Male Mannerisms?

[the_shark]

Hey everyone. I got a question for ya. I've been told I can pass as a dude pretty well from you fine folks but someone brought up something interesting, mannerisms. This may seem like a no brainier or just stupid to all you lovely mtf people out there, but I'm just wondering if there are any specific dos and don'ts or just any other general advice on how to give off that male vibe so to speak without looking like I'm trying too hard. Anyone with anything to offer is more than welcome to answer this.
Thanks,
Adam

[Lorileah]

slouch, when you sit, sit with your knees apart and lean forward with your elbows on your thighs and your hands interlaced. Or on the other hand lay back and recline at every opportunity. When you walk do it as if you don't care about anything, shuffle or waddle. I think you personally would really pull off the James Dean thing. But mostly it is a slovenly sloppy slouchy thing like you are so worn out that you could melt. Remember when you meet another dude and you are shaking hands that you need to make it as big and grand as possible. Make a wide arc and grab tight. The harder you squeeze the more manly you are, don't be a wet fish. Laugh loud no matter what. Squint (Clint Eastwood did that( like you doubt or question what the other guy says.

:) this is so much fun, just like when the MtFs ask how a woman walks. There ain't a correct answr it is all stereotypes and the harder you try and copy it the more you will stand out

[AllieSF]

Good one Lorileah, you had me going WTF? there for a moment. Adam just watch and emulate where you think it works for you. If anything watch your girly squeals of delight and then bringing your hands to your mouth in surprise, fear or for whatever reasons a lot of girls and women do that. A slouching guy, me sometimes, can look like a real slob and your male pic definitely does not look like that. Just be yourself and enjoy.

[Kate T]

A lot of male interactions and mannerisms are sort of just an exaggeration or "stronger" version of female mannerisms. As Lori said, Shake hands with a firm grip, widen the hand as if you are intending to control when the contact breaks off. A pat on the back becomes a slap on the back.
Men rarely hold their hands together. Men will cross their arms a lot more than women.
With conversation think about being in control. Men but in, they don't wait for someone to finish speaking. They will generally use shorter sentence structures in conversation and will typically use active verbs rather than passive verbs e.g. "He said" (male version) vs "I heard him say" (female version).

Good luck

[Persephone]

First, I have to say that "Duality" is superb! You definitely look good either way!

I agree with Lorileah, you appear to have that "bad boy" James Dean thing going for you so maybe warch some of his movies and see if the moves and manerisms fit you.

Basically, being a guy is about owning/occupying space, very territorial, and if it wasn't for the thin venier of civilization any situation that offered the least possibility that someone was "in your face" would be grounds for agression.

So be bold! And don't smile!

Really, that was a tricky one for me going the other way (MtF). Women catch each other's eye they smile a small smile at each other. Even if it is accidental eye contact with a total stranger across a crowded room. Women don't smile at strange men nor acknowledge them.

In boyworld it is pretty much the opposite. You can certainly look at women (that's even encouraged!) but you don't acknowledge them unless you are tryingto meet them (and maybe date them, or at least find out if you can take them to bed). Eye contact with other men is avoided unless they are your friends or family and even then eye contact is usually minimal. Watch two women having lunch together and then watch two guys.

But if you do happen to make eye contact with another dude, like walking down the street in the opposite direction or something, you nod without smiling.

Oh! One more thing! But you probably already know this one (as well as many of the others I've just written about). When you walk into the restroom you always go to the urinal farthest from any other guy. And definitely no eye contact nor conversation there! Even if you walked in with your friend and you two were discussing something when you hit the mens's room door.

An excellent presentation on men's room etiquette can be found here (contains audio) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw).

Enjoy the new world, Shark!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Lorileah]

And if anyone interrupts you, keep talking like you didnt hear them.
did you say something? now as I was saying

[Eryn]

There is a difference in conversational styles. Males are competitive and "I can top that" is a common mode of communication. Be careful not to get caught in an exaggeration! Males develop a "pecking order" in groups with one dominant person who leads the activity. The dominant person may change if the activity or composition of the group changes. When in doubt, it's better to be a follower than a leader.

When walking go straight in the direction you intend. If you encounter another person intersecting your path the person who yields is usually the smaller of the two. The exception is women who are sometimes given deferential treatment.

When arriving at a door at the same time as another man, the one closest to the handle opens the door and passes through. Men do not generally hold doors for each other unless they are holding the door for a group walking together. If a gentleman arrives at a door at the same time or slightly ahead of a woman he will hold the door and allow her to enter ahead of him. If the door opens inward he will pass through the door and then hold it for the woman. If the woman is accompanied by others the man will hold the door for the entire group. The technical exception to this door rule is elevators, where etiquette requires that the man enters the elevator first.

When walking or driving you are allowed to look around! Men avoid eye contact with other men unless they are conversing directly. If you do inadvertently make eye contact simply nod slightly and look away. Don't smile.

Persephone's restroom etiquette video was hilarious but has a lot of truth in it. The key is space, you want to be as far away from other restroom occupants as possible while still achieving your goal. Talking is, of course, verboten. Men tend to be very brief in their use of the sink (if they use it at all).

[the_shark]

slouch, when you sit, sit with your knees apart and lean forward with your elbows on your thighs and your hands interlaced. Or on the other hand lay back and recline at every opportunity. When you walk do it as if you don't care about anything, shuffle or waddle. I think you personally would really pull off the James Dean thing. But mostly it is a slovenly sloppy slouchy thing like you are so worn out that you could melt. Remember when you meet another dude and you are shaking hands that you need to make it as big and grand as possible. Make a wide arc and grab tight. The harder you squeeze the more manly you are, don't be a wet fish. Laugh loud no matter what. Squint (Clint Eastwood did that( like you doubt or question what the other guy says.

