Does your family or close friends know about you crossdressing?

[KristyN]

So far only my stable girlfriend knows about me crossdressing. I'm 24 and I have been thinking about how telling friends about my CD habbit will impact my reputation. So now I will dress up and go out with my girlfriend when its 12am or something just window shopping or go to parks, because I don't want to accidently bump into friends. Also, telling my parents might make them worry or angry. How about you? Do you keep it as a secretly forever? Or did you tell your family or friends?

[a1stephie]

My wife knows. She first discovered me about 10 years ago, but we never really spoke about it properly until about two years ago when I finally could not keep it a taboo subject anymore. No one else, family or friends know. I have no immediate plans to tell them...however if they find out, I will have to deal with it - or rather, they will. It will be a true test of family bonds and how true friends are. My only concern in any of this would be if my kids found before I was ready to tell them. I would much rather the latter happen on my terms. I am sure my parents would not deal with it well, especially my mother. It is not something I particularly want to test at the moment, so maybe that is one secret I will keep from them forever.

[AllieSF]

I am out to the world, BUT not out to family, friends, and all the other male mode acquaintances. I see no reason to do that at the moment. Who knows what will happen in the future and I will deal with that then. In your case, only do what you think is best for you, and remember what you let out of the bag now cannot be stuffed back in later if you ever regret telling someone.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I'm out to one very close friend, I told her becuase, 1. I thought she'd be accepting, ( was she ever! ) 2. I hope that we'll be more than friends, and I couldn't keep that from her.

If we do start a relationship, I don't care (much) who else might stumble on it.

[Tracii G]

You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.
Go out with your GF and don't worry about getting caught.
If you do get seen well deal with it and see who your real friends are.
No sense in hiding and worrying thats no fun enjoy yourself.
My ex wife and I talk and she wanted a recent pic of me so I sent her one in my sort of male mode and she asked are you wearing girls jeans? I said yes.
She said well they look good on you they show that cute butt off.
She asked you going out tonight with friends? I said yes we are going to a drag show.Keep in mind she never knew of my femme side.
A DRAG show YOU? I replied yeah they are pretty cool I enjoy them.
The subject came back around "you ever dress in drag? Sure I have done it a few times and she said wow really that is pretty cool, you have a pic of you dressed up?
I sent her one and she said wow you sure are a cute woman.
That was it and she never called me a freak and pervert so I call that a win for me.You never know so if you feel the need to tell just drop small hints and let them ask you the questions.

[Noemi]

Hello Kristy,

Depends on how accepting they are.

I would not just tell anyone. Wait until there is a need to tell them, if you are presenting as female all the time or want to go full time. Otherwise keep it secret keep it safe...

♥
Noemi

[Silmaril]

My mother, my brother, and one of my two sisters know (my father is deceased). My brother & mother I did not tell, per se; my mother found a video I had made. She shared it with my brother, seeking his opinion (my brother is gay; I guess my mom assumed he'd have insight). The sister who knows is the only person I have ever outright told; ironically, she already knew. Many years prior, she had found the same video (apparently I wasn't as clever about hiding it as I'd thought), but had never said anything about it. She and I are very close, and I wanted her to know.

I am glad they know. They are accepting (although I don't expose them to it; my CD'ing is private), and while I can't say they necessarily understand it (I'm not sure ever *I* understand it!), I have had several detailed discussions with each of them. It has been a relief to have someone to talk to on occasion (other than a therapist; I *have* told therapists in the past, but then again, that's kind of the point in going to therapy).

I have never told any friends. Like I said, it's private, and I think there's no "need to know" as it were. Some I feel certain would be unfazed, and we could probably talk openly; others I'm not sure would be able to handle it. I think even the proudest, most open CDers on this site would concede that cross-dressing is certainly far from the norm, so I can't hold it against anyone if it's just a bit more than they can get their head around. My need to share has never been so great that I thought it was worth putting valuable friends in an awkward situation.

One past SO knows; I told her, but not willingly. A counselor gently pushed me (it was probably the right decision). She had a very difficult time with it (although it had nothing to do with our eventually separating). My current SO & I are in the process of returning to being just friends. It's a very sad thing for me, but "it is what it is." She does not know that CD'ing has been part of my past (I have not been "practicing" while we have been together), but the dissolving of our romantic relationship has left her as my closest friend, and I find myself wanting to share that with her.

