When did it start?

[femaletrouble]

what age were you when you began crossdressing? it seem that the average age is around between 7 to 12 years. i remember i was around 6 to 8 years old when i started wearing my mums knickers straight out of the laundry basket, an i dont even know to this day what tempted me at such a tender age but i do remember the thrill an then after revolt of what id done, so can you remember what age you were an what motivated you to try on your mums..sisters underwear.

[bridget thronton]

Around age 13 for me

[Stephanie47]

I can remember wearing some of my mother's childhood clothing at my grandparent's home because I was bored out of my mind. Grandpa had a neat basement workshop. There was a backyard to try to catch cats and play in the dirt. But, my brother and I had to just sit around bored. I found the clothing and played dress up out of boredom. I do not think that turned me onto being a cross dresser. I had no desire to act like a girl. Just plain bored. Later I discovered the nice feeling of nylon slip hanging in the bathroom. That probably turned me onto the feel of the fabric. I still had no desire to be a girl. Maybe, when I was entering puberty I developed a sexual motivation to cross dressing, i.e., sexual release. I still did not want to become a woman. I still do not want to be a woman. That has caused me to develop my belief that each of us has a certain percentage of male and female genetic traits. Some totally repress the feminine traits. Some allow themselves to express the societal forbidden traits of the opposite gender. Even though I may have worn feminine clothing on occasion in the past, I think I truly became a cross dresser in the last twenty years. Before that I was still in the fetish stage.

[deebra]

Age 4 when my little girlfriend and I switched shoes.

[Renee W]

First time when I was around 12 or so. Don't know why, just had to try on my sister's pantyhose and skirt.

[Stacey Renee]

I was caught jumping on my mothers bed in her boots at 8... Don't think that is when it started, it started by me having a crush on a friends sister at 12, she dressed very sexy at 16, and I started stealing her clothes, I had a crush on her, but wished to look like her also if that makes sense...

[joandher]

At the tender age of five i can still remember trying on my auntys nylons while in bed with chicken pox 6 great weeks

[Brittany CD]

When I was very little I tried on a nurse costume. When I was twelve, I started to put on dresses. At age eighteen I started dressing as an actual girl

[Roni Lynn 68]

I would say around nine years old. I remember wanting to wear a bikini when I went swimming. Ran across one of my cousins at a yard sale we were having, snuck it up stairs in my aunts house and tried it on. I'll never forget the sight of me in the mirror. I wore it th rest of the day under my t-shirt and shorts. The bad part is till this day my cousin teases me about it cause little did I know the tie around my neck showed all day. My mom or aunt never mentioned it to me ever. I have never told my cousin where I am at in my life as far as dressing goes. Probably should she would probably be very supportive.

[STACY B]

I can remember wearing some of my mother's childhood clothing at my grandparent's home because I was bored out of my mind. Grandpa had a neat basement workshop. There was a backyard to try to catch cats and play in the dirt. But, my brother and I had to just sit around bored. I found the clothing and played dress up out of boredom. I do not think that turned me onto being a cross dresser. I had no desire to act like a girl. Just plain bored. Later I discovered the nice feeling of nylon slip hanging in the bathroom. That probably turned me onto the feel of the fabric. I still had no desire to be a girl. Maybe, when I was entering puberty I developed a sexual motivation to cross dressing, i.e., sexual release. I still did not want to become a woman. I still do not want to be a woman. That has caused me to develop my belief that each of us has a certain percentage of male and female genetic traits. Some totally repress the feminine traits. Some allow themselves to express the societal forbidden traits of the opposite gender. Even though I may have worn feminine clothing on occasion in the past, I think I truly became a cross dresser in the last twenty years. Before that I was still in the fetish stage. Girl Thank you very much,,,You saved me alot of typing ,,,LOL,,,, ,, You took the words rite outta my mouth !

[KlaireLarnia]

16 years old. My first item was a black mesh lace teddy bought in Woolworths in the UK. Very nervous when I got it as I knew nothing about women/girls clothing or sizing so it was a pure stab in the dark.

If you want to read the full ins and outs of when I started, why and what was in my mind read this post on my blog. It is a tad too long for reposting here but feel free to have a read and comment if you want.

http://diaryofacrossdresser.wordpress.com/2012/07/26/the-beginning/

[terri_sandal]

Around 10 to12 for me started wearing my mothers clothes ,for some reason I was always drawn to female clothing ,although I did exchange clothes with the girl next door when we were about 8 and the feeling was sooo liberating

[reb.femme]

It was about age 11/12 for me.

