Ever try "finding a spot"?

[~Joanne~]

This question is for the closeted dressers (or maybe even seasoned dressers in the beginning) that want to fulfill that urge to be out but not be seen.

Have you ever found a spot where you could get out of the car and walking around a bit, feeling the breeze and such, hearing the clicks of your heels on the pavement, and have those few moments to yourself?

I know it's been said that it's not a good idea to go out alone, especially at dark, but sometimes You have to throw caution into the wind though I am not saying go do it though.

I personally have drove out into the country once or twice and have walked a little on the back roads...not fully enfemme, more like hose and heels just to kill the urge or feed the sensation, depending on how you look at it. The problem is finding paved ones but there are a few.

Once I went to the cemetery fully enfemme just to walk around but it didn't last long as I was way too nervous. I went to one where family is buried in case someone asked but was terrified that I would run into family. The funny part is I have ever considered this one trip as being out for whatever reason.

[Lainie]

Long ago, in a land far away (the Hague), I went out very late at night a few times. Once climbed out the window of my hotel room onto the roof just below. Broad space, gravel on tar. No one there, but I might have been seen by people in rooms on higher floors. Also out in the street in the middle of the night, around the circle where the little hotel was--no clerk at the desk, just me & my key. Last couple of visits I've gone out to coffee shops & restaurants, chatted with people in sidewalk cafes. Much, much better.

[katie_barns]

I use to go to the parks. [During day] it seemed there was always a place I could sit and read without being bothered.
What you will find out in time is that in most public places [where it is safe], nobody really cares how you dress. I also just to go to the movies. During the day, or at night during the week they are not crowded and once you get pass the ticket booth. You sit in a dark theater for a couple hours just enjoying being yourself.

[reb.femme]

I'll let you know later this week as I'm on a business trip and in a hotel for 3 days.
Well away from where I'm known, I intend to get out and about a bit. :daydreaming:

I've chosen my outfits, shoes, hair and makeup and ready to see if I can beat the fear. Got to brave the reception first, maybe the evening meal and then the 4- 5 hour trip home, completely en femme too. :)

Rebecca x

[linda allen]

Outdoor shopping malls before they close, but after dark are OK if you're afraid to be seen in daylight. The advantage to daylight is, you can wear large sunglasses to hide your identity. The same shopping malls, parks, the beach in the off season when it's cooler, even walking the downtown tourist or business district is good. You can hide in a crowd. There are so many people, all going about their business, that you won't be noticed and if you are, who cares?

[Tracii G]

Katie is right on. Find a park because that is one of the best places to go when you are first starting to go out.
People will be far enough away the is no way they could tell.
I still do the park thing every now and then.Pack a lunch or stop on the way its really relaxing and very safe.

[Allisa]

I have found that a museum,the larger ones in the bigger cities,are great for being alone in a crowd.They are climate controlled,quiet and the people there are more accepting and there is always something to take your mind off your clothing and just be yourself,and you always learn something new.And talk about the click-click of heels on marble floors in an open quiet space WOW.

[docrobbysherry]

Good post, Joanne! Reminds of my first psych class! "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it fall, does it make a sound?" (One reason I quit being a psych major by the way!)

So, for CDs, if no one sees u when you're out, does it COUNT? Just like the psych question, each person's answer may be different, but CORRECT!

(For me? Doesn't count!)

[lingerieLiz]

My favorite was on a mountain top that overlooked a beautiful skyline. Standing there in a polyester dress with a full skirt letting the wind blow it up and feeling the breeze against my smooth legs as I pushed it back down.

Eat your hearts out!

[Dusty815]

I drove my wife from store to store the other day while dressed but did not go in the stores, that will be a big step. I would like to find a place to "practice" without running into someone I know, my wife suggested that on our next vacation we can bring some of my clothes and go out. I suppose I am afraid of someone saying something although I really shouldn't care but I guess part of this process is facing up to and overcoming your fears. I truly love dressing up and will someday take that step. It is nice to have somewhere to talk about these things.

