Crossdressing – YES or NO?

[Frédérique]

“They’ve already said YES to it.” (from The Shock of the New by Robert Hughes)

The world is divided into two camps – the ones who say YES to crossdressing, and the ones who say NO to crossdressing. Needless to say, the latter far outnumber the former, and the ones who say YES to crossdressing are constantly being persuaded to say NO to something they either love or want to love...

Of course, I said YES to crossdressing many years ago, exactly five seconds after I fastened a skirt around my waist and felt the air caress my semi-virgin knees. From that moment on, I have said YES to the physical act of crossdressing, the feelings it provides, and the euphoria I get from just being completely unlike those who say NO. Why be negative when you can be positive? Why say NO to urges that originate deep inside one’s soul? Why say NO to whom you are, or who you want to be, when you can say YES and enjoy life on your own terms? Why, indeed...

I know, it’s not easy to say YES to crossdressing when nearly everyone says NO to it for one reason or another. NO!!! is being screamed at you from all sides 24/7. Other males, otherwise known as your peers, say NO without thinking too much about it. They want you to be as strong as they are, so why are you willfully upsetting masculinity? Females say NO without thinking, too. Do they feel threatened or insulted in some way? Surely you’re joking, right? Once again you’re upsetting the gender-specific boundaries almost everyone has bought in to, reinforced in the media ad nauseum as you struggle to find acceptance in an increasingly hostile world...

Of course, outsiders say YES to crossdressing when it’s served up as entertainment – by laughing at crossdressing they’re saying NO to it, getting a chuckle out of it at your expense. Oh, how hilarious it all is, especially when exaggerated “performances” are put forth as the accepted “face” of crossdressing! Where will it end? You, a minority of a minority, are trying to say YES to your beloved dressing-up, but the whole world is saying NO in no uncertain terms. At times like this it feels like you’re immersed in a water bath, slowly being equalized with your negative surroundings. They want you to say NO, for their benefit, but you are stubborn and determined to say YES all the while...

You find a site like this one, where you can finally find other true individuals who have learned to say YES with aplomb, and somehow keep the NO world at bay. You feel relief, but something is not quite right in more ways than one. Looking around, you find many people who are either trying to say YES consistently, or they are in the process of saying NO and joining normalcy for good. Those who purge are trying to say NO, but they really want to say YES and hang on to their precious crossdressing. The wife, the SO, your friends, your family, and your co-workers all want you to say NO, and they’ll be happy when you do so. Is it worth throwing your “self” away to make everyone else happy? How can you say NO and be truly happy with yourself?

I suppose that many people are stuck between YES and NO, and they would really rather not have to make decisions in line with socially correct polar opposites. Some don’t have a choice, but for a typical CD like me, it’s wonderful to say YES each and every day to the natural urge to crossdress. I survive by simply limiting my exposure to those who insist on saying NO to crossdressing. In my mind, they cannot appreciate something as positive and life-affirming as putting on a dress and getting in touch with things that males are not supposed to experience. In a huge way, crossdressing itself is like saying YES to genuine existence, and NO to a life of drab expectation – if I look into my closet of goodies and say NO, I am effectively saying NO to myself and all that I can be. How can that possibly be a good thing?

Are you saying YES to crossdressing, or are you trying to say NO to it? :thinking:

[Mollyanne]

I say ----yes yes yes to my crossdressing because i like it, actually i love it!!!!!! Whenever i am dressed which btw is almost all the time now i feel that i am "giving birth" to the female who lives inside of me.

Molly

[STACY B]

At first some of us say yes just because the others say no ? Going against the grain ,,A Rebel if you will ? Or maybe just dont care ,, But no longer will I give my POWER to someone else an let them lead me around on a string . There are plenty of others they can do that to ,, But not this ol fat girl , So the more they say No the more I say Yes ,,,,,,,, :devil:

[deebra]