I remember my mum's short, silky slips and matching knickers. It was a tactile experience initially that started and grew with my entering puberty. Had hairy legs at 11 and remember a girl saying I was as hairy as a gorilla. Little did she know there was a female edge to this gorilla. :devil:

Felt like a naughty, grubby secret for years, but as I write this, I'm sat here in my own femme attire, forms and hair but no make-up and I'm loving it. So I think I found a gift back then and I don't want it to change, ever.

I have just seen Stephanie47 has written much the same as me in regard to my awakening. Oi!......stop stealing my memories! :)

Rebecca x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi FT. , It was around age 5 about 65yrs. ago and still going strong.

[Davena Doll]

For me it was about age 40. I walked by and hapend to notest the mini skirt rack at the thift store, it was very long about 15 feet or so. looking at all the frils, pufs, pleats, dingle balls, buttons and all the prety colors. I said to my self those look like fun.

[Marcia Blue]

I was in first grade, living in Clovis, NM. I usually chased horned toads and lizards, built forts, and had dirt clod wars. I also loved to play with the girls, dolls and such.
I found my Mom's stash of lipstick. I do not know what lead me to put it on, but I felt great once I did. I was soon into clothes also. Oh, to relive those firsts.

[April Lyn]

The earliest memory of dressing and/or wanting/needing to be a female was about the age of five for me. that was the year (1979) that my sister was born and I first realized that I wanted much more to be in the pretty dresses and things that were bought for her than what I had to wear, and from then on I was, at least as often as circumstances would allow.

- April

[angelicav]

5 years old,it was a pair of my mother's heels including pantyhose and she always left her closet open.Luckily my mother had no problem with it.

[silkypantyboy71]

The first memory I have of consciously dressing was at age 8. I remember being in the bathroom, seeing my mom's nylon briefs on the floor and trying them on. It felt so right and I was soon wearing mom's panties and bras every day.

The thing that really got me going initially happened at age 5. I soiled my pants at my grandparents' house and I had to wear my aunt's (probably 14 at the time) little pink nylon panties. Mmmmmm...

[Lainie]

Not sure, early teens I think--sneaking Mom's lingerie. Mom left her shoes by the back door, & for a while in mid-teens I wore them openly to take out the trash--she was amused. Then I got too big.
Didn't think about it at all again until graduate school, pantyhose a couple of times in my early 20's.
Didn't really get serious until mid-50s.

[Silmaril]

I have distinct memories around 5-6 of being fascinated by articles of clothing of my mom: nylons & garters, a pair of purple satin pumps she had, a blue, nylon nightgown, and other things like makeup.

I remember being 6-7 and playing with my two younger sisters, pretending we were characters from TV shows, with me wanting to be the female characters. But my mom discouraged that--gently--so I'd reluctantly be the boys instead.

I think it all started back then. But for me, cross-dressing *officially* began when I was around 12. I had strong dream--not necessarily primarily erotic, but powerful--in which I was wearing one of my sisters' swimsuits. I couldn't shake the image; within a few days, at my first chance, I snuck into her room, took the swimsuit into the bathroom, and put it on.

The genie was out of the bottle.

[outhiking]

I was 12 and it was my mom's frilly panties and matching baby-doll. I also remember wanting to trade places with the girls I had my first crushes on. Life seemed a lot more interesting for my sisters and their friends.

[Cynthia Anne]

At the age of four my older sister dressed me to play with her! Sure got into a lot of trouble after that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TeriAnn]

I believe mine was age 5 or 6, my memories were that of putting on my Moms high heels and walking around the house like that she also had a pair of boots that I could lace up tight on my feet so I could get around a lot better. That went on for a few months and my dad caught me and said no more. When I really knew I wanted to be a girl was about 17 years of age, that is when I moved out of my parents house and got my on place. Since that time I amassed a large collection of skirts dresses bras panties high heels and all the rest that makes up being a woman. I purged one time for about a year or so an ad in the paper or on tv got me started again and have never looked back. I wear womens clothing and shoes when I can and as much as I can. I would not change anything about my life except having SRS when I was in my teens. Oh well!!

[Shadowgirl89]

It started for me when I found a pair of white satin panties with red roses in a drawer in the bathroom (they belonged to my mom) and they felt so soft and smooth and tried them on just to feel the material on my skin and as soon as I slipped them on I knew panties and womens clothes in general were for me😊

[Shadowgirl89]

I was never attracted to women's clothes until then I was about 9yo

[a1stephie]

I suppose it is no surprise how many of us have such very similar starting experiences. It's kind of uncanny, but comforting to know you were not alone in how it all started. But in many ways we were so alone until days like this, where we have a community and can share these stories. If I had know it was 'ok' I would have saved myself a lot of guilt and purging, but that is the long road many of us have to travel to get to where we are today.