:) this is so much fun, just like when the MtFs ask how a woman walks. There ain't a correct answr it is all stereotypes and the harder you try and copy it the more you will stand out

Lol, hey, I don't mind hearing the stereotypes. Take 'em with a grain of salt and tone 'em down. You're funny by the way. I like that. The Clint Eastwood bit was my favorite. A western show down every time I meet someone eh? Better get my guns out *flexes biceps* Nah, I'm just playing with stereotypes now. You're right, it is a lot of fun. And I probably could do James dean lol. ;)

[the_shark]

Good one Lorileah, you had me going WTF? there for a moment. Adam just watch and emulate where you think it works for you. If anything watch your girly squeals of delight and then bringing your hands to your mouth in surprise, fear or for whatever reasons a lot of girls and women do that. A slouching guy, me sometimes, can look like a real slob and your male pic definitely does not look like that. Just be yourself and enjoy.
Will do Allie! *squeals in delight* Just kidding. But I will watch for that, I don't think I do that but who knows. Thanks!

[the_shark]

A lot of male interactions and mannerisms are sort of just an exaggeration or "stronger" version of female mannerisms. As Lori said, Shake hands with a firm grip, widen the hand as if you are intending to control when the contact breaks off. A pat on the back becomes a slap on the back.
Men rarely hold their hands together. Men will cross their arms a lot more than women.
With conversation think about being in control. Men but in, they don't wait for someone to finish speaking. They will generally use shorter sentence structures in conversation and will typically use active verbs rather than passive verbs e.g. "He said" (male version) vs "I heard him say" (female version).

Good luck
That's an interesting way to look at it from an exaggerated standpoint. So it's all about being in control eh? I can do that ha. And I'll keep the verbs thing in mind that's also an interesting difference I might not have picked up.

[the_shark]

First, I have to say that "Duality" is superb! You definitely look good either way!

I agree with Lorileah, you appear to have that "bad boy" James Dean thing going for you so maybe warch some of his movies and see if the moves and manerisms fit you.

Basically, being a guy is about owning/occupying space, very territorial, and if it wasn't for the thin venier of civilization any situation that offered the least possibility that someone was "in your face" would be grounds for agression.

So be bold! And don't smile!

Really, that was a tricky one for me going the other way (MtF). Women catch each other's eye they smile a small smile at each other. Even if it is accidental eye contact with a total stranger across a crowded room. Women don't smile at strange men nor acknowledge them.

In boyworld it is pretty much the opposite. You can certainly look at women (that's even encouraged!) but you don't acknowledge them unless you are tryingto meet them (and maybe date them, or at least find out if you can take them to bed). Eye contact with other men is avoided unless they are your friends or family and even then eye contact is usually minimal. Watch two women having lunch together and then watch two guys.

But if you do happen to make eye contact with another dude, like walking down the street in the opposite direction or something, you nod without smiling.

Oh! One more thing! But you probably already know this one (as well as many of the others I've just written about). When you walk into the restroom you always go to the urinal farthest from any other guy. And definitely no eye contact nor conversation there! Even if you walked in with your friend and you two were discussing something when you hit the mens's room door.

An excellent presentation on men's room etiquette can be found here (contains audio) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw).

Enjoy the new world, Shark!

Hugs,
Persephone.

Thanks Persephone. I'm terrible about the eye contact thing. Is it really that strict? I knew the nod thing but... Yeah, men's ettiquite is different. I'll watch a James dean video or two see if we compare. I think we just might. I did know the urinal one and I'm pretty excited to be able to use that one lol. And no worries, I stare at women constantly... Especially at work.... Backstage in the models changing tent we're all running around naked. Just about the only thing I like about my job ;) getting to gawk at all the girls without em batting an eyelash. Usually that is. If I get a funny look all I have to do is touch her shoulder and tell her "oh, I'm so sorry. It's just, you're so pretty I couldn't look away!" and then she starts babbling on about her makeup or whatever and I'm off the hook. Lol. Thanks for everything.
Adam

[the_shark]

Good question, Adam. Somewhere around here is a sticky thread about improving your voice. The easiest thing to do is watch the tone of your voice at the end of sentences. Alot of womens voices tend to go up, as if theyre asking a question. Mens voices tend to go down. And if anyone interrupts you, keep talking like you didnt hear them.
I think the voice might be my downfall so I'll go check that out. Thanks man.

[RADER]

Shark:
Just watch other men; Not all men act as slobs, yes some do, very common in a bar etc.
Some men walk around with a hand in their pocket, and like to talk with their hands, gestures.
If out think your voice is starting to raise up in sounds, just cough, a little, and clear your throat.
That might help you pull it off. Maybe try to have a dirty face, like you need a shave.
I hope these help you.
Rader

[the_shark]

There is a difference in conversational styles. Males are competitive and "I can top that" is a common mode of communication. Be careful not to get caught in an exaggeration! Males develop a "pecking order" in groups with one dominant person who leads the activity. The dominant person may change if the activity or composition of the group changes. When in doubt, it's better to be a follower than a leader.

When walking go straight in the direction you intend. If you encounter another person intersecting your path the person who yields is usually the smaller of the two. The exception is women who are sometimes given deferential treatment.

When arriving at a door at the same time as another man, the one closest to the handle opens the door and passes through. Men do not generally hold doors for each other unless they are holding the door for a group walking together. If a gentleman arrives at a door at the same time or slightly ahead of a woman he will hold the door and allow her to enter ahead of him. If the door opens inward he will pass through the door and then hold it for the woman. If the woman is accompanied by others the man will hold the door for the entire group. The technical exception to this door rule is elevators, where etiquette requires that the man enters the elevator first.

When walking or driving you are allowed to look around! Men avoid eye contact with other men unless they are conversing directly. If you do inadvertently make eye contact simply nod slightly and look away. Don't smile.

Persephone's restroom etiquette video was hilarious but has a lot of truth in it. The key is space, you want to be as far away from other restroom occupants as possible while still achieving your goal. Talking is, of course, verboten. Men tend to be very brief in their use of the sink (if they use it at all).
I knew absolutely none of this accept hold open the door for a lady. Fascinating. Especially the whoevers smaller yields thing. I'm 5'10" so I'll most likely be the yielder more often than not ha. Don't smile. Ah, gotta work on that one. When you're so used to doing something... Ah well. Society makes parameters and we just have to choose which ones we abide by and who we want to be. I still have yet to watch the video but I am about to right now. Thanks eryn.