Of course I say YES to crossdressing, I have been doing it for so many years it's just normal to step into a pair of nylon bikinni panties every morning and enjoy the feel and look and pleasure of having them on. Pulling on a pair of fairly tight bootcut girl jeans over the panties and wearing them all day gives me that soft feminine feeling and especially when I pass other young women knowing we are both dressed the same way. It almost feels like I am crossdressing when I put on my one pair of male undies when I go to the Doc., as soon as I get home, off they come. What else in your life over a long period of time has brought so much continuing pleasure every time you dress to what ever degree. I know women buy clothes to look pretty, but after doing the routine daily for their entire life I think crossdressers get more pleasure out of dressing in female clothing than gg's do. In one way of looking at crossdressing the cd'er gets more pleasure out of this part of life moreso than the female that has been doing it every day and the male that has never done it. So if you can integrate something in your life that brings you more pleasure than everybody else, it just makes good sense to crossdress, the others don't know what they are missing.

[TeresaL]

Very good thread for me anyway. From adolescence to late twenties, I was in denial, kept it hidden, and manned up. I went into the military, became an MP/SP and had arrest authority over most men in the service. I was a strong arm, and no one would or could suspect that the CD gene was in me. I Said NO, but at the right moment, usually on leave, would say YES.

Four years later came the honorable discharge, then a marriage. I was figuring having a bride would resolve my propensity to dress in lady's attire. I said NO, then yes and repeated that cycle again and again throughout that short marriage. A year later, in 1971, her life was taken in a terrible automobile accident. It was on her birthday, and she was driving into town to pick out some things for the house when a car in the head-on lane crossed the median and killed her instantly. She was six months pregnant, and they tried to save our baby at the scene, but were unsuccessful. She never knew I was saying NO in my mind but would break down and do it.

Still saying NO, I remarried and carried the burden of hiding and denying the idea that I was a cross dresser. As most of the readers here know, marriage does not stop it no matter how much we may say NO. Twenty years later, I got found out when my wife was away on a vacation and left me with our teen age daughter. After she went to bed, I locked my bedroom door and put makeup and clothing on. Unfortunately, she woke up, came downstairs, and knocked on my door while I was dressed and madeup. I couldn't, wouldn't let her in. She got scared and called her grandmother. I admitted to crossdressing. Believing my behavior could be cured, we searched for help to eliminate the transvestite in me. I was saying NO!

All the king's men and all the king's horses could not put the man who had a great fall back together again. Many tried, all failed. Now it's today, and things have changed in the therapy world. Almost gone are the reparative therapists, even the renowned Exodus International has backed away from those tactics. Some churches are becoming inclusive, and young people are almost able to come out of the closet with much less stigma. Hopefully, the day will come when those born with the MtF or FtM proclivity will be able to say yes and be proud.

NOTE: Final word is a YES because the NO's have only set us up to fail and spend a lot of money, time and effort on cures. All the "cure" therapy in the world just plain does not work.

No technology, psychology, religion, or person can unwire the mechanism in our brain that got crossed up in the womb. Ours is not any different than any so-called deformity that society deems not conforming to their norms. We can't help it, we didn't choose it, so YES is all that's left.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Put me down as a YES some 65yrs. ago playing with my mothers heels got me started on a lifetime of crossdressing.

[lucy two]

I say yes and I love every minute that Lucy is out, and just because some say no I will not. They can act would not like it if we imposed out will on them so why should they impose theirs on us take a look at Goths I think they're great they have that right and we have ours so I say yes and always will.

[diannecourtney]

Oh a definite yes - your absolutely right about the breeze over the virgin knees.It took me to about 60 to learn what I was missing. And despite all the no's I look forward to joining the crowds ofmYesers.

[SuzieLod]

IF you are a CD then I hope you solve potential conflicts and say "yes" just for your peace of mind.

Let others debate it, feel menaced or simply dont like it. Its THEIR right and as such OK.

Let a few meet us , that is nice too

[Launa]

I said no for years because I felt it was wrong. Now I say yes, I'm not doing anything illegal or immoral. Now I think I'm a better person in the world.

[Gillian Gigs]

I say, yes to ice cream, cherry's, peaches, and any good meal. I say yes to what I enjoy, and occasionally have to be moderate about it, or I would go overboard. I say yes to dressing, as I enjoy it, yet all things in moderation. I do not want to be consumed by anything, but to consume what I want, as I am the one who is in control.