For me, I was about 4 or 5, I remember having seen 'Return of The Jedi' and laying in my bunk bed with this massive urge to be Princess Leia in her gold bikini. I would stuff rags down my pyjamas to make breasts for myself! After that it was the usual formula of sneaking tries of my mum's knickers and bras, poring over lingerie pages in catalogues, wanting oh-so-badly to be able to wear the beautiful teddies, basques and leotards that graced the pages. I then graduated to buying my own at Woolworth's when I was around 14 or so. Then more daring trips to department stores to more sexy knickers and suspender belts.

In my 20s I began to buy miniskirts and more lingerie, gradually getting my first tops and outfits, most of which were purged. But it was not until I was in my late 20s that I started with makeup and wigs properly and now in my early 30s have finally started keeping and storing proper outfits.

[danielletorresani]

Definitely around age 13 for me. As soon as puberty hit, I was done for...

[CarmenSkye]

When I was eight. I had a female cousin who was living with us for a while and she was a couple of years older than me. When she finally moved out I noticed that she left behind a dress in the laundry room. ( the laundry room was in my basement and near my play room.) I was curious and since no one was home, except my grandmother who was upstairs and just started cooking dinner, I grabbed it and quickly put it on. I then went to my play room and would skip and walk around in it imitating my cousin. I would even watch TV in it. I would go on to do this for a while, placing it back in its original location carefully everyday, until one day the dress disappeared. I assume it was returned to her but I haven't the slightest clue. I was never caught or anything. I just enjoyed the way it felt.

[vaga505]

I was not in school yet. I waited untill my mother left for work. I went to her vanity and grabbed her mascaira. I ran out to her crying and screaming, because I poked my eye. my father got after me. I must have been about 4 or a little older. I felt more then my male persona.

[Katie83]

I remember my first experience quite clearly. When i was about 7 i went to an all boys school. In the end of term drama production the female roles were played by boys, i was an angel, but the lead role was female called Beautiful Bleata. The boy playing her wore a lovely white dress and blonde wig. I was so jealous, i wanted that role. A few days later i went through the wardrobe in our spare bedroom, there was a pair of my mothers high heeled boots in there and i tried them on and loved them. Next came the skirts and so on. 22 years later i'm still dressing up, hopefully looking a little better now though!
Katie

[Teri Ray]

I figure I was 8 or 9 started with my mothers bra and panties found in a box of discarded clothing (intended for use a rags I suspect) once I tried them on I know I wanted to keep them. Funny thing was these were plain cotton type items. I can recall how my heart pounded trying them on. The rest is history I guess.

[Cheryl T]

I think I was about 7 when I first tried on my mom's things, but I remember having thoughts that were not congruent with being a boy much earlier. Perhaps that came from having dolls as some of my first toys and loving them so much.
Then there was the day I was sitting in mom's lap and poking her breast with my finger. After about the 5th time she told me to stop. I then asked her if mine would be like hers when I grew up. She shattered me by telling me I wouldn't have breasts as I was a boy!
Little did she know...and maybe if I had had a way to tell her....

[Beverley Sims]

I found a pair of bras in the street when I was 8.
I took them home, tried them on, and I was hooked.

[sonna]

6 or 7 my sisters were fighting over a pair of pantie hoise and i wanted to see what the big fuss about

[Cary]

It started for me around 8 wearing my mom's pantyhose.

[Amy Fakley]

It's truly astounding to see so many stories here that are, save for a detail or two, exactly the same as mine.
For me, it was 9 year's old. My mom used to leave her jazzercise (http://goo.gl/8U4gG) outfits to dry over the towel rail in my bathroom.
You know the rest ... one day I got the nerve, it felt wonderful, and from then on ... at every opportunity.

It's amazing to live in the future, and to finally have found that I'm not the only one in the world, and it's just astonishing to see how many others there are and how similar their stories are. Can't wait to get my 10 posts so I can fully join this community because it seems ... too good to be true to be honest :-)

[michellecd9999]

Around age 12, I would have a few hours alone after school, until my older brother would be home. One day I noticed a knee-length flowing night gown which was stored in a bottom drawer in my bedroom along with some other of my mother's clothes. I pulled the nighty out one day and pressed it against me and it felt so soft and sexy. It stirred my sexual feelings. I quickly undressed and slipped it on me and spent several minutes modeling it in front of the mirror, pretending I was a girl. Soon I was relieving myself. Almost every day I could not wait to get home and do it again. Over time, I moved to wondering what panties, pantyhose and slips would look and feel like so I added them, then high heels, dresses and makeup. I never was fully made up until many years later (in my 40's) when I got a wig and later had a professional makeover session.

