lesson learned

[Badtranny]

Another day, another hard lesson.

I was invited by a FaceBook friend to appear as an extra in her independent film project. That's not really my thing but I thought it would be a fun thing for me and my BFF to do so I said sure. Well the scene they were filming was a "costume wedding" with a bunch of people in wacky costumes, animals, mermaids, circus performers, etc so she asked what I'd like to be and I said I didn't really care as long as it wasn't a waiter or some other male character. She asked if I had any costumes and I said I was Alice in Wonderland last year for Halloween and she said that would be perfect. Okay then, Alice it is.

The call sheet said all costumed extras had to show up IN costume unless the costume was being provided so I did and everything was fine, ...for the first ten minutes. Now, I had already decided a couple of years ago that I wasn't going to be doing any more "costume" parties because of a crappy New Years Eve experience, but I thought that things would surely be different now because I look so much different than I did two years ago. Well, I should have listened to my inner voice because I was about to experience a crushing blow to my ego. Followed by more crushing blows.

I met my friend at the door and she walked us upstairs to where the makeup artists were stationed and working their magic on the extras. Right away, all the women started complimenting me on my sexy Alice costume. I was flattered and appreciative, but after a few minutes, I started to ponder on why the complements were so effusive. I didn't look THAT good and there were much cuter girls there. Then my friend's husband came up the stairs and loudly proclaimed WOW!. I looked over and he was looking right at me and he walked over and said "that is a fantastic costume". He went on and on about how hot I was and he took a couple of pics (he was the photographer taking stills) and went back downstairs. I was loving the attention (he was a good looking guy) but something was really bugging me. The compliments were lovely but they just seemed a little bit over the top. Like nobody had ever seen a chick in a saucy costume before. Eventually the male extras started showing up and it was my turn to say wow. One of those guys was maybe the most beautiful man I had ever seen up close. I could hardly keep from looking at him.

The guys were kinda standing in a group over in the corner and I definitely noticed them looking at me on a couple of occasions and I thought I noticed something familiar but I wasn't gonna let my self go there. It was only a few minutes later when it happened. I was talking with this perfectly lovely lady who was waiting for her turn in the chair when she said, "that's my 14 year old son over there, (in the makeup chair) he's getting dressed up like a girl too, can you believe it?"
.
.
.
.
.
I wish I knew how to spell the sound of my heart sinking.

Suddenly it all made sense. Everybody was making such a big deal because they thought I was a dude in a Hot Alice costume. I know that I don't pass 100% yet, but thankfully I do pass most of the time, and it's only rarely do I get the "look" or the comment while I'm working. But that's different, I look fem enough with my boobs and hair that I fly under the radar during the course of a normal day. People don't see me and think that I'm in costume, so they apparently just accept that I'm what I look like. Most of the time anyway, ...but at a costume event, all bets are off. They see me and acknowledge my feminine features, but I have enough masculine cues remaining (for the time being) that they just assume that I'm a guy dressing up for the show. I get it and I'm not upset with anyone, but I can tell you one thing for sure; No more costumes for me.

[Raquel June]

That is a bad combination of flattering and sucking.

I made a Tinkerbell costume for a Halloween party in 2009. And I went to a kinda rednecky bar for awhile before the party. A woman had been standing close to me for awhile, and eventually said, "Oh my God! I had no idea! I said to my husband 'That's a really tall girl,' but then I heard you talk and realized you were a guy! I love your makeup!"

I mean, it's a totally honest complement, but it sucks. But it doesn't suck that much. It's a hell of a lot better than people averting eye contact and whispering about you. There are letdowns and then there are dehumanizing experiences, and you have to chalk up being read as just a letdown.

It's actually funny and ironic. A lot of us start off in the closet and our only opportunities to go out are going to gay bars or dressing up at Halloween. But then when we actually transition those end up being the hardest places to pass.

[DanaR]

It's sad when others have a good time at your expense. I think that most of the time they think that it doesn't matter, but it does.