[the_shark]

Shark:
Just watch other men; Not all men act as slobs, yes some do, very common in a bar etc.
Some men walk around with a hand in their pocket, and like to talk with their hands, gestures.
If out think your voice is starting to raise up in sounds, just cough, a little, and clear your throat.
That might help you pull it off. Maybe try to have a dirty face, like you need a shave.
I hope these help you.
Rader
I'm not exactly the slobbish type myself. I'll just make sure I don't spend too much time washing my hands. Do guys my age still get voice cracks? I'm just short of 19. And how do you go about the dirty face thing you're talking about? I have a few ideas but I wanted to see what yours were.

[Eryn]

I knew absolutely none of this accept hold open the door for a lady. Fascinating.

Of course, the main rule is that the other rules are flexible! They are more attitudes than a set of instructions.

[the_shark]

Of course, the main rule is that the other rules are flexible! They are more attitudes than a set of instructions.
Well nevertheless it is fascinating. Just things one would think is a little off or on point or whatever. I understand it's different for everyone, but the more the suggestions, the more of a litter I have to pick from on which I want to go by. Sure a lot better than guessing and starting from scratch or even worse those famous stereotypes.

[Persephone]

Adam,

I asked my spouse what she thought some useful differences might be and she came up with two.

Be more agressive.

Do not admire, coo at, nor play with other people's children, especially babies. Her comment was that this was two-fold advice. First of all, it isn't something guys do, and second, you don't want to be thought to be a pedophile.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[the_shark]

Adam,

I asked my spouse what she thought some useful differences might be and she came up with two.

Be more agressive.

Do not admire, coo at, nor play with other people's children, especially babies. Her comment was that this was two-fold advice. First of all, it isn't something guys do, and second, you don't want to be thought to be a pedophile.

Hugs,
Persephone.
Ha! I don't really want to be thought of as a pedophile either! Not really the persona I'm trying to achieve. And thanks for asking her for me. I appreciate it a lot. I'll keep the aggression levels up but not to piss anyone off. Not anyone important anyway ;) Just kidding. But thank you very much.
Best,
Adam

[Tara D. Rose]

Adam,

I asked my spouse what she thought some useful differences might be and she came up with two.

Be more agressive.

Do not admire, coo at, nor play with other people's children, especially babies. Her comment was that this was two-fold advice. First of all, it isn't something guys do, and second, you don't want to be thought to be a pedophile.

Hugs,
Persephone.

This one is oh so true. A man cannot coo or admire a little child anywhere in public. But you can if you have a woman with you, like as a couple, then's it's usually ok.

No eye contact with men in public, I learned this one many times the hard way my self. If eye contact is accidentally made you just nod and keep walking.

If you are with someone at the grocery store or wal-mart, etc. And you're with another person and you're following them with the buggy, while they shop, as a man you lean over, or rest your forearms on the buggy as you push it in a lazy unhurried style. When the buggy stops, you continue to lean on it there.

Keep your wallet in your back left pocket.


While driving your car, and if you have a stick in the console, whether it be a straight or automatic, keep your left hand at 11:00and your right hand over the gear knob.

When you're a guest at someone's house, after the greeting and you're asked to sit, then sit on the couch or love seat or any chair with your butt on the very edge and leaning forward with left elbow on left knee and left hand over to the right knee, and right elbow on right knee with chin in right palm. Or if you want to relax, then lean on back, then put your right ankle over your left knee.


Hold your beer bottle by the main body of the bottle and not by the neck.



If you have an itch in a private place, then scratch it without regards to who may see you.



Practice to let the word "yeah" replace the word "yes" unless it is followed with "sir or Maam".


If you go fishing, put your own worm on the hook, plus your fishing partner if it's a GG.


If you're really digging a song, you play air guitar.


If you see a ruckous or an arguement out in public, like a bar or concert or anywhere, and the aggressor then leaves, you turn to your friends and say, "I'd like to see that M*Fer say that to me".


Oh yeah, and when you pee at the house, leave the toilet seat up.

[the_shark]

Thanks Tara for the volume of imput. Much of it is stereotypes. But I still like hearing em. So that I can adapt accordingly upon my own terms. And give my best shot at being a gentleman. When around the girls that is. That one about the wallet made me laugh. It's so specific. If I put it in the right back pocket do I look femm or whatever you call it? Lol, I'm just playin. Thanks Tara!

P.S. I'm just going to stop acknowledging children all together so I don't get arrested lol.

[the_shark]

So James Dean huh? Just watched this interview and I think that could easily be my style. I kinda have that smug persona to me naturally. And he's actually 2 inches shorter than me. Boy do I love being tall. :thumbsup:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU5N2SrEaZI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU5N2SrEaZI

[Lorileah]

this is more how I imagined you Shark
184790

[the_shark]

Ha, yup. That's about right. I was thinking nix the cowboy hat as well. Just thought I'd post a video for the sake of mannerisms. But from a clothes standpoint, most likely spot on. Thanks Lori. I'm Adam by the way. Shark is just my totem animal. Thanks for the pic.

[DebbieL]

This one is oh so true. A man cannot coo or admire a little child anywhere in public. But you can if you have a woman with you, like as a couple, then's it's usually ok.

You can complement the PARENTS on their wonderful child, and say how smart or clever he is. Don't call a boy cute, or a girl beautiful.


No eye contact with men in public, I learned this one many times the hard way my self. If eye contact is accidentally made you just nod and keep walking.

Actually you ALWAYS look a man in the eyes and nod. It's actually a bow, it acknowledges his space and his "turf", NOT doing it is a sign of disrespect. Men always look each other in the eye and nod to acknowledge respect for each other. Women always keep eyes forward and glance sideways so as not to attract unwanted attention.

When watching, thing "march" rather than walk. Men walking alone take larger steps but do not move their hips, or anything above. Imagine you are holding a rifle and you don't want the drill sergeant to see it and nail you for walking like a sissy.