Maybe to many say no, because they do not know control and assume that noone else does either!

[Stephanie47]

So far, it appears if we are retired, we can easily "Say Yes to the Dress." I went through those years of doubt and self loathing.

Frederique says, "They want you to be as strong as they are."

Have I not be as strong or stronger than they are? What have my judges done? Have they graduated from college? Have they worked consistently and never drawn an unemployment check? Have they raised kids? Have they sent them to college and paid for it? Have they sent their wives to college and paid for it? Have they bought a house and paid for it? Are they debt free? Have they been totally faithful for forty plus years? Have they killed for their country? Have they earned the right to judge me? For cross dressing? For being myself? No.

However, I also realize my cross dressing, which I choose to be private about, may cause angst for some person I love. I choose not to throw it in their faces. I treat cross dressing like any other aspect of my life. It's me! But, it is also a small part of me! Stephanie and I share this mass of protoplasm. We take turns expressing ourselves, our needs and our responsibilities.

[Veronica27]

This thread brings to mind the famous "to be or not to be" soliloquy of Hamlet. I think that most crossdressers, like Hamlet, waver between yes and no despite what they may say or do. The one inescapeable thing that illustrates this is the proverbial closet. We all erect our own closet, no matter how out and about we may claim to be. There are those we will not tell, places we will not go and situations in which we will remain drab. It is not merely about remaining drab in certain circumstances, but involves our willingness to disclose. An individual could dress only within the confines of their own home and be out of the closet if they can tell anyone and everyone they crossdress should the subject come up. Others who believe they are out, may in fact have just enlarged their closet if the secret still exists in selected instances. Some closets are simply larger than others.

While closeted, we are saying "no" to the world despite the "yes" that exists in our own mind. We are not being truthful, but the question this raises is to whom. Are we lying to ourselves by saying yes, when we have scores of associates who must not find out, or are we lying to those associates by not disclosing what we feel? We can have a myriad of reasons for saying "no" in this sense but do the reasons really matter? Further along in his soliloquy, Hamlet says:

"But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,"

This is a very thought provoking thread. After reading it, I most certainly wanted to say yes, but found myself stuck in between, but not for the reasons Frederique mentioned. I want to make a decision, whether socially correct or not and I do have a choice. It is not conscience, religious belief, guilt, or shame that leaves me undecided. I personally see nothing wrong with crossdressing, having achieved total personal acceptance long ago. In that sense I am "yes". Perhaps I have a regard for the beliefs, thoughts and feelings of others and have no desire to be confrontational about something, that while very personal to me, could possibly make others very uncomfortable. After all, they are a resounding majority and I am defying normalcy in their opinion by my chosen activities. To them I am a "no", which is untruthful to both them and myself.

Veronica

[Marleena]

Always say yes to the dress!! If it feels good do it!:)

[Kaz]

Hi Freddie,

Great post as usual! I could write reams here but will try to keep it succinct (not easy for me!). In my professional life I often deal with categories... the need to define and compartmentalise. It is a good discipline to help us understand things... Yin and Yang, night and day, black and white, yes and no... etc... dichotomies are a great way of trying to make sense of things. BUT... the world is actually a spectrum. Black and white do not really exist. Night and day are artificial constructs - the real world has dawn and twilight and in some parts of the world it is 'night' for 6 months of the year. Except that it isn't... the people who live there have 'days' - just very dark ones! :)

Yes and No are similarly artificial. When asked questions that imply an either/or response I always like to say... it depends... because it does! It depends on the context.

[Dana921]

Great read!

I think it is far to often in our society to come up with reasons why we cannot, opposed to reasons why/how we can!

For simpler things, the daughter spent more time commenting on how she did not have time to fix a lunch before work today (she woke up later than normal) and my comment at the end of her announcement was if she had just done it, instead of telling us why she could not, she would be out the door and on her way to work with lunch in hand!

Point obviously is, "Just do it" in todays phrases! Now I do realize when it comes to choosing to crossdress or not, when to or when not to, it is a personal choice, and should be! I am only trying to offer a more positive thought of thinking how you can, instead of how you cannot!

Freddie will be able to articulate this better and more fully than I, if she has not already!