[kellycan27]

I wouldn't feel too bad if I were you. Passing for us is difficult at best. If you take out all the variables like blending, slipping under the radar, not being noticed and not giving a s**T,( when someone says I can pass) there aren't very many who are going to pull it off when it's right up close and personal, in your face and in close quarters. :hugs:

Kel

[Nicole Erin]

At a costume thing -
People are expected to look eccentric. Let us be honest - at a gay or drag bar, can you always tell who the GG's and TG's are? I know I have mistaken one for the other.

As far as "passing without giving male cues" - It is discouraging when we read these stories about "Oh I pass 100% of the time and no one knows" and you see photos and don't really know how well the photo represents the RL person.

Melissa here is the thing - regardless of how well one "passes", we kind of have to get used to people detecting us. yes it sucks, gyod damn like the other day at work I got called "sir" like 3 times in one hour. I would just say, "It is ma'am"

OH with what Raquel said yes it is true about being the harest places to pass at gay bars cause people are looking for it. They know trannies are gracing the place

Allow the verbal sodomizing from some members to begin but let us be honest, some people on this forum are full of it when they act like they don't get read and no one knows. At least some of us are honest enough to admit we do run into problems.

Melissa here is the thing - anytime you want to do something, there are just certain things you have to put up with.

[Stephenie S]

Gee sweetie, ya gotta put in some input here. You can't just sit there and take it like that.

"Oh, you thought I was a guy? Really? Sorry, you're wrong. I'm not."

Listen! Are you a woman or not? If you're a woman, then you have to ACT like a woman. How would a natal woman respond to someone mistaking her for a guy?

These things happen, you know. There's a mentally challenged man where I work who thought I was a guy for about a month. He still calls me "buddy". I tease him about his mistake sometimes. This is gonna happen sometimes to all of us who are blessed with masculine gender markers. You have to be able to deal with it. It will happen.

So how secure are you in your identity? You had better learn to be pretty darn secure.

The time to figure out how to respond to this mistake is now, before it happens. I find laughter helps.

"WHAT? You thought I was a guy? Yeah, right!"

Most sensitive people are quite embarrassed when they find out they have gendered you wrong. They usually fall all over themselves apologizing. But you have to do your part. You have to respond with absolute certainty.

OK?

Stephie

[Persephone]

So sorry to hear what happened, Melissa!

Did your Facebook friend know about your past? Is it possible that word was out before you got there?

I know that when it does happen it feels like you've been stabbed. And sometimes, the less frequently it happens the more a blindsiding occurance can hurt.

Illigitimus non carborundum est, girl; don't let the bast***s grind you down.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[melissaK]

Thought provoking. I get it. I have never dressed cross gender for a Halloween party, and largely because people would think I'm putting on a dress to clown around, and I know I'd be putting it on because I want to be taken seriously, and getting treated like a clown would be crushing. When I cross dress at other than Halloween, others know I want to be taken seriously and they are more discrete in their comments.

Still, from what you say - you must have looked pretty "I can't believe he's really a guy" amazing for guys to want photographs.

Hugs,
'lissa

[Badtranny]

Thanks girls. It's nice to vent to people who really do understand. Steph, this isn't about my security, ( I don't think) it's more about my ridiculously high expectations vs the cold water splash of reality. My past is known to all of my FB friends so it's possible that she could have been talking about her "special" friend but it's more likely that I looked a bit like a dude in an Alice costume. I don't care if people know what I am, I just don't want it visible from 10 paces. ;-)

...and yes the compliments were awesome and I did feel kinda sexy with all the guys checking me out. Back in the day I would have called that day a win on all counts, it's funny how we change. On the plus side, I know why that costume is so "revealing" and I'm already taking steps (and making progress) to eliminate the problem.

[STACY B]

Let me give my one cent ,,I dont have two ,,, But it WAS a COSTUME ,,,,An people that are in COSTUMES are trying to HIDE !! An they thought you were trying ti HIDE ,,,An doing a real good job ,,, Its kinda like If I was to dress up as FAT ALBERT ,, Already weigh 500ib only thing I have to do is get black an get a red shirt an some jeans on ? So I have an edge ..But they all know Im not black ,,, But I look good cuz Im already FAT ! GET IT ? Thats why you looked so good cuz you CHEATED ,,Dressing as a girl ,,Cuz you already are one ,,Just had to put on the outfit ,,,CHEATING !!