You are *tremendously* fortunate to have an accepting SO. This site has lots of excellent advice on how to treat someone so special. I encourage you to read it.

As far as telling family goes, if they didn't know already, I would probably tell the members I am closest to. I can tell you that it has been very reaffirming that their knowledge of my CDing has had no affect on their love for me, and it's been something we can even joke about. I encourage sharing it with family members you are close to and trust; friends I think are another matter, and I would be very cautious about that. But that's just my opinion, of course.

[Brittany CD]

Some friends know, the family does not

[Katie83]

My wife knows i dress, but she is not happy about it, she doesn't want to see it etc. She is the only person i've told. I've been to fancy dress (costume) parties dressed as Katie, so i think some of my more observant female friends may suspect i dress more than once a year, i've been asked on more than one occasion if i'm wearing mascara when i'd dressed the previous evening. I also keep my eyebrows neatly plucked so that is a bit of a give away. They have never directly asked me if i cd regularly, so i haven't told them. I think my sister may suspect that i dress too, from when we were little. But again nothing has been confirmed. I have no intention of ever telling my parents though. I don't think either of them would take it well, but my mother would possibly be more accepting.
Katie

[Beverley Sims]

The wife and a bunch of acquaintances.
Not close family and friends tho.

[joan47]

my wife, three sister inlaws, a neice, a couple of girls at works some sales associates, and oh yes I went in feme to my last high school reunion, small class of about 25 in New Hope Pa. where I grew up.

[kristinacd55]

Wife found out 5 years ago....followed by my sister in law last summer, then my 2 daughters, and then my other sister in law and my 3 nieces, and now other people know as well....once the genie's out of the bottle there's no puttin that stopper back in!

[bridget thronton]

My wife knows, my adult children and their spouse's know, 4 close female friends know (the rest are all strangers to me)

[Alice B]

My wife, our kids and grandkids from both sides, several of their friends and a select few of our friends know. Have not told my close lifetime friends yet, but the time is coming. I'm older, so it is easier to not worrw about what they will say. But, I 've found that it is no big deal to everyone that has been told. It is all about yoiur own comfort zone and not someone elses.

[Rachel Renee]

I've told my closest friends and the people I work with. It was getting harder and harder to hide it, considering the physical changes that I have made this year, and more are on the way. I figured the time had come to officially come out of the closet because I just couldn't continue hiding. I want to own this. I've gotten nothing but support, encouragement, and even a high-five.

[KlaireLarnia]

MY wife, brother and sister-in-law are fully aware of what I do, why and what my reasons are for it. My daughter kind-of knows, I say that as she does see me in some female clothes but does not fully understand why or what it actually means (What I wear when she is around is basic female clothes which do not scream out "I belong on a woman not a man" if that makes sense).

AT least 2 of my wife's friends have seen me with nail polish on when I forgot to remove it and in truth I would prefer it if a few knew but that is something for my wife to decide and not me. Had my parent's still been alive they would have been told in full by now but sadly it is a conversation I cannot have with them any more (a serious regret there believe me).

Without my & daughter knowing I would probably have lost it by now, at least I have some freedom in my home thanks to them.

[Michaela42]

Out to my Mother (she would have to know, right?) and to one of my Aunt's. Two other cousins knew, but I do not talk to them much so who knows if they still remember. I was busted by some really great coworkers a few years back but we did not stay in touch. That's it.

[Erina]

My sister knows
She really doesn't care, it is my personal life. I thought to myself that this is never going to go away before I said it. Didn't get a bad response from her. Thought it would change her opinion of me, but she seem to keep see me as the same little brother she always had.

[Billie Jean]

My ex wife knows, we are still friends. Both my daughters have seen me dresded. Billie Jean

[sissystephanie]

My late wife knew that I was a crossdresser before we married. Our two children did not know until after she passed away. They have never seen me dressed and don't want to!! I also have a dear lady friend in Scotland who knows that I crossdress, but has also never seen me dressed. She is married and her husband, who is also my friend, does not know about my crossdressing.