Dana

[Allisa]

Crossdressing as in donning the clothing assigned to my opposite gender-yes,crossdressing to express and fill a need-yes,crossdressing for my sanity-Yes,but to crossdress to be folly to the misinformed,uneducated,fearful and ignorant-NO.My life is mine to live no matter who or what may want to dictate my existence,in that way I am a rock causing a ripple in the stream.
Lisa

[carhill2mn]

It is quite evident that I said "YES" to crossdressing many years ago!

[drushin703]

f. inspirational thread. I say an emphatic yes to crossdressing and birds, and trees, and god, and forgiveness, blood, liberty, discovery, flammability, elephants,
privacy, open-mindedness, mothers, corn-dogs, petticoats and five inch heels. I think the world is opening up to the idea of men dressing as women but it has
yet to fully embrace sissification or any attempt at demasculization or any attack against the man as the brave-angry-male defender of the world. (is the notion
of homeland security done from a masculine or feminine persona?)

Masculinity is often seen as the final defensible frontier for the "average" hetro man, yet the final hurtle of true democracy.
I am indeed masculine but masculinity does not define me.....dana

[Jilmac]

I tried to say no for too many years (to no avail), while raising a family. Now with my wife in the great beyond, and my family raising their own, I am saying yes, yes, yes. I will continue saying yes until dirt is covering my remains.

[ReluctantDebutant]

I have said no before and I have said yes before. I will say yes again and I will say no again. I don't think crossdressing should weigh us down with absolutes

[Silmaril]

I've heard it suggested that inner peace is about achieving balance. Some do this by walking the proverbial middle path, but others do it by living in the extremes, spending time at one end of the pendulum's swing, then balancing it with time spent at the other. For me, cross-dressing is more a matter of living in the extremes.

I'm not sure it matters much to me whether I'm saying "Yes or "No" to cross-dressing at any given moment. I think what's important is that I say "yes" to *me*, and I am not static. Sometimes saying "yes" to me means dressing up; other times it means saying "no" to cross-dressing.

I guess I just mean that each of us is more than any single facet of our lives. I'm not sure there's any facet of my life that I say "Yes" to every single time. It's certainly a thought-provoking topic.

[NathalieX66]

I see myself as transgender, and bigendered......I live both sides of the gender spectrum, and I make no bones about it.

[Brittany CD]

[I]They want you to be as strong as they are, so why are you willfully upsetting masculinity?
I don't think there's a single person who knows me that would question my masculinity in any manner. A blouse does not make me lose my manhood


Are you saying YES to crossdressing, or are you trying to say NO to it? :thinking:

Interesting question. I think I'm saying yes and no. Yes because I do genuinely enjoy crossdressing but also I sometimes try to say no mainly because of the stigma attached and the possible inevitability that I'll have to give it up someday

[sissystephanie]

At 80 years of age I still say YES to crossdressing!! I have been doing it, in one way or another, most of the time since I was 6 years old and wore my sisters panties. I did make a deal with my late wife that I would not dress in front of our children! They both know that I am a crossdresser, but have never seen me dressed and don't want to! Other than around them, I don't care what other people think of me. How I dress and look is my business and no one else's!

[Barbara Ella]

Eleven months ago, at age 65, I unexpectedly found myself saying yes to crossdressing. At that time it was a conscious yes. Now i do not find that I even think about a yes or no. Sorry world there is no more time for decisions or discussing it. I am a crossdresser, and actually very seriously transgendered with a growing female presence i never knew existed, but is now overwhelming me.

So, for the first 65 years, was I saying no? As I look back, I see the signs that I was enamored with the female side of things, but at no time thought about crossdressing, so did I say no? I watched the girls in their stilettos and miniskirts, and halter tops, but thought it was normal male activity. Was it that or was it the seeds of what i really enjoy, and by just watching, was i saying no?

All food for thought as I try to figure out why the hell it took me so long to realize what it really was that I was meant to do by observing these female activities so closely. As usual dear Freddy has struck the nerve that gets us thinking. So, I feel that while I never crossdressed, I never said no. I was just ambivalent (Some would say too stupid to know better).

