Crossdressing evolving into transsexualism

[linda.wai]

Any validity in the statement that frequent and intensive crossdressing will turn one into a transsexual, regardless of biological factors?

Any personal experience in prolonged frequent crossdressing turning from a pleasurable pastime to a lifestyle and then into your life?

[Michelle.M]

We just had this thread last week:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?178788-Crossdressing-into-Transsexuality

[Traci Elizabeth]

I do not follow the belief that man begets CD who begets TS. A TS is born a TS. They may not realize they are TS until later in life. By my logic, a TS can never be a CD because when a MTF TS dresses in female clothes, they are wearing the correct clothes.

Its like when it rains, I see worms. Therefore, worms must be made by rain. Pure nonsense!

[Barbara Ella]

Traci has it right. Knowledge is not always realized by the holder before things happen, but the things that happened did not create the knowledge.

Barbara

[Frances]

I would say that my transsexuality, which I was aware of at very young age but had to suppress to protect myself from harm, lead me to crossdress in my teens and twenties in secret, and eventually transition in my early forties. I tried to stop crossdressing in my thirties in the hopes of avoiding transition. It did not work, since it was the other way around.

[melissaK]

Frances' life is a lot like my life up to the point where she transitioned in her 40's. At my 40's I tried the no crossdressing stuff again, and the inevitable breakdown was way worse. In my 50's I'm transitioning (5 years on HRT) while denying that I am transitioning (still in my male role). I know, I know, - don't throw stones - I still have self acceptance issues and interpersonal and job issues I'm working on. But Linda, I reach the same conclusion as Frances, my transgender behavior came first and drove the cross dressing, not the other way around.

A lot of outward denial by me about being transgendered, I told more than one person "I'm just a cross dresser . . ., " but, once I got through some of the fears of admitting to myself I am a transgendered person, the truth that I have always been that is there. For me the cross dressing was part of the process of coming to terms with who I am. A way to wade into the pool of being transgendered, like wading slowly out into a lake before immersing yourself and going for the swim.

And yes, this threads a revisit - probably touched on once a month on this Forum somewhere via rephrasing of the question . . . . but there's always new people and reading old threads lacks the counseling, self exploration, self expression dynamic.

Hugs,
'lissa

[Inna]

stirring the concoction again,...................... hide it will BLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[abby39]

I know a lot of people who thought they were "only" cross-dressers at first. Including myself. Though for years I did feel like I was something "more than" what I saw in the mirror(age 5 or 6? who knows). Different? Perhaps. I just didnt feel I was portraying a good representation of who I really was...am. I think cross-dressing can be a natural progression to transition, but that is obviously not always the case. Depends on the person, and the feelings associated with exploring ones need to "feminize." I can say, for myself, it didn't start off as a sexual release, though that did become an aspect of it(puberty is a bitch), but eventually became much more than that. And now I'm 4 years into HRT and have had a few surgeries, though not the big one...yet. And though the road is a hard one, I dont think I would have picked the alternatives. Is that any help????

I had to edit this because I dont think my original post came off like I wanted it to. :)

[FurPus63]

I have thought about this a lot over the last several months. I began my transition "officially" when I began to live my life 24/7 presenting as a woman about 3 1/2 months ago. I've reviewed my own life and I know that I always felt "different", "weird", "not-quite from this world," "alien," "strange," since as far back as I can remember. I never really enjoyed my life as a boy or a man but couldn't quite explain what was "wrong" with me. When I began crossdressing I was 48! It was then that I "discovered" the truth about myself, and very quickly I became aware within myself that I was transexual and was going to do anything I could to transition from MtF, a.s.a.p.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Perhaps I was naive, ignorant, or just plain stupid; but in all my years of dysfunctional life as a "male;" I never made the connection 'till I put on woman's clothes, looked at myself in the mirror and said,"ah hah!" Followed by feelings of overwhelming joy that can't be described in human words. The obsession and compulsion that followed was overwhelming. I wanted to be "dressed" all the time, etc....

I have read the posts on this forum ever since then. I read the joy and the same/simular feelings being exclaimed from crossdressers here constantly. So many get excited at the prospect of going shopping, picking new outfits, wearing bras, panties, pantyhose, dresses, skirts, lip stick, desires to walk and talk like a woman, etc...etc... The common theme is always a feeling of wanting, desiring, and having obsessive/compulsive feelings of enjoyment and pleasure at the prospect of presenting themselves female. How can it be they are not trans? It's confusing to me.

