What's the allure to being a woman?

[the_shark]

So, I'm an ftm and honestly, I don't get what the allure is to wanting to be a girl. What are the positive points to being female? Because I just don't seem to see them.

[RADER]

Yes I can understand your question; What does the other side have that I do not have.
I see you like the Idea of being strong, dominant, powerfully, in short manly trites.
I guess with me anyway, I like the Idea of wearing pretty clothes, looking nice, not
DAB nice, but feminism nice.
When you see a pretty girl, she is the attention of the room. I know I will never reach
that goal in a million years, but I can dream, and put on a nice dress and enjoy the moment.
Some here have been fortunate to go on to full transitions to being a female, Other's can
only live the life they wanted to by dressing full time. They have the body type to be able to
achieve this goal. I myself have the body of a lumberjack; Great for cutting wood, but I would
look like a cartoon in a dress outside of this house. My wife understands my desires, and is
OK with my dressing. and even under dressing.
I wish you a lot of luck; Shark, you are able to look like a handsome young man, You know what a
feeling inside that gives you. It is much the same on the other side of the street, If you can get
my meaning.
I hope this answers some of your questions, I know your question will bring many responses.
Hugs
Rader

[Amy Fakley]

Let me just say, that I'm really looking forward to reading the responses in this thread.

When you put the question like that, I honestly can't answer.
When I'm in girl mode, I just feel "mo' right", I guess ... like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle is put in place, and then the whole picture of me makes more complete sense than it did before. Maybe it's just that internally, I'm a soft, vulnerable person who is more in-line with female stereotypes than male stereotypes.

Society completely disdains males with those traits, and also being a product of this society, I've managed to internalize that conflict ... there's a symbolic mismatch ... the label doesn't represent the contents ... like a "sad clown" (those gimme the heebie jeebies) ... when I get in girl mode, it sort of temporarily re-aligns my outward appearance with what I feel inside, and then I don't feel the discomfort of the symbolic mismatch maybe.

Or maybe I'm just thinking about it too much and I just like dresses and being pretty, LOL.

As a MtF who can't understand what anyone could find alluring about being a dude ... is it okay for me to ask the same question of you? What on Earth could you possibly find attractive about being a dude?

[Amy R Lynn]

For me its a comfort thing. I feel more comfortable being all dolled up and pretty. I think there is a part that has to do with the attention that Women rrecieve too. When a beautiful woman enters a room, everyone looks. Plus there are so many more options available to women. Men just wear jeans, shirt, sometimes no style to their hair. It is just very dull. I love the colors, the smells, and feeling of being pretty. Not sure if that answers your question or not. Maybe we could trade bodies! LOL :tongueout

[kimdl93]

Youre asking the wrong question, really. The motivation or need to be a woman, for those of us who are transgendered comes from deep inside. It may be something genetic or influenced by hormones during fetal development, or both. Whatever it is, it made me feel that need to express my feminine nature. It is not as though I was attracted to women's clothes by observation and envy...It's just who I am. Isn't that also true for you?

[Kristy_K]

That for me is a hard question to answer. In the begin maybe it was the pretty clothes and makeup. As a man I was always very uncomfortable and very ashamed of myself in everyday life. As a child I always wanted to be a girl and do the things other girls did. Most woman are more honest with each other. That is something I don't see in men.

This question I will think on and see what else I come up with.

I also never thought I could be a woman because of my height and shape. But as for now I just feel so much more natural as a woman. I know I am not pretty and won't make guys look twice at me but I am happy now.

Good luck with you quest. I am sure you will get some wonderful answers.

[Laura912]

Aha! This explains a lot. When we were in line for bodies during the Formation, You got mine!! :D. How do you feel when you become male?

[kellycan27]

The allure? It's just what I am, it's how I was born. How else can I explain it?

[Lorileah]

*thinking of a brutally honest answer*:thinking: Probably many of the reasons you don't? One of the biggest thing for me is that when I am in femme mode I am popular, outgoing, happy, friendly, more relaxed, more open. I am also an attention...well you know... like being noticed and I am. I am everything I wanted with a girl when I was in my teens and twenties. I am "me". Even people who know me in both modes say that.

We all tend to focus on the not so good aspects of who we are in daily life and to be honest I would not want some of the things that go with being a female (make your own decisions here). You see being a guy as all the good things that go with it and guys DO have more perks (what was the song if I were a boy I'd roll out of bed..."). At my age I get the majority of perks women who have been around get. I don't get the hassle of having to fend off guys or having the physical things once a month (or after 9 months). I don't have to fight for a job that pays less or get disrespected in that same workplace.

Mostly, it is just "something" that feels right. You know the feeling but in the opposite direction. Hard to really put a name on it. Just something inside. An inner spark? :idontknow:

[Gaby2]

Well Shark... to be... or not to be... a woman? ... a man?
allure... ?
attraction... ?

Since my final purge, about four years ago, I've built up a collection of feminine wear (mostly dresses).
A dress sometimes begs me to put it on... or so it seems to me...
Daft, huh?

I don't have a choice, as far as I can tell.
Cloths (i.e., what the world describes as "feminine clothing") choose me... and always have!

Does that help you?
:hugs:Gaby

[Cynthia Anne]

I have to agree with kim! Nothing allures me! It's just the way I feel inside that I should be a woman! True I love the clothes etc. but my mind seems to belong to a female so my body should look like one!

[Kate Simmons]

Not sure, it's kind of an odd phenomenon. Even having put the CDing on the shelf recently in favor of a new GG relationship, I feel it's like learning to ride a bike, you never forget how regardless of how long it's been. IN short, it's a part of me I can choose to display or not--just being myself.:)

[Jorja]

Allow me to answer with a question. What is the allure to you wanting to be a man?

[Jolene Robertson]

Great question. For me I enjoy everything feminine, the choices in clothing, shoes, hair styles, jewelry and accessories, plus the makeup and the way it transforms your appearance. I have and continue to enjoy the perks of being a GM and do not wish to become a full time woman but once in a while it is who I am. Women are treated and communicate more honestly than men who always have to protect their MACHO image even when they don't feel like it. Hell I even played semi-pro football for a couple of years (during the NFL strike had the chance to play for the Bengals, wide receiver). The guys were always out to prove how tough they were, it wasn't about playing as a team it was always about ME!
When younger I had more female friends than male, while I could fight with the best of them I preferred playing with the girls. I love the feeling of being a women even if only in my own mind. My communication with my wife and others is more honest and open because as a woman I feel the same need for false pretense, nothing to prove, just be me.