[StephanieJ]

About 15 years ago I had a similar experience. I got dressed up late one night and went to a strip mall, pretending to be window shopping. About 200 yards from my car, I came around a corner and almost bumped a middle aged woman. I was so startled that I turned and practically ran back to my car. In hindsight, it would have been better to stay calm and keep walking, but at the time all I could think of was getting the heck out of there.

It took several years before I got up the courage to it again and gradually ventured out to a park near my office. One evening about 11 PM I was sitting on a park bench in a black dress just reading, when two bicycle cops rode past. This time I froze, not knowing what to do. The whole thing seemed like it happened in slow motion, when one of them looked right at me and just said, "good evening." Phew... I was so relieved. We live in a small town I had no idea what would have happened if they stopped to question me.

Have only been out a couple times since. I agree that it is fun to "feed the sensation" as you so eloquently put it, but I'm still in a cautionary mode.

[Brittany CD]

My neighbourhood is a pretty good place to walk around. It's a quiet place and not much disturbance.

[CD Tammy]

I love parks. But I like to slip into them after dark. The park driveway will be closed so chances of discovery are lower. I love the feeling as I walk.

Tonight, I got brave. I'm staying in a hotel in Birmingham on business. The pool is an outdoor pool. Since the lighting down there isn't really great, I put on my nudest shade of hose and my male swim trunks. I went swimming for a while. In the water you couldn't tell. Just as I was planning to get out three very attractive women came in for a swim. I stayed in the pool for another hour until they left. No one was the wiser but I was sure enjoying it.

[suzy1]

I have a friend that owns a country estate in Hampshire [U.K.] and I go there to keep an eye on it when he is abroad.
He is going away today [Tuesday] for 5 days so I will have the place to myself. Lots of country walks in heels and a swishy summer dress.
I could try to explain the feel of the breeze under my skirt as I walk along but I am sure you can imagine it for yourself girls.
I just love being a girl!

SUZY

[linda allen]

I love parks. But I like to slip into them after dark. The park driveway will be closed so chances of discovery are lower. .

But the police may be checking it for people who don't belong there or are doing something illegal (drugs, drinking, sex in public, etc.). I would rethink that choice.

[linda allen]

I drove my wife from store to store the other day while dressed but did not go in the stores, that will be a big step. I would like to find a place to "practice" without running into someone I know, my wife suggested that on our next vacation we can bring some of my clothes and go out. I suppose I am afraid of someone saying something although I really shouldn't care but I guess part of this process is facing up to and overcoming your fears. I truly love dressing up and will someday take that step. It is nice to have somewhere to talk about these things.
If your wife suggested that, why wait until your next vacation? Hop in the car and drive to a town or city and couple hours away where you don't know anyone. If you don't have a problem getting in or out of your own home or neighborhood, you can be dressed the entire time. Have her drive just in case you get stopped or have a problem.

[Beverley Sims]

Good post, Joanne! Reminds of my first psych class! "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it fall, does it make a sound?" (One reason I quit being a psych major by the way!)
So, for CDs, if no one sees u when you're out, does it COUNT? Just like the psych question, each person's answer may be different, but CORRECT!
(For me? Doesn't count!)

When I started I used quiet places. This did not add to my confidence, when I started doing more populated places the confidence went up very quickly.
You do have to start somewhere though.:)

[NicoleScott]

To me, being out but not seen is like staying home. My desire was to be seen but not "caught". I stayed on the fringes of public presence, being seen but never getting to far from the safety of my car or the shadows. Eventually, I was able to go into shops and a tg-friendly club. Having done that and liked it, I'm pretty happy staying in most of the time.