No ambivalency today. I AM A CROSSDRESSER. I cannot live without dressing feminine in some form everyday. I have other issues beyond crossdressing, I know this now, and am dealing with them, but nothing will ever take away me recognizing and accepting and embracing the fact that i am a crossdresser first.

Thanks Freddy, Barbara

[Cynthia Anne]

I like being positive! No is so negitive! I guess that's why I wore one of those skirts to the doctor today! Hugs!

[Michelle (Oz)]

Thanks for initiating a most interesting thread Frederique.

I have recently found inner piece by accepting that I am a crossdresser, and enjoying the times that I can dress. That said, I cannot divorce (unfortunately the operative word) myself from those like my wife who say NO! I must therefore live a duplicitous life within the confines of my otherwise very good marriage. I judge that it is the right thing for both of us but do sometimes worry for the future.

Michelle (Oz)

[KellyJameson]

I say yes to it but I try not to complicate other peoples mating rituals by creating confusion in public spaces.

[Lorileah]

Black and white do not really exist.
Well there goes MY wardrobe :doh:

Freddy, I say yes....punctuated with a few short moments of "no" that fly away with the morning. Sort of like when you say you will never drink again as you mix the Bloody Mary. :heehee:

[Mistybtm]

I say yes to crossdressing I have been dressing now 100% when I am home I could not think of any other way to be.

[DebbieL]

Frederique, I know you have struggled with his for a long time now.

I grew up in the southwestern United States, the land of Cowboys, Miners, and wild west towns. What I've observed is that the world seems to say NO to men dressing like women, dressing is feminine garments and clothing.

My father met my mother and was very attracted to her when he saw her in her red pants. My mother's mother risked being tarred and feathered if she wore pants into town without wearing a skirt or dress over it. Women weren't even allowed to show their ankles. In most states, women weren't allowed to own property, and most women were required to marry the men chosen by their families, even if they were brutes. Women were often beaten by drunken husbands, and if they fought back, they were burned at the stake as witches, usually after being tortured into accusing other women of being witches too, usually naming those on a list provided to them.

For me, the magical "flip date" was October of 1968, this was when many schools across the country had a "vote" on whether to allow girls to wear pants to school during the winter, when it was so cold that skirts, even with tights, were uncomfortable and insufficient. The boys were given the consolation of wearing shorts in the spring - if they'd vote for the resolution. The vote was held, pants won, and girls wore pants all winter, and most of the spring. But the boys who wore shorts were brutalized by the jocks, often at the direction of the football coach, athletic coach, or men's gym teacher - who would tell his "pets" to "teach the faggots a lesson".

That was the day that cross-dressing became so acceptable for women, that it wasn't even considered cross-dressing. A woman could wear work boots, baggy jeans, a baggy flannel shirt, and cut their hair shorter than the boys, and yet that was completely acceptable. On the other hand, a boy who wore a tailored shirt, a pink shirt, shoes with any kind of heel, or pants that were too tight - they were "Faggots" who "need to be taught a lesson", and the abuse was done as publicly as possible, and without objection of the rest of the student body. It was the athletic teacher's way of protecting the athletic program as a "program to train young men to be good soldiers immediately after their 18th birthday in the shortest time possible".

More than a few times, I was one of the ones who "had to be taught a lesson". When I wore shorts, I was dragged across the black-top, first by my ankles, with my stomach and chest stripped bare, stripping the flesh from the chest and stomach, then dragged by my arms so that the skin was stripped from my thighs. I recovered in a few days, but it was bloody and painful for weeks.

Needless to say, I might have had a cross burning on my lawn, or even given another dragging, whipping, or even have a few bones broken with a baseball bat if they had found out that I was cross-dressing and wanted to be a girl. They knew I couldn't go into the army, I had asthma, hay fever, and emotional issues. When I got to high school, I was misdiagnosed with epilepsy (actually the DTs). But they didn't want anyone else dodging the draft for being transsexual or homosexual.

What was so incredibly amazing, so many of those who were beating the crap out of me and all of my friends for being "faggots", were asking me for sexual favors in high school. I wasn't into it, but I was able to make some nice matches.

Cross-dressing in the United States is loaded with associations - it triggers homophobia, gynophobia, and fears of sexism.

