It finally happened

[Lorileah]

"You have nail polish on your toes" It wasn't a question. It was a statement made by a new client.

"Uh huh." I said.:straightface:

"and your legs are shaved"

"Yes":straightface:

"You are a Cross dresser."

:eek:Hard to defy all that wasn't it? I said "Yes I am." This is the first time in I don't know how many years that someone actually confronted me with it. I don't know how many before noticed and didn't say anything but it isn't something I hide. I wear Huarache sandals and shorts in the summer. Sometimes I change to Crocs and scrubs depending on what I am doing. I don't actively hide it but I don't advertize it either (There is a picture of me on my counter too...most assume it is a sister or GF).

The client was very matter of fact about it. She didn't laugh or accuse or shy away. She asked questions. For those who are worried about what your SO would ask, just think how it is with a person who isn't part of your life.

"Are you a girl?" she asked. Am I a girl? I thought to myself...well I am 57 years old I think girl would be pushing it a bit but I knew what she meant. I explained how I felt about myself on the sliding TG scale. I am a Non-op Non-hormone transsexual. Might have just been easier to say I am an alien from the planet Venus. Probably too much information.

"So, why not?" Too old (in my opinion please don't make this a thread about how I am not really a TS because I don't want surgery or I am a pretender we have played that game before...feel free to PM me if you want to "discuss" this), I see no reason to change the outside when no one will see it but me and I don't really care anymore.

"But you want to be a girl?" I am, in my heart female. I would love for everything to have matched but it didn't and I am content with me right now. Now the heaviest question of all...

"How did you decide to put your business in a Christian center?" :timeout::thinking: OOOOOO-kay. First I didn't know it was going to be a Christian center when I moved in. :worried: Second, I don't think they really care as long as I pay my rent and don't walk up and down the sidewalk in a dress. But I can see her point. I didn't want to get into a theological discussion with her about how the New Testament doesn't really address this. How, there are so many things in the "book" that don't jive so to speak but she wasn't there to argue that point. She was asking basically why I put myself in that situation where my lifestyle could be brought into question.

She had more to ask I am sure. I showed her a few photos. She liked the classy cocktail look over the (mildly) club outfit and the one she liked the best was what I call my Librarian look, Sweater and red cardigan. Since she was picking up her dog from surgery she was ready to go and as she walked out the door she stopped and had one more question...

"What is your girl name?" Lori, Lorileah... (like Bond, James Bond). She cocked her head slightly and said

"Thank you Doctor Lori..." :whew!:

[kristinacd55]

Sounds like you handled it deftly Lori! I just told a male friend that I haven't talked to in 30 years, (on the phone) and I thought it went quite well or as well as could be handled. First time I've told a guy friend, (emailed an old friend awhile back so that doesn't count).

[Kaz]

Nice one Lori! I am assuming that she went away a happy and contented client...

The post raises several issues that I am sure will develop... can I just ask... how did you feel about the experience? Sorry, I am feeling like an interviewer! :heehee:

Good? Bad? Indifferent? Happy? Threatened? etc...:hugs:

[TxKimberly]

Frankly I think that was an AWESOME conversation! She was curious and asked blunt questions that were to the point but not rude, and you answered the same way. Sheit! It just don't get no gooder than that!

[josee]

So how did you feel after she left. Was it good? She was likely not the first to reach that conclusion. Just the first to bring it up.
It sounds like she was very accepting.

[Karren H]

I am totally amazed...... that you wear corcs???? wow..... more like shocked....

[heatherdress]

Thank God she did not catch you wearing the Crocs. Whew. There would have been no way to explain that. Nail polish - OK. Shaved legs - acceptable. Crossdressing - interesting. But wearing Crocs - unexplainable. But you did great on the CD interrogation.

[Marleena]

Oh this is exciting Lorileah!! We need more details!!:)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lorileah, Just another day in the life of a crossdresser and it sounds like things went well.

[Lorileah]

Crocs are standard surgeon apparel so there:tongueout. 5" strappy heels just seems overkill when the patient can't see them anyway



how did you feel about the experience? Sorry, I am feeling like an interviewer! :heehee:

Good? Bad? Indifferent? Happy? Threatened? etc...:hugs:

:thinking: Well, the only big worry is that her children do go to the school which owns the center. But I doubt that she will go home and say "Hey kids your vet likes lace and ruffles" well at her kid's age they would say "So, we like potato chips too." I am beyond really caring a whole lot about it Kaz. I am who I am and I am darn good at what I do, I take a lot of time with my clients and treat them like friends. The pets like me usually too. If what I wear is an issue, there are 800 plus vets in Denver who will take them in ( I won't tell which are TG or gay or whatever). In retrospect I think it is a good thing. She asked my female name and even called me by it which I take as acceptance. This isn't the religious section of the site but I can say that as people go, the people who run this center are very kind, helpful and caring people. They have never once tried to convert me, so I am not worried. It was a very positive experience. The client asked (as Kimberly pointed out) pertinent questions without getting personal or judgmental.