[Badtranny]

Here's a pic one of the guys sent me.

[MC-lite]

Did your facebook friend know that you were trans? did she tell other people there?
Honestly, the picture does -not- portrey you in a masculine light at all.

[Nicole Erin]

The picture doesn't seem bad. I mean you do not look like a "dude in a dress".

Your friend probably went and ran her mouth about your TS status is what happened. People love to "out" us, even friends and family. They act like we are some shameful acquaintance.. "Tina the Transsexual is coming over, is that OK with everyone?"
I know a few times people would say, "I told so and so about you". It is like we cannot just live as women, people insist on having to tell others. We cannot just be Melissa or Erin, no, we have to be "transgender Melissa" or "transgender Erin". As if they have to prepare people to meet someone with some visible ailment.
That is why I associate with so few people. If people like me but feel the need to "prepare" others to meet me, f*** it, I would rather be lonely.

I honestly don't think anyone would have given your gender a second thought if your friend had not insisted on (likely) blabbing her mouth. You do pass well. decent slender build, feminine face, good hair... I mean unless the voice gives it away. I don't know what you sound like so I cannot say there.

[Persephone]

Hard to tell from a single picture, Melissa, but you look totally fine to me. Love the costume on you, love your terrific smile, and your hair looks great!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Badtranny]

It's my arms, shoulders, and back that give me away. I still have some vestigial muscle left over from my motocross days and my upper back is a little too broad for a woman. You can't tell from the picture, (this is why pictures are misleading) but while I may be small for guy my height, I'm still too big for a woman of my height. This is the part that takes time. Even after my surgeries and not having testicles, it still takes time for the body to recover from so many years of testosterone poisoning. My shape is improving slowly, I just need to help it along by not feeding it so much.

It's all good because I'm on the Inna diet and I've already lost 5 pounds this month. This is no longer about losing fat, that has been accomplished. Now it's about losing muscle and letting my new chemistry reshape me.

[Persephone]

I tried to look at your upper arms along with the way you were holding them and, granted it is only one photo, but they did not look terribly discrepant to me.

I too have arms that are a bit more muscular than they should probably be and I do notice that the manager at the gym will sometimes make a comment about how strong I look when I wear some particular sleeveless blouses that seem to highlight my arms. But frankly I think we make too much out of those things. So you are a woman who has strong arms or perhaps you work out, who cares?

I still go with they were tipped off before you got there.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Debglam]

You are SOOOOO hard on yourself Melissa! It really makes me sad.

I think the main issue here is context and not so much you or even the costume. (And maybe your friend did let the cat out of the bag.). Acting IS illusion and I can't think of a situation where you would be under any less scrutiny to see who is behind the costume and makeup!

[SuzanneS]

Melissa,
The pic of you in the Alice costume looks great, and you look like a natural woman to me. I don't care that we can't see your back in the pic, you look very passable to me. I'd say that your friend let everyone else know beforehand.... I'd like to look as good as you do in that Alice costume someday...

Suzanne

[Helen Grandeis]

Karate not here Melissa-San. Karate here (in your soul)

[Badtranny]

Karate not here Melissa-San. Karate here (in your soul)

There was an old guy who used to watch me wax off when I was young too. ;-)

[gonegirl]

Hi Melissa,

You do look hot in that pic and I'm not surprised that you were being looked at and complemented on. I've been on a lot of film sets and it's a culture where people check out the eye candy.

I'm sorry that you feel bad because the attention was maybe off-the-mark (I say maybe because apart from that mother, the rest might not have had a Trans thought in their heads), however, just focus on the fact that the attention you received was all positive. If anyone had any issues with you then you would have known about it.

You go girl! :battingeyelashes:

Mac.

[gonegirl]

Karate not here Melissa-San. Karate here (in your soul)


There was an old guy who used to watch me wax off when I was young too. ;-)

Kara te = Empty hand.

Since it wasn't your hand, then what were you using to wax off? ;^)

Mac

[DeeDee1974]

You look amazing. I don't see one masculine trait. Total hottie.

