My first ever "pass"

[johanna.kitten]

I'm such a happy bunny, my first ever genuine "pass". (10 months in on hormones and 4 month full-time).

It was kinda funny. I was at the local shopping mall and I opted for using the men's as I just had a very bad experience using the women's recently. It was an enormous wash room and some 10-20 cubicals, entry/exit were just next to the women's and no doors, just a bend to the right or left.

Coming out from there I met a guy going the other way and he stopped when he saw me and started to look for the entry to the men's thinking he was accidently going into the women's. Pass! :)

Too bad I did not take photos, 4'' black heels, black hold-ups, black/white dress, french nails, white leather stap watch, my own hair dyed black not even shoulder length. Pearls and my cute little pink handbag.

Hugs
/Johanna - not linking to my website

[linda allen]

I think if you're dressed like a woman and acting like a woman, you should be using the women's restroom if you can't find a unisex or family restroom. Or go out back behind the dumpster! :eek:

[Cheryl T]

Ditto to what Linda said...
10 months on 'Mones...4 months full time and you don't use the Ladies restroom??????

[Beverley Sims]

This is contra advice to the normal threads this time.
I suggest you use the ladies now. Unless there are some serious underlying problems.

[johanna.kitten]

I do use the women's - it just so happened that I went to the women's at my local bar recently - a place where I've been a regular on and off for years. Got badly beaten up for this by a gang of 3 blokes, yelled at and then permanently banned from the venue. Also, I had security looking at me when I entered the bog in this mall.

(Places like the way out club in London advice you to use the bogs according to how you're dressed.)

Hugs
/Johanna

[DonnaT]

I hope you've reported the venue for violating your rights!

[sandra-leigh]

A few weeks ago, I was in the men's washroom at a hardware store. I was wearing a black tank-top with a shelf-bra, and I think I was wearing shorts (if not then it was jeggings.) I was standing drying my hands, which happened to put me in profile view to the 30-ish guy who came in. He glanced at me, stopped and started to move backwards, with an expression of surprise conveying that he thought he had the wrong washroom. But then he glanced at me again and came back in, having realized he was in fact in the right place.

I've been on hormones for about 20 months, and have been full time as publicly transgendered for a few years, but I don't pass (drats!).

[johanna.kitten]

I hope you've reported the venue for violating your rights!

Donna, no I never did. The venue *was* about 20s walking distance from my home and I know some 20 of the regulars (including my next door neighbour), I also know the Chinese owners that now banned me so it was a delicate situation. I have now moved to another country since a few days so it is just not worth my time, but I do understand where you coming from, they should not get away with these things.

Sandra: I usually have a hard time to pass, more because of age I guess as I had a very rough lifestyle for years, only my last two weeks to Thailand made me look several years older. :( So, this little "incident" was good to me and will keep me going for weeks. I am not really that good with makeup so I'll take on some training for this. These days I wear contacts most of the time which helps.

Hugs
/Johanna

[sterling12]

So, next time where are you going to go? You seem to be "damned if you do, and damned if you don't." I think you better keep an eye out for Those small bathrooms where they have a table for changing The Baby. They qualify as "either, or."

I don't think we get much Respect! The Religious Crazies don't want us in The Women's Lounge. (Going to molest their womenfolk, don't you know?) And, If we are dressed, and venture into The Men's Room, we are either politely told to "Get Out!" Or, we become part of a "Beat-Down."

Do they still sell "The Motormen's Friend?" That's that thing with a bag you strap to your leg, tubing, and a "cup" that goes "You-know-where." Maybe that's our solution?

[johanna.kitten]

I usually keep well away from using wash rooms be they located not in my home. I try to go for the women's as a part of my RLE - assuming this is the way the NHS in the UK want me to behave. I document all things I do, nearly all my day is recorded on video/audio. It is harder for me to be accepted in my new UK and I considering moving to Spain or The Netherlands when I get the chance.

Hehe, the motormen's hu?! Many of my friends are pilots...

Well, what beats me is why there are sometimes the two cubicals one for men and one for women, what is point in this?

Hugs
/Johanna - soon to have them deed poll muppets changing my name - "Principessa Giovanna Del Nord"

[Chickhe]

First off.. sorry about your bad experience, but congratulations on your pass. I too, although I'm just a fair weather CDer... had a similar washroom experience. I have only passed once or twice, but its a wonderful experience... The time I know I passed was on one halloween when I went to enter the men's washroom of a bar where the party was and I was litterally grabbed by the arm and pulled in to the woman's washroom by a girl I did not know. She said...'be careful...you almost went in to the wrong one!!!'. In the same club we also met another group of people and one girl was giving me the stink eye as I was chatting with her boyfriend...later she found out I was a guy and she was then freindly with me. Later on that night at a different club, I was dancing and spoke to my wife and this guy overheard me...he said to his girl friend...oh my god ...that's a guy...can you beleive it...oh wow...his girl friend said just said to him...its okay...just be quiet!