Hugs
Jolene

Hugs
Jolene

[Marleena]

I did my time as a guy and the kids are grown, now it's time to feel right.:)

[Kelli Ca]

Good question what's the allure to being a guy? Lol. Hell I just lie the clothing choices the softness selection, comfort, women clothes are so good looking, a nice pair of heels over sneakers anyday

[GinaD]

When I was young and would actually look "pretty" when I dressed, I got much more attention and was actually treated nicer by the guys that were attracted to me than when I was a guy looking for attention from girls. I guess I was more social as a "girl", if that makes any sense at all.

[Being Paige]

I have to agree with kim! Nothing allures me! It's just the way I feel inside that I should be a woman! True I love the clothes etc. but my mind seems to belong to a female so my body should look like one!

I also must agree with Kim, I don't think I could have answered any better then this.

[Charleen]

I thought we'd have a variety of answers that ranged a broad spectrum of CDing. Seems there a number that feel the way I do. Born this way. The wrong way. I know I should have been born a female.

[ReluctantDebutant]

I always hear thats its to relieve the stresses of being male. I don't know about that, I've never felt too stressed being male.

Its like I guess owning a truck. Its good its practical you can haul things with it. But you see commercials and watch movies the feature real fast sporty race cars. You think those have got to be fun to drive once in a while.

[Suzy Parker]

What's the allure to being a woman?

Never thought about it....I like being a man.....I just like to dress in womens clothing.

[Kyndrie]

I don't remember wanting to dress like a girl as a kid. Sometimes I have bouts of gender identity dysphoria and entertain thoughts of transitioning. I think my desire is more a product of extreme self-loathing. My childhood was not a happy one to put it mildly and I theorize that I may have created some form of secondary personality, one that is the most opposite of what I am, as a coping mechanism. When I dress I can relax. I can become someone else. The more feminine the clothing, the better I am able to let go. It's a wonderful escape.

Sometimes I fantasize about what I could be if I wasn't a father, husband, son, brother, male etc but I know that is not possible at this time.

[whowhatwhen]

I have no idea, but as the shell begins to fall apart I'm beginning to accept that I should not have been born a man.
Interesting topic though :)

[Eryn]

I don't think of it as wanting to be a woman, but rather as a desire to express myself as I wish.

At work today I looked at all the women wearing nice cool summer dresses in a wide spectrum of colors and patterns, pretty necklaces, earrings, and bracelets, and wonderful shoes ranging from flats to heels. They obviously had quite a lot of fun picking out and wearing their creative outfits.

I was stuck sweltering in a shirt and long trousers with a color choice of blue, brown, or black. It distresses me greatly to be restricted like this, but that is what happens when you get the Y side of the coin flip.

There are other attractions. Women treat each other better and have better social relations. They don't have to spend all of their time and energy figuring out where they are in the packing order. They aren't expected to be able to handle any situation that comes along.

Now, I'm realistic and realize that being a woman isn't all wonderfulness. However that does not reduce my distress at my own situation.

I am looking forward to hearing the FTM side of the discussion. What are the attraction for them, considering that GGs are already much more free to explore male clothing options without being ostracized?

[Launa]

The allure is having no body hair except for wishing long hair on my head, boobs, panties, earings, nail polish, jewlery, wearing silky dresses, high heels and acting the part.
Oh and when you put all that clothing and stuff on at the same time then go out in public, there is a huge invisible weight taken off your shoulders and body that you can't see but its not there anymore.

[BLUE ORCHID]

It's like the old saying goes , The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

[Marlana]

You know what I find stupifying, is that women who want to be men, and I know what I'm talking about, as my sister is in that category, just never got the being a girl and feeling what it is. They haven't liked the fact that they had breasts or felt inferior to men. I like the way I feel in womens clothes because I can't wear them everyday. I haven't had real breasts that might hurt when they grew. So I have to imagine what that feels like.
I don't honestly believe that I'll ever pass, so I have to live in the shadow of who I would like to be. Oh well, that's my price. As a woman, you won't knownwhat it feels like to wake up with a H-O in the morning. Guess that's your price. Then again, I don't hear many women wanting that part so much. For now, I'll keep underdresssing and have to be happy with that and my imagination.

[ElleduSud]

GG chiming in here... Several comments on women being more honest with each other: Women are NOT honest, not with each other. Those outings, with even my closest friends, which CDers tend to romanticize as "girls having fun" are not carefree social occasions for a flock of pretty women. They are very competitive. Whose husband has the biggest job; whose kids have the best grades; who has the best real boobs; whose kids have the best sports record; who has the most stylish hair; who has the most expensive clothes; whose kid has the most extracurricular leadership roles; whose second home is in the most exclusive location. It sounds like we're all congratulating each other on our good fortunes, but those bright, tinkling voices are speaking some very cutting words. Watch the movie Mean Girls. It doesn't stop when the girls turn into women.

[the_shark]

Jee whiz! I just logged on and read all your responses. Thank you all for putting in your opinion. Now here's mine:
For me, being a dude makes me feel like a lot of you ladies have put it. Just right.
Being a guy means having courage, a desire to protect but the capacity to love. It means power and confidence. Class and courtesy with a tad bit of swagger. (ok maybe a lot of swagger) It means low maintenance mornings lol. The competition is seen as real and not just cute.
I'm aware that not all those characteristics are reserved for males, but it's just what I give to males.
I don't know. It just makes me feel right. Like coming home after a long trip. Just comfortable and correct.

[Amy Fakley]

You know what I find stupifying, is that women who want to be men, and I know what I'm talking about, as my sister is in that category ...

pardon me ... this is totally off topic to the thread, but that is fascinating.
so both you and your sister have gender identity stuff going on? I've often wondered if there IS a GID-gene or something.
For instance, my dad ... uber-conservative in every way and just paranoid to the Nth degree about all things gay (noticeably so, and that's saying something for it to stand out against the background of all the paranoid nuttery that dude is into). .. I've always sort of harbored a suspicion that he was compensating for something and ... you know maybe I didn't fall so far from the tree afterall.

Interesting stuff. Sorry for the derail. Everyone please resume your regularly scheduled thread ....