[ColleenA]

Melissa, I love that picture of you. I'm wondering: How long did it take you to look that good? About 30 minutes or so? And two years ago, how long would it have taken to achieve such a good look? Much longer, I am guessing? If I'm right, doesn't that indicate you've come quite a ways already?

[Jorja]

I am just wondering here.... Do you suppose you felt maybe a little out of place not knowing anyone except your friend therefore feeling like you were sticking out in the crowd? I find it hard to believe that anyone would do that there. You are in the most GLBT friendly place in the world. As for the arms, shoulders, and back, just ask any GG if there is a part of her body she would change. I am positive she would say yes. Besides, guys like girls who work out. ;)

[ReineD]

I dunno, Melissa ... I've been watching the olympics and athletic women have wide shoulders too. :)

[Raquel June]

while I may be small for guy my height, I'm still too big for a woman of my height. This is the part that takes time. Even after my surgeries and not having testicles, it still takes time for the body to recover from so many years of testosterone poisoning. My shape is improving slowly, I just need to help it along by not feeding it so much.

I don't want to be advocating you losing weight when you obviously don't need to lose weight ... but you're right ... and a lot of us are in the same boat.

When you think about it, all tall women look kinda masculine unless they're either super-skinny or super-curvy. And I know I'll never pull off super-curvy unless I get 40 lbs. of butt/hip implants. I had so much muscle that I weighed 200 to 205 for years and even had abs at 205, and now I've lost a bunch of the muscle but I still need to kinda starve myself if I want my middle to go in and my butt to go out.

But Inna? Are anorexic models still writing diet books? If I saw some pictures that she used to be fat that might be interesting, but I don't trust diets that are endorsed by people who have never been overweight and probably have the genetics to eat whatever they want.




I dunno, Melissa ... I've been watching the olympics and athletic women have wide shoulders too. :)

Yeah, even some of the 4'8" gymnasts have incredibly wide shoulders and look pretty masculine (for little girls in sparkly outfits).

[ReineD]

Yeah, even some of the 4'8" gymnasts have incredibly wide shoulders and look pretty masculine (for little girls in sparkly outfits).

Yup, and I personally think they look great. I feel empowered when I see them and I'm cheering them on not only for their focus and dedication to their sport, but the fact that they are unabashedly following their dreams. Missy Franklin (swimmer) is only 17 and has been training with the men to improve her competitive edge. She's 6'1" with powerful shoulders, but she is every bit as feminine in my eyes as any other woman. She's always smiling, has a terrific outlook, a gorgeous smile, and is actually quite girly when you see her in interviews. :)

[Raquel June]

Missy Franklin (swimmer) is only 17 and has been training with the men to improve her competitive edge. She's 6'1" with powerful shoulders, but she is every bit as feminine in my eyes as any other woman. She's always smiling, has a terrific outlook, a gorgeous smile, and is actually quite girly when you see her in interviews. :)

Yeah, she's totally girly and pretty and has an awesome smile. She might have a muscular upper body, but nobody is mistaking her butt/hips for those of a guy!

http://popwatch.ew.com/2012/07/31/olympic-stud-of-the-day-missy-franklin/

[Kelli Ca]

Very nice pic but I think it important to remember you were at an entertainment event so thecrowd esp the make up artists are probably a bit more aware and acute then most, for my buck you look damn good. Im looking at this on my phone can't wait to get home and pull it up on the big screen

[StephanieC]

I don't know. I have a totally different read. I still wonder if they DID consider you hot looking. I wonder if you're replaying that through your own filter and that is always harder on us.

I have a GG friend at work who tells me she sometimes goes to the local gay club and they often peg her as a dude. She may wear boxers but she no way looks like a dude...long hair, very slender, beautiful face...nothing big or boxy. Go figure.

-stephani

[Badtranny]

But Inna?

I know! ...but I've seen pictures and she was built very similar to how I was. A solid 5'11" and an athletic 220 pounds. I could get down to 190 if I was training hard during race season, but I was a sturdy dude. My frame has always been small, but I was a big eater and extremely active so I had plenty of muscle. It's a shame I hated my body so much.