[Brigid]

I can relate to your restroom experience. Somehow I do get confuse for a lady. I don't wear makeup. I have long hair. I do wear blousy shirts, caftan tops, and sometimes a blouse. I don't really try to pass. When I use the men's restroom I will get the strange look and then they will leave and come back in. It is kinda fun.

Brigid

[johanna.kitten]

Yeah, it is rather annoying to have to put up with the thingys people invent - like going to a room with a certain symbol on it. I do find this confsing and also getting a little bit upset with people telling me where to go or be. This is not the only bother I had recently, in my neck of the woods there was a bank holiday monday and apparently some back to skool going on, so I fell for it and got all dolled up in skoolgirl and hit the bars with my old friend Bollinger, got beten up again, locked myself out of my new pad, had to break into my window, cut myself badly, it is not easy to climb into a window wearing high heels and a tight skirt. I am now soo bruised/cut I can hardly eat food from all the pain.

Hugs
/Johanna

[linda allen]

Yeah, it is rather annoying to have to put up with the thingys people invent - like going to a room with a certain symbol on it. I do find this confsing and also getting a little bit upset with people telling me where to go or be. This is not the only bother I had recently, in my neck of the woods there was a bank holiday monday and apparently some back to skool going on, so I fell for it and got all dolled up in skoolgirl and hit the bars with my old friend Bollinger, got beten up again, locked myself out of my new pad, had to break into my window, cut myself badly, it is not easy to climb into a window wearing high heels and a tight skirt. I am now soo bruised/cut I can hardly eat food from all the pain.

Hugs
/Johanna
You're going to have to get used to going to the room with a symbol on it. It's part of living in society. The rooms are often equipped differently for the intended gender.

As for the rest of your post, stop and get it together before you get yourself into big trouble. Most of us manage to get through our entire lifetimes without being beaten up by others.

[Shelly Preston]

Johanna have you heard of the Equality act 2010

You should be using the wash room for the gender your presenting as.

What happened to you was a hate crime and should be reported.

There are two links below from the citizens advice

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/discrimination_e/discrimination_about_discrimination_e/hate_crime.htm

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/discrimination_e/discrimination_about_discrimination_e/equality_act_2010_discrimination_and_your_rights.h tm

[johanna.kitten]

Shelly, I have not - I will look this up pdq, however, bear in mind this incident did not happen in the United Kingdom but in Sweden. I will keep his in mind and even keep a printout with me at time now whilst in the Kingdom again.

Hugs
/Johanna at wannabegirl - deed poll next

I'm getting better at this, practice, practice, practice - got my second pass yesterday. At the local library I was advised by a young man that the ladies was indeed not occupied. Sadly enough, later on, a young mother had a go at me as I was quietly studying, telling me off and got all too violent in her behaviour towards me. As I now have zero tolerance it just resulted in a another police report. Strange that she hurled verbal abuse at me loudly in a library - as she was of an ethnic origin that usually are of the receiving end of abuse of all sorts, so she should have known better.

Hugs
/Giovanna


Johanna have you heard of the Equality act 2010
You should be using the wash room for the gender your presenting as.


So, I'm now exercising this, was just at a local library and young woman had a go at me for using the women's. (men's was out of order btw). After yelling at me for a minute or two, adding some racist slur to it all to spice it all up, I handed her the hardcopy I usually keep in my bag a left.

Hugs
/Giovanna

[GeminaRenee]

So, I'm now exercising this, was just at a local library and young woman had a go at me for using the women's. (men's was out of order btw). After yelling at me for a minute or two, adding some racist slur to it all to spice it all up, I handed her the hardcopy I usually keep in my bag a left.

Hugs
/Giovanna

How strange. It seems that wherever you go, people are just unable to keep from berating you and assaulting you. Yet, most of us seem to get by without all that difficulty, again and again and again. I feel like there is an important part of the equation not being shared with us here. It might be time for some self-reflection, dear.

[I Am Paula]

The vast majority of us can go about our lives with little or no harassment, or violence. I most cases of unjust behaviour I would side with the transgendered person. However, as I read more posts, a few girls seem to be prone to such attacks, making me wonder if there is not some provocation, bad behavoiur, alcohol, or foolish choices at work here. Perhaps some girls are trying to invoke thier rights a little too militantly. In most cases I would prefer genuine acceptance over passing any day.-Celeste

[johanna.kitten]

How strange. It seems that wherever you go, people are just unable to keep from berating you and assaulting you. Yet, most of us seem to get by without all that difficulty, again and again and again. I feel like there is an important part of the equation not being shared with us here. It might be time for some self-reflection, dear.

Just to get some verbal abuse is not too much to worry about. I guess I'm out and about more than most people, this is problably why I get more of this. BTW. today I will be interviewed by the local press and possibly also by the BBC regarding the attack on me two weeks ago. The police is about to release the cctv footage.

