man continues to wear any article of clothing, repeatedly, for whatever reason, then he can be called a crossdresser. One act of wearing women's clothes does not mean the man is a CD. It's the repeated act over time, even years that then makes him a crossdresser. In my opinion, the OP's reason for wearing panties and a nightie to bed every night, even if for pure sexual fetish reasons, is still a "true"(OP's adjective) crossdresser, because it's true, he is wearing women's clothes every night. The reason has nothing to do with whether or not a man would be considered a cross dresser. Of course we all might consider a different meaning of exactly what a "true"crossdresser is. For me, if I add the word "true" to crossdresser, then I tend to think of the majority of us that not only wear the clothes... crossdress, in it's purest meaning of the word, are only true crossdressers if we also wear the makeup, the wig, the shoes and present as women. To me, a guy that wears female clothes, maybe has a beard or mustache, and never puts on the makeup, wig and presents as a completely female image, is not what "true" crossdresser is. Like I said, that's my definition of the term True + crossdresser. Opinions will vary for sure. Take away the word "true" and mileage will vary even more.

[sometimes_miss]

If you wear the clothing, any item, of the opposite sex you are a crossdresser! Wearing panties and a nighty to bed counts as much as anything else. So yes, BridalBoy, you are a crossdresser!!

^this; basically the term means wearing the clothes generally worn by the opposite sex exclusively. For example, wearing work boots wouldn't qualify, if they were of a type that could be identified as being worn by either sex. Or, say, a fedora. Now, a pink fedora with a feather sticking out of it, perhaps that would be another story!

[ReineD]

SometimesMiss, what about construction boots? :D

A member once asked where she could find construction boots in large enough women's sizes for work. I gave her links to a site where they had both men's and womens, they looked identical to me, but the men's were less expensive. I asked her why it was so important to buy the women's boots. She said it was because it made her feel better. (I gather she also wore women's coveralls).

She was crossdressing. It's the intent .. the feeling that you are wearing an item of women's clothing no matter what it looks like and it makes you feel better, BECAUSE it comes from a women's store. If a man is not a CDer and he needs a pair of construction boots, he won't go out of his way to wear women's. And, if the last pair of boots on the market is a pair of women's size 15, he'll buy them reluctantly perpaps, but he'll buy them just the same and it won't give him any psychological benefit to wear them like it does a CDer. :)

[NicoleScott]

If you wear these things strictly for having sex (sexual expression and release) and you want them off when you're done, then it is an object fetish or a kink. It is not CDing...

How long do I need to keep on my wig, makeup, clothes, shoes, pantyhose, jewelry, perfume, etc... in order to stay under the TG umbrella?

[Jane-C]

Hi Bridalboy

I agree totally with Reine's comments. If your avatar is you and you enjoy the sensation of being a bride then yes, you are a CD welcome to the club.

Jane

[Vickie_CDTV]

Clinically speaking, yes. From what you describe you practice some degree of transvestism as clinicians define it.

[Jennifer Cox]

My girlfriend and I were pondering this question:

if my "crossdressing" only includes wearing lingerie (panties and a nighty) to bed everynight, does that qualify me as a cross dresser in the true form of the defanition?

Granted, when I dressed as a bride a few times, I realize that such an activity really takes the cake, so to speak...so I think I know my own answer...

Yes you do - so why ask the question?

[Anne2345]

What do YOU think? You are asking us whether you are a CDer or not. You seem to infer that you believe you may be. Obviously, you think you are something, or you would not have taken the time to join this forum, and compose and submit a thread asking this question. Moreover, I note that you have been a member since 2009, so you have been here and stuck around for a while.

But even beyond what you may think you are, how does it make you feel? There ain't nothing wrong with crossdressing. It can be a beautiful, magical, magnificent endeavor. Much pleasure, joy, and meaning can be derived from dressing as a member of the opposite gender. Much courage can be found within one's self for taking those initial difficult steps in being true to whoever you may be on the inside.

So what do you think? Are you a crossdresser? Are you ok with yourself if your believe you are? If so, welcome to your life, enjoy, and just be yourself!

[JohannaSophia]

We all start somewhere, for me it has persisted with some changes over 60 years. I have a lifetime monogamous partner who is accepting but not enthusiastic or innovative, qualities that might have changed some where I am today.

I started as a pre-teen nude and tucking to look like my mom down there while wearing her open bottomed girdle while she was shopping and I was supposed to be reading.

After a long hiatus I eventually confided in my wife how much I had enjoyed that youthful summer. She was receptive bless her to the tucking and dressing but never really got into playing the male role for intercourse other than as a special treat for me.

She is a great shopper and we do enjoy picking out matching panties and other clothing for both of us and she is my Photographer.

Good luck Bridal Boy, it sounds like you too a blessed with a good girlfriend.