I am "out" to about 20% of my clients anyway. Have met a couple out and about and several have asked if they could go with me sometime when I hit the streets....OK that didn't sound right. :D. I think this was a good thing.

[Amy R Lynn]

Wow, you handled that with class! Well done!

I would think that most of us would have melted right to the spot, but you showed all of us how to do it up right! I'm taking notes!

[tifftg]

What a wonderful discussion. First of all, as always you have so much class. More importantly you reinforce that when you live with personal dignity and get someone who is curious and respectful that answering directly helps teach others. Thanks for sharing this. Wish I lived in Colorado, I would bring my dog in for care..

[Diversity]

FANTASTIC! Great dialogue and no doubt you earned your customer's respect for being so honest.Thank you for sharing this. It is inspirational.
Di

[Marleena]

That went really well Lorileah. She sounded interested and you handled it eloquently. I think you won another one over.:)

[StephanieJ]

I'm an accountant and I have a pair of Doc Marten Mary Janes that I sometimes wear to work.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41kHSfX5GbL._SX342_.jpg

I thought they looked just manly enough that I could get away with it. So far I've had a few strange looks, but only one person has made a comment. A male client said, "I need to take you shopping for some real shoes so you won't have to wear those baby dolls."

The comment bothered me for a while, but then I realized that it could have been much worse... At least I wasn't wearing Crocs! Seriously I wish I had the presence of mind to respond with as much dignity as you Lori. Well done!

[STACY B]

Thats Great ,,, But Ya ever notice its always easier to talk to someone an tell them an Exsplain to them when they have just a little bit of sense ? Little Bit ,,, Cuz if she was a close minded Goof Ball it would not have went so well ,,, Lucky she was Normal ,, Notta Nucklehead ,,,LOL,,,, You said what I would have said .. Good Job Doc Lori ,,,,

[KellyJameson]

It would be interesting to know if her questions were driven by simple curiosity or for more personal reasons.

If personal reasons more questions may come.

Amazing how powerful the act of saying thank you combined with your name is stating respect and possible (probable) acceptance.

This sounds like someone who stands outside the herd mentality that brainwashing creates and fear sustains and may think for themselves, very rare to find someone like this. I find people like this fascinating because they are usually far more stimulating, fear is so boring to be around because it makes everything the same.

I have always thought of you as TS along with many more here, it is a state of mind first and foremost that demands resolution, but there are many paths that lead back
home just as there are many paths that lead to spirituality.

No one else can define for you if you are TS or not and it is best to ignore those who build walls around and with definitions for their own defense because they are trying
to pull others down to save themselves.

Truth can be viewed from many angles and needs to be.

[Debglam]

Frankly I think that was an AWESOME conversation! She was curious and asked blunt questions that were to the point but not rude, and you answered the same way. Sheit! It just don't get no gooder than that!

Me too!!!!!

That is just wonderful Lori!

Deb

[kimdl93]

I guess it was bound to happen. She was obviously tuned in , but then I guess more women than men are likely o notice these details. What's great is the way you responds...showing so much self awareness and her positive response. Congratulations and well done, doctor Lori

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Kim, too! What a wonderful post, Lori. Thanks for sharing your experience. It made my evening!

(But, Karren's rite! Dump the crocs!)

[Tracii G]

Lori I think you handled it in a very professional way good for you.
We need to discuss the croc issue now and maybe get you some help.

[steftoday]

nicely done, Doctor Lori! good for you!!!!!

[Alana Wests]

Crocs are comfy, and they have many different styles to select, including some real femm-y ones! Also Lori cheers to you for repping'so brilliantly and confidently. this, I believe must be the way to acceptence and understanding!

[Lorileah]

It would be interesting to know if her questions were driven by simple curiosity or for more personal reasons.

If personal reasons more questions may come.


Yeah, that occurred to me too. Especially when she asked where all the CD's hung out. The more I thought about it later the more I wonder if for some reason she wanted to go there (BTW, there really isn't a T bar in Denver anymore, Tracks has events and so does Hamburger Mary's but really not a specific T bar)

She made another appointment for her other dog for later in the week, we shall see if anything else happens (now I have to find footwear since I can't wear the Crocs)

[Sara Jessica]

Inspiring to say the least, especially for those of us awaiting that inevitable "a-ha" moment from someone we know well.