[audreyinalbany]

my wife has known for a long time, but she's not much more accepting than when she first found out. My sister knows-- she's a social worker so she's kind of professionally obligated to be cool about it. ONe of my wife's girl friends knows-- we've talked about it once or twice int he past, but generally try to avoid the subject. Thats' about it

[krissy]

My exwife knew and told all my male friends after divorce i was mechanic so you know how that went over.My current wife knows but cant stand it at all .even though she was in a lesbian relationship and knew about me .hell even bought me stuff but one day said never wanted to see that part of me again im still married to her but now i dress for my happyness. lifes too short not to enjoy it:cheer:

[Cynthia Anne]

Every one who knows and sees me knows that I live my life to please myself! Sure has weeded out so-called friends and some family members too!!

[STACY B]

Some people know ,,But if you see me walking out in Public yull figure it out ,,, Can't hide it ,,,Mite as well divide it ,,,lol,,, Girls are pretty cool cuz we have alot in common ,,The guys ,,, They gotta put up the ol front ya know,,Makes um feel better ,, Been around an back twice an its way better here than where I was . Atleast Im sane ,, Well Kinda ,,, Well at least I'M Doing what I WANT ,,, Sane part was a joke yall know better ,,Lost my head ...lol...

[brenne]

My daughter knows - taken some time but she's amazingly cool about it. :)

(My partner knows too, of course...)

[Sally24]

My wife has always known. Both my grown kids know. Every one of us has told their best friend.All of my wifes siblings also know. If anyone else finds out accidently I really don't care. I'm comfortable with who I am.

[KristyN]

I'm older, so it is easier to not worrw about what they will say. But, I 've found that it is no big deal to everyone that has been told. It is all about yoiur own comfort zone and not someone elses.

I agree with this, and I think maybe as I get older I will care less about what others has to say.

[KristyN]

I have no intention of ever telling my parents though. I don't think either of them would take it well, but my mother would possibly be more accepting.
Katie

I have the same feeling that my parents will probably have a very hard time accepting it, as a lots of crossdressers develope the habbit of CDing when they were young, maybe my parents will wondered what did they do to me. Although family support is always nice tho.

[kristinacd55]

I have the same feeling that my parents will probably have a very hard time accepting it, as a lots of crossdressers develope the habbit of CDing when they were young, maybe my parents will wondered what did they do to me. Although family support is always nice tho.

My dad is 92, and the only one left out of my wife's and my parents. At this point, I don't feel the need for him to know. Also, a group of guy's I go skiing with every year for the last 21 years, and play golf don't know either.

[Wildaboutheels]

There are people at this Forum who insist that SOs should know.

They are WRONG.

UNLESS maybe they have some magical power that enables them to predict precisely how every single Human on the planet will "respond"???

Telling ANYone involves risk in losing/ruining your Relationship with them forever. Yes, they MIGHT be perfectly accepting but is it worth the risk IF THEY DO NOT NEED TO KNOW?

My SO knows but she can only bark and wag her tail so I am entirely comfortable with her knowing. And she has never complained either.

[ninapuella]

Noone knows. Not even myself.

But I have posted pictures on the internet and I dont know how much recognizable I am. But I dont care because I know it is not a crime to be a crossdresser.

[girlygirly]

I have one close friend who knows, but if anyone else knows or thinks they know, I haven't acknowledged it to them and don't plan on doing so. It's none of their business, and I don't have the time to get worried about being judged by those who I probably see too often for me to throw this into the mix. I can get all of that I need if I want to just by pushing the envelope too far when I go out in public.

[Amy R Lynn]

I have only told one close friend about it. I knew that she would be very accepting. I didn't anticipate how excited she was about it. We have plans to go out and have a girls day together. We are both looking forward to it.

For me this is something that I keep a secret. I have no plans on telling my family. However, I suspect that my Mom may know. I honestly just don't think there is any reason to tell anyone else, save one person.

I am planning on telling the girl that I have been seeing about Amy. I don't want to continue on in my relationhip with her unless she knows. I don't like keeping secrets from a potential SO. So..... wish me luck! You know I'll be posting the results on here when it happens.

