Question from GG

[Jayne1963]

For all you cd'ers out there who are happy just being a crossdresser, why do you all use female names and refer to each as girls, is it a need to conform to peer pressure?

[Emily359]

Well, being new to the whole CD forum "scene", I've never referred to another male as a "girl". That does seem to be how people do things, though.

For me, the female name started out as a tool for shopping with my best friend. She would look through clothes and I would say, "I think Emily would like that" or "Do you think that would fit Emily?". Emily wasn't a name that I really connected with until months later, when I got a better wig and really started thinking of myself as that person I was shopping for. I think that having a female name is just a way to keep the two halves of my life separate, and that separation is somehow important even if I don't really know why.

Also, I imagine it's a bit hard to feel beautiful with a really masculine name, and we do want to feel beautiful.

[Claire_tv_uk]

because it would be a bit weird us being called "barry the trucker" or "dave the brickie" and calling each other dude or pal all the time.

[Leslie Langford]

I think it comes down to the simple fact that most crossdressers compartmentalize their lives into the male and females sides of their personalities and gender identities, with very little overlap between the two. We are typically not androgynous, do not dress in unisex-style clothing, nor do we act effeminate or "swishy" when in male mode.

However, when we give free rein to our feminine sides, the girl inside takes over, so it is entirely logical and appropriate within that context that we also mentally adopt a female persona then. Choosing a female name to go along with that is a natural extension of that process, and we often select one which we feel reflects our female personalities or else has some other significance to us - such as paying homage to a female friend, relative, or work associate etc. whom we look up to as a role model.

No doubt some other respondents to your post will have a slightly different spin on this, and as they say, your individual mileage may vary, but I do believe that I have captured the essence here of how most "normal" crossdressers see themselves.

[Jayne1963]

Well the reason I asked was that my fiancé and I are shortly to attend the harmony weekend in the uk( crossdressing weekend), when we booked it, the organiser seemed pretty insistent that my partner adopts a female name for the duration of the weekend, I will feel silly addressing him and hearing others call him by a female name. When he dresses he remains male and merely enjoys wearing the female attire, he has no desire to be female and he like me will find it strange. Also, the organisers requested that he should attend the weekend in full female attire, including wig etc. this isn't something he would normally do although he does posses a wig and has experimented in the past only to find it unbearably uncomfortable. We are looking forward to the event, it will be a first for both of us and the first time he has been seen by any other living sole aside from me of course. I hope this makes sense, I'm gonna wear a wig myself if everyone else is, should be fun and can't wait.

[Jayne1963]

because it would be a bit weird us being called "barry the trucker" or "dave the brickie" and calling each other dude or pal all the time.

Why would it though, I call my fiancé by his normal name and it's not weird for me. Does your wife or partner call you by a girls name?

[Emily359]

Well the reason I asked was that my fiancé and I are shortly to attend the harmony weekend in the uk( crossdressing weekend), when we booked it, the organiser seemed pretty insistent that my partner adopts a female name for the duration of the weekend, I will feel silly addressing him and hearing others call him by a female name.

That seems a little crazy. I would've expected something like that to encourage people to be themselves, not force rules like that on everyone.

[Jayne1963]

That seems a little crazy. I would've expected something like that to encourage people to be themselves, not force rules like that on everyone.

It wasn't exactly rules, more he was encouraged!

[bridget thronton]

My wife addresses me with my male name - my friends use either name depending on the situation

[Beverley Sims]

It seems more like protocol than any thing else.
My girl Bill does not seem to fit.
A boy named Sue doesn't fit either.
When I go out in a dress and give the appearance of being a girl and with a group of GG's I really do not one of them calling out, "Hey Bill you orta get a pair of bras like these."