I too thought at first I was CD. Only because of the overwhelming sense of fear I had. Fear of losing my life, my home, and my possessions. Well once I lost that fear and was able to embrace the truth, the truth of me being TS had to be embraced and accepted as well. Years of depression and repression needed to be examined. Months of hard core inner searching and honest (gut wrenching "down and dirty" ) soul searching was mandatory. It's not easy to admit one is TS. The stigma of the term and all that comes with it, is very difficult (or least was for me) to grasp, embrace and accept. However; with that acceptance has come peace. An overwhelming sense of peace and joy that can't be expressed properly in human words. It's utterly fantastic!

I walk through the halls where I am employed five days (40 hours) a week and smile from ear-to-ear each day because I now know, present and live my life as a woman! It's a fantastic feeling that brings tears of joy to my face almost daily. I'm truly Blessed to have this experience of transition. I know it. I know many others who have not had the positive experience I have had. I recognize the rarity and uniqueness of my situation. Obviously working for a mental health agency has it's advantages! However; I can't help but feel that if other men who currently consider themselves CD and only CD were given the same opportunities in life and simular circumstances; many, many more would join us TSers. I can't help but feel that whether or not we were born this way or it's something else which medical science has yet to discover; being TS and transitioning from CD to it, would be much more common if men who are or consider themselves CD had the life circumstances to make the fear of acceptance (being trans) easier.

My thoughts for now.

Paulette

[BRANDYJ]

I think if this was true, the few thousand members we have here, particularly those of over 40, would have started transition by now. I've been a CD for well over 50 years, when will I start to transition? No, it is not even close to a natural progression. I'm sure there are a few who might have started as a CD and then went on to transition, but that is a very small percentage. From my understanding, most TS's knew they were female from a very early age. Some may not even crossdress and later in life give in to those repressed feelings. We have thousands of crossdressers world wide. If it was a natural progression their would at some point be as many if not more TS's.

[Amalthea]

Wow! Paulette - What a beautiful exposé! Thank you for sharing.

I do not see myself as a CD, I see myself as a TS working out her female needs. Though it is fun to CD everyday, I do not believe I do it for fun. I do it because it's something I need. It is my identity to be a girl. It is an identity repressed for so many decades, where now I feel liberated, free and happy. I go to bed at night smiling to myself as being content. I wake up again with a happy smile and I want to keep that feeling. I do not know if I have the ultimate courage to transition, but I can say this community helps me a lot to follow this long and winding road.

[FurPus63]

Thanks I'm going to copy it and put it in my journal! I fear I will not remember these thoughts!

[kimdl93]

One can't determine validity by a selective polling. Statistically its a skewed by selection biases. You might ask us if we personally feel we have experienced a progression. But I rather doubt that one can become transsexual...by exposure to cross dressing. It's a borne in trait that perhaps is deeply repressed in some people and reveals itself gradually.

[Marleena]

Any validity in the statement that frequent and intensive crossdressing will turn one into a transsexual, regardless of biological factors?



Not likely Linda, most Cders don't cross that line. The reverse is more likely,undiagnosed transsexualism evolving into crossdressing but in the sense of it wearing the proper clothes for one's self.

Just my opinion.

[Sara Jessica]

I think that the learning that comes with self-awareness & experience might lead one who self-identifies as a CD'er to think that a progression towards TS is going on. However, at risk of being rather simplistic, one is born TS and honest introspection as to one's earliest memories when it comes to gender seems like a very important factor in identifying where a person truly resides on the gender continuum.

That doesn't mean that someone who is a CD'er cannot choose to make a lifestyle decision to spend most or all of their time presenting as female.

[KellyJameson]

I have noticed that most crossdressers do not lose their identity as being male from the crossdressing but refer to it as the woman within the man or discovering
their femininity so it is an aspect of their masculinity (identity)

In my mind this is a huge distinction and difference between being TS and crossdressing.

For myself it is reversed where I clearly identify as a masculine female and understanding this allowed me to understand (know) myself by unlearning what others insisted on being true that I accepted as truth.

You do not choose your identity it is chosen for you in that you adopt the identity you must based on who you were born to be so this is firmly in place in the first years of life and it cannot be changed, it is forever.

