Frédérique
08-24-2012, 08:41 AM
“Have you got it together? If so, how often?” (Neil Tennant)
Whilst reading Persephone’s recent thread, I was struck by the word “shortcoming.” It was implied (not by Persephone, but by the laws of society) that being a transgendered individual is some kind of shortcoming. Since I’m a MtF crossdresser, associated with the “T” in GLBT (or LGBT, if you prefer) for convenience, I’m left to consider whether or not my crossdressing represents human shortcoming. Have I come up short in the panoply of life? Hmmm...
“Says who?” would be my first (and only) reply. It’s all about expectations, my friends, and those who either do not accept their predetermined gender roles, or play with the whole idea of gender for pleasure, come up short in the eyes of society. Who is society? Why, it’s the people next door, the people across the street, and the people who surround you, following in the footsteps of those who have gone before, never considering deviation as something WORTHY of consideration. Nope, you’re supposed to do certain things, act a certain way, and fulfill your requirements according to the precepts of conformity. In short (pardon the pun), you are not supposed to go beyond the boundaries that have been put in place for everyone else’s benefit. But, if you come up short with your “self,” how can THAT not be considered to be a shortcoming? I don’t get it...
It’s the same old story – I, the MtF crossdresser, am considered to be deficient, according to someone else’s standards, put forth from a foundation of gender correctness. Did I miss a meeting? I’m a male that wears women’s clothing, and I’m (apparently) not supposed to do that, but why is this a shortcoming, and not just a cute eccentricity, or a form of expression? Am I neglecting my “duty” by not being 100% masculine? Am I deviating from propriety TOO far, thus causing every normal person undue consternation? Is it my FAULT that I prefer to engage in the profession of being, and not do what everyone else is doing, i.e. filling up my time with what others feel amounts (or leads) to happiness? It seems to me that deviation from the norm is a valid, necessary human characteristic, and, since there are plenty of people (males) on Earth who will keep within bounds no matter what, why can’t we deviants be allowed to...ahem...deviate?
The implication is that we crossdressers, and all transgendered individuals, are defective, so we are beneath contempt or not worthy of lofty human compassion, but if you conform you will be rewarded. As far as I’m concerned, you have to expect variation in any system or populace, and we are living proof of that. Some of us like to dance to a different beat, or challenge societal mores, or experiment with our lives, perhaps as a form of questioning that is ongoing, if not essential. Why is this seen as a shortcoming, and not championed as a GOOD thing? Is it because I’m not equal to the “purpose,” namely the purpose that has been decided upon for the good of all concerned? From my point of view, I’m helping by exercising my rights and expanding my own parameters. In other words I’ve gone beyond my own human (and societal) shortcomings, turned away from expectation, and “crossed” the line, questioning EVERYTHING along the way...
And yet, to people who fail to understand these things, I am beset with shortcomings. Something essential is missing in me, and I cannot be taken seriously – I cannot affect the object I am supposed to affect, my resources are inadequate, and I am unsuitable on all levels. We poor MtF crossdressers are not even worth mentioning in the realm of alternative behavior, such is the contempt for males who do something completely un-manly. It is implied that my penchant for crossdressing is inadequate, but, by definition, adequate means “barely satisfactory.” I would much rather be extraordinary, and not “see” my crossdressing as some kind of epic FAIL – it does not mar my appearance or character, rather it allows my true character to emerge. Not to engage in such an activity would definitely equate with shortcoming, but try to tell that to a “normal” person who either cannot, or will not, understand such profound, natural things...