[Jayne1963]

It seems more like protocol than any thing else.
My girl Bill does not seem to fit.
A boy named Sue doesn't fit either.
When I go out in a dress and give the appearance of being a girl and with a group of GG's I really do not one of them calling out, "Hey Bill you orta get a pair of bras like these."
That makes perfect sense to me Beverley, but going to a function where everyone knows anyway and using female names on this board doesnt, or is it just me? I know about the varying degrees of crossdressing/transgender, but I was led to beliieve that the majority of the members on these boards are like my partner and merely enjoy the wholesome feeling of wearing female attire and have no wish to be female. Please don't get me wrong, I just want to understand.
Nd

[sterling12]

And then there's The Fear Factor. Some of them figure if you have a male first name, and we know what town, then they could get "Outed!"

Note: If someone actually cared about doing this, it would probably be more likely in Podunk with a population of 2000, rather than Los Angelus. But, I'll just bet that Podunk has many more than one Larry, or Phil, or Don. We didn't say it was logical....just common-old everyday fear!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Emily359]

I'm pretty sure your assumption that most of us are not pre-op transsexuals is correct. Naturally, I can't speak for everyone, but while I may not ever "become" a woman, I do like to feel beautiful. For me that means trying to act and feel like a woman because society has taught me that men aren't beautiful and only women strive to be. If I'm going to try to feel womanly, a name just helps to complete the picture. It's just another element, like make-up or a wig, to make that persona feel more real.

If I'm being honest, I imagine it also just makes it feel more acceptable to me. Maybe I'm just not "there" yet, but being a man in a dress is a lot harder for me than "being" a woman. It just feels wrong (again, probably because of society's influence on my mind over the years). I find that as time goes on and I accept myself more, the two personas are actually blending a little bit.

[Mollyanne]

I can only speak for myself, but I have ALWAYS wanted to be a girl. I started crossdressing as a way to "let out" my wishes, desires and my feelings. There are many times when I'm addressed as Molly and feel that I have achieved my most inner desire(s) to be the "girl" that has always lived deep within me. I realize that we are all different, have different dreams, desires, comfortability so on and so on. I guess you could sum it up by saying "belonging to a group is important for anyone"

Molly

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you don't wish to use a femme name, that is certainly the right of you and your boyfriend. I am not familiar how Harmony is set up, but odds are you are going to be spending a fair amount of money with these folks, and I'd remind the person you spoke with of that and use that to "encourage" them to be more appreciative and respectful of others.

(Speaking as someone who runs a business, I'd never pressure someone to be addressed in a manner they did not wish!)

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Jayne. My wife picked my femme name so when we are out shopping we can discuss what Jolene might look good wearing while in the store. I only dress at home (at least for now) and don't want to be exposed in the town where I live (small town). Also on here it does seem to work as we have lurkers some of which might know us if there was more to make the connection. So if we are going to use a different name and we like to dress as ladies why not have a femme name.
Just my take on it.

Jolene

[Jayne1963]

If you don't wish to use a femme name, that is certainly the right of you and your boyfriend. I am not familiar how Harmony is set up, but odds are you are going to be spending a fair amount of money with these folks, and I'd remind the person you spoke with of that and use that to "encourage" them to be more appreciative and respectful of others


(Speaking as someone who runs a business, I'd never pressure someone to be addressed in a manner they did not wish!)


Hi Vickie, I don't think they are being disrespectful, in fairness we asked them for advice and they gave it how they see it and thats fair enough I think. We're really looking forward to the weekend and don't think the organisers have any other alterior motive and most is based on a voluntary basis but thanks for your comments.

[prettytoes]

Speaking for myself, I have not taken on a female name, nor do I use the "girl" reference. I have a wig, but seldom wear it, and I am not a big user of makeup...maybe a bit of mascara once in awhile. I simply like the way women's clothing looks and feels on me. Panties are far more comfortable than boxers or jockey shorts, and I just feel more comfortable in a short skirt or capris than I do in shorts. I sleep better in a silk nightie than I do in pajamas (unless the pajamas are silk or satin!) I do, however, like having my toe nails polished, and I love the feel of smooth legs (I keep them smooth year round). I am an avid cyclist, so no one thinks anything of it.

