Strength to transition

[Inna]

As we all discuss daily occurrences of our evolving life's one particular subject sound extremely trying and emotionally exhausting. Transition within it self is an undertaking "Not For Fainthearted" but seems double tough if transitioned on the job. I can not speak of experiencing such transition because by the default of my situation I became jobless as well as lost all ties with the former, comfortable world of male pretend. In fact I think of my self as fortunate to be thrown into such empty scenario because it had given me complete focus on what I needed for my self without regard for those around me to navigate my own.
From the outside, transitioning on the job seams easier, after all, job, support, finances, etc. but really throughout this process I feel individuals who transition must succumb to pressures from others, peers, bosses, clients, office environment often devoid of human touch.

So, I would love to hear from those who are or did transition in the working environment of what is their take on weight of adjustment of Transition On The JOB

[Bree-asaurus]

I'm kind of transitioning on the job... sorta. I'm self-employed and have clients. One of my clients knows of my transition, but the others don't. Thankfully many of my clients are not in this city or state, so I can still pretend I'm the same person over the phone... but now one of my clients who was referred to me by an old professor of mine will be in town in a couple weeks and want to have dinner (two clients, my professor and his wife, and me...). So... in a day or two I need to tell them what's up and see what happens.

Aside from that, I know FINDING a freakin job in this economy AND factoring in the transsexual part supersedes the quality of my work... I haven't been having luck on the job hunt. Or maybe I think too highly of myself and just blame being trans... either way... my past clients love me but potential employers apparently don't...

[Frances]

I transitioned at work. There were over 200 employees at the time. We were renting a floor of a historical building and the floor plan being shaped like a donut, everyone saw everyone everyday. I told HR almost a year ahead of time that I would transition, but waited until I had feminized myself quite a bit before transitioning at work. That means a few years of laser and electrolysis and 5 months of HRT. By that time, I could pass easily on weekends, but would show up to work as a man on weekdays. I informed everyone right before starting HRT, because I figured the changes would be obvious soon enough. No one had noticed the hair removal, and I was like a gorilla before! During those five months between telling everyone and showing up as my true self, I used the single occupant bathroom in the building's lobby. After the anouncement of my new official identity and name, I started using the women's bathroom with everyone else.

I never had a problem. It quickly became a non-issue. During the crash, over 100 employees were let go. I did not tell any of the new ones about my past, but some were told. It got weird when I was in situations where half the room knew and half did not. I left the company a month ago, but not because of my transition.

I have been looking for a new job since January, but am having a hard time because of the my transsexuality. Old collegues who did no see me transition have found work in various translation firms around town. People talk about me after my interviews, and job offers magically disappear.

[Shapeshiffter]

I am transistioning at work right now. I told everyone after I had been on hrt for a year and they were starting to ask questions. Mostly wanted to know why I was so much easier to deal with. After about 2 months it became no big deal. But almost half of the company is gay or has gay friends outside work. I have been really lucky in that regard. I think I have more friends there now. ( I've been there over 30 years) It's been approx. 9 months full time now and some tell me I should have done it years ago. I use the womens bathroom with no complaints from anyone. All the years being afraid and now I seem to be accepted for who I am. A women.

Brighid

[arbon]

My experience has been and still is very mixed. I work with a lot of business in the community and the reaction from them has been very positive, supportive, sensitive to issues like using the right pronouns for the most part. I think they have been pretty awesome about it and I am grateful for that. With them, going around town to the businesses selling and making deliveries I feel very comfortable and just being myself - that adjustment came easily and naturally.

My boss and coworkers have been a different story. Going through this process with my boss to get where I am today was an emotional, intense, shi## ride. I hated what I had to go through, and I still feel rather unwelcome by him. I still have my own dress code - though I have not been abiding by it short of not wearing a dress or skirt to the shop. That I still have a job is surprising....to his credit though he has been trying to use my name though he still refers to be by my old name a lot, but I appreciate the effort. It has all been made so much harder then it had to be though. My coworkers are coming around very slowly to - mostly they don't use my name and still refer to me as male which makes it hard, but they leave me alone to and let me do my work and are respectful otherwise working with me.

The experience, as unpleasant as it has been at times, I think has helped make me a stronger person in a lot of ways.

I am starting to look for other work. The clients have all been so supportive but when I am applying for work how many of them will be willing to give me a fair opportunity? It is hard to say.

[noeleena]

Hi,

The best i can say was i ran my own building concern i did work as a perceived male & as a woman, no probs the last 15 years iv been well known were we live & other towns close by,

the building surply shops & many others firms iv dealt with. as a woman i was accepted talked about every thing we talked about before no changes there. & why should there be, no different between women or men its how you go about things, its more to do with your repore with people some thing iv had for over 15 years. yes they saw the changes going on so we talked about that as just normal conversion those i know have been great we still do business just the same it really comes down to being a part of socity .

Now you have to remember i know these guys so when we talked about surgerys oh did we have some fun when i told them it was , no no..... no way not down there, it really was funny its just you have to know the guys & how to talk about....... some things........ they were great,

& before its allways been hi noel , then changed to hi noeleena.... all in one day you see i treated them as part of my life as im part of theres, small communitys are not as small minded as some think . you treat them with respect they will you,

...noeleena...

[thechic]

Im transitioned at work,in the refrigeration trade and must say its hard work,lucky most of the clients already think im a woman.

[Nicki S]

I recently transitioned at work also. I believe that my work is different from any of the above. I work off shore in the marine industry. So not only do I work with these guys, I live there too for half of the year. So in my opinion this adds extra stress to a tough situation. I waited until I was feminized from hormones and facial hair removed and had grown out my hair. There were a few that were starting to ask questions, so my timing of coming out was pretty good. I notified the corporate office and forwarded them all of my updated documents reflecting my name change. They in-turn were the ones that notified the vessel and broke the news to my co-workers. Rather, I think they put the last piece of the puzzle together so they could see the whole picture.
It has been a month since all of this happened and I have not had any issues and almost zero questions. Most identify me by my new name, a couple are still stuck in the rut of my male name. I dont push the issue of correcting them as I hope in time they will come around. Even if they dont, i am not too concerned. Acceptance and compatibility is far more important then a proper name or pronoun.
Surgery is scheduled of about 7 months from now.

[CharleneT]

I have a small business, and my client base is also small (very small). I found most to be ok with my transition, lost a few. So a little different than office work or the like. During my transition, due to the downturn and its effect on my biz, I took a second job. I've had two of those and although I was transitioning, I was presenting as female 24/7 by the time I started the 1st of the 2 jobs (that was at a hardware store). In both cases I have not had any trouble - either getting the jobs or with people at work. I have never had anyone question me about my gender. Some must know, many don't ( I think ). These days I don't really think about that much, work goes well and I know that I'm valued pretty highly - so likely pretty secure in the job ( I now work in Pharmacy, compounding medications for intensive care units ).