[Sarah Doepner]

I was probably about 6 and was tossed into the bath with my girl cousin and we ended up playing mermaid. I didn't actually get a chance to dress until years later, but that's the first moment when I saw how much fun it might be.

[Skyeyes]

I think it really started for me around 4 or 5. I used to play with two girls in the neighborhood. Often we would play in the basement of one of the girls. Her mother had given her some old dresses and heels to play with. The three of us would dress in the dresses and heels. I had long hair at the time so I fit in. One time the girl's mother came down and watched up play. I remember her telling me I could be a pretty little girl. She proceeded to put lipstick on all three of us. We had many many days in the basement. I remember loving the idea of dressing as a girl.

Later around 7 a friend and I found his father's stash of picture books. It was the first time I had seen a naked woman. I was amazed at the beauty of the female body. I especially liked the simplicity of the female sex organ. I used to take a bath and then stand in front of the mirror and tuck my penis between my legs to replicate what I saw in the pictures.

At about 8 I started to try on my mothers underwear and the rest is like everyone else. I have had starts and stops along the way, but I always seem to come back to it. I now wear panties 7/24 and bras and slips when I can. I seem to only be interested in underwear. As I write I am wearing Bali panties, a Glamorise bra and a Vanity Fair slip.

[Claire Cook]

Hi FT. , It was around age 5 about 65yrs. ago and still going strong.

Ditto here, was probably earlier for moi.

[AmberTrippp]

My earliest memories are of me stealing my sisters clothes and feeling good wearing them. its strange how i never put two and two together until now haha. I just never thought twice about it.

[5150 Girl]

Some of my eaarlyest memories are of beeing caught playing with pantyhose, and begging Mom to let me have long hair.

[ArleneRaquel]

Age eight for moi and still loving it more than fifty years later.

[Tess]

I was 12 and discovered my mother's panties in the bathroom hamper. The rush I got putting them on has stayed with me ever since. Before I was done I had on her bra, shorts set, and lipstick from the medicine cabinet. Amazingly, I wasn't home alone at the time so it was a fast and furious experience. After that I would dress every time the rest of the family was out.

[RebeccaLynne]

what age were you when you began crossdressing?

Before kindergarten; four years old.


it seem that the average age is around between 7 to 12 years.

The law of averages has to take into account those who started much later... being here over seven years, seems I've read a tremendous number of posts in which the writer recounts their first experience being at a really early age.

TBS, appears a lot of us here had pre-teen experimention. Mine was certainly non-sexual; heck, I didn't know anything about sexuality. All I wanted to do was play with dolls and be pretty like the other little girls.


...an i dont even know to this day what tempted me at such a tender age but i do remember the thrill an then after revolt of what id done, so can you remember what age you were an what motivated you to try on your mums..sisters underwear.

Actually, the first panties and dress I wore were those of my male best friend's older sister (they lived across the street). My friend and I played "dress up" every chance we got.

His older sister came home one day to find us wearing her clothes, and, rather than being upset, participated in our playing with her dolls and being girls. I think she would've preferred a little sister over a little brother... so we all had a wonderful afternoon. And many thereafter, until my friend's Mom discovered our innocent play time.

She didn't approve, told my Mom, who told my Dad... who didn't approve, called me a sissy, and threatened to punish me if I did it again. Guess that's when I learned to keep it secret.

I've been guarded ever since. Throughout my life I've disclosed my CD'ing only to my former wife and my current GF; I'm always delighted to express my femme side, and never revolted by my insatiable desire to do so.

'Cause I really enjoy feeling feminine, dressing the part, and making the most out of life. I relish every single minute, hour, and day I crossdress; I wouldn't change a thing.

Except to have been born a girl.:daydreaming:

[rhonda]

I was 11 when tried on my sisters blue satin dress I've been hooked for good

[LaLaChic]

When I was 6, I spent the summer at my cousins' house. One of the older girls was about 17 at the time. She was so beautiful and she wore the prettiest clothes. I loved cuddling with her. She smelled like flowers and her skin was so soft. One day we were swimming in their pool and it was time to eat. All my clothes were in the washer and it was a little chilly. She threw a soft cotton sundress on me. Everyone giggled but it felt so good and natural. Ahhhhh. Summer, family, swimming all day, great food, and a pretty dress!

[audreyinalbany]

I was probably around three or four. I know it was well before I started school.