This one seems strange, but it's a give-away to women. You should check them out, starting from the feet up, pause at the breasts for at least 1 second, and THEN look at their eyes. Men do it all the time, and can't really help themselves. Instinctively, they want to check out physical appearance before making eye contact.

Once you start a conversation, look only at eyes, but when eye contact is broken by her, drop to the breasts and immediately go back to the eyes, she will assume you are a "typical man", it is also a complement that you can't resist, yet keep going back to her eyes. You don't want to stare at her breasts, that will make her think you are a jerk.


If you are with someone at the grocery store or wal-mart, etc. And you're with another person and you're following them with the buggy, while they shop, as a man you lean over, or rest your forearms on the buggy as you push it in a lazy unhurried style. When the buggy stops, you continue to lean on it there.

Men never worry about the size of their butts, or even if their crack is showing. Normally the pants always hide all shape. You can bend over the cart, or lean on the cart. Most men hate shopping, and treat it like a burdon. Furthermore, if they have beer bellies, standing and walking slowly for extended periods of time gives them back-aches. Walking through the grocery store or the women's wear section standing straight up and looking too closely at favorite or popular styles is a give-away that you are either gay, or gender-distressed. You might be misread as MtF but it does get attention.


Keep your wallet in your back left pocket.

Either back pocket works. Again, men never worry about the size of their buts, even if they have big butts. Ideally, the wallet will leave an imprint, so that it can be seen in the jeans, but cannot be picked without being detected.

In a similar note, men are always aware of their surroundings, conditioned by constant threats and the period of violence that occurs in the earliest stages of puberty. It never goes away. As the man, those around you must sense that you are aware of everyone within a 10 foot radius, men and women, and aware of anything that should be avoided so that you can diffuse the situation before confrontation (for example, the nod to show respect).

When shaking hands with a man, you should always hold your hand straight vertical, to show that you are equal, grasp it firmly but not hard enough to cause pain. When shaking hands with a woman, you put your hand under hers, and support it, holding it more gently. If she grasps firmly and turns it to the side, then shake like you would with a man.


While driving your car, and if you have a stick in the console, whether it be a straight or automatic, keep your left hand at 11:00and your right hand over the gear knob.

You don't have to keep the hand on the shift, but you want to show that you are prepared for anything by having the left hand at 11, or the right hand at 1. The other hand can be lower. The thing you don't want to do is put both hands high on the wheel, because it will push your breasts up. Men with man-boobs are very self-conscious about this, as well as men with large muscular pectoral muscles. They don't want others to see or think "breast".


When you're a guest at someone's house, after the greeting and you're asked to sit, then sit on the couch or love seat or any chair with your butt on the very edge and leaning forward with left elbow on left knee and left hand over to the right knee, and right elbow on right knee with chin in right palm. Or if you want to relax, then lean on back, then put your right ankle over your left knee.

Men typically "plop" into a chair or couch, rather than sitting carefully, and they usually try to locate furniture they are confident can take the "plop". Normally, you bend you knees and when you thighs are at about 45 degrees, you drop quickly. Men don't take ballet or gymnastics, and have more of their weight in their waist and shoulders, which makes it harder for them to balance.

Men normally have testicles which will be painfully squeezed if they cross their legs at the knees too tightly. You can cross you legs at the knees, but just at the knees, not further up the thighs. If you can, be careful not to point the bottom of your feet or shoes at anyone. Especially for Muslims and Hindus, this is an insult, and they may be offended if you point your sole at them. You can point you toes slightly, but not fully. Your feet should always have an angle.



Hold your beer bottle by the main body of the bottle and not by the neck.

A key element of "masculinity" is that from the time they are about 5-6 years old, the ultimate put-down and also a threat, is to be a "Sissy". If you get that label at that age, it's the queue for the other boys to beat you up after school. That combination of verbal queue followed by the physical abuse becomes a very powerful conditioning tool - not only for those who experience it, but also to those who observe it.

One of the key distinctions of growing up male is violence. Boys are told not to hit girls, but they can beat the crap out of each other. By middle school, its "you've got to fight to be a man". Most male mammals engage in various forms of physical contests to establish diminance, superiority, and rank within the pack, tribe, or troupe. Alpha males have first choice of breeding rights, first choice of females. Since humans are monogamous (for the most part), alpha males take first choice, and the mates are chosen based on the ranking among the males, working down the ranks. Often, the omega male - the lowest on the totem pole becomes the "errand boy" or the "clown", and is discouraged from even trying to make moves on the remaining girls if any remain.


If you have an itch in a private place, then scratch it without regards to who may see you.[QUOTE/]

Keep in mind that most men wear jocky shorts, aka briefs. These are usually a thick absorbent cotton, designed to absorb the extra drops of urine that are secreted as the man returns the penis after urinating. It usually leaves a few drops right next to the testes. The water vapor condenses resulting in a combination of acid and ammonia that is in direct contact with some of the most sensitive parts of male anatomy. The sensation is almost like an ant-bite in those most sensitive areas between your legs. Imagine putting several drops of acid on the hood and labia, then putting some nice absorbent cotton - that holds the acid and keeps it nice and moist and stinging - all day long, and gets refreshed every time you urinate.

Normally, men will respond to the "bite" as quickly and discreetly as possible, a quick "pinch" - to "kill the ant that's biting you".

[QUOTE] Practice to let the word "yeah" replace the word "yes" unless it is followed with "sir or Maam".

The key word for men is "Be cool", don't express too much emotion, and don't use "Sissy Words". It's OK to say something like "That's a pretty dress, it looks nice on you", but not OK to say "What a lovely dress, it really suits your figure". Other flag words, "Exquisite", "Delightful", "Beautiful", "Elegant", anything French.

Men also use a very limited range of voice, with very little variation of pitch, typically no more than a fifth musically. Women and gay men will often exceed an octave, and often swing through that octave twice in the same sentence. Men will raise their pitch for emphasis, but only slightly. Raising pitch too much indicates frustration, it signals to other men that you have lost control of the situation and are refusing to accept your lowered status but are unable to back it up.