A man in a dress who doesn't pass well - whether as a drag queen, or as an entertainer like Uncle Miltie - is perceived by women as insulting and degrading to women, making fun of women and feminity, and the jokes and snide remarks,

When a man actually DOES pass well, looks so beautiful because he looks like a real beautiful and sexy woman, that's an even bigger problem. Women see them as competition for the available men, and men freak out because they are attracted, making them question their own sexuality. They don't even know what they would want when they find out that the woman of his dreams is a man.

No one sees a woman in a pair of pants and a loose fitting shirt and assumes she's a lesbian. Men don't freak out if they find her attractive and assume that they are gay because they like (or married) a girl who looks like a boy. When my wife had her head shaved, she got COMPLIMENTS on her hair. From the back, she looks like a man (she's size 24/26), she wears baggy pants, and knit tops, and she get compliments.

Yet, when I am wearing a skirt, heels, hose, a nice top, a full wig, earrings, make-up, and looking very nice, if I look too nice, too cute, or too beautiful, then I have to worry about reactions that can range from hysterical laughter (no biggie), to some homophobic ex-jock/ex-marine or some lesbian who wants to beat me senseless, or wants to cut my balls off without anesthesia.

But it's even more subtle than that. A manicure, gets noticed and remarks. A pair of earrings worn at the same time - get's noticed and slurs. A pair of short shorts get's hysterical laughter.or maybe threats of physical violence. A pair of shoes with 2 inch heels can cost a promotion or a proficiency rating, a pair of pink tennis shoes - a reprimand. Even when I can pass, my wife will remind me that I will still get treated with less respect if people think I'm a woman, especially a sexy woman or a "****".

I say YES to cross-dressing, but I am totally aware that about 99.9% of the world is very much saying NO.

I'm a transsexual - a girl trapped in a boy's body. I've known that since I was about 4 years old. I tried to change it, but there was nothing I could do.

I think I was a girl in a previous life, killed at about age 16 or 17, while being a girl was fun, having sex was a great new pleasure with no experiences of the consequences, and pretty enough to have a guy I considered very attractive and wanted sexually.

[AshleyScott]

Frédérique's original post has made a profound impression on me and I find the following observations very encouraging. Thank you.

I am reminded of The Man from Del Monte :D

[TGMarla]

I said "yes" to it when I was but 12 years old, and I've been saying the same thing all my life. I continue to say "yes" to it on a very regular basis, too.

Yes please! Thank you very much.

Absolutely!

Yes!

[Annaliese2010]

I say neither because (IMO) the question's all wrong. It is now and will forever be a curiosity and non-issue for the overwhelming majority of gender-normal people who are our neighbors, family and coworkers. Our's is the ultra-minority of minorities compared to others. We have no agenda to push, no battle to fight and no social attitudes or values to 'correct'.

Forgive me but it seems silly to become so impassioned about changing general perceptions regarding an issue that's so far off the radar screen of mainstream society as to be deemed irrelevant. Most of us will always be regarded as 'freaks' of nature or at best, psychologically abnormal or damaged.

Perhaps the best course is to stick with one's own with respect to private social interaction. Relax and enjoy the support and well meaning extended by those with common feelings regarding gender ID instead of battling society at large, expending unnecessary energy and risk the development of an inner cynicism and growing anger that is never a healthy thing.

[Marlane]

Because I chose to keep my crossdressing a secret from almost everyone else, I guess you could say that I was saying "No" to the world, but I never said "No" to myself and to those true friends with whom I shared my crossdressing life. The intensity of my participation in crossdressing surely ebbed and flowed over the years, but I can say that I have known I was a crossdresser from an early age and the older I get the more attention I pay to this relationship of being a transvestite. I went out in public dressed as a woman in my 20's, 30', 40's, 50's, and I am happy to say that I still continue to do so. I'm new here and I hope to meet a lot of new friends and find out a lot of new things.