[Michaela42]

I can remember wearing some of my mother's childhood clothing at my grandparent's home because I was bored out of my mind . . .

I can remember raiding closets for shoes back when I was four or five years old. But I really did not start dressing until I was around ten to twelve, and similar to you, I was at my Aunt's and Uncle's and bored. They had all girls and a very messy front porch used for storage of . . . well, just about everything! As entertainment I would go out and 'clean-up', but only trading my shorts and sneakers for one of my cousin's old dresses and pumps. No one usually bothered me and the few times that my Aunt would stick her head out to check on me she did not say a word. From there I advanced to raiding my Mother's closet and hamper until none of her stuff would fit any longer. I have considered it much of a fetish back then, but I do remember the 'thrill' of wearing cute dresses and having them fit me well.

[KellyJameson]

I never had an attraction to the undergarments and the clothing for me was incidental to painting my nails, wearing my hair long, having my ears pierced
and the absence of body hair and later experimenting with cosmetics which was about using the face as a canvas to paint on for dramatic effect ,but mainly for my own enjoyment

My senses dictated what I was attracted to, not a conscious desire to look like a girl, which happened as a result of assembling all the little pieces and parts of what I was attracted to.

All very gradual starting around five with the interest in clothing paralleling my interest in theater toward the end of high school and all throughout college.

I do not create a mood by crossdressing but respond to one that already is there, so it is not about movement from one place to another but the expression of the place I already am in.

[sometimes_miss]

Odd things happened when I was a kid. Mom dressed me in girl clothes as a toddler; stopped when dad noticed. Once in school, I was abused by someone who told me I was really supposed to be a girl, and he dressed me up whenever we were together, often every day for weeks at a time, so I believed it, and eventually it became the norm for me, as I expected god to fix me and make me a girl. By the time high school rolled around, I was dressing up as a girl on my own regularly, with no sexual feelings connected to the female attire. Does that help explain anything?

[Marleena]

I remember crying in Kindergarden because I felt like I didn't fit in. At age 8 I tried on my older sister's party dress, panties, girdle and nylons. She caught me and scared the crap out of me by trying to lock me out of the house like that. I hid it after that.

[Scottstunt]

Around 8 is when i really was getting into wearing satin panties and pantyhose from my mom and sister. All through middle school aand high school, i was into bras, panties, socks and other items from girls i had dated. Now that im married i get full access to my wifes things..... Though she has no idea.

[Diane Smith]

My mom occasionally put nail polish and/or lipstick on me starting at age three or so, but it's not entirely clear to me whether that was mostly her idea, or mine. Certainly I did enjoy it, though. At five, I was a confirmed fan of high heels and would try to sneak into a pair whenever I had a chance. I'd say that's when it really began for me because it wasn't something that was initiated or encouraged by anyone else. It just grew from that point on.

- Diane

[heatherdress]

My wonderful wife, prompted me to buy a pair of high heels - one day, while shopping, I was offering to buy her a pair of high heels she had tried on - she then started a conversation asking me if I enjoyed buying her shoes - she then suggested that I buy my very own pair of high heels

[Tomara]

I was six years old when I tried on one of my older sisters bras for the first time , and that was .......... 50 years ago !!!!
Wow where has all that time gone ?

[Janelle_C]

I was around eight or nine I remember going in my moms room and trying on her bras. I remember thinking I wish I had breast too.

[~Joanne~]

It was around the age of 10. I remember my science teacher always wore pantyhose and open toed shoes. She had beautiful legs and feet in hose. I often wondered how could this material be so thin to see all the details of her legs and feet but change the color of her legs at the same time? Then came the "I wonder what they feel like?"

Fast forward a few days/weeks/?? and I remember finding a brand new, still in the package, pair in my mom's drawer. First reaction was "my mom wears these?" because I hardly ever saw her wearing them. A few minutes later, I was wearing them and loving every minute of it. Then it moved to shoes :) I often wonder if My mom ever missed that pair of pantyhose....

[Josie]

When I was around 6 yrs old I would put on my sister's sweater, my mother would tell me to take it off. I think that I must have learned then to hide my desires.

[tonidouglas]

I was about 6 or 7 I use to try on moms hose and body brifers and I too would wish I had breast to fill them out. Back then i didnt know what it was called but I would tuck and pretend I had a vagaina too.

[krissy]

I was 8 i dressed in my sisters outfit in a movie house i stayed dressed the whole day our mom used to leave us there all day party dress white socks pink panties black shoes it was so great

[drushin703]

I was bitten by the bug when I was around 13 years old. My mothers girdle drawer had become my weakness and everytime I walked past it, it had to be opened.
The seasoned smell of rubber, the texture and even the triangular shaped patters on the satin panels was pure pleasure exhausted, it wasn't long before I had one
on over my hips...Wow!