Yes Inna made a miracle happen by restricting calories and dropping the junk altogether. I'm one month into her program and I feel great and I'm losing weight!

RD, yes there are plenty of women who have broad shoulders or whatever but I am not blessed with female physiology. T girls need to mitigate EVERY masculine feature to have the best chance of an overall feminine look. Every 5'11" GG I know, (and I know a couple very well) are extremely slender. Let's just say they DON'T weigh 175lbs.

[ReneeT]

Melissa, i think you are way too hard on yourself. Honestly, you look no less feminine than the girl in black in the left of the picture. I guarantee you that no one looking at that picture sees anything but two women. Now find something else to worry about :-)

[Badtranny]

Melissa, i think you are way too hard on yourself.

Dang it Renee, you know as well as I do that pictures are mostly bogus. If you were to see me up close in person, you would see that my dimensions are a little out of whack. I'm not complaining, I'm just taking note and getting to work on it. ;-)

I am fully aware of how lucky I am to look the way I do, but that doesn't mean I'm satisfied. I may never be satisfied. I might be hard on myself, but a woman's reach should always exceed her grasp right?

[kellycan27]

When I started out i got read more than the Sunday edition of the LA times... It gets better lol

[Bree-asaurus]

Dang it Renee, you know as well as I do that pictures are mostly bogus. If you were to see me up close in person, you would see that my dimensions are a little out of whack. I'm not complaining, I'm just taking note and getting to work on it. ;-)

Pictures are stupid... I'm with you! If the angle is slightly different, it can make you look like a beauty queen or Gollum (sp? That nasty little dude from Lord of the Rings).


I am fully aware of how lucky I am to look the way I do, but that doesn't mean I'm satisfied. I may never be satisfied. I might be hard on myself, but a woman's reach should exceed her grasp right?

I'm with you there too... I know I'm lucky, but it still doesn't convince me that I'm not horribly awkward looking. No matter what I could do to change this body, I'm sure I'd still find something to complain about.

It's common for women to never be satisfied with what they've got. Reaching for the stars is great, as long as you don't fall off your ladder trying too hard.

Just do what I do: Even if I'm not happy with how I look, I blind people with my amazing personality ;) muahahaha :D

[mik_200]

Melissa you look fine

M

[Chickhe]

Just from some of my limited experiences, costume parties are very tricky...you can pass if your costume is not too feminine....I mean, if the character is a female with a slight masculine twist... think Zena, Joan Jett... if its too sexy and feminine then anything that is not perfectly feminine will get noticed and having some features that are more on the male side will call you out. I had this exact thing happen to me, once in my life as a CDer, I was done up to the max and got read at every turn, but trying to look like a slighly masculine female I was accepted as a female. Parties are a special case because everyone is expecting prople to do drag. Real life, I'm sure you do well based on your avitar.

[Kristy_K]

Melissa I think you look fine also, very female. Just like Kelly said, things will get better.

I had even mistake natural born girls for males some times.

Woman as well men comes in all shapes and sizes.

[Launa]

I also don't know what to say about this situation because you look pretty darn good "as a woman" in that costume.
For me I constantly check people out in public to see if I can spot a CD or TS and I now have a pretty good eye, looking at you in the costume, I wouldn't know right off the bat.... It would take me a while to figure you out but the costume would for sure send up the red flags and signals in my brain that would say hey is that a guy or a girl?

[Inna]

Hey girl, 6-8 years....I know it majorly sucks, no...... worst It Is Frickin Impossible! Yet we do it, we get there, through pain of rejection, through misery, through tears...WE GET THERE!

Fact is which I now understand more and more, Totality of visual and sensual clues needs to be spot on, unlike natal girl, they can be boyish, wide shouldered, tall, fat, chunky, and they will still automatically be A GIRL, their every cell is a GIRL, every atom. US......well, we need to teach our cells to behave like girls, not an easy task at hand. Believe me I know, I have just started consultations for Feminine Poise, a service to TG community on femininity, and if I have seen one girl in transition who exudes womanness it would be one too many, but all exude womanliness!