Men also use far fewer words. Economy of words is a way to keep from losing control. Conversations are focused on actions, opinions, and positions. Feelings are deliberately avoided most of the time. Admitting that you were upset - to other men - is a sign of weakness, vulnerability. You can say "I don't like", "I hate it when...", or "I love it when...". These are terms for setting boundries, to state what you will and won't accept, what you expect of others, and what they can expect of you. Sharing feelings about people is something you can do with members of the opposite sex, and romantic interests, but is not something men would do with each other. Gossip in girl-world is just fun ways to bond. Gossip in guy-world can very quickly turn into violent confrontation for teens, and can have economic, social, or political consequences.


If you go fishing, put your own worm on the hook, plus your fishing partner if it's a GG.

Generally, guys don't even talk about the details like worms on hook, or baiting the hook, the conversation focuses on the victories or defeats, and the key turning points in the game. Men want to relive the moments when they felt most powerful and when their opponent was vulnerable and they exploited that vulnerability. Most men's sports and athletic training is based on one person or team competing directly against another person or team, where one MUST win and the other MUST lose. This was originally intended as part of the "President's council on physical fitness" to be training for military duty. The key objective was to make sure that by the time a boy was 18 years old, he would understand the notion of "Kill or be Killed" and could trained to kill ANYONE on command, including other men, women, children, even babies. This was because the military was aware that soldiers who did not obey such orders were often killed by children who threw hand grenades into the jeep or helicopter, the baby is wrapped with a claymore mine that will kill everyone within 200 feet when the bundle is moved, and the woman who seems to want to seduce the "GI Joe" - is really out to take him prisoner so he can be interrogated by the enemy, then killed.


If you see a ruckous or an arguement out in public, like a bar or concert or anywhere, and the aggressor then leaves, you turn to your friends and say, "I'd like to see that M*Fer say that to me".

Actually, you DON'T want to say that. Generally, in bars, especially later in the evening, there will always be more than a few men in the bars who want to

You can nod to your friends and say, quietly "What a jerk", quietly. You can make it clear that you don't condone the behavior (setting boundries), but don't turn it into an invitation for a fight with the next angry drunk - unless you are fully prepared to back it up, even to the point where one of you is unconscious. If someone does hit you, you need to be aware of your consequences. If you are there with a woman and you don't get up, you are allowing him to "move in", even if he's crazy, and do whatever he wants with her, until someone else confronts him. She will hate you if you can't protect her from someone who is really abusive. If you get up and fight back, you might lose, he might knock you out cold, but you will be respected by those who are watching. They will only help you AFTER you are no longer ABLE to get up.



Oh yeah, and when you pee at the house, leave the toilet seat up.

In the men's room, you should go directly past the urinals and wait for the next available stall. Make sure you make some sort of noise, a fart or grunt at least, so that people with THINK you are going BM. Use more toilet paper than you would as a woman, and make sure that you do flush it. If there is fluid of any kind on the seat, wipe it down with toilet paper, and make sure NOT to complain about the disgusting behavior. The only thing worse than a man who doesn't put the toilet seat DOWN when he's done going pee, is a man who doesn't put the seat UP BEFORE he starts going pee, and pees all over the seat. Not uncommon to see that in most public men's rooms, at least once a week, especially in movie theaters or road-side rest stops. One thing you should NEVER do is "Squat" with the seat down. If you use a seat cover, or make one from TP, make sure you flush it.

Other thing, NEVER speak to ANYONE in a men's room. Men avoid talking to other men in the men's room, because they are perceived as being gays looking for "fun" in the handicapped stall. We never meet them, but we read about them on the walls in nearly every stall. The writing is just homophobia, but the stigma and the fear is almost real.

Putting the seat up is only good if they hear the "water-fall" sound effects. Of course, there should also be splatter and bits of hair on the side of the bowel. The first second or two are very unpredictable. If you sit, then leave the seat down, but make some kind of noise like you are going #2. Normally, men ONLY sit when going #2, and will habitually TRY to #2 even if all they have in them is #1.

I've tried to describe not only the behaviors, but also the conditioning that goes into those behaviors. These are so deeply and fundamentally impressed that most men aren't even aware of them by the time they are adults. For at least 50 centuries, men have fought wars, defended against predators, hunted, and competed with others to support women. For men, sex is an overwhelming drive that motivates them to accomplish whatever it takes to prove that they can provide for a woman and her children for as long as necessary - in order to convince her that he is a good sexual partner. Unfortunately, too often, they lose interest soon after they have had their sexual experience, especially if it didn't live up to his expectations, or if her behavior afterward made it seem like the price was to high.

Men will go into the military, take hazardous duty where death is high probability, because they believe, and are told, that if they survive, they will have their choice of women. Often, before a key battle, the front-line troops were fixed up with girls who were willing to have sex with the soldiers - so that they would believe this lie. Most of those who survived were just sent to one battle after another, eventually being wounded severely or ending up with shell-shock, battle fatigue, or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

[the_shark]

Jesus. Thank you so much. I read that before I went to bed and let it soak in being the volume of information that it is and then read it again when I woke up. I can't thank you enough for putting that much time and effort into doing me this solid. Wow, I'm impressed. Awesome Debbie. I definitely get the whole violence thing because I was beat up a lot in elementary school for numerous reasons I just lost that sensing instinct in my teens. I'll watch for that. Anyway, thank you.

[Tracii G]

Some very good advice I have nothing to add.LOL
James Dean was the king of cool IMO so a fine male to pattern yourself after.
Good luck I'm sure you will do fine!

[Jane-C]

When in drab mode I tend or have been told that I'm very chivalrous I don’t mean the hot poker up you bum kind but as you mentioned opening doors car doors included and I always stand when a lady leaves the table and hold her chair when she sits down. I'm old school I guess. Just my 2 cents. ;)

Hugs,
Jane

[the_shark]

When in drab mode I tend or have been told that I'm very chivalrous I don’t mean the hot poker up you bum kind but as you mentioned opening doors car doors included and I always stand when a lady leaves the table and hold her chair when she sits down. I'm old school I guess. Just my 2 cents. ;)

Hugs,
Jane
I'd keep it old school as well. It's just the gentlemanly thing to do. Plus it makes the girl feel really good about herself.