[valeriemonroe2002]

I told my wife while we were dating. I felt that it wouldn't be fair to her if I didn't tell her before we married. She is pretty accepting. The only other person I have told is a female friend, the wife of my closest male friend. Truth be told, I am sure she had her suspicions prior to my telling her. She is also very accepting.

[psion128]

Well, it is a private issue since it is still considered by most "taboo". The only ones are one of my friends, sister and my ex. The friend is very supportive and wants to go shopping with me. My sister hates it and calls me names accuses me of all sorts of stranger things. My Ex, she is finally comfortable with it and this is after our break up. CDing was part of the reason why we broke up. >.<

As of now, I believe my Mom suspects but oh well. She hasn't mentioned anything on it. The rest of my family doesn't know and its pretty much only a few insiders that know about it. If it wasn't so taboo I would let my friends and family know.
:(

[KristyN]

I have only told one close friend about it. I knew that she would be very accepting. I didn't anticipate how excited she was about it. We have plans to go out and have a girls day together. We are both looking forward to it.

For me this is something that I keep a secret. I have no plans on telling my family. However, I suspect that my Mom may know. I honestly just don't think there is any reason to tell anyone else, save one person.

I am planning on telling the girl that I have been seeing about Amy. I don't want to continue on in my relationhip with her unless she knows. I don't like keeping secrets from a potential SO. So..... wish me luck! You know I'll be posting the results on here when it happens.

Good luck Amy with your potential SO

[Rachel Morley]

My wife knows (and participates), my step-son knows and tolerates, my sister-in-law knows and participated before she moved to Florida, some of my wife's GG friends know and are tolerant, I think some of my step-sons friends know but I don't what they think. .... BUT ..... none of my family (Mom, Dad, Bother etc) know. It's this way because they live 5,000 miles away and so are not really in my life like my wife's side is so I don't think it's important to tell them. I don't have any non-TG guy friends so there's no one to tell there either. I tell a fairly close GG friend one time before I was married, it don't go down too well. I would describe her attitude as "reluctantly ok" about it. Be very careful who and how you tell people. It can make a difference to how they see you from that point on.

[Nichola]

I can't imagine telling my friends or family, I think I'd be disowned:sad: & if my workmates found out I'm sure they'd make my life hell.

[Jane-C]

My SO knows and I am one of the very lucky ones as she is very supportive, there are boundaries but that’s fine. Both my parents are deceased but my farther knew. When I was very young around 13 I used to keep a stash of undies, panty hose and a leotard in a cloth draw string bag hidden under my bed at my Dad’s house (my parents were divorced then) I returned from boarding school for the holidays once and to my horror the bag was right in the middle of my bed! My Dad said “Nanny found your toys” he never mentioned it again but my G.d was I embarrassed. I have an older sister who knows but has never seen me dressed, although she did used to let me do my laundry at her place when I was living in a commune. If it weren’t for the negative repercussions on my SO I’ve got to the point when it no longer matters who knows but if it were to become common knowledge it would hurt her as the staff would loose respect for her so half in half out I remain :)

Jane
(Sheer-Bliss)

[Joanne Curl]

My wife of 15 years found out a year ago. She never knew and I always found reasons not to tell her. It has changed our relationship. She doesn't trust me anymore and although she's learned as much as she can about cross dressing and knows I'm not gay, she's not Ok with it. She specifiaclly doesn't ask about it but she knows I still cross dress. Anything she has asked I am truthful about and have told her I am and always will be a cross dresser. I don't think she'll ever be supportive of it. I can only hope time will help. I'll always feel guilty about not giving her the choice to accept it or not before we made a committment to each other.

[Kassandra56]

My wife has known almost since the day we met and is very accepting of Kassandra. After considering how each would react individually I've discussed my cross-dressing with a few female friends over the years and so far have a 100% success rate with guessing who would be fine with it, a couple of them communicate via email as a girlfriends to Kassandra's account which can be interesting. My son does no know and unless if ever finds out I currently have no plans of opening up the topic, he sees me as his father and I see no reason to complicate that situation. Parents, only one living now have no idea and my father would probably take it very badly because it's not something he would understand. I think it's different for everyone and you have to make your own decision on who to tell and why.