Hugs
/Giovanna

[EnglishRose]

I just saw a news story linked from Wipe Out Transphobia on Facebook. What the hell is going on? I really feel for you Giovanna.

[johanna.kitten]

Ah, I was in the media today...

http://www.thisisleicestershire.co.uk/Transsexual-victim-violent-assault-Leicester-city/story-17202518-detail/story.html

/Giovanna

[Sandra]

So is the same story as the one you tired to make us believe here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?182696-Another-hate-crime&highlight=) Sorry but after that thread I find it very hard to believe anything that you say.

[Eryn]

True or not, the problem is with being in a rough bar, not how you were dressed. That's rather poor judgement. A GG would not be likely to make such an obvious faux pax.

[JamieQ]

I think if you're dressed like a woman and acting like a woman, you should be using the women's restroom if you can't find a unisex or family restroom. Or go out back behind the dumpster! :eek:

You know... I was going to use the restroom today but I was unsure which one to use....so I just waited until I got home. Earlier I was going to use the family one at the motel today but I was thinking it might be in use..and then which one do I use?

[linda allen]

You know... I was going to use the restroom today but I was unsure which one to use....so I just waited until I got home. Earlier I was going to use the family one at the motel today but I was thinking it might be in use..and then which one do I use?

If you can wait until you get home to use the restroom, fine. My advice, in this thread, was to the OP who apparently is a transexual and claims to be living as a female.

I don't understand the statement about the family restroom. Pull on the door. If it doesn't open, it's in use. Otherwise, you may use it if you wish.

[Sarah-Ann]

Johanna, I am happy for you sweety, it is not often that most of us get the chance to pass, even in the smallest way. I know these moments are what brings a little bit of sunshine into our days in an otherwise seemingly gloomy world for most CDs, and TGs. Keep it up sweety!

MUAH!!!

Sarah-Ann

[Babeba]

Giovanni,

There are plenty of other bars in Leics. that are MUCH more trans friendly, that also don't blare ridiculously bad karaoke at all hours... although having previously lived in Leicester I'm not unconvinced that was less about being trans and more about just being at the bar when some drunk bloke wanted to be standing where you are.

Your best bet are probably places like Quebec (GLBT club), or one of the artsy places on London Road, like the Lansdowne... have the sweet potato fries and a toblerone martini for me there, will ya? There are a couple of Wetherspoons around, like The Last Plantagenet, and a big chain like that will definitely have PQ policies.

Also: while you're living in Leicester, DO NOT MISS going up to Belgrave Road for an Indian buffet! There are some absolutely amazing places there!

[johanna.kitten]

Babs, I do know some of them, like The Dover Castle, Rainbow and Dove, Helsinki and Sloanes. Apparently most places around Hotel St are rough, just like the Market Tavern where I was attacked. I had it confirmed this was a hate crime as a friend of the attacker approached me in the street last Sunday and told me his mate was now in trouble as I made a police matter out of it. This person also told me his mate "wacked you because you're a ****ing bender" as it were. This person's mate have been showed the CCTV footage by the police. He also mentioned that he did not agree with his mate attacking me. I think this clears it all up and that they got their man.

I did not know about the Quebec, so I'll check it out. The Last Plantagenet is kinda OK to be a Weatherspoon pub - most of them just reminds me too much of McDonald's and IKEA. ;) Cheap and cheerful...

And then Belgrave Rd, I've been there for Curry and I also bought myself a saree there. Ah, and the Lansdowne, I walked by last nite - I'll
keep that one in mind next time.

Hugs
/Giovanna

[Vickie_CDTV]

The fact you refuse to stop going to a place where you have been harassed and physically assaulted is a radically bigger problem than which restroom you should use.

[johanna.kitten]

Vickie - I am permanently banned from the venue where I was assaulted.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Market-Tavern/108921749037

/Giovanna

[linda allen]

Vickie - I am permanently banned from the venue where I was assaulted.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Market-Tavern/108921749037

I would have to guess then, that the owner or manager of the venue determined that you had somehow provoked the assault. Businesses don't usually ban paying customers with no reason.

You really need to look at yourself and try to figure out why all this drama seems to follow you wherever you go. It's not normal and it can't always be everyone else's fault.

[johanna.kitten]

It has been suggested to me that I was banned for my own safety - which kinda makes sense.

Also, would it not be better for their take to ban me, a newcomer in town, rather than a local regular which will have to elsewhere along with his 12 best mates?

This is cut out from an email from the police: "Unfortunately, due to laws under the data protection act I am not allowed to show you the CCTV footage. It clearly shows you being assaulted, not being aggressive, but being knocked to the floor."

Hugs
/Giovanna

[I Am Paula]

Just remember to stay out of Italy, where using a noble title without the proper lineage is illegal.

[johanna.kitten]

OK, I'll think of that next time. I'm there quite frequently as I'm visiting the Lamborghini factory every little now and then. Also got a few former SOs out there.

Hugs
/Giovanna