It isn't to say that achieving near femininity will get us passing 100% it will, but this is going to be very important: We Need To Be More Feminine Then Average Female!!!!!! more feminine then a girl, only then can we truly be spot on!
Through exaggeration we learn the moves, softness, and all the movement, just as in sports, techniques are refined way after the initial exaggerated moves of beginners.
And seemingly sitting still we are still having our sensuality working profusely on our girl.

As to our looks, and especially face, achievable perfection (term is an oxymoron ) is in the finest details, and so it needs multiple surgical and cosmetic procedures for the girls who picked up the torch bit late in life! It is the fact, and I cant wait till my next visit, in fact I already started to save for my next.

[kellycan27]

Seriously .. While I do agree that women come in all shapes, sizes, height's and width's, but does that really make someone feel better about their own issues? I get it, but personally I am thinking.. Thank Heavens it's not me! Just sayin.....

[Badtranny]

Seriously .. While I do agree that women come in all shapes, sizes, height's and width's, but does that really make someone feel better about their own issues? I get it, but personally I am thinking.. Thank Heavens it's not me! Just sayin.....

...and well said. ;-)

[kellycan27]

...and well said. ;-)

I got the impression that your thread was a vent, and not looking for a pat on the head. I know you're strong, and I know "this too shall pass". ( pun intended) Hang in there!

Kel

[Beverley Sims]

I feel sorry for you Melissa.
Walking into a bunch of art students and film makers is like standing in a circle of 13 year old girls.
People in film on the other hand are more critical and and are always looking for perfection.
I say they were right in saying that you looked great as a guy in a dress... That is what they saw
Only because you were dressed for the part and your larger frame and squarer features of your face.
You were wearing a costume as well and you get looked at critically to see if the costume works.
Yes it does work. You looked great.
I know it is a disappointment for you to have that perception from people "But they are in the art scene" and look out for people like you all the time.
The only solace you have is they DID like you and you looked good.
Hey! I'm downright ugly these days but I am not going through the pain you are.
Others I have seen transitioning have stringy hair, big frames, feet, tall, gangly and not likely to succeed in their journey.
A couple of others also wanted me to change my lifestyle, but I chose not to.
You on the other hand will soften more in features, already look great as a larger woman and please don't take my criticism to heart.
I may be treading where others fear to tread but you need to know that photo gives good balance between that girl and yourself.
If you want to vent you can pm me.I do not mean to be harsh but wanted to present an alternative view.
I don't think any one else has been as critical as I have been.
Don't feel upset about your progress I sometimes have to look critically in the mirror to see how I am getting on.
I like your present avatar and you do have a nice smile.:)

[Kate T]

Melissa

I find myself at times taking a somewhat different point of view to yourself. However I have to say I am truly sorry about what happened and apart from having a chance to vent it out I hope you haven't been too hurt by the experience. I truly hope that I would never be so thoughtless whilst trying to be so polite.

I genuinely thought you looked fantastic!

[LisaMallon]

It is so hard to judge yourself because your mental image is so clouded by your memories of looking more male. That's why you need an independent evaluation of some kind.

Melissa personally I think the gossip was about. Gossip: the only thing known to mankind that travels faster than the speed of light.
Probably along the lines of "shes... really, yes" and so on.
What you were wearing was about the most unkind thing (in terms of arms and shoulders) you could put on. Might have tipped the balance on what people thought.

Wearing something else and the conversation might have been "she's.... nah shes not, yes someone told me .. nah they're wrong". Or something like that.

Because your face is really lovely and (from what I've seen) the rest of your body is pretty nice. So I'd give it 90% gossip, 10% what you were wearing.

Go and find someone (ideally professional) to look you over, I'd think you would have no problems.

[Badtranny]

more pics from the set.

The one with me looking up is an unfortunate angle but alas, I think that's pretty much what I look like.

[LeaP]

It is so hard to judge yourself because your mental image is so clouded by your memories of looking more male. That's why you need an independent evaluation of some kind. ...