[rebeca_abigail30]

My mom and wife knows, and I told one of my coworkers who I extremely trusted. I'm in the military and close to retirement, so I don't want to screw that up. Wife says as long as she and the kids don't see it, whatever. Who knows, maybe after retirement and the kids have moved away, then maybe. (A gurl can dream, right?)

[PretzelGirl]

There are three limiting factors to me. One is that I won't tell anyone unless I can do it face to face. That may change in the long run, but I live by it now. Second is that I don't bring it out at work. It might come on its own, but I won't force it. The last was just broken and that is a desire by one family member that in-laws don't get told. Two weeks ago, that family member asked if she could go ahead and tell one of my nieces and I let her go ahead. I suspect more in-laws will know in due time.

So my wife has always known and supported me greatly (she has a transgender tattoo). My two daughters, son-in-law, and future son-in-law know and are very supportive. My son doesn't because he lives on the other coast. Rule #1 applies to him even more so because he is my son. I have many friends that know but my friends from years past don't because they aren't in Utah (see rule #1 again).

To this point, everyone has been completely accepting. I haven't even received anything that amounts to a shrug. I can't exactly pin point why. Is it because I try and treat everyone well (at least I think I do)? Is it self acceptance? Is it the friends I pick to tell (you don't pick a lot of your relatives though)? Because when I tell I present it positively? That last one is why I don't like answering are you gay and are you transitioning questions before they are asked as it tends to tilt towards negative thoughts when coming out. Not because either is negative, but when coming out, if you answer those questions before they are asked, then you make it seem negative like you are getting defensive.

Oh my day is coming. I have one very bigoted in-law and he will either internalize it because we get along or he will isolate or who knows, maybe he will surprise me. We shall see. I think it will be the first.

[Annaliese2010]

Yep, some. It doesnt matter, no big deal. What is any more today? Everything's out. Theres nothing new under the sun (ho hum..).

[Sarah27]

My Psychiatrist was first at 22, older brother was next took it great and was relieved cause I had been very depressed for many years. Mom was next took it horribly, didn't want to talk about it for years. Then random acquaintances and friends through the years always took it well. I told 4 girlfriends, all were fine with it, lived with one after telling her for a year before breaking up with her. Then told my younger brother, he said "I accept it but don't understand it". Then my dad... he was the one to always make fun of people and say they were all gay, it took me years of unbrainwashing him, faking that I was talking about someone else to make him realize the truth that cds and tgs are mostly hetero, then I told him and he's fine with it, actually more so than when I told him that I don't believe in God years before. Sorry for the long post.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kristi, Only my wife and a few thousand friends on this forun know about Orchid.

[jaqueline1]

only a few close friends know about jaqueline mostly girls i was friends with. my parents on the other hand and family members are strictly anti transexual, crossdresser etc. i wish they were more like my friends. i'll only tell them when i move out before my 21st birthday........

[Cam]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones, my family and mosy of my friends know how I dress and all are accepting. My wife was slow to understand but over the last 25 years has come to understand that just because I wear panties and skirts does not mean that I am gay. Once ahe understood that, she accepted it.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I am out to my brother but have yet to tell my sister (For reasons that I still haven't figured out.) I am out to several friends - mostly women. I am also out to a support group for those with ostomies and went to a meeting dressed last year.

[Katrina_E]

I've never told anyone: if I told my wife now it I feel it would be such a big thing as I've kept it hidden for so long. I now wish I'd told her years ago.............

[Vickie_CDTV]

My mother and father know, I told them in my late teens. I was living with them and had such a lack of privacy, I figured they might know already (no, one had a clue, whoops) or might find out in the future. None of my large extended family (on either side) not know I dress.

All my friends (cis and trans) know I am a TV.

[ronda]

my sister and her daughter know one close friend and my wife knew but she has passed away been thinking about letting that cat out of the bag but have not done that yet Hugs Ronda

[Marcia Blue]

I will name those that I have told or have found out about Marcia, in the order they found out or were told.
My mom caught me in during High School, never really talked about it, but often would tell me "You have the house to yourself, have fun , but stay in the house".
My ex-wife seemed to have figured out on her own. She is bipolar, and she went from full acceptance to total rejection, with the changing weather. My wife has only totally known for about three years of our 28 year marriage. She is supportive as she can be. My brother's ex-wifes, mother and step-dad. The step-dad is a member of my CD social/support group. Two of my three sons have known for about a year. The youngest is TG/CD also. The middle son, has even gone out with me, during a GNO. My wife has warned me not to tell the oldest, no reason has been forth coming. My best male friend from high school and his wife. Both very accepting. The most recent, my middle son's fiancé. She has male friend from high school who is TG/CD.