[Shari]

I recall the first time I was called by my femme name, it gave me quite a rush.
It helps to complete the personna of what we're trying to become.

[RachelPortugal]

Why would it though, I call my fiancé by his normal name and it's not weird for me. Does your wife or partner call you by a girls name?

My wife calls me Rachael when I am dressed. She was the one who instigated choosing a femme name, so she did not have to use my male name when we were out together en femme.

[STACY B]

For all you cd'ers out there who are happy just being a crossdresser, why do you all use female names and refer to each as girls, is it a need to conform to peer pressure?



What in the world are you asking ? They call there selves female names ? You meen to tell me that all this time those aren't all of your names ? Now ya realy got me confused . What these people are full of deception on here by useing another name ? An the whole Dam time I thought you all were being honest with me ? Crap now I feel so violated ,, Thats my real name Stacy B--- Ware--- Stacy B -- Good ---So from now on yall better stop all the madness an use your real names ,,Or I think a Spanking is in order .:spank: :spank:

[Claire Cook]

Why would it though, I call my fiancé by his normal name and it's not weird for me. Does your wife or partner call you by a girls name?

My GG friends generally call me Claire when we're out and about. However, Sue usually calls me by my male name when I'm dressed. That doesn't bother me ... but I trust she won't when we are both in the ladies' room!

[Kate Simmons]

It has a lot to do with self identity perception Hon.:)

[Kathy4ever]

I think it is part of the illusion or just playing the part by using the female name. It does help in conceiling your identity from others that you wish not to know. Nobody knows my name except me. This is part of the private Kathy in a sense. I think like others have said that it does make it easier when you shop as you can speak like you are talking about someone else about a fitting issue or style or color. Maybe you will get use to it and start doing more often. Just think you get to help pick a name for him and it could become a celebration like another bithday but for the female version. I agree they should not force you but why don't you just try it for that weekend and see how it works for yall. You might enjoy it after you get over the awkwardness of it.

[Kaz]

Hi Jayne,

I can see that you are fairly new to the forum/site. What I have discovered over the past years is that we are not all the same and do not fit into one box. OK there may be a box called crossdresser, but within that box there all sorts of different motivations and desires. Some of just underdress (knickers and tights, etc..), some us want to do a full transformation, and there is everything in between. There are also times when some of us get into our inner feelings about this.

I have reservations about an event like the one you mention creating a one size fits all situation, but I can understand that they might encourage participants to get rid of any constraints on their ability to 'go the whole way'. Many of us would love to but for various reasons can't and they may be appealing to this aspect.

On the names, that is interesting. I can only tell you about my situation really... Pre-puberty I remember wishing I could change into a girl. When that stage struck I resigned myself to the fact that this was it I was a boy turning into a man. So I accepted my genes and embraced it all, had girlfriends etc.. Every now and again though I would want to try my mother's clothes on... just to feel what it must be like... My life has been a case of me wishing these urges would go away whilst at the same time enjoying the brief moments I had when I couldn't resist. A few years ago I reached a point in my life where I realised this would never go away and that I should accept. I had the opportunity to be away from home a lot staying in hotels, and I started experimenting with make-up and wigs... When I saw this different person in the mirror, it just seemed logical to give what looked like a woman (even if a strange looking one) a female name. I found an on-line forum and registered with that name and then she sort of had an identity. Over the years I have got better at the transformations. When I found this forum it made sense to register as Kaz.

I find the name helps as I can compartmentalise things. My 'guy' mode is the father, husband, career, musician etc.. the main life I have lived for decades. Kaz is this other side of me that has been hidden for decades and has only recently been released - not fully, but it is there and accepted by me finally.

In reality I am not two people - but the female name gives a sort of legitimacy to the side of me that was shut away for so long.