[the_shark]

GG chiming in here... Several comments on women being more honest with each other: Women are NOT honest, not with each other. Those outings, with even my closest friends, which CDers tend to romanticize as "girls having fun" are not carefree social occasions for a flock of pretty women. They are very competitive. Whose husband has the biggest job; whose kids have the best grades; who has the best real boobs; whose kids have the best sports record; who has the most stylish hair; who has the most expensive clothes; whose kid has the most extracurricular leadership roles; whose second home is in the most exclusive location. It sounds like we're all congratulating each other on our good fortunes, but those bright, tinkling voices are speaking some very cutting words. Watch the movie Mean Girls. It doesn't stop when the girls turn into women.
Yep, Elledsud is correct. Everybody should go watch mean girls. You know Janice? Well a chick did the same thing down to strange details that Regina did to her. Girls have competition, its just different. I'd rather compete at the guy things where actuall skill is involved. As a girl it seems everything I want is just out of reach. And girls (especially high school) are not kind to eachother in the least. Vicious actually.


As a woman, you won't knownwhat it feels like to wake up with a H-O in the morning. .

I have always wanted that... That darn grass...

[TeresaL]

pardon me ... this is totally off topic to the thread, but that is fascinating.
so both you and your sister have gender identity stuff going on? I've often wondered if there IS a GID-gene or something.
For instance, my dad ... uber-conservative in every way and just paranoid to the Nth degree about all things gay (noticeably so, and that's saying something for it to stand out against the background of all the paranoid nuttery that dude is into). .. I've always sort of harbored a suspicion that he was compensating for something and ... you know maybe I didn't fall so far from the tree afterall.

Interesting stuff. Sorry for the derail. Everyone please resume your regularly scheduled thread ....

You just explained what the allure is to a "T". Many of our contingency acknowledge that we didnt choose it, we were born with it. Our brains were morphed, something got crossed, and here we are. Instead of the physical, like our closely related intersex friends, we only got the mental allure to be transgender.

Many of us are dressing in our preferred gender, which is registered in an inaccessible spot that cannot be cured or altered, except to give it freedom to express. It's almost like we are not really crossdressing, but dressing correctly to conform to the image in our mind. That is, for some of us, not all.

[NathalieX66]

Well, for one thing, the fashion choices are better. Guys clothes are boring. :yawn:

Who needs gender? ....seriously?

[Jorja]

For me, being a dude makes me feel like a lot of you ladies have put it. Just right.
I don't know. It just makes me feel right. Like coming home after a long trip. Just comfortable and correct.

And there you have your answer.

[Annaliese2010]

The "allure" or charm of m2f transitioning is both psychological and physical. The pull is felt because of an inner urge or predisposition.

(1) It's psychological because there are pre-existing (inborn) feminine personality traits the extent of which varies depending on the individual. The more inwardly transgendered the greater the tendancy to naturally express this aspect of ones personality.

When the itch to do so intensifies and the time & setting are permitting, an m2f transgendered individual can relax and allow his feminine personality to fully manifest and self-express. If this pre-existing feminine self is deeply ingrained or has evolved and strengthened over time there can occur a total or near total conversion in gender identification. One undergoes a powerful, fundamental psychological transition from male to female as the female personality takes over, influencing all aspects of behavior, thinking, feeling, likes & dislikes, attitudes, opinions & preferences all of which are markedly different (even contrary to) the normally dominant male personality.

The maleness of ones normal personality is greatly diminished. It fades in importance and influence. One is now barely aware of that 'normal' everyday self or altogether forgets it. 'He' becomes 'She' in a very genuine sense. Totally immersed in his normally repressed inner female self, one that is independent and as real as (or even more real than) the coexisting male personality, the m2f individual looks, acts, thinks & feels in a manner that is predominantly if not wholly feminine. And does so in a way that is legitimate, authentic and true to inner herself.

(2) It's naturally arousing to transform to your own ideal 'girlfriend'. When you look in the mirror the (subdued) male in you doesn't recognize the sexy, sultry, alluring girl reflecting back. This is at once confusing & arousing, empowering the female you see in you, now freely expressing in everyway possible. As she exerts more influence you fall for her allure & are liable to do things you normally wouldn't. Once overcome with and immersed in feminine feelings, sex is intense & overwhelming.

[the_shark]

Well, for one thing, the fashion choices are better. Guys clothes are boring. :yawn:

Who needs gender? ....seriously?

Are you kidding? Hah, I love guy's clothes! Simple, sexy and comfortable (thats the big one) if you ask me.
There's that grass again...


The "allure" or charm of m2f transitioning is both psychological and physical. The pull is felt because of an inner urge or predisposition.

(1) It's psychological because there are pre-existing (inborn) feminine personality traits the extent of which varies depending on the individual. The more inwardly transgendered the greater the tendancy to naturally express this aspect of ones personality.

When the itch to do so intensifies and the time & setting are permitting, an m2f transgendered individual can relax and allow his feminine personality to fully manifest and self-express. If this pre-existing feminine self is deeply ingrained or has evolved and strengthened over time there can occur a total or near total conversion in gender identification. One undergoes a powerful, fundamental psychological transition from male to female as the female personality takes over, influencing all aspects of behavior, thinking, feeling, likes & dislikes, attitudes, opinions & preferences all of which are markedly different (even contrary to) the normally dominant male personality.

The maleness of ones normal personality is greatly diminished. It fades in importance and influence. One is now barely aware of that 'normal' everyday self or altogether forgets it. 'He' becomes 'She' in a very genuine sense. Totally immersed in his normally repressed inner female self, one that is independent and as real as (or even more real than) the coexisting male personality, the m2f individual looks, acts, thinks & feels in a manner that is predominantly if not wholly feminine. And does so in a way that is legitimate, authentic and true to inner herself.

(2) It's naturally arousing to transform to your own ideal 'girlfriend'. When you look in the mirror the (subdued) male in you doesn't recognize the sexy, sultry, alluring girl reflecting back. This is at once confusing & arousing, empowering the female you see in you, now freely expressing in everyway possible. As she exerts more influence you fall for her allure & are liable to do things you normally wouldn't. Once overcome with and immersed in feminine feelings, sex is intense & overwhelming.

Thats a very elegant well though out responce.

[outhiking]

Dressing up makes me feel soft, alluring and vulnerable, I find a need to feel protected rather than to protect, to comfort and caress rather than simply provide. I can't explain why I enjoy feeling this way, but it's a nice treat when I get a chance to go fem.

