So i'm actually pretty and it's getting harder to think i'm passing as a normal guy.

[Sarah27]

Warning this is a lot of rambling, sorry. So i've been taking hair skin and nails vitamins for about 6 months, growing my hair out for a few months, its below my eyes, i've lost about 70 pounds and my body shape is mostly feminine naturally. My skin is now flawless from the vitamins and moisturizers i've been using, and I shave everyday. I think people suspect something especially since I had to be at work a couple weeks ago early and I put on tinted moisturizer and powder after taking a shower and the night before I put on waterproof mascara and didn't know you needed a chemical to get it off. So I got to work and a girl looked at me and said it looks like your wearing makeup and eyeliner. Nothing has been said or done since and people act the same around me but I look in the mirror and I look incredibly androgenous. A customer that day though said I look "stunning and amazing" and said I should be a movie star. So I stopped using the tinted moisturizer and powder and waterproof mascara but still have that skin and hair that's perfect, and I work on my nails till they're shiny then try to scuff them a little so it's not noticeable. I honestly don't care what people think anymore to a point i'm not gonna go wearing girls jeans and a bra to work but I wish I could. I live with my parent's and brother and his gf and they all know but don't talk about it. It's like I push the limits of what I see people's reactions to and read them on that and if it's negative I back off that part of it and try to change other things and not tonight i'm wearing 2 tank tops a skirt with the tinted moisturizer and blush and I look in the mirror and think it's a girl, it's awesome and scary. What road have I taken, if not for having read so many stories of failure to purge and depression and such I might cut my hair off go to the gym and be a "normal" guy, and actually having experienced that twice, so i'm done and actually happier than ever regardless of what my coworkers think, and actually my family tonight told me that since I live in a huge gay town, even though i'm heterosexual but really attractive and pretty I could make a ton of money being a waiter in the gay bars so I could finish my Aerospace Engineering degree that i'm 34k in the hole for and get out of working at a grocery store at 27. If your still reading, sorry for the long post i've been drinking, lol.

[Sarah27]

And also i'm worried about posting a profile pic on here since it's open to the world, I would have to cover my face in it, lol.

[sometimes_miss]

Please don't fall under the pink fog; just because you enjoy the changes you see in yourself, don't forget and think that you're passing as a 'normal girl', just because you're no longer being seen as a 'normal guy'.

[Jolene Robertson]

Sarah, First don't get lost in the fog, it gets pretty thick sometimes. Second I know what you mean about who is looking back in the mirror (not that I look that good myself). Lastly you can post your picture in your profile and only members can see it, it's your Avatar that everyone sees.

Hugs
Jolene

[Katie83]

I think that as soon as any us of make an attempt to appear feminine it makes it harder to pass a just another normal guy. For example shaved legs, arms, under arms and body, plucked eyebrows. Then as you've mentioned the remains of stubborn eye make up! Just the other day i saw a photo of myself at christmas, as a male, immediately i noticed how feminine my eyebrows looked!! I'm sure others must see it too.
Also as far as avatar and profile photos go, i think the chances of being recognised through here are very small, someone would have to be looking for you, and then they'd have to explain to people why they themselves were on a crossdressing site in the first place!
Katie

[Cynthia Anne]

If you are happier then ever as you say then I wouldn't worry about what others think one bit! Sounds to me like you have found the person you were meant to be! Now live your dream as you see fit and stay happy! Hugs!

[Sara Jessica]

I honestly don't care what people think anymore...


And also i'm worried about posting a profile pic on here since it's open to the world, I would have to cover my face in it, lol.

Danger Will Robinson, contradiction here.

[STACY B]

Put up a pic ,,, If I were you as hard as it is to look good like some of us know it is ,, I would change jobs an get my own place to live an dont worry about what others think cuz they sure as hell dont worry about what you think ,, An like she said its CD site ,,What the hell are they doing here ?

[dsmth]

I'm thinking that since I've started to let my hair grow longer I've been mistaken more and more as a girl/woman/madam when dressed as a male(!). I know that is only true from certain perspectives over short time spans. As I'm still called "bro" or dude or whatever when people see me straight from the front when dressed male. (Apart from a recent outing I've had, I never go out dressed as female). But I'm wondering too what's happening... where will I be next year down this path? I think that hair length is a major contributing factor to some changes I feel that are happening now to me. I don't want to cut my hair short again. I also don't want to loose my wife. But she knows and accepts me so far.