[the_shark]

Some very good advice I have nothing to add.LOL
James Dean was the king of cool IMO so a fine male to pattern yourself after.
Good luck I'm sure you will do fine!

I'd agree! Although, I'm gonna sip the "die young" part and just "live fast" ;)

[Tracii G]

For sure we want you around here for along time Ha ha.

[the_shark]

For sure we want you around here for along time Ha ha.
Lol thanks Tracii. I'd hope I'm not annoying enough to wish death upon ha!

[Eryn]

I'd keep it old school as well. It's just the gentlemanly thing to do. Plus it makes the girl feel really good about herself.

I'm chivalrous in male mode (although I just call it "polite") and one disturbing thing I've found when I'm in female mode is how few men are actually that way! Still, it feels very good on the rare occasions when a gentleman holds a door for me!

Still, Adam, don't let that discorage you. Being gentlemanly adds tremendously to your presentation!

[Tracii G]

Eryn is right being a gentelman will only add to your charm.Some guys can't grasp the whole idea but you can be the classy guy that gets it!

[the_shark]

Thanks Eyrn and Tracii. I fully intend on being the classy guy. I'll keep chivalry alive and well. Not only do the girls like it, but it makes me feel more manly as well. so win win!

[RADER]

Debbiet;
Men will go into the military, take hazardous duty where death is high probability, because they believe, and are told, that if they survive, they will have their choice of women. Often, before a key battle, the front-line troops were fixed up with girls who were willing to have sex with the soldiers - so that they would believe this lie. Most of those who survived were just sent to one battle after another, eventually being wounded severely or ending up with shell-shock, battle fatigue, or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

What branch of the service where you in????
If you did not do what you where ordered to do, you either got a big Boot up your rear, or a firing squad.
Rader

[Tracii G]

In the military you do what you are told end of the story, battle fatigue everybody seemed to get it to some degree.365 and a wake up is all we had to look forward to.
Before a key battle they brought women in? I sure never saw that.No hanky panky allowed before a mission.
For me it was head to the ammo bunker and get my tools of the trade lay it out and prep mentally for the mission.

[TNRobin]

Well, my male siberian husky farts and occasionally belches. But my female does neither.

Not saying that anyone here is a dog, but it might be a start. :)

[LilSissyStevie]

Here's a good website for you. The Art Of Manliness:

http://artofmanliness.com/

Even a Nancy boy like me can learn a few tips there.

[the_shark]

Well, my male siberian husky farts and occasionally belches. But my female does neither.

Not saying that anyone here is a dog, but it might be a start. :)

Lol, thanks Helen :)

[the_shark]

Here's a good website for you. The Art Of Manliness:

http://artofmanliness.com/

Even a Nancy boy like me can learn a few tips there.
Thanks for the site nancy boy ;)

[Tracii G]

Thanks for the site nancy boy ;)

Ha ha you are too funny shark.

[the_shark]

Ha ha you are too funny shark.

Lol, thanks Tracii. Eh, must be a guy thing... ;)

[Tracii G]

Mr smartie pants sounds like to me.

[Anne2345]

Hi Adam! I love how polite you are, and how you express your sincere appreciation and gratefulness for all of the fantastic advice that has been offered to you in this thread! But stop doing that!!! Do not say thanks over and over again! Say it once, be done with it, then grunt in acknowledgement of anything else that follows!

[the_shark]

Hi Adam! I love how polite you are, and how you express your sincere appreciation and gratefulness for all of the fantastic advice that has been offered to you in this thread! But stop doing that!!! Do not say thanks over and over again! Say it once, be done with it, then grunt in acknowledgement of anything else that follows!
Lol! Haha, well, I figure I can be polite on the Internet but, if you say so than- haha *grunts* ;)

[RADER]

Lol! Haha, well, I figure I can be polite on the Internet but, if you say so than- haha *grunts* ;)

Shark; It is refreshing to see a new member with manners. Your feed back is interesting to others as to
see what you are thinking from all the information out there. I say you are rite on the mark, go man go.
Rader

[the_shark]

Shark; It is refreshing to see a new member with manners. Your feed back is interesting to others as to
see what you are thinking from all the information out there. I say you are rite on the mark, go man go.
Rader
Great! Yeah, I like people to know they're really doing me a solid. It's good it's appreciated.

[Tracii G]

Learn to be indifferent about things that is a guy trait too.LOL
If someone says "hey man did you see that" say "yeah I saw it" then go on with the conversation.LOL

[the_shark]

Learn to be indifferent about things that is a guy trait too.LOL
If someone says "hey man did you see that" say "yeah I saw it" then go on with the conversation.LOL

Lol, I see what you're getting at haha...

[kellycan27]

Give your b***s a good scratch when pondering a problem.:heehee:

[the_shark]

Give your b***s a good scratch when pondering a problem.:heehee:

Or just whenever I feel nessesary for that matter lol.

[kellycan27]

Or just whenever I feel nessesary for that matter lol.


Yup.. that will work too lol

[Tracii G]

Oh yeah the minor adjustments are a must but always do it on the sly.
Tight jeans keep the beast under control.LOL

[the_shark]

Oh yeah the minor adjustments are a must but always do it on the sly.
Hah, of course. I wouldn't want to walk up to a group of people greet them and then start fondling myself through my shorts lol. Or could I...? ;)

[ReineD]

but I'm just wondering if there are any specific dos and don'ts or just any other general advice on how to give off that male vibe so to speak without looking like I'm trying too hard.

Well, don't do what I did. My SO gave me pointers on how to walk like a guy and I looked like John Wayne who'd been riding his horse for three days straight. It was way too exaggerated, so much that my SO and I both laughed out loud. lol

It worked better when I kept my body the slightest bit more rigid and parted my legs a tiny bit more, like an inch.

And just so as not to misconstrue myself, I'm not FtM but was wanting to experience the challenge of adopting mannerisms that are not natural to me.


... oh, and the link below is pretty good. It's an animated walk model by Biolabs that you can slide between the two genders to see the differences. The mistake most people make is to believe they must walk waaay at either end of the scale, which is what makes it laughable in real life. Most people walk someplace in the middle, or slightly to the right or left of the middle.