[Miranda-E]

So, I'm an ftm and honestly, I don't get what the allure is to wanting to be a girl. What are the positive points to being female? Because I just don't seem to see them.

the same exact answers as to why your a man.

[Silmaril]

Being a guy means having courage, a desire to protect but the capacity to love. It means power and confidence. ~the_shark

Interestingly, this is very much like the answer I would give for what draws me to presenting as a woman. For me it's less about feeling softer or more delicate; I actually feel stronger and more confident. I've never felt like I've related well to being one of The Guys. I have always felt on guard and insecure in those social settings, as if I don't have the skills to match up. But when I dress, I feel like how I look matches who I am. I won't be expected to compete in Guy terms; I somehow know as a woman though that I will fully be able to account for myself in any situation.

Please note, I am not implying that it's harder to be a guy and that being a woman is "the easy route." In many ways, I think it may be harder to be a woman (which, I admit, I'll never truly *know*). I'm just saying that it's harder for *me* to be a guy, but when I am in girl mode, all the pieces feel like they have finally dropped into place.

[Diversity]

Perfect reply. I'm with you on this.
I enjoy my 'maledom', and wouldn't trade it for the world. It's just that I also love to 'girl-up' occasionally (becoming much more frequent) and enjoy the variety of women's clothes. So much variety! Just beginning the makeup thing as well. It's fun!!!
Di

[noeleena]

Hi,

None, being born different ,not a wont or even thoughts about being do i have to choose, my mind programing was wired as a female plus some internal body differences, just some crossed over with male , clothes yes they are lovely nice to wear never had a bearing on who i am,

For me its in being who i am & expressing that part of myself as a female / woman, does not mean what little male expresson there is its all a part of my makeup as a person down to the advantages & disadvantages that comes with being different.

...noeleena...

[KellyJameson]

I like the experience of the "knowing"

It is enjoyable because everyone wears a mask but you see them anyway.

What appears to be superficial is really just a ritual and there is language below language, everything is layered and nothing appears as it seems.

Often the extreme sensitivity and connectivity feels like "to much" but yet without it there would not be the knowing that takes you past the surface and into the depths.

Being this way almost killed me but I'm glad for the experience now that I have moved beyond it.

You stop needing to manage yourself when you become whole, things become quiet yet the intensity is not lost.

Now I paint my toe nails because I'm "not" resisting and not as a consequence "of " resisting.

Crossdressing is a river and everyone dives into it from the same bank but it is the bank you call home when you finally swim out that is the test of who you are.

I have come full circle so have changed into what I already was, bringing up from the depths what was denied.

I thought the allure was escape from what "is" but realize now it was escape from what "should have been" and so now the should have been "is" so there is no allure.

My mind is finally quiet, a very strange experience and I wonder where it will take me.

[Beverley Sims]

Adam, because you want to go the other way I would say that you have been attracted to the male physique, dress and mannerisms.
I have the opposite reaction, I am attracted to female physique, dress and mannerisms.
The question I would ask, why do you want to be a man.
I have only read your post and not any one elses.
I would say there a lot of analytical threads there and I will go read them myself now.
I try and answer the OP's question before being tainted by other replies.
Of which I see there are many.:)

[Sarasometimes]

Since you are a ftm you will probably agree that the desire/need for those of us with gender identity/expression traits are not a choice but an integral part of us. Most, probably even you might agree that life would be less complicated if we weren't in this group (not better necessarily, but less complicated) so a rational choice would be to skip all of this. I, personally don't feel my need/desires are of my own choosing. This is where i am on the gender expression continuum and so I need to crossdress and I desire to experience some things in life from a female perspective so to speak.
Now to answer your question about the pluses, women have more choices in clothing, jobs (paid less I'll admit), how they appear. Also along the lines of your veiw, no one questions a female when they wish to emulate a man but males are chastized for wishing to do feminine things in many cases. This is a drawback to being male. males are expected by western culture to always behave manly. and there are real stresses that come from that (we die much younger then females.
GREAT POST!

[Marlana]

Shark, I think you're gonna need a new lawnmower. Lol! I agree with you though. Damn green grass is as bad as a pink fog.

[bridget thronton]

The clothes and the shopping

[Aprilrain]

The allure? It's just what I am, it's how I was born. How else can I explain it?

what she said, there is very little "allure" to it and there have been many days that I have cried myself to sleep just wishing i could have been a "normal" guy

[suchacutie]

Allure is really the wrong word. It's really pretty clear that I'm bigendered. There are just times when Tina needs to be allowed to be herself. I'm not yet sure what the mix will end up being, but there will be time for both of my gendered selves, separate and unique.

All of the differences in the "trappings" of one gender or the other is not a part of the reality of what makes one transgendered. The "trappings" are what define the style of each of my gendered selves.

[Cheryl T]

So, I'm an ftm and honestly, I don't get what the allure is to wanting to be a girl. What are the positive points to being female? Because I just don't seem to see them.

Well then tell us...from your perspective what are the positive points about being male??????

It's all in ones viewpoint now isn't it??

[whowhatwhen]

I have always wanted that... That darn grass...

It's not so much about the grass being greener on the other side than it is your side of the fence being a turnip farm.

[the_shark]

It's not so much about the grass being greener on the other side than it is your side of the fence being a turnip farm.

Lol, I find being a girl quite the turnip farm. Like I said to whom that have asked, being male just fits me. It fits my hobbies, personality and feels comfortable and it's how I'd like the world to treat me. Yes, it is all about viewpoint. I just wanted to hear the different viewpoints and what appeals and makes it feel right for all of you. You've done a good job explaining everyone, so thanks for the feedback.

[Roberta Young]

Adam ,the want to express as a woman is something i HAVE to do. it is ME. Luv Roberta

[sometimes_miss]

So, I'm an ftm and honestly, I don't get what the allure is to wanting to be a girl. What are the positive points to being female? Because I just don't seem to see them.

It has nothing to do with 'gaining an advantage' in life. It has to do with feeling that you are what you are supposed to be. I would think any trans gender person would understand that, shark. My best analogy is the swimsuit one: Say you're at an elegant affair. Everyone else is wearing a tux or an evening gown. You, however, are standing there in a bathing suit. Feel right? Probably not. That's the feeling I (and lots of others) have when wearing male clothing, and am expected to behave socially as a male. It has nothing to do with positive points or negative points (besides, there are positive points to being a woman, but you mind blocks them because you're more comfortable with that belief). I won't get into a pi$$ing contest about which gender has it better in life, because that argument has been rehashed, oh, about a million times. Try googling the question, there's plenty to read. But you're traveling a very, very difficult road, FtM, and I wish you the best on your journey. If you can't find any information about the benefits of being female, feel free to message me.