[linda allen]

Lots of good answers here and if anyone didn't already know it, we all have our reasons for dressing and such. Different reasons.

You'll find that on most web forums, people use screen names, not their given names. Car forums, computer forums, etc. A guy posting on a car forum might be know as "Toyota Guy" rather than his real name "Joe" or Bill". It's partly an identity that we are giving ourselves and partly to obscure our real identity. You might think that only crossdressers visit this site and would see a post, but a web search on a name will often return posts in forums you wouldn't normally visit.

As for me, dressing as a female is in my own way "pretending" to be a female so "Joe" or Bill" would just be wierd. "Linda" is the name my mother would have given me if I had been born a girl (back in the days when you didn't know until the baby was born). "Allen" is a family name, hence "Linda Allen".

I would love to have my wife call me by a female name when I'm dressed but I haven't yet figured out the right way to bring the subject up. It wouldn't be Linda, it would be a female version of my male name. I tried a couple times saying "XXX's closet seems to be filling up.", but it didn't catch on.

The lucky ones are the ones with gender neutral names. Kim, Dana, etc.

[Karen_K]

I would agree with what many of the replies here have said: That there is a broad spectrum of motivations and identities. Speaking for myself, I use a female name and the personal pronoun when I go to CD events, but I wouldn't say I totally identify with them. It wouldn't particularly bother me if they weren't used, in other words.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jayne, We are Crossdressers it's who we are and it's what we do it's all part of the program.

[melissakozak]

Because having a feminine name validates who we are. It also makes sense. At one of our meetings, a recently out CD in her 60's came out and had not thought of a name. So 'BOB,' stood there in a skirt and top and 'BOB' felt a bit strange surrounded by GURLS with feminine names. It is empowering and necessary. It gives us an identity that is VERY REAL. Yes, our core personalities remain, but when our feminine sides are expressed, I hardly think we look, act or feel like a BOB, RICHARD, MARK or whatever our masculine name happens to be. And for those of us who live full time or 50/50 or whatever the case may be, a feminine name is definitely a necessity.

Crossdressing is not so much about what we do as it is about how we identify a part of ourselves. And identifying that part of ourselves includes giving ourselves a femme name. It really is that simple.

[Thera Home]

For all you cd'ers out there who are happy just being a crossdresser, why do you all use female names and refer to each as girls, is it a need to conform to peer pressure?

Hi Jayne
I believe thats just the finishing touch. I dont believe Ive ever met a girl with the name Ronald before.:heehee:

Thera

[Amy Fakley]

"It seemed customary", is about the only reason I can give for having used a femme nickname when joining the board.
After using it for a while ... I can't say I've really connected with this particular name, but it's been an interesting thing to play with. Using a correctly gendered nickname for this side of my personality provoked me to try to define other facets of her as well ... to construct a more fully defined female persona. It's been a pretty rewarding exercise, I'd say.

[linda allen]

Hi Jayne
I dont believe Ive ever met a girl with the name Ronald before.:heehee:

Rhonda? :battingeyelashes:

[BRANDYJ]

Interesting thread Jayne. In my case, I have been a CD since age 10. I never gave thought until I told my then girlfriend about my desire to wear women's clothes. The hardest thing I ever had to do. This was way back in the early 70's before the Internet and easily available information about who and what we are. I was about as uneducated on the subject as my GF. It did not go over well for a period of time. Once she and I both understood it more and found I was far from alone, she came out and asked me if i had a girl's name to call myself. I didn't. So I gave it some thought since she insisted that I should have. I came up with the name Janice since I thought of a girl in junior high school I so admired at the time. So using a female was at her suggestion or urging, not my own need for it. Later, after she passed away and I met the women that became my second wife, she was fine and accepting of my dressing from day one after telling her. In fact her reaction was more like, " so what, is that all there is to tell me. She too asked me if I had a fem name. When I told her I did, she didn't like the name and renamed me Bridget. After almost 19 years together we divorced, (for other reasons then CDing. I met my current SO. Once again, it was my SO that brought up the use of a female name. She did not like Bridget and she renamed me Brandy. So my point is that sometimes it's the GG partner that suggests or wants us to have a female name. I like it and like others, would feel funny answering to Jim when in fem mode. Kind of like the saying, "when in Rome, do as the Romans". To me, ot is part of the total transformation from male to female mode. What you will find is that many of us, including alpha/macho males do all we can to emulate a woman in every non-permanent way we can. So it's far from unthinkable that part of that transformation is the use of a female name.