Marlane

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Even though my response was delayed by a couple of decades, dealing with the whole denial, I will cure myself and be a pure 100% man battles (better late than never), my answer for the present, future and til the end of time is YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lexie89]

Yes. i like make-up skirts and looking pretty

[Delila]

I find myself always saying yes though sometimes i wish i could say no. while it would be a wonderful thing if all of us that feel this way could just openly and honestly say yes. The unfortunate truth is that coworkers can make you uncomfortable without it being harassment and give a hundred reasons why. Many others in society make the push on those of us that want to just say yes. Yes in your society at least relating to CDing is like a 4 letter word. The outspoken gays hate us the vanilla straight people hate us there is little room for most Cders in the standard gay and hetero classifications. I wish I could always say yes but the reality is that being a crossdresser is almost always looked down upon in our society gay or straight unless you are a gay female impersonator. My outlook may seem negative but it accurately reflects my experiences in general.

[Traceyjo]

Once I discovered the joy of crossdressing in my late 30's there has never been an inclination to say NO to it. I had discovered a new pleasure in my life that I didn't know existed and it was a pleasure with an intensity that I was not going to wish away. I've had to keep it a secret until I shared it with my wife not so long ago and hiding it from her was the only regret I had. I just enjoy it so immensely that I say YES to every opportunity I have to dress.

[kimdl93]

I said yes in a confident and irrevocable way a couple of years ago.

I loved Veronica's suggested relationship between this thread and Hamlet's soliloquy. For much of my life, as with others, I feared the undiscovered country. I engaged in CDing furtively, underdressing on occassion, but never allowing myself to imagine that I could go fully into the world en femme.

I did fear that if I crossed over, that I might not return, and I did not. The person who returned is forever changed.

[Glendy]

I say yes to crossdressing even though I don't get to dress up as often as I would like to. When I do I just love the way I feel and look when I'm in women mode.

[sometimes_miss]

I say yes because it's all I have left; suppressing the desire to crossdress and behave and feel as a girl only leaves me upset, short tempered and continuously uncomfortable; without a SO, and without any regular source of physical affection (no, not sex) other than gogo dancers, I barely remain a functional member of society. I"m biding my time until women no longer expect me to be able to perform sexually on demand, and can finally expect to find a mate. NO , I will not tell her of my crossdressing; I have been able to suppress it when in a LTR before, and expect to be able to do it again. As the sexual drive slows down, I'm hoping it will be a non factor in an intimate relationship. It's truly my only hope at this point.

[dsmth]

It was about one and a half years ago that this aspect of my life became non-suppressible in the way that it always was prior to then. For me it was not out-of-nowhere. In the past I'd wished I was a girl. I'd always admired what they got to wear and got to do. But I didn't think there was much of anything to be done about it. I understood as a GIVEN that it was OK for girls to openly want to be boys... to not look girly... and to wear whatever they wanted (short of too-****ty attire that is). And I understood as a GIVEN that it did not work the same way for boys. I was not happy about that. I did not think it was right from an early age. But I figured it is JUST THE WAY THE WORLD IS.

I never thought I could or would dress as a female as a way to address my desire. I just didn't think it was a possibility. Even whenever the subject or crossdressing would come up I would never say anything because I thought that I would be forever stigmatized or worse. One of my early girlfriends even said something to the effect that she was curious how I'd look in women's clothes but I DIDN'T DARE say YES then. I remember at the time I didn't say anything at all and let the topic drop, never to come up again. I was afraid/terrified I guess to admit it to ANYBODY. That I was so afraid to admit it to someone that was so open to it does not make any sense to me now of course.

Currently, privately at least, I find myself saying YES absolutely. And I think I know myself enough to know that there is no way that I would or could ever suppress this part of myself anymore... At least not to the extent that I did before.

But, for me at least, just saying YES (even absolutely) to oneself privately... is not enough. Life is not ideal yet. I wonder when it ever will be? That said, I do feel lucky for what I do have. Even if it makes me unhappy. Because it makes me SO HAPPY at same exact time! And I realize that the reason why it makes me happy is because it is a true expression of myself, of who I am. And I realize that the reason why that it makes me unhappy is because of "everyone else" (not including you guys/girls and some others of course). So why should I let others control me when they don't really care about me as much as I do? I don't mean to say that I don't have people that care about me. I have people that love me in my life (even if they still don't know everything about me). And I have people that I love. I have an SO that I love (except when she drives me nuts :) ). But the only person that knows what's best for you is YOURSELF.