[BRANDYJ]

As someone already asked, what's the allure of wanting to be a man? Men are not pretty, sexy or desired by women for their sensual looks. Men are very visual and are attracted to the female form more so then women being attracted to a man based on visual stimuli alone. I guess for us that are crossdressed men, it's nice to feel like we are more attractive and sensual as we ourselves view women. I also think if I was a woman, it would be nice to know I am desired by men for my looks alone. Not that I'd respond. I admire, adore, lust after,respect, and love women for so many reasons beyond just looks. It's nice to try and act and look like what I so admire. Men do nothing for me. Many things associated with being a man are not so nice or even good. First and foremost is the typical man's view of women and lack of care and concern for them beyond the bedroom. To many men think women are some sort of second class citizen put here to just serve mankind. Not every man, but to many to make me proud they are one of us, the weaker sex...man.

[Ally 2112]

When im in guy mode im able to go out and not really be noticed or worry about being read i just basically blend in with the crowd .But i do not feel free it is like im hiding out in public behind a very high wall .When im dressed and hiding in my little closet in my house i feel more free and happier and way less stressed .This to me is my allure to being a cder or yes at times a women it is the freedom in my prison if that makes any sense ??.It is my little piece of happiness :)

[the_shark]

It has nothing to do with 'gaining an advantage' in life. It has to do with feeling that you are what you are supposed to be. I would think any trans gender person would understand that, shark. My best analogy is the swimsuit one: Say you're at an elegant affair. Everyone else is wearing a tux or an evening gown. You, however, are standing there in a bathing suit. Feel right? Probably not. That's the feeling I (and lots of others) have when wearing male clothing, and am expected to behave socially as a male. It has nothing to do with positive points or negative points (besides, there are positive points to being a woman, but you mind blocks them because you're more comfortable with that belief). I won't get into a pi$$ing contest about which gender has it better in life, because that argument has been rehashed, oh, about a million times. Try googling the question, there's plenty to read. But you're traveling a very, very difficult road, FtM, and I wish you the best on your journey. If you can't find any information about the benefits of being female, feel free to message me.
I do understand that. I love your analogy by the way. I can surely identify there.

[Kelli<3]

I spent my life up to this point trying to be a normal guy... and I was almost successful. I'm not driven by an allure to want to be a girl. I denied this part of me for so long and now I am trying to accept and embrace it. Luckily I have a wonderful wife who has been so understanding and supportive. I don't want to be a girl, I just want to be me and be happy. I still don't understand what this means completely, I almost feel as if I am somewhere in between male and female.

[the_shark]

I spent my life up to this point trying to be a normal guy... and I was almost successful. I'm not driven by an allure to want to be a girl. I denied this part of me for so long and now I am trying to accept and embrace it. Luckily I have a wonderful wife who has been so understanding and supportive. I don't want to be a girl, I just want to be me and be happy. I still don't understand what this means completely, I almost feel as if I am somewhere in between male and female.

So glad you have a supportive SO. Good for you. And I wish you luck.

[Saffron]

What's the allure of doing what you most want to do? The happiness.

[sometimes_miss]

As someone already asked, what's the allure of wanting to be a man?
We all initially suffer from the old 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome. Louis C K does an excellent routine on the benefits of being a guy historically as well as in today's society. But with those benefits, come expectations, as well as downsides. So for brand and shark, let's revisit a few.
Men. Can go out alone and not be bothered. Safety? Less likely to get assaulted, and nearly never sexually assaulted or touched by someone we don't want it from. Shopping, the sales person often will come up to a counter, and even when there are several women there who were ahead of us, they ask to help us first because we are usually never browsing but simply want to pay for something and get out of the store, which goes much faster and easier than assisting a woman with things. No menstruation, that's a given. Taller, stronger, better able to focus on a single task. We also compartmentalize our lives, which further enhances the last item and makes our decisions less complicated. Clothes are much, much simpler as well; if you meet a guy wearing the same suit, you may become friends, and think nothing of it. We don't automatically hate a guy who is dating a girl we're attracted to.
Women. Have a choice in life, can work, or get married and stay at home and raise the kids (and no, men do not have that option without giving up our maleness in the presence of every other male, as well as nearly every female). Chivalry means for the most part, a guy will never, ever hit you until you push him way too far or he's physically in danger of being seriously hurt. You use tears as a weapon to manipulate men. Have a far greater ability to 'read' another person's feelings and behavior. Better use of peripheral vision, associated with your ability to multitask. Oh, a big one, women DON'T GET DRAFTED INTO THE MILITARY AND GET SENT RUNNING INTO A MACHINE GUN NEST TO DIE. Danger? Women and children first, guys have to sacrifice themselves for no particular reason, and a guy who sees a women he doesn't even know that is being assaulted by a man is automatically required to go to her aid, even if he knows he may get killed, it's just the way our society is made, to protect women, not men (men are considered disposiible). Sex? From the age of 13 to about 40, you can walk into any bar and there will be a whole lot of willing partners, no questions asked. If there's a particular guy you're interested in, knowing that men are predominantly visually attracted to women, you can alter your appearance quickly (hair, makeup, outfit, shoes, etc.) to fit into what he wants (guys can't automatically increase their height, social status or salary in a day or two, most often never) and bingo, you're in the game. Despite what a lot of american women think, men don't give a crap about your house, your car, or your job. All men want is a woman who's sexually attractive to us, and nice to us. Everything else isn't even noticed. Really. Sure, it's nice to be a good cook or housekeeper, but it's not necessary; there's plenty of ready made food, and most guys live sloppily anyway so they don't care. Women can spend an eternity in front of a mirror working on their appearance, and that's considered normal. If a guy doesn't naturally look good, and spends time on his appearance, he's considered weird by both men and women. Women don't have to put themselves out there and risk rejection; they have the option to approach men, but don't have to. Men have no choice. Sexually, if a man is sexually not satisfied, everyone thinks something's wrong with him. If a woman is sexually unsatisfied, everyone thinks there's something wrong with the guy: it's always assumed it's the man's fault. Divorce? Well over 90% of alimony recipients and child custody decisions favor the woman, and if there's a 'tie', the decision also automatically goes to the woman. There's no shame in backing down from an altercation for a woman; a man has no choice, even when he knows he's going to get killed, he has to 'man up'. A woman can get naked in public and everyone cheers and smiles; a guy gets naked and everyone screams in horror. Women can fit into all the great little sports cars, theater and arena seats that big guys simply can't; that six inch height 'advantage' isn't always an advantage. And of course, the last, clothing: Women have such a wide choice of what to wear, they can express their feelings and who they are with their attire, as well as inspire sexual and romantic desire in the men around them easily with what they wear; a man doesn't have that option, as the primary attraction to males is usually not in his visual appearance, but his behavior, status, job, height, and assets, and not every guy is smart enough to make a lot of money, but as some women make up mogel said, there are no ugly women, just lazy ones; if a woman stays in decent shape, hair, cosmetics and clothes can make a '2' into a '7' at least. And of course, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind; she can get a guy all worked up sexually and then tell him to stop, she changed her mind. A woman gets 'veto power', but insists the guy make the choices for her: I'm sure everyone is familiar with this scenario: 'Lets go out to eat'..guy says, sure, where would you like to go? Woman says, 'oh, anywhere'. Guy says, 'great, lets go to Alfonso's'. Woman says, 'Nah, I don't feel like Italian'. Guy says, 'alright, lets to go Wang Chung's'. Woman says, 'No, not chinese either'. And it goes on and on. Home decorating choices? Always the woman's. I've been in more homes with 'pretty' and often fragile furniture that's uncomfortable than I can count; as well as houses painted pink. Do I have to mention that about 95% of dates are paid for by men, and that women expect that and see it as normal? Considering that studies show that of all college graduates working full time, the mean salary for women is 101% of what men make (Wall Street Journal expose based on U.S. labor statistics), so it shows that of women who take their careers seriously, they now have reached parity in the income arena, but still get to complain that their usually family based sisters who chose the 'mommy track' are underpaid.
The lists go on and on, but basically, life isn't easier or harder for either sex, but simply, it's different. We all have problems, just different ones. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
And last but not least, anyone know the magic outfit that a guy can wear that will enable him to walk into a bar and have women lining up to buy him a drink and take him out? No? I didn't think so.