It is automatic when left alone but twisted when determined by others if that determination runs counter to the reality of the individual and dysphoria is the result.

For me I see it as a tension between opposing realities, opposing truths that are between the person and "all others" and the person and themselves based on how much "all others" are a part of them. (how much they believe what they have been told and taught)

In my opinion the gender dysphoria is underdiagnosed partly because the child instinctively hides it to feel safe (avoid rejection and violence) and because gender
is less of an issue before the reproduction forces become fully matured.

Sex (nature) is as powerful as identity so tension is created by the pull in two different directions and it is difficult to imagine gender dysphoria not affecting sexuality and when they are opposed the person is confronted with a choice that is not a choice (free will)

Most people are in alignment with what others see (and what they see/experience) and who they are so it never becomes a problem and they fit comfortably within their
skin and society so are able to be a part of this instead of making war on themselves and or others.

Crossdressing cannot create identity in my opinion but it can help you discover your true identity that was lost through life circumstances.

You will know this because you will want more than what the clothes can provide and often this is experienced as depression because you move between hope and hopelessness (the possible and the impossible)

Many people think they are not TS because they do not hate their bodies or want to change their bodies but I think this is a mistake because survival requires many choices and if you act to insure survival in one aspect such as surgery but risk survival in others areas (loss of job,family,spouse, ect..) it becomes a choice between two forms of living death and each person must evaluate how to live with this.

To escape one pain that is impossible to carry only to be placed in a position of carrying another form of pain that is impossible to carry is for me the essence of living with gender dysphoria, it is a choice between different burdens (pain)

It confronts the person with the impossibility of ever escaping pain so becomes a relationship to pain and what available choices a person has concerning this pain.

For me gender dysphoria is about escape from pain which is very different than why most crossdress which is for pleasure as an aspect of male identity not for pleasure as an escape from pain from the absence of male identity
while being male bodied.

Crossdressing is a movement from pleasure to pleasure, not from pain to less pain which is experienced as pleasure (relief) for the TS.

[josee]

Crossdressing doesn't turn one into a transsexual. Most hetro-crossdressers like being men. They just enjoy occasionally dressing in women's clothing. What it can do, however is reveal ones true inner self.

Some of us, especially those over 40 built a life as a man, with a wife, children, career the whole nine yards to conceal who we really are. Some of us are trying to cure our transsexuality. Or we may be trying to prove to ourselves and others that we really are something that we actually are not - men. Some of us are trying to band-aid the pain we feel inside by going along with everyone else for a while, "If I can't be a girl I'll just act like a man. Then I'll feel better, normal and people won't point and stare or be so mean."

Unfortunately all this does is delay or prolong the pain in our gut until we ultimately come to grips with who we are. We put on female clothing and it's like the stars align, our breathing slows, our mind finally feels at peace and we discover or re-discover who we were all along.
Now we know the cause of those weird feelings of being an outsider. We know why we have been depressed for so long. Our real personality starts to show through.

Then when we have to go back to our pretend world of manhood is when we truly discover the dysphoria.

At least that is how I see it.

[abby39]

Crossdressing doesn't turn one into a transsexual. Most hetro-crossdressers like being men. They just enjoy occasionally dressing in women's clothing. What it can do, however is reveal ones true inner self.

Some of us, especially those over 40 built a life as a man, with a wife, children, career the whole nine yards to conceal who we really are. Some of us are trying to cure our transsexuality. Or we may be trying to prove to ourselves and others that we really are something that we actually are not - men. Some of us are trying to band-aid the pain we feel inside by going along with everyone else for a while, "If I can't be a girl I'll just act like a man. Then I'll feel better, normal and people won't point and stare or be so mean."

Unfortunately all this does is delay or prolong the pain in our gut until we ultimately come to grips with who we are. We put on female clothing and it's like the stars align, our breathing slows, our mind finally feels at peace and we discover or re-discover who we were all along.
Now we know the cause of those weird feelings of being an outsider. We know why we have been depressed for so long. Our real personality starts to show through.

Then when we have to go back to our pretend world of manhood is when we truly discover the dysphoria.

At least that is how I see it.


The nail has been struck on the head! BRAVO!

Your story sounds strangely familiar...like I'm reading part my own perhaps? :)