[Julogden]

Many of us dress due to gender identity issues, and we feel better if we adopt a feminine name for ourselves as part of the whole package.

Carol

[becky77]

There is no single answer for this as we are all at different levels, if I went to this Harmony event I wouldn't be seen dead without full make-up and wig etc. For me I have to look as close to a woman as I can, a deluded dream I can never accomplish, but it's what drives me. Now when it comes to names and the 'girl' thing I start to feel uncomfortable, even more so if my wife is around. It feels right to choose a female name especially when you wish to keep your CDing private.

The best way to describe it is using the toilets, lol stay with me here... When i'm dressed up what toilet do I use, society has only allowed us 2 choices. I don't feel like a 'normal' man and everything inside me doesn't want to use the male toilets. I feel uncomfortable to use the females, at the end of the day, i'm not a genetic woman either.

So if someone wants to address me and they only have two options sir/madam, boy/girl what do you choose? You can only go with the aspect you are presented with. And although I find it difficult to fully link to the name Becky, it's a hell of alot more comfortable than 'Barry the trucker' (thats not my name or career lol) If only my parents had given me unisex name :D

[Beverley Sims]

That makes perfect sense to me Beverley, but going to a function where everyone knows anyway and using female names on this board doesnt, or is it just me? I know about the varying degrees of crossdressing/transgender, but I was led to beliieve that the majority of the members on these boards are like my partner and merely enjoy the wholesome feeling of wearing female attire and have no wish to be female. Please don't get me wrong, I just want to understand.
Nd

We don't just enjoy the wholesome feeling of wearing female attire.
Most of us do not want to be female either.
Using female names is part of the illusion of dressing up and also corresponding with others.
In replies here you do see the testosterone come out a bit in the slanted male jokes.
Some here do want to transition and as they are mixed in with "us" so to speak, you have to filter out the different points of view.
I hope the rain has stopped, welcome to the forum, I think everyone is pleased to see you wanting to find out what goes on and may it bring a better understanding to your relationship.
Most girls I know think guys are wonderful, whatever their shortcomings.
Me! I still think girls are the best thing since sliced bread was invented. :)

[susan54]

Reasonable question, but many different answers. At home I dress for style and comfort, but do not bother with wig or make-up. I use a wig and cosmetics to go out in the same way that a stage actor would. I am playing a part - I do not think of myself as a woman but I like to get into the part - there is a sense of pride in getting the costume, accessories, movements and voice right, and the role I am playing would have an appropriate name, just as on the stage. And, just like acting on stage, it is fun, and even more fun if people behave as though they believe in the part you have created. Also, I go out but I am not 'out'. I am not going to use my real name so if I am going to invent one it might as well be one that goes with the part I am playing.

[April_Ligeia]

Those of us who are in the closet at work, etc., are not about to use our real names. And it would be weird to use an assumed male name for a female image. It makes perfect sense to me.

[Phoebe Reece]

For those of us who regularly go out in public crossdressed, here is another way of looking at it. Being a crossdresser is somewhat like being an actor. You play the part of a female character - your character needs a female name to help make the illusion believable.

[Jayne1963]

I'd like to say aBIG thank you to all you girls, wow, you've given such great answers. I now have a greater understanding and that's what this website is about. Wow, I've gotta say this forum is fascinating and addictive. Thank you x

[Sharon B.]