[Kaz]

The grass is greener argument is an interesting one and yeah I am there too... I accept that career-wise and in many other areas women are still progressing their rights, but I do know so many women that have won through. I have been on the receiving end of positive discrimination in the workplace. It ended my career in Pharma when the company decided to only promote women to get the numbers up... there were some good decisions on this and some bad ones... lots of good guys left. Merit and capability had nothing to do with it. I used to think that women get a better deal... but then I also realised that I just preferred their 'deal' to the male one. The male deal is about the 'pack' and the pecking order. If you do not fit in forget it. Start your own pack. If you are not entrepreneurial enough to start your own pack, you are a loner. Loners are outsiders who look for what they can get from wherever... I have been a loner for most of my life. OK I have a family, kids, and I have made friends when I have needed them... but I am not part of anything...

...except my family, this place and my bands!

Being a guy sucks... it is just not a good place to be. The only positives are that if you conform to the rules and play the politics, you find a sustainable path through to old age...

[marny]

short answer. booobs. long answer . way to long :cheers::cheers:

[TxKimberly]

Adam, I look at your female picture and I almost wanna cry. To think that you were blessed with being born so very beautiful but don't want it, is almost mind boggling to me, so I guess it's hardly a surprise that you dont exactly get us either.

What is the allure?
The feeling of "rightness".
The sudden realization that you feel like you are finally breathing after holding your breath for your whole life.
The wonder of looking in the mirror and seeing someone who you have always dreamed of being

I really don't think that it is something that can be properly explained - you either "get it" or you dont. :)

[NathalieX66]

Adam, I look at your female picture and I almost wanna cry. To think that you were blessed with being born so very beautiful but don't want it, is almost mind boggling to me, so I guess it's hardly a surprise that you dont exactly get us either.

What is the allure?
The feeling of "rightness".
The sudden realization that you feel like you are finally breathing after holding your breath for your whole life.
The wonder of looking in the mirror and seeing someone who you have always dreamed of being

I really don't think that it is something that can be properly explained - you either "get it" or you dont. :)

Hmm...I like that.
Good explanation. .....fits me too!

[max]

Less likely to get assaulted, and nearly never sexually assaulted or touched by someone we don't want it from.

This is false. Sexual assault against men happens and goes ridiculously under-reported. I had some random chick grab my ass at a bar and let me tell you, it is not a good feeling. Feels like something was taken from you, combined with the societal view that it is ok for women to do that sort of shit because men must want it means you feel powerless to do anything about it because you don't think anyone will take it seriously. It still bothers me.



Considering that studies show that of all college graduates working full time, the mean salary for women is 101% of what men make (Wall Street Journal expose based on U.S. labor statistics), so it shows that of women who take their careers seriously, they now have reached parity in the income arena, but still get to complain that their usually family based sisters who chose the 'mommy track' are underpaid.

Yep, when you adjust for the different factors women are even slightly overcompensated. Can you source this though? I would like to use the study when people on this site trot out that "women are underpaid" line.

[Babeba]

You use tears as a weapon to manipulate men.

Sorry, but I cannot even begin to say just how much this offends me.

Yes, I cry a fair bit. This is something that started happening just after I started hormonal birth control. It's been about a year and a half since I went off that medication, and I still burst into tears at the oddest situations during certain points of my cycle. I absolutely hate it when it happens, it's embarrassing, it makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, and I always get super blocked up and a big sinus headache out of the deal, too.

To say I do it to manipulate men is just.... SOOO... Wrong!

[sometimes_miss]

This is false. Sexual assault against men happens and goes ridiculously under-reported. I had some random chick grab my ass at a bar and let me tell you, it is not a good feeling. Feels like something was taken from you, combined with the societal view that it is ok for women to do that sort of shit because men must want it means you feel powerless to do anything about it because you don't think anyone will take it seriously. It still bothers me.
When a man complains about it, it is laughed off. Another inequity between the sexes which favors women.

Yep, when you adjust for the different factors women are even slightly overcompensated. Can you source this though? I would like to use the study when people on this site trot out that "women are underpaid" line.