It's more than that, perhaps. I was listening to a story on NPR the other day about the relative happiness of Olympic medalists. The commentator is a behavioral researcher who has studied people's ability to evaluate themselves. It turns out that we have very little ability to critique ourselves objectively. Humans rely almost entirely on comparisons.

Gold medalists are thrilled. BRONZE medalists are thrilled. Silver medalists are not so happy. Turns out that bronze winners compare themselves against "all the chumps" (commentator's words) that didn't medal. Silver medalists see only the fact that they were beaten by the gold winner.

So the deck may be stacked against the poor trans woman, who simultaneously compares herself against a standard she feels she can't meet, as well as seeing the old male image, despite efforts to leave it behind. If the researcher is right, no assurance or actual progress will fully overcome the feelings of inadequacy from our own comparisons.

Still! And despite the above: Melissa, you look great in these pictures! Beyond cute. I don't see the body size or the shoulder width issues you do, at all. Your proportions are very much within norms and also very nice. True, the upward-looking shot isn't great, but it isn't because maleness is showing. It's because you've wrinkled your brow and exaggerated your chin because of the angle. Also, thick makeup like that doesn't show well close-up.

Thanks for posting this thread. Your courage continues to inspire. How many times have we read about someone who has been full-time for years but has never worn a dress? And here you are in an Alice costume, no less, and looking terrific!

(This response has been certified to be 99 44/100ths BS-free.)

[Inna]

Amazing, if the last picture is the worst angle you can come up with, then I can't wait for the brilliance of the best angle, and so far I believe I have seen few. Yes, there are masculine clues in the last pic, yes once you start analyzing it in critical detail, such as skin texture, geometry of certain upper jaw details too intricate to solve with cranio-facial surgery, and overall girth of neck, and as you point out, within rest of the body, taking it all under consideration only few months after Initial FFS, and short while on hormones, Girl.......you are a stunning woman, with bit of the boy still hanging on but soon to depart forever.
Taking care of the skin, creams, facial peals, moisturizing 6 times a day, using natural mineral based makeup, these things are a must, before going back to Lazaro with me for a lift and touch ups. And longer the hormones have the impact , the more feminizing occurs, time, often source of anguish and dread, but time is our friendly enemy, on one hand its never soon enough, on the other, i is never too late.

I will send you a PM on my post surgery secret........

[Beverley Sims]

Mmmm! The last shot Melissa is a girl.
Maybe that's what you look like. It works, no man there.
The other two just looking at them may only attract you to me to engage in conversation.
Over two days you are looking better all the time. I would like to see some earlier photos to guage your progress.
The one on the movie set posted earlier would have given me the same reaction as the others because of the environment.

[LisaMallon]

You look lovely there, beautiful smile. Nice hands (my bugbear). Seen a heck of a lot of GG's that look far more masculine.

I'll go with the gossip theory.

[Badtranny]

I would like to see some earlier photos to guage your progress.

As you wish ;-)

These are from about 08 - 09. I was already openly gay/bi but hadn't yet succumbed to my fem tendencies.

[Raquel June]

You think she meant that much earlier?

[Badtranny]

You think she meant that much earlier?

Oh, luckily I was organizing old pics today. These are all from 2010 the year I began to transition. I started HRT that summer I think, so these pics are all a few months after that.

[Lorileah]

I would say that is progress :)

[Beverley Sims]

Ok! Melissa, I can see where you came from in the first photo of post #53.
184784 the second pic shows me where you would be going. Certainly something to start with.
More recent pics 184786 in the towel is a nice warts and all shot. New washed hair etc. Looks good.
**87 by the bar looks elegant and **88 has a very nice smile. Lighting in all photos plays an integral part in their success.
184789 Just love the outfit and you look great. Just a bigger girl, that's all. Hey! nice legs.
I like 184747 from post#48 but 184746 with face painted is cute.
The more I look the more I see the fun girl in these photos and the vent you originally made was probably unnecessary but terribly theraputic.
There is progress and a softening of features there, but it is a waiting game.
Having looked at the photos closely I have got used to the girl, looked past the larger features, and concentrated on the killer smile.
I can only say in my own humble opinion as I have only had close experience with five people that have transitioned and there is a lot of experience out there.