[JaySAT]

My fiancee learned early on in our relationship, and while she hasn't seen me fully dressed, she is supportive. When shopping for clothes for her, she'll playfully make suggestions for me as well. We're right about 1 size off from each other (I'm a size smaller) and she has discussed the idea of buying things for me when she's shopping alone.

Aside from that, my sister and my best friend know. The rest of my family knows I wear support pantyhose for a medical condition but they don't know about anything beyond that.

[kimdl93]

Its different in every case. Some people are open minded and have enough life experience to realize that each of us is different...others are more rigid in their thinking. But people will surprise you. Seemingly open-minded and accepting people may accept in strangers but distance themselves from closer acquaintances...and some very conservative people may accept in a loved one, things they generally object to in others. In then end I would pursue a need to know policy. You have a right to live your private life without hiding at home till12 am. So tell the friends you most trust and avoid those that you don't. As for family, the question is the same...if its likely that theyll bump into you, dont deny a basic part of yourself. tell those who need to know.

[cindybabe]

Just my wife, told her before we got marriage, an ex girlfriend and the girls on this forum.
Dont really want any close friends or family to know as you never know how they will react.

[clairebostock]

Hi Kristy
well my wife,mother.brother and my sister know i crossdress and in the last few weeks i told a friend and his wife that i dress and another friend and althrough most do not want to see me dressed, they say thats fine and it's upto me what and how i live my life.

hugs Claire

[Heisthebride]

Family - parents were aware (now deceased) they discovered back when I was in high school. They were confused as was I at the time.

Wife - I told her about it three months into our dating. She was accepting and slowly grew to be more more and more comfortable. We have now been out in public together a few times.

Friends - two different groups. The friends from forever, some would be fine with it others not so much so I choose not to bother them with it as it would get around and why make some of them uncomfortable.

I have made new friends thorough a local burlesque dance class and they all know about it. It much easier to discuss with people who have no history or expectations. I continue on with classes, have traveled with them to Vegas, one night en femme, and will go out with then in both boy and girl mode.

[Melissa.Lynn88]

My girlfriend and my mother know. I told my girlfriend about a year ago and my mother a few months ago. My girlfriend sees me dressed up a lot but my mom has not, she just knows about it.

[tonixd]

Out, out and about baby!
I've told everyone. I mean, it's not hard to tell people when you're in a mini and heels ;)

[aly01]

No one knows, well other than wife, but doesn't like it.

[sometimes_miss]

Mom and sister know; I told them because my ex wife was going to when we were getting divorced, and I wanted to try to tell them in the least shocking way. Didn't work anyway; mom just doesn't get it, and blames the whole thing on the guy who molested me, ignoring the fact that she didn't pay any attention to what was going on with me when I was a kid. My older sister was kind of shocked when I told her; I can only guess she feels partially responsible because it was her best friends brother that was putting it to me for seven years, and she obviously had no idea what was going on. I don't know how she feels about it; she hated me as a kid and never seemed to change. Both of them ignore it; mother disparagingly remarks 'are you still doing that?' if I ever mention anything about it, and my sister changes the subject immediately. Neither contacts me unless they need something, and conversations remain either one word, or short answer only.
The few friends I told slowly distanced themselves from me until I never heard from them again.
There were no positive responses. I gained two friends at work, both female gay, and both sort of insisted that I was gay but just in denial.
Again, no positive responses at all.
I haven't told anyone else since then; there doesn't seem to be any point to it.

[Jennifer in CO]

the short answer is yes and no...
As posted numerous times in other threads, my aunt who created Jennifer knew when I was 10, my Grand Parents knew when I was 14, and Mom knew but never said a word. I told my girlfriend when it looked like it was getting serious because I wasn't going to keep Jennifer locked in a closet and all she said was "so long as I didn't want to BE a girl" she was fine...course 3 years later she was assisting (pushing) in my transition but I get ahead of myself. I've posted before about the whys of my transition and through that time all of the family and friends were told. What I found amazing was the ones I thought would be supportive weren't and the ones I thought would go screaming the other way were my greatest supporters. When I transitioned back, there was no change. What most of them don't know is that Jennifer still exists today....