I used to work for the WSJ and read it every day; they got the information from the U.S. census, and was never refuted, so I'm taking it on the record of the WSJ as being, as usual, a very accurate newspaper with it's facts. I suppose you could look through that bazillion page document, the U.S. census records, good luck. The problem lies in the fact that it's a median; meaning that there are more men at the top and bottom of the income range so women see more men at the top tier positions and automatically assume that all men make more than the women do. Like a lot of other so called 'minorities' (women are actually THE MAJORITY but get minority status and assistance under the equal employment opportunity acts), lots of women often immediately cry 'foul!' any time they see a man getting something they want and blame it on sexism. Watch this thread as some women will ignore the words 'lots of women often' and see it as a blanket statement that all women act that way; happens every single time I bring this topic up on other forums!

And, Babeba wrote:

Sorry, but I cannot even begin to say just how much this offends me. Yes, I cry a fair bit. This is something that started happening just after I started hormonal birth control. It's been about a year and a half since I went off that medication, and I still burst into tears at the oddest situations during certain points of my cycle. I absolutely hate it when it happens, it's embarrassing, it makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, and I always get super blocked up and a big sinus headache out of the deal, too. To say I do it to manipulate men is just.... SOOO... Wrong!
Not everyone does it; but women do it a lot, and men, oh, so rarely. The only time I've ever seen it was in a movie called 'Adam's Rib'. Guys get ridiculed for crying; women get sympathy. Just another inequity between the sexes.

[bridget thronton]

Adam if being male feels right to you I hope you are allowed to enjoy it as often as you wish

[JohannaSophia]

Brings out my inner narcissist in a softer mode.

[clairebostock]

Hi
you ask why do we mtf want to be female and the the same could be asked of why do you want to be male?
as a mtf i can put on a lovely sexy dress as a man i can put on a shirt and jeans as a female i can wear sexy underwear
as a man i can wear Y-fronts.

i hope you can see why i love to want to wear female clothes as to mens clothes, it comes down to want i like and want you want.
so our allure is want the person like to do you like dressing as a man and us mtf like to dress as a woman it can be that simple.

Claire who loves to dress as a woman

[Thera Home]

Hi all
After reading this post and responses,I believe its the thrill of going against the norm. We're the kind of folks that are not just happy with the norm and we want to try different things and ideas. I think thats what fuels our desire.

Just my two bits

Thera

[Janet_Prankster]

Sorry for this belated post in the thread, but I discovered it only today, and I found it very interesting. I can just share my own experience and utterly subjective comments, which are somehow different from those the majority of the other posters expressed. I would say that Adam (a fellow guy inside and such a gorgeous girl outside) is, all in all, right. Here’s why I agree with the Jews who pray: “"Blessed art Thou, o Lord our God, King of the universe, Who hast not made me a woman”:


the burden (family and work) of women is heavier than that of men, and far less acknowledged (and paid!);
being a pretty women requires more efforts, money and time than being a handsome man;
sexy female garments are far more uncomfortable (and expensive!) than male ones (everybody here knows what it means wearing high heels or how a tight skirt hampers one's movement!); nevertheless...
...women are aware that, to the average man, their naked body is less attractive than the same in underwire bra/corset, garter belt/thigh-highs, heels, slits, and so on; with the nasty consequence that...
...the sexier a woman is dressed the more worried she is about showing too much (of her cleavage, of her stockings, of what can be seen through...); this requires constant vigilance (to sitting, crossing the legs, standing, riding a bike...) totally unknown to men;
women attract more unwanted attentions than men (a man raped by a woman would rival a dog bitten by a postman! Ok, ok, I know it happens...);
a woman alone in the night is less safe than a man; i.e. women are less free;
the female body is less apt to physical activity (have you ever spoken with a buxom girl about running on the beach?);
ageing devastates the beauty of female body much more than that of the male one (an old actor is more likely to remain sexy than an old actress, in my opinion);
women have period, labour and osteoporosis.
So why do I find crossdressing fun? Because I admire and love women and their appearance, I appreciate their efforts and acknowledge their inconvenience to be sexy (for us, even though they often say they do it for themselves!). I am amazed when I see how sexy I look as a woman: I think I would be the kind of woman that makes me turn the head, and this is both flattering and funny. But then, after playing with the outfits, experiencing womanhood and taking some pictures, what a relief to revert to my true self! “Blessed art Thou, o Lord our God, who hast made me a straight man (and a lesbian CD!)”.

[Kate Simmons]

I was wondering what happened to Adam. Haven't heard from him in awhile now.:)

[Cheryl T]

For me it's not an "Allure". There is no magnetic attraction to femininity or the appearance of same. There's no desire to wear a certain article of clothing or act a certain way.

For me it's an inner need to express part of myself that remains hidden and seems to only find it's release as a woman. If that can be taken as an allure then so be it. It's not that I idolize women and fashion, it's that part of me is female and needs to be visible in ways that are unmistakably feminine. That's not to say that I'm in high fashion all the time. More often than not I'm "dressed down" so to speak. I'm as comfortable in jeans, flats and a blouse as I am in my LBD. My style depends on what I'm doing and where I'm going just as any woman. I don't wear my LBD to Walmart and I don't wear my jeans to a fancy restaurant. I'm not hooked on nylons and heels though I do wear them when the occasion warrants.

So if there is allure in that ... I guess I'm guilty.

[NathalieX66]

These days, I don't find much allure in presenting as male. My hair, although a bit frizzy (nothing keratin treatment can't cure) , is finally down to my shoulders after all these months, and I feel naked when I don't wear earrings. Most of my face has been zapped off by laser and electrolysis. Dressing really casual as female, even in public settings, feels normal. I don't know why, It just does.

I don't know why any guy would prefer to look female, This is not RuPau's Drag Race, but I'm not entirely comfortable with the male presentation within myself. So I decided to take a chance, and take my lumps from a social standpoint, and I feel it has been worth the ride.

Does anybody understand what I'm saying? If no, that's fine.

[Thera Home]

They smell nice:D

Thera

[minalost]

I think there are a lot of factors involved and the strength/importance of each will very almost day to day. Today its:

Women are beautiful; men... not so much.
And I want to be beautiful.

