Rachel Renee
08-15-2012, 03:58 PM
I have been seeing a gender therapist for several months now and during our last appointment on Monday, it happened. She presented me with a referral to an endocrinologist for hormone replacement therapy. Since I'm now totally capable of being completely open and honest with myself, I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Nervous. Excited. A little scared, but definitely happy. I can't wait until my mind is finally operating with the correct chemistry.
I have been thinking about my future a lot, lately. I never was sure what was in store for me. I always felt like I was just helplessly drifting along with the current but not sure of who I was or where I was going. I was hiding, intent on keeping my head down and waiting. For what, I never was sure. Maybe I was simply waiting for my life to just magically start. Not any more. I am in control of my destiny now. I can hold my head high and I feel like a real human being that belongs here. I don't have everything figured out yet but I have a solid start and I can now see a future for myself. I'm ready to begin living my life.
Since the beginning of this year I have started seeing a therapist, building up a proper wardrobe, getting out in public as Rachel as much as practically possible, and I have come out as transgender to the people closest to me, including at work. Most importantly, I have fully come out to myself, which was the most difficult part, so far. I am also getting lots more comfortable being out in the world as Rachel, and looking to let her do more and more of the "regular stuff". So now I am planning on seeing the endo that my therapist has recommended so I can start HRT, hopefully within the next few months. Maybe sooner. I will also be starting electrolysis by the end of the year. I am lucky to live ten minutes away from what I am told is one of the best clinics in the country; E3000. It is my hope that by my thirty-fifth birthday, exactly two years from now, I'll have completed facial hair removal and hormones will have fully done their thing, and it will be easier to be myself on a more full time basis.
That's about as far out as I am thinking at this point. It's hard enough to formulate a plan even in the most familiar of circumstances. I'm currently in uncharted waters, learning to sail by the stars of an alien sky. I really don't know how far I will ultimately go but I will allow myself to go as far as I need to. The work begins.
I have been thinking about my future a lot, lately. I never was sure what was in store for me. I always felt like I was just helplessly drifting along with the current but not sure of who I was or where I was going. I was hiding, intent on keeping my head down and waiting. For what, I never was sure. Maybe I was simply waiting for my life to just magically start. Not any more. I am in control of my destiny now. I can hold my head high and I feel like a real human being that belongs here. I don't have everything figured out yet but I have a solid start and I can now see a future for myself. I'm ready to begin living my life.
Since the beginning of this year I have started seeing a therapist, building up a proper wardrobe, getting out in public as Rachel as much as practically possible, and I have come out as transgender to the people closest to me, including at work. Most importantly, I have fully come out to myself, which was the most difficult part, so far. I am also getting lots more comfortable being out in the world as Rachel, and looking to let her do more and more of the "regular stuff". So now I am planning on seeing the endo that my therapist has recommended so I can start HRT, hopefully within the next few months. Maybe sooner. I will also be starting electrolysis by the end of the year. I am lucky to live ten minutes away from what I am told is one of the best clinics in the country; E3000. It is my hope that by my thirty-fifth birthday, exactly two years from now, I'll have completed facial hair removal and hormones will have fully done their thing, and it will be easier to be myself on a more full time basis.
That's about as far out as I am thinking at this point. It's hard enough to formulate a plan even in the most familiar of circumstances. I'm currently in uncharted waters, learning to sail by the stars of an alien sky. I really don't know how far I will ultimately go but I will allow myself to go as far as I need to. The work begins.