[Amy R Lynn]

I think I was about 8. We had some family over and I had to sleep in the (finished) attic. While I was up there getting ready for bed I found one of my Mom's silk nighties. I slipped it on and loved it. I can remember another time when I was younger trying on a pair of hose, but I'm not sure how old I was. I can remember when I was younger wishing that they made dresses for boys. I'm quite certain that if I had a sister I would have been raiding her clothes. As it was though... I have a brother. Love him to pieces. We are like best riends, but no dresses or girly clothes for me to wear. So... I really didn't open up and seriously start dressing until about six months ago. I started and haven't looked back. I love every second of it!

[psion128]

I think it started when I was after 10 years old. I can't remember off the top of my head. I just always remembered looking at the ads in the news paper of the female models. It would be the swim wear or the intimates sections. The rest is history.

[elizabethamy]

Clip and save this thread to show anyone who tells you "it's all in your head and you can just will it away." That for almost everyone it started before puberty is powerful evidence that CD/TG is hard-wired within us.

[cdterri]

I was 4-5, found a bag of little girl clothes in an unused closet, fell in love with a blue cotton dress, full skirt and puffed sleeves. Have been wearing dresses and skirts ever since. Over 60 years.

[sandcastle]

what age were you when you began crossdressing? it seem that the average age is around between 7 to 12 years. i remember i was around 6 to 8 years old when i started wearing my mums knickers straight out of the laundry basket, an i dont even know to this day what tempted me at such a tender age but i do remember the thrill an then after revolt of what id done, so can you remember what age you were an what motivated you to try on your mums..sisters underwear.

Yes, I remember starting with the laundry basket thing too.

Sandra

[Annaliese2010]

Probably 12 or so but episodic at low frequency & mainly for the thrill or adrenaline 'rush'. Growing up...I was hypersexual I guess (like who isn't though eh). Now...IDK, it's a take it or leave it, waxing/waning kinda thing. Not the center of focus, not important all that much.

I guess being productive & doing well, working smart (not 'hard') is all I really care about at the moment. That, and meeting interesting new friends now & then are my principal interests. I swear...lately I have no interest in sex. It's overrated.

Lah-de-dah...

184601

[NathalieX66]

Me, it started with the day that I realized that male clothing and presentation was different than female clothing and presentation. I don't have an exact date, but I picked a side, that's all I know.

[DebbieL]

One of my earliest happy memories was about 2 years old. I made a dress out of a dry cleaning bag. Mom tied something around my waist and told me how pretty I looked. I wore it the rest of the day. When dad came home, he freaked out, not because I was wearing a dress, but because he was afraid I'd suffocate in the plastic.

By the time I was 3, I mostly played with girls, and we even put on a circus. I got dressed up in tights and a leotard and jumped off the roof of the garage onto a mattress. I was scared but one of the older girls helped me get the courage to jump. We also colored and played girl games. I didn't like playing with boys.

I remember in first grade, about 5, one of the girls was wearing a pair of black shiny tights. They looked soooo pretty. I touched her gently and she smiled, and I asked her if they felt as nice wearing them as they felt to touch them. She smiled and said yes. The teacher told me I had to stop talking and get back to reading. Everything was fine and I usually played with the girls more than the boys through most of first grade.

Then we moved to a new house, and I had to go to a new school. At first, all the girls liked playing with me, kissing me, and eventually just let me be "one of the girls". I'd usually go to the other girls' houses and play, and we'd switch clothes, usually they wanted to try on my shirts and I'd try on theirs. One day, we traded clothes and the girls decided to let me put on the panties, slip, dress, tights, and shoes. If I'd had longer hair, I'd have been a pretty girl. We all giggled, then we started coloring and playing. When her mom came home and saw me in the dress, she freaked out big time. She told me to get out of the dress, put on my boy clothes, and go home and never come back. The next day, the teacher told me I had to play with the boys, and told the girls they couldn't play with me. The boys threw rocks at me and called me a "Sissy". The teacher tried to explain to the class that a "Sissy" was a nickname, like "Buddy" which was short for brother. Sissy was the nickname for Sister. I smiled big and said, yes, that's what I am! But it didn't stop them from throwing rocks at me.