[sometimes_miss]

O.K., I'll take up the challenge, Janet_Prankster. Let's see now;

The burden (family and work) of women is heavier than that of men, and far less acknowledged (and paid!);
Nope. Through the 20th century, women often chose to work outside the home (for their own reasons, though they will always say it was to benefit everyone else in the family). They expected their husbands to do more of the housework and child care, but were frustrated when those men didn't. Two things; single women spend twice as much time on housework as single men, and once married, continue the same amount of time spent. women see that as inequal, expecting the guy to automatically match her efforts. He sees it as unfair, as he's already contributing the same (and what he feels as adequate) work as before. Childcare? Again, women spend more time doing it. It's something they enjoy more than most men, and is more important to societies for women to be involved in childcare. Most men assume they will get by on their own incomes. The 'better lifestyle' that the wife wants is up to her if she wants to work. Men don't insist their wife work, but women DO insist their men work. Another disparity.

being a pretty women requires more efforts, money and time than being a handsome man
Yes, but that's because it's what is required to be attractive TO men. working hard at a career is what attracts women TO men, so that's where they put most of their work. Two things here also; women make less ON AVERAGE than men do because they spend less time on their careers than men do, and men are more willing to sacrifice their personal life to advance in their careers. So, men work harder to succeed at work, and women work harder on their appearance.

sexy female garments are far more uncomfortable (and expensive!) than male ones (everybody here knows what it means wearing high heels or how a tight skirt hampers one's movement!); nevertheless...
We do whatever is necessary to attract the opposite sex. Making a good income is a primary attractant for men; we do all sorts of dangerous AND UNCOMFORTABLE things to earn that money. How many women do you find in mines? On offshore oil rigs? Very, very few. and believe me, those jobs are far from comfortable. I'd call it a wash, but ever so slightly in favor of the men. Why? Because for 40+ hours a week, they HAVE TO wear appropriate, uncomfortable gear to earn what makes them attractive to women. Besides, I've worn tight skirts and they aren't that uncomfortable. Try wearing a deep sea diving suit and going down a few hundred feet to learn what's really uncomfortable. Or perhaps going into a raging inferno in a fire outfit. How many women do that?

...women are aware that, to the average man, their naked body is less attractive than the same in underwire bra/corset, garter belt/thigh-highs, heels, slits, and so on; with the nasty consequence that...
That what? You didn't finish the statement. What nasty consequences are there? And heels? Unless the guy is a foot fetishist, few guys give a crap about what kind of shoes a woman wears, no matter what women like to think. Women spend tons of time deciding on shoes, so they think men care a great deal about those shoes. Nope. Women wiggle attractively whether they're wearing heels or sneakers, it's the anatomy that rules the gait. Basically if you're attractive with the shoes on, you'll be attractive with the shoes off, so wear sneakers, they're more comfortable. In fact, if I found a woman in my home wearing nothing but sneakers, that would be just fine with me! One of the things that I've found when talking to women is that they think being tall is important for women. But it's not; it's what they find important in a guy, so they incorrectly think it's important in a girl. Not so; if you're five feet tall and really, really hot, you'll have guys lined up at your door. No heels necessary. If you're six feet tall and a woman, and you're fat and ugly, virtually no guys will be lined up at your door. Height in a woman simply isn't all that important to men. If we're tall, sure, it would be nicer if she's closer to our height, but it's way down on the list of things we are looking for in a girl.

the sexier a woman is dressed the more worried she is about showing too much (of her cleavage, of her stockings, of what can be seen through...); this requires constant vigilance (to sitting, crossing the legs, standing, riding a bike) totally unknown to men;
That's up to each individual woman. Some like to believe that it's better to leave something to the imagination. I haven't found that to be true. Other women feel uncomfortable showing too much of their bodies to the opposite sex. Well, there's places for them too, such as certain Jewish communities where the fashion is always concealing long skirts and clothes that reveal virtually no skin at all. Not to mention those full coverage black outfits that some islamic groups wear. If you're not comfortable with what you're wearing, there's always another place for you to go, where there are men who will be interested in you.

women attract more unwanted attentions than men (a man raped by a woman would rival a dog bitten by a postman! Ok, ok, I know it happens...);
Ah, yes. However, there are always places to go where a woman is not subject to ANY attention if she should want to avoid it; she can always go to the ladies room or stay at home when she feels the need to avoid being looked at. On the other hand, if no one ever pays any sexual attention to you, and you want that attention, there's no place you can go to get it. Not for free, anyway.

a woman alone in the night is less safe than a man; i.e. women are less free;
O.K., you've got me there. But I've got a counter; women don't get drafted. The millions of guys who have died in wars that they had no choice in taking part in, dwarf the number of women who've died in street attacks.

the female body is less apt to physical activity (have you ever spoken with a buxom girl about running on the beach?);
Depends on what physical activity you're talking about. Women excel at long distance swimming, for example. Not to mention rolling along the balance beam on their pelvis, which would put a guy in the hospital for sure.

aging devastates the beauty of female body much more than that of the male one (an old actor is more likely to remain sexy than an old actress, in my opinion);
Yes; each sex has advantages at different ages. Women tend to have the advantage when they are young, men, as they get older. So? I don't see an inequity there at all.

women have period, labour and osteoporosis.
Men are subject to more physical violence, more danger, more death at every age. We are subject to forced financing of a woman's 'right to choose' whether we like it or not. SHE get's to choose, whether we want the kid or not, whether we pay for it or not. We go to jail for non payment, even if payment is completely impossible (corporate banker divorces, settlement is based on his income at the time of divorce, loses his job, can find no other job making even half as much, goes to jail because of lack of support; the case can be looked up in New Jersey's newspapers). and it's not as uncommon as you think. Women don't have to have children, so the 'labor' argument is invalid. It's their choice. having a period is inconvenient. But it hurts far less than the arthritis I have now, as told to me by elderly female patients. Why is arthritis more common in younger men than women? Well, the very physical activity that men are more prone to do, as well as the overwhelmingly disparate number of injuries suffered by males as opposed to females on the job, in the military, and in sports.
*
And me, I don't find crossdressing to be much fun. It just feels appropriate, so I do it. Just like a teenage girl picks her outfit for school, I pick out what I'm going to wear because it seems like the appropriate thing to do.

[Jenniferathome]

Is this a real question? As a heterosexual male, women are fantastic. Whatever genetic tweak occurred in my brain that makes me a crossdresser makes me want to emulate what I find beautiful. As a FtM, you could list everything about a woman that you don't like and that list would be the opposite for a crossdresser (except the periods).