One thing that seems to be happening a lot lately is men holding doors open for me. I am embarrassed every time this happens. And I wonder what they think when (if?) they realize their mistake and are embarrassed themselves so I end up feeling embarrassed for them too. It makes walking around going through doors a potentially stressful experience. So much so that I anticipate if it is likely to occur and try to avoid the situation. But that doesn't always work.

Yesterday after I left work and headed down the elevator with my bike. There were 2 others in the elevator: a man and a shorter younger woman. After reaching the ground floor I got off with my bike and so as to avoid any door holding issues I stayed near the elevator doors instead of following the others to the outside. I pretended to have to check something from my bag. I waited until they'd both walked outside (and because I was busy pretending to look in my bag I couldn't tell if he held the door for the woman or not). So as the door started to close I must have started walking to the door but then out of the corner of the man's eye (who had just walked out the door) he must have seen my movement. He catches the door before it closes. At this point I'm still over 40feet away so I try to wave him off my my hands (and I can't help but to be smiling). But doesn't work! Still the door was held until I got through it. I said thanks! But inside I was laughing at the craziness of the situation: how I was afraid of exactly this happening and it happened. Remember I was dressed normally as a male. It probably was just a coincidence. He must have known I was male. But then why am I getting a disproportional amount of door holding than I would guess that pure random coincidence would allow for?

I do not think that I would/could pass as a woman if dressed as one on the street but with this kind of behaviour I'm starting to wonder if that's not so true, if I were to try hard enough. It's like... if I'm already being mistaken as a girl sometimes when dressed male (even if only from behind me or out the corner of people's eyes) then is it such a big deal if I actually dress like one and meet them head-on? Probably the answer is yes. That is, it is probably still a big deal. That's why I'm not doing it. So far.

[bridget thronton]

On the campus where I teach people hold doors open for one another regardless of the genders of either party, I like that

[RachelB.]

Holding a door is common courtesy, male or female. Just relax and enjoy the courtesy. It is something we need more of in today's society!!!

[Sara Jessica]

Holding a door is common courtesy, male or female. Just relax and enjoy the courtesy. It is something we need more of in today's society!!!


On the campus where I teach people hold doors open for one another regardless of the genders of either party, I like that

Interesting tangent. But in this gender binary society of ours, isn't there a different way to hold a door open depending on whether you're doing so for a male or female?

For example, (a) for a female the guy would take the door handle and pull it back, standing out of the way to allow the woman to walk through the doorway before he does. (b) For another guy, he might step into the doorway but hold the door back with his hand, waiting for the dude to take the door himself.

I guess one could easily do method (b) for a female but wouldn't it feel kind of silly to take that step back and let another guy in the door before you? Unless of course you held it for a female and then a herd of men and women immediately followed.

Who knew so much could be interpreted by simply holding a door open for another???


I'm thinking that since I've started to let my hair grow longer I've been mistaken more and more as a girl/woman/madam when dressed as a male(!). I know that is only true from certain perspectives over short time spans...One thing that seems to be happening a lot lately is men holding doors open for me. I am embarrassed every time this happens. And I wonder what they think when (if?) they realize their mistake and are embarrassed themselves so I end up feeling embarrassed for them too.

And this has happened to me several times of late...see method (a) above. The oddity of it didn't really occur to me until I read these comments. The long hair is certainly that initial visual cue and the a-ha moment on the guy's part who holds the door open must be priceless!


Put up a pic ,,, If I were you as hard as it is to look good like some of us know it is ,, I would change jobs an get my own place to live an dont worry about what others think cuz they sure as hell dont worry about what you think ,, An like she said its CD site ,,What the hell are they doing here ?

Yeah Stacy, that's pretty much what I was saying in a roundabout way. I am so very interested to see this vision of pretty.

[ElleduSud]

To dsmith, "Yesterday after I left work and headed down the elevator with my bike. "

Maybe they see that you have your hands full already with a bicycle, and that is why they're holding doors for you.

[Annaliese2010]

It's ok. Cover your face but lets see! :)

[TxCassie]

Sarah, You are very brave. It's awesome to see someone so young find themselves so well. I know you have questions and confusions, thus,the Pink Fog emerges. What is the saying, "Reach for the stars but keep your feet on the ground." While it's true, you may not be a "normal guy", but that alone is exciting to us TGals. We can't be "normal guys". The conflict with the "normal guy" syndrome is that most of can and do have the ability and capability to appear to be a "normal guy" and live as a "normal guy". Your statement about going back to the gym tells me that you know you can very easily slip into that male persona. you are able to do this because, fundamentally, you know you are male and have the resources in you to be a "normal guy". But, is that who you really want to be, who you are really and truly? Only you can answer that question. Be happy with yourself. When you look in the mirror, are you at home looking at the face of a "normal guy" as beautiful as you may be in that persona, or are you most happy looking in that mirror, seeing your flawless skin and your beautiful feminine self.