[~Joanne~]

Some really good insights and ideas in the thread though I personally am not looking for a spot myself but in the past i have and wondered if anyone had done the same. Funny thing is the other day I went down the wrong road on my way to my destination and ended up in a fairly secluded area and the first thing that came to mind wasn't "damn, dead end" but " this would make a great spot to be dressed and not seen " :)

Doc sherry had a really good response with the tree in the woods and basically having a spot to go walk is the same concept. While I know it certainly defeats the purpose of getting out, it is a small step for a closeted CD that may lead to a larger one or maybe that same CD might not want to be out as bad as she thought and will remain in the closet.

I think my desire at this point is the same as Nicole's......be seen but not caught or clocked. With halloween coming around again, I find that desire to get out there again and at least on that holiday, being clocked doesn't matter.

[Veronica27]

Good post, Joanne! Reminds of my first psych class! "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it fall, does it make a sound?" (One reason I quit being a psych major by the way!)



I always assumed that the "noise" was there, until I saw this questioned from a physics viewpoint rather than a psychological one. It seems that all the tree does is create the vibrations that are picked up by the listener as "sound". So in the absence of any functioning ears, there is no sound. The article failed to say whether animals, birds or insects should be included in "no one", if you'll pardon the oxymoron. I guess this is why I skipped both psych and physics and took accounting. More down to earth, again, if you'll pardon the pun.

Veronica

[KlaireLarnia]

I'll let you know later this week as I'm on a business trip and in a hotel for 3 days.
Well away from where I'm known, I intend to get out and about a bit. :daydreaming:

I've chosen my outfits, shoes, hair and makeup and ready to see if I can beat the fear. Got to brave the reception first, maybe the evening meal and then the 4- 5 hour trip home, completely en femme too. :)

Rebecca x


This is when I do most of my dressing. Though I can and do dress in female clothes in the house and to a limited degree in public. If I am away on business the drive to/from where ever I am going and my time in the hotels I am always in female clothes. Looking at your photo you appear to try and pass as female which is something I don't - so it is one hurdle I don't have to overcome/face, but I do enjoy the ability to wear what I want and look how I want without worrying if anyone I know will see me.

Freedom (as a wise robot once said) is the right of all sentient beings :)

[ABBY_L]

This spring I spent a wonderful evening in Long Beach at a, quite well lit, park overlooking the ocean near the Queen Mary. Although the park was deserted, I felt very secure and comfortable. It allowed me many photo ops, which I took full advantage of. It was such a gorgeous evening and it was so delightful to feel the ocean breeze on my legs and under my dress and the gentle tousling of my hair on my neck and shoulders. I was amazed at how totally feminine I felt as I leisurely strolled the sidewalk listening to the soothing tapping of my heels. I was so… totally enjoying the experience I hated for it to end, but I did get some great pics and will post at some point. The evening before, I had taken a stroll on a pier enfemme, and after taking several pics of myself, was approached by a gentleman on a bike. He was quite friendly and said he noticed that I had been taking pics of myself and commented on how nice I looked and wondered if I would like him to take more pics of me. I politely declined his offer, but he then reiterated how great I looked, even though he said he knew I was a guy (I really was very passable except for the obvious Adam thingy). He wished me a good evening and rode off. I returned to my motel, feeling an obvious high. I parked the car and as walked back to my room, passed several people in the parking lot and I’m sure I was not read. These experiences greatly increased my confidence and ability to blend and desire to get out more.

[Jaymees22]

Hi Miss Joanne, There are many small parks near were we live, so I go and walk around during the week hardly anyone is there. Then I take a picture of myself to prove I went out. I've been to the drugstore and the supermarket in nearby towns, I'm pretty sure I got read at the supermarket, my black fingernails probably did me in. Oh well, cheap thrills and I lived to tell about it. More adventures to come, I'll have to dress down more, I have a compulsion to be stylish not the best way to go unnoticed...Hugs Jaymee

[Stephanie47]

My get out of the car walks have been in the evening in very safe residential areas. I usually went when it was rainy and used an umbrella to shield my masculine face. The area of town had a shopping area, so I carried a small grocery bag. My first venture were with heels, which really hurt my feet after a half hour of walking. The clicking of the heels could also draw unwanted attention. So, I bought a nice pair of flat with a sole that would not making any noise. After awhile the trips really got boring. It became one step beyond "All dressed up with no place to go!" It became "All dressed up, out of the house, and still no place to go!"