Yes I have adopted a feminine name but you could always use a feminine name that closely resembles his name.

[BRANDYJ]

I'd like to say aBIG thank you to all you girls, wow, you've given such great answers. I now have a greater understanding and that's what this website is about. Wow, I've gotta say this forum is fascinating and addictive. Thank you x

Jayne, what makes this forum addictive to some of us, is the participation opinions questions, advice and insight of our GG members. If this site was just MTF CD's, I'd probably not be a regular and addicted to it as I am. Thanks for being here.

[Inna]

Jayne, I first must congratulate and praise you for open mind rarely found amongst stereotype and congruity infested human condition. On the other hand you will have a ton of discovery and insights into the crossdressing TG community. I tend to think that an individual who has TG, I use HAS instead of IS for a reason, walks along the path of sorts, how far and when if ever that remains a personal condition but it, nevertheless is a path of discovery. Remain open minded, as you shall observe and feel the growth of discovery as well.

Have a phenomenal trip and fantastic time together, love, Inna

[CDPheobe]

My wife gave me the name so i just went along with it. Plus calling me by my first name, kills the situation. Lol

[ColleenA]

For 30 years, I did not have a femme name; I simply cross-dressed – mostly in the privacy of my own home, though on occasion I underdressed when going out. When I was married, my wife was not accepting, so I still had no interaction with anyone else while playing at being a woman. It never occurred to me to take a female name until about 8 years ago when I first went to some transgender web sites. Colleen is not a fully formed personality distinct from the rest of me, yet it does feel appropriate that I not be “Ronald” when I’m wearing a dress and heels or acting like a woman online.

Time now for some overanalyzing …
There is one aspect about names, though, that occurred to me a few years ago. In our society, men’s names tend to be rigid, while women’s names usually are fluid. By that, I mean men get their name at birth and keep it their whole life. On the other hand, women by enculturation generally expect to change their name at least once in their life.

My sister, through marriage, has moved up the alphabet from Peterson to Grant to Busby (actual initials, not actual last names). A cousin changed her last name when she got married – as expected (the enculturation) – but reverted to Peterson when she got divorced. How often have you seen a man change his last name?

First names do offer some variation. Robert J. Busby may go by Rob, Robbie, Bob, Bobby, or even RJ. Nicknames are not very common, but he is more likely to be known as Buzz (a spin on his last name) than as Chip or Spider. And middle names offer further variety (as with Mitt Romney). Overall, though, men are not provided a lot of elbow room in what they are called.

So, whether it is a part of the fantasy or expresses an inner reality, a female name also gives us some freedom from the rigidity most men automatically accept about their own name.

[PretzelGirl]

A boy named Sue doesn't fit either.

And why not? :heehee:

To add to all these thoughts, you can also look at it this way. If you are in a mix of transgender people who all feel different ways about where they are and where they are heading, it is largely common that they do all want to be referred to with feminine pronouns. This is sometimes just for comfort and for others they feel completely feminine. So it stands to make sense that the names would align with that thought. It also is then a lot easier to have consistency of how to address each other or else we would all be stumbling through our words.

I didn't have a fem name until it was time to come up with a login here. I have since used it with others and on Facebook. So after all this use, I pretty much have my ears attuned to Sue when dressed. But that doesn't mean we have to be militant about it. When I am out with my wife, there have been many times she has slipped with his name, saying "him", or saying "my husband". She gets apologetic but I laugh as it isn't a big deal. It can be confusing.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'd been dressing for many years on my own and in my closet without the final accessory of a female name. I'd used something neutral when I first signed on to a chatroom, but eventually I realized that part of the process of accepting my crossdressing was to admit I needed a female name. It wasn't needed until I started on that road and ever since it has been a nice stable piece in my world. I can visualize Sarah. I can go shopping in drab with my wife and talk about getting something for Sarah easier in a public place than saying I'd like this for me. When I get with others and I'm crossdressed it just feels more comfortable and appropriate to have female names. No one will mistake me for a woman, but there is no reason to call attention to the woman-like creature by calling her Dave.