Click on the "Lines" radio button at the bottom to see the walk more clearly, and there are also walks that reflect different moods:

http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html

[the_shark]

Well, don't do what I did. My SO gave me pointers on how to walk like a guy and I looked like John Wayne who'd been riding his horse for three days straight. It was way too exaggerated, so much that my SO and I both laughed out loud. lol

It worked better when I kept my body the slightest bit more rigid and parted my legs a tiny bit more, like an inch.

And just so as not to misconstrue myself, I'm not FtM but was wanting to experience the challenge of adopting mannerisms that are not natural to me.


... oh, and the link below is pretty good. It's an animated walk model by Biolabs that you can slide between the two genders to see the differences. The mistake most people make is to believe they must walk waaay at either end of the scale, which is what makes it laughable in real life. Most people walk someplace in the middle, or slightly to the right or left of the middle.

Click on the "Lines" radio button at the bottom to see the walk more clearly, and there are also walks that reflect different moods:

http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html
Hah thats awesome! I think I stared at it for like 3 minutes straight. Who knew dots could move like that?

[ReineD]

And I forgot, one of my sons brought a hard copy of this home a few years ago and honestly, I read it in disbelief. I thought it was a big joke but he confirmed that guys really act like this. They just don't do it in front of women. lol

http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html



Men tend to be very brief in their use of the sink (if they use it at all).
And then they come out and hold our hands? :eek:

[the_shark]

And I forgot, one of my sons brought a hard copy of this home a few years ago and honestly, I read it in disbelief. I thought it was a big joke but he confirmed that guys really act like this. They just don't do it in front of women. lol

http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html



And then they come out and hold our hands? :eek:
LOL! Hilarious, with some truth. Awesome thank you.

[Megan_Renee]

I am not sure if this has been posted, but it has definitely been apparent. Guys like to be helpful and right. If there is any kind of problem in the room, guys typically like to provide a solution to that problem. This is where a lit if the stereotypes about holding doors, or helping a lady to cross the street come from.

This is (I have been told) why I come across as effeminate; I prefer to defer... Especially to guys... Oh well!

[Tracii G]

ReineD the man code thing was so funny.LMAO.

[KaTanya]

It depends on what kind of man you want to present/live as. The subtleties for an "artiste" will be different for a "warrior-poet" or "pick-up artist" (note: the last one could lead to... interesting situations for you.)

as far as opening doors for ladies, not only have you been helpful and polite, it also gives oppurtunity to obseve another side of her ;) .

If possible, socialize with different types of men in different settings. This should help you learn the subtleties.

[mistunderstood]

I like to people watch. When I have to wait around I watch men and how they walk and talk to others plus I like to watch women as they go by.

[Tracii G]

Watching people is the best way I agree.

[Thera Home]

And I forgot, one of my sons brought a hard copy of this home a few years ago and honestly, I read it in disbelief. I thought it was a big joke but he confirmed that guys really act like this. They just don't do it in front of women. lol

http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html


And then they come out and hold our hands? :eek:



Don't forget..............I know all and fix all:heehee:

Thera

[kristinacd55]

[QUOTE=ReineD;2927974]And I forgot, one of my sons brought a hard copy of this home a few years ago and honestly, I read it in disbelief. I thought it was a big joke but he confirmed that guys really act like this. They just don't do it in front of women. lol

http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html


Didn't see anything about men never asking for directions?

[mbmeen12]

Pervade, walk, talk loud. Oh ya since of direction no maps hah! See my post is in the Alpha mode color...Flat earth colors...

[KaTanya]

Pervade, walk, talk loud. Oh ya since of direction no maps hah! See my post is in the Alpha mode color...Flat earth colors...You clearly have a problem with alpha males. You're entitled to such an opinion...

But filling young Adam's head with negative tropes about men is likely to have two conclusions:
1. He will become a bed-wetting self-loather who will never make any positive impact on the world around him.
2. He will become the kind of man you love to despise so much, as opposed to a cultured person who may find the strength to leave this world just a little better than the one he entered. That's a lose-lose proposition for Adam, for me,for the world, and yes, even you.

[mistunderstood]

First of all KaTanya lighten up. Mbeen12 comment was not any different than what others posted. There are just as many stereo types out there about women as there are about men. I will agree that we all need to try and leave this earth in a better place than in which we arrived.

[KaTanya]

I withdraw the "bedwetting" part.

@the_shark: As far as fighting goes, you don't have to fight to be a man, but knowing how to fight is definitely useful. I won't pretend to point out rules of thumb, because there are none. A challenge can come from anywhere, at anytime.

The good news? Learning how to fight is like a bank. The more you put into it, the more you'll get out of it, and those benefits will carry over into other areas of your life.

[mbmeen12]

Male Mannerisms?


Hey everyone. I got a question for ya. I've been told I can pass as a dude
pretty well from you fine folks but someone brought up something interesting,
mannerisms. This may seem like a no brainier or just stupid to all you lovely
mtf people out there, but I'm just wondering if there are any specific dos and
don't or just any other general advice on how to give off that male vibe so to
speak without looking like I'm trying too hard. Anyone with anything to offer is
more than welcome to answer this.
Thanks,
Adam


First of all KaTanya lighten up. Mbeen12 comment was not any different than
what others posted. There are just as many stereo types out there about women as
there are about men. I will agree that we all need to try and leave this earth
in a better place than in which we arrived.
Thank you misunderstood super moderator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The question posted /on the table is advice on a male vibe from @ shark whom we are profile friends on this site, KaTanya...No I don't have a problem, dam near close to being Alpha at any giving moment /time....but I'm the opposite of you, steel to silk. I feel the pain/empathy of anyone who is looking through the forest of life and only sees the trees, FTM MTF etc etc..