My mom didn't dress up much, but on Sunday she would dress up extra pretty for church. When we got home from church, she would take everything off and put it in the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom. Shortly after the incident above, I was missing the chance to trade clothes with my friends. I couldn't sleep and I went to the bathroom to make sure that the monster in the bathroom was only clothes. I turned on the light, started to put the clothes into the hamper, and saw mom's pretty clothes. She wore stockings, girdle, bra, and panties, a slip, and a washable dress. I tried it on, and loved all the different sensations. The stockings felt like I was being caressed. The girdle felt like a hug. The bra just made me feel "Pretty". I loved putting on the slip because it made my whole body feel slippery. Then I'd put on the dress, which was way too big, but I would belt it with a scarf or something. I did this many times during the summer while I locked myself in the bathroom. Mom didn't notice until one day she had to go so bad she couldn't wait for me to get changed back into my boy clothes and she used a hanger to unlock the bathroom door. She saw me dressed up, still wearing her slip, girdle, and stockings.

She tried to be understanding, and offered to get me some tights like the girls wore. I remember telling her how much I wanted to be a girl, and how much I hated being a boy. Back in 1960, there was no public information on transsexuals. My father explained that he had taken a test that showed that he was 75% female based on his preferences. He didn't want me brutalized as a sissy, so he tried to discourage my dressing, or at least re-frame it by giving me a cape so I could be a super-hero, like superman. That lasted about 2 weeks, but I kept the tights much longer, until they were literally shredded all over my legs, under my jeans. I asked for another pair, but dad refused. Mom told me that if she knotted a pair of stockings or pantyhose, that meant she was throwing them away. If I wanted to do the laundry, and fold the clothes, I could keep the ones that had knots in them. There were many times when the run was only in the toe, or there wasn't a run at all, but I knew I could keep them. I'd hide my "stash" between the mattress and bedsprings of my bed.

I wanted to get caught, so they could do something to make me a girl. I even got dressed up in pantyhose and teddy or slip and fell asleep, pushing the covers off so that dad would have to tuck me in. Yet every time, he would just ignore it. Both of my parents knew I was trapped, they knew I wanted to be a girl, but back in those days, there was nothing they could do. Eventually, my stash got so big I hid it in the bottom of my closet, but mom decided to clean my closet and found it. She asked my why I took her teddy. I told her that I wanted to be a girl, and the teddy made me feel like one. She told me that I could keep the teddy, that she hated it anyway, but I had to stop stealing her clothes.

By the time I was 11, I was almost the same height as my mom, and had a nice slim figure. I often stayed home sick, taking longer to heal than normal, and dressing up completely, including hose, high heeled boots, short skirt, blouse, and mom had even gotten a wig. I could even go outside if I wanted and no one would know. I'd watch Honey West, and wished I could be in that beautiful shiny dress she wore. When it was over, I had to change back, and make sure that any clothes I took from her drawer were back in her drawer.

I think mom liked having a "daughter" too. I liked teaching me how to crochet, knit, sew, cook, and do laundry. In the summer, my brother and sister would go down the block to play with friends, and I'd get all dressed up, do the laundry, wash the dishes, vacuum the floors, and even do the cooking. Often, I would find myself being rewarded by knotted stockings and perfectly clean panties that had been thrown in the trash. Mom couldn't bring herself to take me shopping for girl clothes, but she did ask if I wanted to go shopping with her and help her pick out clothes. I loved to go shopping with her, and I would pick out things I would want to wear, that the other girls were wearing, and she would end up getting them, which my dad, and the people at church, really loved. Mom realized that I really understood fashion, and kept taking my advice. She knew I was wearing the clothes I picked out, but she never said a word. I don't know whether she didn't want to encourage me, didn't want me to get my hopes up, or didn't like it and wanted to pretend it wasn't happening.

[Joanne Curl]

It was 9 or 10 for me. I started by raiding the clothes hamper in the bathroom of my mom's bra's and girdles, loved the girdles. Then I found her makeup that she didn't wear very often. Whenever I was home alone I'd try on her dresses and a couple of wigs she had, put on her makeup and wonder why I was so attracted to it. It always ended in mastrabation and then guilt and a promise to myself that I wouldn't do it again (which lasted until the next time I was home alone). When I was 12 or 13 and the style was for boys to have long hair, I bought some setting solution and bobby pins, put the solution on my longish hair and pinned my straight, thick blond hair into pin curls. I'd lay awake all night for my hair to dry and then take out the pins and have a head full of pretty blond curls. I loved it and have great memories of it. I'd tease my hair into the best tall boufont (sp) hairstyles and spray it with tons of hairspray. I'd dress in clothes I had stashed and get so sexually stimulated and wish I could go out and let everyone see the girl that was inside of me. Then I'd shower and wash out my pretty hairstyle and remove all traces of my makeup in the morning before anyone could see me. I sure wish I had that beautiful full head of hair today. I don't know how many times I purged all my girl stuff, just to start all over again, always thinking I could stop cross dressing. Now I know I am and always will be a cross dresser and Joanne is and always will be part of who I am.