[GaleWarning]

Hi Jayne. I am happy to be someone who does not use a femme name.
I aint no gurl/ girl.

[Davena Doll]

Crossdressing peer pressure....that's funny, well I have been told I need to dress more appropriatly from full timers. I live a depressing, boring life, so coming up with a name was something fun for me to do. Girl, girl friend, sister, is better than ''hay dude is this halter top in season''?

[Allisa]

It just seemed to be a natural progression to adopt a femme name to go with the mind set.
Lisa

[wilt575]

At the moment we are in apperance females, we address our selves as we present our selves, also draw less attention when out. Short to the point! Would you not notice it more if two girls would greet each other as Frank and Bill.

[simplykaelyn]

Hi Jayne,

I can see that you are fairly new to the forum/site. What I have discovered over the past years is that we are not all the same and do not fit into one box. OK there may be a box called crossdresser, but within that box there all sorts of different motivations and desires. Some of just underdress (knickers and tights, etc..), some us want to do a full transformation, and there is everything in between. There are also times when some of us get into our inner feelings about this.

I have reservations about an event like the one you mention creating a one size fits all situation, but I can understand that they might encourage participants to get rid of any constraints on their ability to 'go the whole way'. Many of us would love to but for various reasons can't and they may be appealing to this aspect.

On the names, that is interesting. I can only tell you about my situation really... Pre-puberty I remember wishing I could change into a girl. When that stage struck I resigned myself to the fact that this was it I was a boy turning into a man. So I accepted my genes and embraced it all, had girlfriends etc.. Every now and again though I would want to try my mother's clothes on... just to feel what it must be like... My life has been a case of me wishing these urges would go away whilst at the same time enjoying the brief moments I had when I couldn't resist. A few years ago I reached a point in my life where I realised this would never go away and that I should accept. I had the opportunity to be away from home a lot staying in hotels, and I started experimenting with make-up and wigs... When I saw this different person in the mirror, it just seemed logical to give what looked like a woman (even if a strange looking one) a female name. I found an on-line forum and registered with that name and then she sort of had an identity. Over the years I have got better at the transformations. When I found this forum it made sense to register as Kaz.

I find the name helps as I can compartmentalise things. My 'guy' mode is the father, husband, career, musician etc.. the main life I have lived for decades. Kaz is this other side of me that has been hidden for decades and has only recently been released - not fully, but it is there and accepted by me finally.

In reality I am not two people - but the female name gives a sort of legitimacy to the side of me that was shut away for so long.

Couldn't have said it better myself Kaz.

[Dree Yer Ane Weird]

Don't have a femme name, never wanted one. Already got an alter ego and its a guy, adding a femme alter ego to that would be heading for trouble. The two of them would prolly bugger off and leave me on my todd.

[Jenniferathome]

For me, the female name is because using my male name is so incongruous to my female image. I do not feel more feminine for it. Regarding your second question about referring to other crossdressers as "girls, ladies, women, whatever" I never do that. We are men. I don't get that part.

[sometimes_miss]

For all you cd'ers out there who are happy just being a crossdresser, why do you all use female names and refer to each as girls, is it a need to conform to peer pressure?

I don't know if it's 'peer pressure', as I never felt any pressure, but pretty much everyone else was doing it, so,why not. So I picked a name that was the female version of the male name I would have chosen to have if it were up to me. The nickname 'Lexi' is more of something that would reflect the age at which I feel 'stuck at' as a girl. I never had a female name until I started on this site.

[WifeofWrenchette]

I call my husband by his female name when he's en femme because he sees himself as female when dressed the part. I think they called each other girls because here and when they are together they see themselves as girls. It just makes sense.