In saying all that, keep your feet on the ground and always know the reality of your situation. Today, you are male. Our society in general regulates the masculine and feminine strictly. Not to say there are not pockets of acceptance. You've found that already in your family, seems to a degree, at your workplace. But remember, there's a big world out there and acceptance of your feminine side may not be always accepted in the extreme. Take care of yourself and always be aware of your situation,, most of all, Love yourself.

Cassie :love:

[lexie89]

Pretty ? then you must share with the rest of us that are not that pretty :heehee:

[Tracii G]

Don't worry post a pic its safe here.That is a common fear at first but come on who is going to see you?
Your guy friends? Nope and if they do just ask why were you here in the first place?
Man up lets see that pretty face.

[Stephanie47]

If you live in a town with a large gay population, and, you are very pretty, I'd say dress up and waitress at a gay establishment. I don't know if the wages and tips would be more than you are earning now, but, it may be a lot more fun. Life calls for a lot of balance. I don't know if I would push the 'pink fog' in the aero space industry, if I could act out in a more accepting environment. Actually, in someone's previous thread of 'dream jobs' I said I would love to have been able to waitress in a white blouse, black skirts, hosiery and heels.

[Marleena]

I don't know what to say here except I wish I was pretty too.:)

[katie_barns]

Holding a door is common courtesy, male or female. Just relax and enjoy the courtesy. It is something we need more of in today's society!!!

I love when men hold the door for me when dressed in public. I always thank them even when I know they just wanted to get a better look at the tranny freak.

[Marleena]

:)

GAWD! This whole thread reminds me of one thing and one thing only:

I FEEL PRETTY


Lol..I love that song clip from the Anger Management. It makes me laugh every time!

[kimdl93]

For the recored, its ok to PUI (post under the influence), so long as your still understandable. I think you've achieved that. And you probably didn't mean this as a deep evaluation of your future, but based on what I've read, my question is, where are you going? Do you envision going farther, presenting fully en femme? Ever considered transitioning? These are questions you might ask yourself and a future SO will certainly want to know.

And as you've described yourself, it seems you're making overt efforts to express your femininity. And it seems to be working. Your' family seems to be tolerating, perhaps even accepting of your choices to some degree. You are fairly young, still living with parents and siblings, but soon out on your own. Plus you've apparently made someprogress towards a degree in engineering. Are you still in school?

I know you're not looking for advice, but if you're open to the suggestion, maybe working in a bar would be a better way to make money than the grocery...and maybe you could wrap up that degree and start a life of your own...living as you wish to live. Best of luck!

[Clorissa]

Long hair on smooth facial skin is the best combination for beauty, male or female. My dermatologist has recommended a daily skin maintenance regime that uses a cleanser that sets on the face for a few minutes. I then clean this off to remove some of the older surface skin. This is to stimulate growth of younger healthier cells from below. After cleaning, eye liner moisturizer is applied, then a separate facial skin moisturizer. I have ordered the facial maintenance kits over the internet. They are not available in the drug store. Also, the baldness preventative medication finasteride does help to make the facial skin softer but thinner.

Being clean shaven every day, I still identify as a guy at work with the ponytail and a buttoned down shirt. If you have an engineering degree, I’m sure you can find work keeping long hair in a ponytail. I use the gym to maintain tone, not to overbuild myself. But at home the ponytail comes off and my hair flows out over nice looking facial skin. The facial maintenance creams has been a real improvement.

[Annaliese2010]

Pretty ? then you must share with the rest of us that are not that pretty :heehee:You do yourself injustice, Lexie. You're pretty! Plus you have a hot name. Plus you're from Bucharest, Romania. Add it all up, girl... and that makes you alluring. A misty beauty like the cloud enshrouded Carpathians.

[bobbimo]

I agree with many of the posters, that you need to let the pink fog settle.
Its all so exciting right now, and you should let things even out.
DONT cut your hair.
Ponytails are quite acceptable and you will really love the look that you get with your pretty features and natural hair. The long hair is a bit of a pain to maintain, with washing and the KNOTS. and it blowing in your face.
But its a great feeling.
Are you looking to transition or are you happy as CD?
Bobbi