[Barbara Ella]

It can be so very difficult if not impossible to come with the honest answers in a realtime conversation. Your ability to respond as you did, so quickly and eloquently really indicates to me that you truly have these thoughts in your soul, and you are who you say you are, nothing more nothing less, and you are totally comfortable with it. I totally support your position re TS. I believe i am finding myself more and more in that position.

Hugs, Barbara

[Cynthia Anne]

Lori, that is a beautiful story! You handled it like a pro! Thanks for sharing a wonderful story!

[stacycoral]

Lori, glad everything went so smooth, girl you do us proud, letting the world know we just like Girls just want to have fun too. Hugs.

[Paula T]

I am totally amazed...... that you wear corcs???? wow..... more like shocked....

Me too as they are the most ugly shoes anybody can wear. And I am putting it very mildly.

[Paula T]

If I lived in Denver I would look you up to be my dogs vet for sure. I have 4 wonderful little boys you would make money off of me. LOL.:)

[Michelle V]

Great story, time are changing and people are becoming more accepting, I hope CDing stops being frowned upon before I die

[Beverley Sims]

I was in London dressed and looking in a boutique.
I was asked by a customer if I was a woman.
I said what do you see?
I see a woman but I was listening to your conversation and wondered.
So I told her. A bit different to your situation but I still came out to her bluntly.

There is another post here in XD about transgendered cats... Do you do them as well.

[Lorileah]

There is another post here in XD about transgendered cats... Do you do them as well.

I am the one who helps them on their journey to be the girl they always wanted to be :) So far we have not done any FFS though. Hormonal and surgical therapy a specialty :)

[kellycan27]

Sounds like you handled it perfectly!

[Kerigirl2009]

Sounds like you had a great conversation with your client. I know its scary when we think about what may happen if someone notices and actually says something. I am getting better about not shying away from showing who I am. I really gave up caring if they like it or not.
I am glad you chose to be honest with her because it puts us in a better light with people when we don't try to hide it from them and just be honest.
Especially with those that are strangers I think it is easier to stay positive about being a crossdresser

[Debglam]

I am the one who helps them on their journey to be the girl they always wanted to be :) So far we have not done any FFS though. Hormonal and surgical therapy a specialty :)

LOL! I have a kitty that thinks she's a dog! Seriously. Suggestions?

[Sallee]

sounds like you handled it perfectly the fact that she asked really blows me away, nonchalantly too. I think that is great I have wanted to ask some that same question but have been reluctant too. I have often wondered what I would say if it was asked of me.

[TGMarla]

Well......that's pretty cool. She was polite, curious, courteous, and even deferential. I'd say that was a positive thing.

I appreciate your sharing it with us.

[Contessa]

Hi Dr Lori

You are so special, good for you. You have made the rest of us CD's and what mores proud. Just like Sara Jessica said we must be ready when our questions start to stand up to us. I wish some would ask me, but seems no one cares or they are afraid to ask. Maybe lol I should ask them if they are afraid.

Tess

[sherri]

It's interesting to me that the lady deduced all that so readily, even using the correct terminology, more or less, without coaching. Makes me think that either crossdressing is becoming more topically mainstream than I realized, or she was drawing on some sort of personal experience, and I'm leaning toward the latter given the unusually germane line of questioning that ensued.

I know that my shaved legs get noticed in the summer -- yes, I see the second looks -- but I'm careful not to display any other sign of femness when in guy mode. After all, there are several plausible if unconventional explanations for a guy shaving his legs. But sometimes it's not our appearance that gives us away, rather our behavior. On two separate occasions I've had women make pointed comments while I was browsing through women's wear. I didn't know either of them, and one was rather snide about it, while the other was nonchalantly matter-of-fact in a friendly sort of way. Neither one seemed interested in engaging on the subject, however. Whenever something like that happens, part of me worries about word getting out, but another part is a little elated that my secret wasn't so secret.

[Alice B]

Very, very well done.

[PretzelGirl]

Yes, she has had some exposure. I don't believe that the average person puts two things together and comes up with CDing that easily.

But the fact that you handled it so well without having been "challenged" for years speaks volumes about your comfort level. And I like that as I believe that if you take a positive outlook to who you are, then you settle into a good comfort level. And while it doesn't cure all issues, it sure makes things easier.

[Sarah Doepner]

I might have thrown my hands in the air and run away. You done good Lori. And don't back down on the crocs, they are ugly as sin but lightweight and comfy for a long day on your feet. I love mine, just watch out when they get smooth on the bottom they have no traction on wet surfaces and you'll fall on your can.

[ColleenCD]

Hi Doc Lori,

You did well with your curious customer. She has the maturity to ask but not offend, you have the wisdom to answer with confidence and truth. Her next visit will certainly answer the question of her interest. You did great Doc!

Colleen