I really hope and I do expect that my YES to crossdressing that I've recently embraced just keeps getting better and keeps providing more and more novel, fun and enlightening experiences and pleasures. At the same time I hope and expect to grow closer to my SO without alienating her. And I hope that the whole world changes sooner rather than later so that I need not suppress myself to the extent that I still need to now. And if it takes the world too long to change then I'll just have to push things forward myself I guess. Somehow. That's me hope at least!

[neverwasaboy]

I purged only once and that was when I was 22. Since then my entire life has been a non-stop, uninterrupted, uncompromised, undeniable, totally blissful YES!

[Marlana]

I'm going on the yes train.

[aly01]

That's a positive yes for me.

[Angela Campbell]

I have said no most of my life. Off and on I would try on panties, bras and slips, even as young as 5 or 6. I would always be embarrassed and worked very very hard to keep it secret and have succeded well. Only one other person in the whole world knew. After 2 marriages in denial I now am on my own and this week for the first time went all the way. I already had the underclothes so I purchased a skirt, blouse, hose, shoes a wig and cosmetics. I was able for the first time ever to dress completely as a woman and it was wonderful. I know nothing about makeup and just looked up tips on the internet and gave it a try. Eye shadow, mascara, eyeliner, foundation/concealer, and lipstick and press on nails. Wow, I was so nervous because I was not saure if it would ever come off and just what would I do then?

Well except for the nails - which were a bitch to get off - I did ok. Still need to learn how to do the makeup better but when I finally was done I looked in the mirror and was shocked. All my life I was embarrassed even to look at myself in the mirror in the undies, but this time I thought I looked great. I was proud of the lady I saw looking at me.

I was in a hotel room and terrified to even open the door but I was able to dress up 3 nights in a row for the evening. Maybe next time I will work up the nerve to go down the hall to the ice machine.

So for me it is a yes for the rest of my life as often as I can.

[Pexetta]

In retrospect I said 'yes' when I bought the kind of everyday clothes that I'd hang around the house in if I was a woman - and then hung around the house in them. Because then it stopped seeming like 'dressing up' and started seeming like something I wanted to do for real. This makes it sound kind of boring I know, but it really was the dividing line for me.

[Thera Home]

Hello Little Sister

My answer will be yes and no. Yes to when I want to do it and No to when I have to do it. :eek:
Anyway, hope all is well at your camp.

:hugs:

Thera

[Rachel Morley]

Like others have said ... say yes to the dress! Why? ... because the most over-riding emotion when I'm en femme is happiness ... but to elaborate a little, I'd say I also feel somehow liberated, more attractive, I think I look younger, I'm less stressed, I somehow kinda feel "softer inside", and I generally feel relaxed, happy and fulfilled. It's almost like some kind of "mild self-affirming contentment drug" ... so you bet I say "yes" to crossdressing. :)

[Jennifer Soames]

I love saying yes ansd am saying yes right now, and it feels great

[Alyla]

Frederique,

Usually, I just say no!, to the conformation and condemnation thrust our way by others. I find it self soothing and pleasing to accept myself whatever way I find me in the morning. The hardest part is deciding what feels right to wear today. I am not always clearly thoughtful in the morning, somedays it takes me a while to know what is right for today, those terrible early morning decisions. Will this go together, does this match, and so l just get dressed, when I want to. No shame in it.

peace and love, and the other stuff,
Alyla

[Kaz]

I so love Freddie's posts because they make me think hard! Having said it is all about context and that there are no absolutes... YES! I am a crossdresser and proud of it! It is me and this is who I am. BUT... that means I need to find balance in a world that is also divided into dichotomous categorisation (black/white, good/bad etc). So, I am Yin and I am also Yang... Right now I am more Kaz than 'him'. When I wake up I will be a male rock guitarist prepping for rehearsal, then a son seeing his aged mother, then a grandfather having a great day with his family, then getting some work done in his home office and some Kaz time... before I end the day and sleep...

So I say a qualified Yes... and still contest that context is the issue for most of us... xx