Tempted

[Brenda79135]

My wife is bi-polarand is currently having problems with her meds. Normally she is tolerant of the dressing and lets it happen on occasion. With the imbalance of her meds she has become more accepting of the dressing. At this point in time, I know I could take advantage of her and push for more. I don't because I love her, but it is not easy knowing that I could. Working with the doctor on her meds have leveled her out some but not to where she needs to be. I'm constantly watching to make sure she is progressing toward balance. The biggest problem I have right now is that I feel jealous over the attention is is getting. Everything is about her and her problems and my feelings and needs are not even considered. I know that getting back on the balanced path is very important (we have been here before) but everytime she gets back to balance I lose some of the tolerance that I had. I am just venting since I'm not out to anyone other than my wife and needed to get this off my chest.

[noeleena]

Hi,.

After youv had to take care & watch help & know whats going on then you have meds changed many times as the shelf life is done, things thrown at you . & still love that person the same then , i think i understand after 34 years, plus 3,


...noeleena...

[Jolene Robertson]

Brenda, This is a great place to vent. I know some bi-polar individuals and what your wife needs is your understanding acceptance. Maybe if you could find a way to nurture her (like women do) then she could come to understand your feminine side as well. The life of a bi-polar is and always will be a roller-coaster ride for them and those around them, the meds get adjusted every now and then and it seems to start all over again.

Hugs
Jolene

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brenda, Don't ever let the pink fog get in the way of good judgement
your wife's health is the most important thindg in your life.

[BRANDYJ]

I've had some exposure to individuals with bi-polar disorder and one very bad experience with one person. So I understand how trying this is on you. You have my sympathy. The jealousy thing is what I can't understand on your part. Your wife's health and well being, both physically and mentally, should over-ride those feelings of jealousy over your need to cross dress. Some years ago, I was married and was faced with a wife battling cancer. For the 6 months from time of diagnosis to the day she died, nothing, and I mean nothing meant more to me then the hope of her recovery. Even my own very painful ruptured discs were completely blocked from my mind. I can honestly say I don't remember feeling the pain from them. needless to say, crossdressing was not even a pressing need or desire. The strength of your love for your wife and concern for her should be your biggest priority. I wish you and your wife well and hope you nurture and give her the care she needs.

[Cheryl T]

This IS about her. She's the one with the medical issues and you are the one "For Better Or Worse, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH".

[Claire Cook]

This IS about her. She's the one with the medical issues and you are the one "For Better Or Worse, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH".

IMHO Cheryl has nailed it here. Rather than dressing fully, try letting your empathetic femme side come out as Jolene has said. Maybe just underdressing will help?

[Brenda79135]

Thank you for your responses. I have been dealing with this for over 20 years now and it is starting to get old. Yes I know her health is very important to me, but also at the same time, I know my health is important. If I'm not healthy, how can I take care of her?

[Cheryl T]

Your physical health is important to taking care of her, but your desire to dress must be put on the back burner if she is to receive all your attention.
Yes, you feel overshadowed and left out with her getting all the attention. No one ever said it would be easy to live up to the marriage vows, but she is your wife and deserves all of your attention. This is not a competition! She is not doing this to get attention or take it from you.
If the tables were reversed do you think she would be upset at not getting the attention or would she rise to the task and spend all her energy taking care of you????

[Amy Fakley]

I can totally relate to what you're saying, Brenda.
My wife is bi-polar as well, and when we're in the thick of it, it just literally takes over everything, morning noon and night. It's like you're not even in a relationship anymore, you're in some sort of 24/7 endurance race to see just how many punches to the gut you can take. In my case, this is one of the reasons I've decided to stay closeted from my wife, at least for now ... I'm sort of just holding out hope that one day it will get better (as things were earlier in our relationship) .... and in my case it does seem to be getting better, slowly.

Depending on the legality in the state where you live and the risk you're willing to tolerate, your wife may want to seriously consider medical cannabis (responsibly, small doses,yadda yadda). In our case, the prescription medications weren't ever all that effective, and had horrible side effects ... since my wife started this about a year ago ... I can't say everything's better, but it's a huge improvement.

either way ... I hope things start looking up for you soon.
I'd be wary of pushing boundaries if you know your wife is unstable presently, in my experience that can backfire in an instant like someone flipping a lightswitch.

[5150 Girl]

Do get her meds balanced ASAP, However, in the mean time, I say enjoy the ride! Milk it for all it's worth!

[Brenda79135]

Mfakley Thank you for your support. My state does not have medical cannabis laws and in her currnet state I don't think she would even try. I think a day off would help. I plan to go motocycle riding this weekend if dhe appears to be level. Things are getting better (slowly) and it is making it easier to cope with. Thank you all.

[MarcyRex]

My wife also has a plethora of medical issues. Enough that I retired to care for her as hiring a nurse and/or PCA was going to swallow up my yearly salary. She started out intolerant, moved to DADT, and is now accepting. Her reasoning? I stuck by her and dealt with all her issues which was all about her. The dressing and letting out "marcy" is all about me. The least she could do is let me be who I am and express it. My efforts to look pretty are not reflective on her ability as a wife any more than my daughter's sense of fashion is indicative of her mothering skills. Now granted this was a longer road to acceptance than I wanted and there was boundary pushing back and forth but that happens in all relationships. We had our(her) rules for when I could dress, but this was one-sided until started putting rules on her in return. No pants for her because, you know, clothes change your gender preference/sexuality/ID. I wasn't going to be seen with a man. Silly immature logic rephrased to highlight source of arguments, but mostly it was her decision to realize I supported her, why could she not support me?