Jenn

[Sarah-Ann]

My SO knows, she knew before we got together. We met online, and of course phone conversations ensued. During the course of one conversation I wanted to be honest with her, so there were no surprises, and asked her if she had a problem with men in women's clothing, she asked what I meant, and I explained to her that I wore women's clothing sometimes. She was ok with it. When we met it wasn't really brought up, but after some short time together she asked me to wear her panties and a t-shirt to sleep in, I loved this request, ( this is how I normally sleep). Since then I have acquired my own underwear drawer, with bras and panties. She has no problems with it, and encourages me to be me. She even loves when we do our nails together, and do other "girly" things together. I don't have much female outerwear, as my job, and the town I live in wouldn't really be too accepting of it, but she is encouraging me to get some if only for around the house. I love her for being so supportive of me. The only thing she worries about is that I will want transition fully, and she isn't sure how she would feel about that, but we are keeping everything open and discussing things as they come up.

My Sisters, both older and younger know, and they both support and encourage me fully. I told my older sister one night as I took her out to dinner, and explained that I was bisexual, and she was ok with it, so I thought I'd go for it, and I told her I dress as a woman, and she was so pleased she wanted to go shopping right after dinner lol. She told my younger sister, who told me that she was ok with it, and supported me completely as well. My mother knows, and has given me the usual mother response, " I love you no matter what", lol. She is accepting, but I don't know how she would feel seeing me en femme. I recently was talking with my Aunt via Facebook,(she and I are pretty close), so I thought I may as well come out to her. I told her first that I was bisexual, and then I was transgender. She shocked me, she told me that she figured I was transgendered, but was surprised I was bisexual, although it didn't bother her. I asked how she figured I was transgender, and she told me that the 2 months I was staying at her house, she saw panties and bras in my laundry a few times. She said it didn't bother her, and she didn't say anything so I wouldn't be embarrassed. She also told me that anytime I wanted to come stay with her, I could, in any form I liked. She asked why I didn't tell her before, and I said that I was too embarrassed to do so, she then told me had I come to her before when I was staying with her, she and her 2 daughters, ( one of which is a hair stylist, and the other a very "girly" girl), would have loved to have helped me be more femme. I sort of kick myself for that now lol.

I feel blessed to have friends and family who are so accepting of me, but I do know that just as many of them are not, or would not be. By now, I don't fret over them, I simply do what I want, and if they don't like it, they can go away.

Sarah ^_^

[Jess6887]

My mum knows I do but It has been while since she has seen me dressed, so she may think I have stopped but I haven't and cant really tell anyone else that I do, just have a reputation to uphold, But I love dressing up and being girly

[Keliegh]

Sorry to hear your wife is not happy with it.

[May(be)]

My wife and I are telling her brother together so she has someone to talk to about it. Wish us luck!

[cathie pantyhose]

wife found out a couple of years ago and of course was not pleased but always knew I had a thing for pantyhose. She has sensed moved from the topic and we are still very happily married going on 15 years now but only asked that I dont in front of her and the kids. Ex wife walked in while I was dressed one time but was also willing to stay in the marriage. I decided to leave anyway to marry the current. Go figure. Two others knew. One gf I had on the side during the first marriage who loved it, and a bf (also on the side during first marriage) who also loved it that I dressed up. Almost told my best friend the other day while at a bb game but decided it wasn't worth the time.

[Jeannie]

To the best of my knowledge only my wife knows or at least seen me as Jeannie. I almost got caught by my teenage grandson one time and I mean it was a very close call. I wish I could tell my friends but even though they are my friends I don't think I can trust them with a secret like this. It's just to scary for me.

[becky77]

Only my wife and therapist know.

