Went dressed to a concert in the park last night....BUT....

[Alice Torn]

After over two yrs not having the guts to go out, last night, i tried on many outfits, then decided on a longsleeved green printed blouse, and long gray skirt, lowest heel i have 2 1/2" hose, medium length wig, and go for it. Well, i got there a little late, and was amazed at the big crowd there, and saw securuty cops all over. No place to park, so circled around a number of times, about to call off the whole thing, then found a place my car would fit. I just sat in my car listening to the band for a time, could see parents with kids, lots of senior citizens. I just froze, and could not go out dressed, so remained underdressed! My skirt and hose under my male pants. I removed by bra, and balloons, and blouse, and put my guy shirt back on. After sitting in the bleachers where it was dark, i realized, that i could have been just fine, dressed in lady mode. Fear won out though. Fear wins most of the time. I guess i will just go underdressed, until, i can just not think much of what i am wearing. Pretend i am in guy clothes whild in lady stuff!

[RADER]

Where you at Rivina?
That is one place if you have pass, you could get away with dressing, and nobody would even look twice.
I have not been there in ages, Wife needs a wheelchair, and the grounds are not that friendly for them.
Rader

[andrea35]

Hi Alice, I guess most of us go through that ugly fear. I am the same way I go out and drive around and around. when I finally get the courage to step out of the car and begin to walk is a beautiful feeling until I encounter people coming in the opposite direction then I am nervous again, some may notice me some don't some smile some stare but after I am done with my little outings I am happy, relief and ready to do it all over again.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

Hi Alice,
The first step is always the scariest, but after that it's very liberatiing. If I go a while between dressing I, too find the first step daunting, but then relax, knowing most people will not notice or even care how I look. Don't put any pressure on yourself, one day you will take that step.

[Alice Torn]

Rader, No, it was at Dekald. Hopkins Park band shell. For 158 yrs, the Dekalb Municipal band has had summer concerts! Wow! Before The War Between the States!! Maybe we could meet and go out some time.

[RADER]

Alice; Wow that is a little ways from me, I live near Great America Theme Park. That is why I first thought of
Rivina. They always had great summer concerts, and big names too.
Rader

[Alice Torn]

I have heard of Ravinia often, and heard of many great artists performing there. I would kind of like to try it sometime. Would you be interested, too? Maybe a group of ladies!

[VickysBFF]

Sorry to hear that things did not work out for you Alice. If I can make two observations.... the outfit that you described seems a bit overdressed for an outdoor concert. If you want to not stand out, to blend in, tennis shoes, jeans and a blouse would probably be a more appropriate outfit. Secondly, if you have not gone out dressed very much I would suggest going somewhere and doing something more comfortable that would allow you a quick and easy exit if you feel uncomfortable or encounter some problem. Shopping at the mall, going to a movie or a restaurant for example. Something like the event you described with difficult parking, crowds, etc. might not be the best choice of somewhere to go when dressed.
Better luck to you next time.

[kimdl93]

Alice, you don't need to subject yourself to the fears, real or imagined, of such a public venue. I really, strongly urge you to consider joining a transgender support group in your area. Then, you'll have the opportunity to go out among kindred souls. Perhaps you'll look forward to the experience instead of being filled with dread.

[reb.femme]

I just froze, and could not go out dressed, so remained underdressed

Hi Alice,

But you made important steps and as Kim suggested, try a group outing, if you can locate one. Moral support and all that etc etc.
Many are more than aware of that crushing fear, it hit me last week when I made my first public appearance from a hotel.
I saw the male receptionist as I walked up the corridor and hit a glass wall, almost stopped dead in my tracks.
Did an about turn, collected myself, and then thought, stuff it, I'm going. My confidence won and he didn't as much as bat an eyelid, even when I discussed I would be back in about an hour. You hit the wall in a VERY public area, so what?

Some of the other suggestions like dress down a bit are on the ball. Good luck and kudos to you for the attempt. Others have not ventured that far, not a slur on anyone, I hadn't until last week either.

Rebecca x