[Cheryl T]

Well, since I go to all these lengths to present as a female and I feel so female when I do it really disturbs me to be called "he", "him" or by a male name.
When I'm dressed I am Cheryl....please refer to me that way.

[Maria 60]

Of course after almost a life time of hiding my female name is the least of my worries, at least now I could talk about my problems and express myself even if it isn't with my real name. My female name also started when I would go shopping with my wife, instead of asking do you want this, she would then ask do you think Maria would like this. I don't expect her to call me Maria and you could say just like my whole life this is my hiding name, just makes something complicated a little easier.

[jillleanne]

".........just being a crossdresser............. Well, I suppose for some it's much simplier to accept that statement but for many gg's it's not. And there lies just one more issue we will not entertain here thankfully. lol The spectrum of gender expression is so very broad isn't it, as most will learn over time.
As for my name, Jill. Well, I would simply have a hard time associating the name 'Ralph' or 'Harry', or whatever, to anyone representing the female gender. I choose to use a female name to complete my expression of my feminine self; it's just another part of my female package as a whole. It helps make me complete when expressing Jill to the public. For people like myself that mingle/interact with the public, I suspect you will find we all have a fem name. For many that choose to live deep in the closet, I would suspect they have no need to choose a fem name, and then there are all the others in between that may or may not.

[bobbimo]

Jayne,
Its all part of completing the dream.
You could also ask why we do makeup or wear breast forms. They also are not dressing.
It also makes it easier when your shopping for your wife/SO to ask you if Amy would like this dress, as opposed to Fred.
Bobbi

[mbmeen12]

Of course after almost a life time of hiding my female name is the least of my
worries, at least now I could talk about my problems and express myself even if
it isn't with my real name. My female name also started when I would go shopping
with my wife, instead of asking do you want this, she would then ask do you
think Maria would like this. I don't expect her to call me Maria and you could
say just like my whole life this is my hiding name, just makes something
complicated a little easier.

Well said, my wife helped me pick my name Kara for being Irish and during my awakening/new me. Today she needs a new pair of frames, and Kara (me) will be there, for a womans opinion. She would say things like, "well if want to be a woman then you need to do certain things and feel the experience". I hope this helps you a little.

[kristinacd55]

Peer pressure? I guess you could call it that, but when I chose my name way back when I didn't think about it then. Since you have the appearance of being female, a female name is appropriate to go along with it. :)

[Marleena]

Regarding your second question about referring to other crossdressers as "girls, ladies, women, whatever" I never do that. We are men. I don't get that part.

See that's where I'm different. When I'm here I am Marleena and most other times too (long story). I do adress other MTF's as girls unless they are uncomfortable with it. Some of the MTF's (mostly CDer's) want to be thought of as men with a femme side they tap in to.

Now Jayne if you were to to go to a CD convention or gathering the MTF's would expect to be referred to as one of the girls.

[Rachel05]

I just like to be Rachel and move away from my ordinary life for that period of time that I can !

[krissy]

for me its just part of what i feel like when dressed .there are times i dont dress but when i dress i like to feel like a woman even though i know im not .its the woman in me lol.i know im not a girl and sure as hell would not pass at my age but when i put on the clothes i feel just as beautiful as any woman .so i take a name to also match what i feel inside .im not gay or t.s im straight dont have anything against anybody just love dressing and being me

[ChristineM]

For all you cd'ers out there who are happy just being a crossdresser, why do you all use female names and refer to each as girls, is it a need to conform to peer pressure?

I think it may be that you're looking at being a cross dresser as this [.] while it's actually [.................................................. ..]

Some crossdressers , as has been said here, just want to wear a few feminine things, some only under-dress, while on the other end some, such as me, want to present as fully female as possible to include a female name.

[Stephanie47]

There is only a physical male inhabiting this mass of protoplasm. However, there are two identities inhabiting it also. They are fraternal twins, one male and one female. Rather than confuse the world, one uses the feminine of the masculine. It's simple.