[Kate Simmons]

You just act like how you feel in your heart Adam.:)

[RADER]

A lot of people know that I was in Construction; That said, It sometimes like a Doctor at the party,
Everyone has a house ailment that needs fixing, and "Ask The Doctor" is the conservation of the
night. Now I did not want you to read "Time Life Books" all night, Because I found that 80% of men
can not use a screw driver. So be aware of the fact, and when asked "You know I have this problem"
You can truly say that is not my field of endeavor.
Shark, I do wish you luck, and lets us know anytime we can help.
Rader

[mistunderstood]

My mom thought a butter knife was just as good as a screw driver. I miss her.

[pickles]

Men don't think about their mannerisms - that's the trick - I would know.

[Angela Campbell]

I haven't seen it here, maybe I missed it but one of the golden rules of being a man is never touch another man other than a handshake if it is humanly possible. I don't even like to shake hands to tell the truth, but I am not really much of a man in a lot of ways. A man also is very careful about touching a woman, yes he loves to do so but will fear being thought of as too forward unless you know the woman very well.

Also a man will almost never keep his knees anywhere near each other. The farther apart the better.

[Julian]

Adam,

Mannerisms can only help you pass so much. The "male vibe" has more to do with being comfortable, confident, and not letting other people dictate how you act. Also, when you're drunk, you may tend to revert back to your old mannerisms, so make sure there isn't too sharp a difference. For example, I act a lot more *ahem* flamboyantly when I'm drunk. During the day I do my best to keep my hand motions and such in check, but I don't want to seem 'straight acting'. I'm me. I want to act like me. The whole point of this is so that I can behave in a way that's comfortable and makes sense for me and my personality. I'm a gay guy, I wear nail polish, and I move my hands whichever way I damn please. I suggest you do the same.

Also, FYI, a lot of my cis guy friends are WAY more 'feminine' or 'flamboyant' whatever you want to call it, than I am. You probably over-estimate the extent to which your mannerisms seem girly. I mean, I love My Little Pony and pink sparkles (love pink sparkles) as much as the next guy, but when I compare myself to my friends, I'm actually pretty manly. Develop your own way of acting like an adult and this will take you a lot farther than just copying the guys you see around town. Without jumping onto the unicorn bandwagon (although, it is fun up here with the unicorns), you are unique, and you have your own unique mannerisms that are uniquely you. Don't come all this way just so you can act like every douche bro in Philly. You're you. Own it.

[the_shark]

Adam,

Mannerisms can only help you pass so much. The "male vibe" has more to do with being comfortable, confident, and not letting other people dictate how you act. Also, when you're drunk, you may tend to revert back to your old mannerisms, so make sure there isn't too sharp a difference. For example, I act a lot more *ahem* flamboyantly when I'm drunk. During the day I do my best to keep my hand motions and such in check, but I don't want to seem 'straight acting'. I'm me. I want to act like me. The whole point of this is so that I can behave in a way that's comfortable and makes sense for me and my personality. I'm a gay guy, I wear nail polish, and I move my hands whichever way I damn please. I suggest you do the same.

Also, FYI, a lot of my cis guy friends are WAY more 'feminine' or 'flamboyant' whatever you want to call it, than I am. You probably over-estimate the extent to which your mannerisms seem girly. I mean, I love My Little Pony and pink sparkles (love pink sparkles) as much as the next guy, but when I compare myself to my friends, I'm actually pretty manly. Develop your own way of acting like an adult and this will take you a lot farther than just copying the guys you see around town. Without jumping onto the unicorn bandwagon (although, it is fun up here with the unicorns), you are unique, and you have your own unique mannerisms that are uniquely you. Don't come all this way just so you can act like every douche bro in Philly. You're you. Own it.
Hah, I like the usage of bro. My best friend uses 'bro' as a term to belittleing. And Philly douche isn't quite my style, I'm from Texas, but I hardly think Texas douche quite fits either. Whelp, looks like I'm gonna have to be a nice guy, damn ;)
But anyway, when you're drunk is an interesting subject. I don't exactly know what it is, but when I'm drunk I "pass" even better! I think it's because I'm so tense all the time my mussels relax a little after a few rounds of Jameson. But I don't mean to be a douche and waive your point. One can't act forever. But the point of this thread to me was to try something new perhaps. The lovely mtfs ask for makeup tips to enhance what they already have to give off a more feminine vibe, why can't I do the same? Enhance what I have for a desired result. And dude, unicorns are a soft spot with me- how ever would you of guessed? :)

[mistunderstood]

I find on the days I do not try to pass I acutely pass better. I do wear baggy clothes but not super baggy. I can not grow a beard real well so I just let it get to stubble and it works for me. I do not wear a binder even though I should but it works.

[Nicole Erin]

Here is a bit of advice that will catch me some hell but here it goes -
Men tend to respect other people's space. Women often do not respect personal space.
A man will move out of the way for a woman or another man. A man will honor someone's space.
A woman acts like she owns the place. You could be standing there, say trying to pick out a cereal and a woman would just nudge her ass in like you are not there. I hate this aspect of woman behavior.

Also as corny as it sounds, if you go to brocode.org - there are a lot of good rules for living as a man. You will notice a lot of these rules revolve around respecting someone's personal space (physical, emotional, or social "space")

Some of these rules might seem archaic (such as not being required to give birthday cards) but MEN understand. Men's and women's social codes are MUCH different in many ways. As I continue on my journey to become a woman and learn their behaviors, i am often shocked how they interact but this is what it means to live in a new gender role.

So, time to start learning the social aspects so you don't do something to look like a bitch before other bros ;)

Being a man is about giving and expecting respect. Women tend to expect it more than give it.

[April_Ligeia]

@the_shark: As far as fighting goes, you don't have to fight to be a man, but knowing how to fight is definitely useful. I won't pretend to point out rules of thumb, because there are none. A challenge can come from anywhere, at anytime.

The good news? Learning how to fight is like a bank. The more you put into it, the more you'll get out of it, and those benefits will carry over into other areas of your life.


Maybe a fight can come out of anywhere, but a bar full of twenty-something males after midnight is the most likely place. Bruce Lee said that the best way to block a punch is to not be there when it is thrown. Fighting is not a male behavior you will want to assimilate. Be careful, please do not get hurt. Because a fight hurts, even if you win. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't been in a fight.