[KristyN]

Thank you everyone for putting in your individual comments on this topic. I do see that admitting to family and friends can be a controversial subject with the social norms that we live in. So I am quite close for my parents; considering that there are very few secrets between us, so I decided to tell them recently. They were definitely both in shock, but I was lucky enough to have my gf by my side to explain the psychological view on crossdressers. At first they were understanding, so we sent them two references to get a better grasp on the subject; the development portion of how this starts in a cd, and another describing how this affects the person's life when an adult.

A couple of days later, they were asking me to get help. So going back and forth about how this affects me, another week went by and we decided that up to this point, to not bring it up in conversation. Kind of tough to say if it was really worth admitting. We still continue to have normal conversations, which is a plus. :)

As for telling friends, I'm going to hold off. It is hard to explain to others if this act is a preference or to be considered a fetish - this is the one that will freak people out.

[Camille15]

Only my wife knows, plus some household animals. I told my wife almost 3 months ago, 7 years into our marriage. She is a very open-minded person, and is OK with me doing it, though prefers not to see me dressed (which is fine).

I would never tell anyone else, as I am too afraid of the reaction, and how I would be treated after that. Mostly I'm worried that it could somehow affect my career, and therefore my career aspirations and ability to support my family. I'm even too nervous to post a picture of me on this site, lest somehow somebody recognize me, or distribute the photo!

[Emily359]

I told my first girlfriend before things got serious, because I wanted her to love the real me. We broke up a few weeks later, but remained close friends. Since then, I've told just almost every new friend I've made (which is not a huge number, being the shy person I am), and I have not had anyone react negatively. Not one person.

My profile on a dating site is very open because I want my next girlfriend to know about me from the start instead of finding out after she's already formed an idea of who I am.

As for family, I haven't told anyone. I will tell me brother at some point, but the fact that he is the most important person in the world to me makes me worry about losing him, even though I'm 90% sure he'll be fine with it. I don't think I'll tell my parents or grandparents. As much as I wish they could know me, it seems like it's too late to spring something like this on them and change their whole perception of me.

[Kelli<3]

Only my wife knows. I'd like to be able to tell someone but I know I'm not ready for that yet. I know my wife would like to tell someone so she could have someone to talk to about it other than me. I understand her perspective and I know it bothers her that she can't discuss it with her best friend who she shares everything with. Her best friend is probably the last person I'd want her to tell because I'm really good friends with her husband and I don't know how he'd react. Even if he is ok with it I think it would at least change how he sees me and ultimately affect our friendship.

I suggested possibly telling my wife's sister because I think she may be more open and possibly understanding. She actively supports the LGBT community and has many gay friends but I'm not sure she knows anyone like me. She has also known me for almost 15 years so I'm sure it would at least be a shock.

Now let me step back into my closet where I am the most comfortable...

[Julia Stevens]

My partner and a few friends know, 5 female friends and 1 male friend. My partner seems to be mostly accepting, although sometimes I think she is worried how far it will go. She often sees me crossdressed at home. 2 of my female friends have seen me dressed, and are fine with it. Another has seen photos and is also fine. I ocassionally go to one of these female friends houses and I spend the afternoon with her crossdressed, so I suppose you could say it has entered my wider social life in a small way.

Some friends male and female that I have told in the past I no longer see. I told one of oldest male friends some years ago. He wasn't very happy to hear it. We have not talked about it since. I am thinking about telling other people that I think will be OK. I feel much more comfortable with telling women about it than I do about telling men.

[BRANDYJ]

How about you? Do you keep it as a secretly forever? Or did you tell your family or friends?

When I was your age, the only one that knew was my then girlfriend. No way would I have ever told another living soul. Keep in mind, there was no Internet and readily available information about gender issues or just crossdressing.
I have been married 3 times. The only wife that never knew was my first. ( married way to young and divorced in 5 years.) Since then, I've told my SO's and a close trusted friends; mostly female. So far the only bad reaction I have faced was my older brother. He is one of those so called born again Christians that goes over board with his religion and has become very intolerant. Up until recently, we have not communicated with each other for close to 5 years. We have mended the fences and he knows better then to push his beliefs on my face. He is almost human again.
I would suggest you know, or have a good idea, of how anyone you feel you have to tell will react and how they feel about any alternate lifestyles. The only mistake in judgement about who I've told, was the one brother. Well over a dozen friends accepted it and if anything, our bond has become closer and better.