[Suramya2010]

It was around 7-10y when I started.. but I loved more general clothing girls/women wear rather than undergarments, lingerie or any fancy stuff. Just loved the feeling and their look.
Thereafter it just evolves with many other aspects, like thinking being a real girl.

[MelanieB]

Clip and save this thread to show anyone who tells you "it's all in your head and you can just will it away." That for almost everyone it started before puberty is powerful evidence that CD/TG is hard-wired within us.

This is the most accurate statement I think I've seen on these forums. The puberty/sex side of things often manages to mask the fact that many of us got involved in this, long before we had any knowledge of sexual identity or gender.

For me my first memories are from the age of 5 or 6....but this could be out...maybe 4 or so, it doesn't really matter.

Frankly I think it all started when I was an egg.....think someone painted a ladies face onto my shell....

[Sarah27]

From my earliest memories back to 3 or 4, maybe earlier, I knew I was a girl, I was dressing as soon as I could find the nerve to, never stopped, at many points I thought it was normal. I was devastated when I found out that I was not normal.

[cinderellaman]

I remember being 12 or 13 and trying on my mom's bras. I just loved the feeling. When my body hair started coming in, I was devastated-I hated it!!! I stopped from about 16 until I got my first divorce at about 30. While living alone, I went out and bought some sexy undies, bras, stockings, jewelry and sex toys. After I got re-married, I had a secret stash for when I went on the road. I kept it in my car. My then wife found it and was upset that I kept it from her, but accepted it. We would go shopping together and sometimes she would surprise me with a sexy outfit for me and the exact same one for her. We have since divorced, and now I underdress 80% of the time. I've bought wigs, make up shoes, dresses, jewelry. I just love wearing women's clothes!!!

[Jane-C]

I was 4. One of my older sisters had been to a fancy dress about 2 years previously I don’t remember what she went as but my granny had made her this beautiful silky maroon top with long puffy sleeves and covered in sequins. I found it in the hall cupboard one day and put it on. I remember I did not like the feel of the sequins so much as they were rather rough but the silky feel of the top just felt so right. Around the same time while my mom was doing house work I’d put on a pair of her red sandals she had, there was a matching red handbag that I’d drape around my neck and go clunking around the house. I don’t remember how or why that stopped. 2 years later one of my aunties gave my 2 older sisters and myself undies for Christmas, mine were real boy with (I think) a picture of Spiderman on the front. These were the days when white jockey Y-fronts was the norm. But my sisters each got 2 pairs of lacy panties with a Christmas cracker and the word crack embodied across the front. How I envied my sisters! Some months later I “borrowed” a red pair from one of the girls and wore them under my shorts for the rest of the day. Next morning I had a bit of a problem, were to hide them, I couldn’t put them back as we were all getting ready for school so in my wisdom I hid them in the pillow case of my beds pillow. When I returned from school to my horror the bedding had been changed. Well when my Dad got home later all hell broke loose he broke 2 wooden spoons on my ass. Could not ride my pony for 3 days. In hind sight I realized that my Dad went berserk because I stole something but at the time I thought it was because I was wearing girls stuff. It took a long time to realize that significant point. As when I was 12 (I have posted this elsewhere) and returning home from boarding school only to find my stash of “things” as I used to refer to my hoard had been discovered and was right in the middle of my bed. My Dad only said “Nanny found your toys” and nothing more was ever said re the matter. Sorry to go on and on.

Hugs,
Jane

[Angela Campbell]

I started so young I am not sure I remember not being interested in wearing girls clothes. Even around 4 years old my only playmates were two girls across the street from me. We played with dolls and played dress up and I loved it all. I really loved dressing up their Barbies. I can remember playing in the bathtub with wash clothes as clothes. I would put them on top of my body as I laid down in the tub. One across as a pair of panties, then one across my chest as a bra, then another laid across as a half slip then another across the top as a camisole slip. I can remember my mom asking why I used so many wash cloths. Once I was old enough to be left alone in the house for short periods I would try on my moms stuff and never really stopped wanting to dress up. Never been caught so far. Only one other person ever knew. I had a girlfriend who lived with me for a while who enjoyed me wearing lingerie when we were in private, but even she never knew the full extent. She only knew about wearing the underwear when making love and playing. Been married twice and neither one ever had a clue. I could not let them know because they both said hurtful things when seeing one on tv or in person.