[Veronica27]

After awhile the trips really got boring. It became one step beyond "All dressed up with no place to go!" It became "All dressed up, out of the house, and still no place to go!"

The closet just keeps getting a bit larger, but it is still a closet. I wouldn't describe my feelings so much as boring, but rather confining or limiting. There are so many things I want to do and places I want to go, but necessity keeps me in my own closet when I crossdress and I face the frustration of the inevitable choice between crossdressing or getting on with my life. My "out" times have been highly controlled situations, such as a walk in the woods by my property, a midnight car ride, or taking the chance of sitting on my deck. The deck is somewhat secluded but the privacy can be readily breached as there are no fences or gates. I have attended several CD events, but the closet is just temporarily enlarged.

I have reached a stage where crossdressing needs a purpose, but finding one is very difficult, especially for a non-TG oriented crossdresser.

Veronica

[Sarah Doepner]

One of the first places I went, other than the back yard at 2:00AM, was a strip mall early on a Sunday morning before any of the shops opened. It was daylight and I was able to wander around and window shop without the disadvantage of having to mingle. Veronica has pretty much the same view as I do about going out in controlled situations or to most CD events. It makes the closet much larger. Eventually, if you want and your experiences have been good, you break out of the closet altogether, but there are some great, safe middle steps that can be taken and you can stop at any time you feel your comfort level has been exceeded. Go your own pace, pick and choose and always remember the goal is to enjoy yourself. This isn't a competition and you are the only one you need to please.

[Angela Campbell]

I am staying in a hotel today and got brave. I actually left the room and went down the hall and got a drink from the machine. Wow. Exciting even though I. Didn't see any one. I was shaking for a half hour.

[sherri]

There are tons of places if you just get out in your car and start looking. One idea I enjoy is window shopping the antiques district on Sunday when the shops are closed.

[GinaD]

Hey Abby.
I know that park. Be careful. I have run into a few not so nice people there.

[ABBY_L]

Thanks for your concern Gina. I probably won't ever get back there again and I did play it pretty safe and didn't venture too far from my car. I know parts of LB can be iffy and was aware of that, but it was such a beautiful evening and I will never forget it!

[Sharon B.]

I have taken my mail to a post office after hours to mail always love to hear my heels on their floors.

[Kaz]

Hi Joanne,

I guess it depends on where you live and the facilities, etc. In the UK we have what we call designer centres and shopping centres.. they are like Malls but on a small scale and they tend to have big car parks. You can get out and walk about and not be really visible to Joe public.. though the CCTV will nail you! I live in Yorkshire, which is quite rural, and has car parks in the countryside... At twilight city centre car parks here are OK, but again there is always the CCTV issue - but I have given up on that. If want to peek, what the heck. I do tend to stay away from my home town though!

The best for me is when I stay away for work... that is when Kaz really comes out to play!

But the feeling of being outside in a skirt is just awesome!

[cathie pantyhose]

one of the many reasons I moved back to Colorado...so much space to just do....I take walks in skirts and hose and never see another person, stop along the hundreds of road side rivers and sit while dressed fully fem. very few cars stop at the same spot and everyone is too focused to not driving off the edge to notice.

[Angela Campbell]

I just have the irrational fear someone will see me and figure out I am a cd and will cause the swat team to surround me and put me on the news.....

[~Joanne~]

I just have the irrational fear someone will see me and figure out I am a cd and will cause the swat team to surround me and put me on the news.....

I don't think this is likely to happen but I do understand the fear, just as I understood the rush from your other post in this thread. It wasn't a major outting but it sure felt like one :)

Kaz, I wish we had car parks around here but unfortunately we don't. That would be a really great spot to walk a bit as long as they are unattended.