I suppose I am an incomplete person, just like everyone else, but “complete” is a term open to conjecture, defined by what you believe or what you aspire to be. Crossdressing makes me feel complete, and, if I wasn’t able to dress and let my precious ”self” emerge, I would feel like I was living a woefully inadequate life, barely satisfactory but bereft of pleasure and happiness. I am in no way defective; in fact I have gone BEYOND expectation, to a world where the possibilities never seem to end. In my mind, MtF crossdressing continues to fulfill my needs, expectations, and requirements, and I am satisfied, but to others (the outsiders), I am a living, breathing, human shortcoming. I am impossible to understand, for everyone has already said NO to what I do, in fact the world wishes I didn’t exist. I can’t stop; indeed “stopping” is out of the question for people like me. I answered the “call” to be truly different, even though it meant turning away from a life that was predictable, adequate, barely satisfactory, and...yes...uninteresting. Rather than come up short, I have flown beyond the boundaries that were meant to constrain me. Each day I try to be all I can BE – how can this possibly be a shortcoming?
It seems to me that staying within bounds, as outlined by traditional societal concepts of gender, definitely deserves to be labeled a “shortcoming,” but do you think MtF crossdressing, which is not a disease, not a crime, and not a genuine problem*, qualifies as some kind of "shortcoming?"
:thinking:
*You may disagree with that assessment, but keep in mind that the author is a happy crossdresser... :battingeyelashes:
Whilst reading Persephone’s recent thread, I was struck by the word “shortcoming.” It was implied (not by Persephone, but by the laws of society) that being a transgendered individual is some kind of shortcoming. Since I’m a MtF crossdresser, associated with the “T” in GLBT (or LGBT, if you prefer) for convenience, I’m left to consider whether or not my crossdressing represents human shortcoming. Have I come up short in the panoply of life? Hmmm...
“Says who?” would be my first (and only) reply. It’s all about expectations, my friends, and those who either do not accept their predetermined gender roles, or play with the whole idea of gender for pleasure, come up short in the eyes of society. Who is society? Why, it’s the people next door, the people across the street, and the people who surround you, following in the footsteps of those who have gone before, never considering deviation as something WORTHY of consideration. Nope, you’re supposed to do certain things, act a certain way, and fulfill your requirements according to the precepts of conformity. In short (pardon the pun), you are not supposed to go beyond the boundaries that have been put in place for everyone else’s benefit. But, if you come up short with your “self,” how can THAT not be considered to be a shortcoming? I don’t get it...
It’s the same old story – I, the MtF crossdresser, am considered to be deficient, according to someone else’s standards, put forth from a foundation of gender correctness. Did I miss a meeting? I’m a male that wears women’s clothing, and I’m (apparently) not supposed to do that, but why is this a shortcoming, and not just a cute eccentricity, or a form of expression? Am I neglecting my “duty” by not being 100% masculine? Am I deviating from propriety TOO far, thus causing every normal person undue consternation? Is it my FAULT that I prefer to engage in the profession of being, and not do what everyone else is doing, i.e. filling up my time with what others feel amounts (or leads) to happiness? It seems to me that deviation from the norm is a valid, necessary human characteristic, and, since there are plenty of people (males) on Earth who will keep within bounds no matter what, why can’t we deviants be allowed to...ahem...deviate?
The implication is that we crossdressers, and all transgendered individuals, are defective, so we are beneath contempt or not worthy of lofty human compassion, but if you conform you will be rewarded. As far as I’m concerned, you have to expect variation in any system or populace, and we are living proof of that. Some of us like to dance to a different beat, or challenge societal mores, or experiment with our lives, perhaps as a form of questioning that is ongoing, if not essential. Why is this seen as a shortcoming, and not championed as a GOOD thing? Is it because I’m not equal to the “purpose,” namely the purpose that has been decided upon for the good of all concerned? From my point of view, I’m helping by exercising my rights and expanding my own parameters. In other words I’ve gone beyond my own human (and societal) shortcomings, turned away from expectation, and “crossed” the line, questioning EVERYTHING along the way...
And yet, to people who fail to understand these things, I am beset with shortcomings. Something essential is missing in me, and I cannot be taken seriously – I cannot affect the object I am supposed to affect, my resources are inadequate, and I am unsuitable on all levels. We poor MtF crossdressers are not even worth mentioning in the realm of alternative behavior, such is the contempt for males who do something completely un-manly. It is implied that my penchant for crossdressing is inadequate, but, by definition, adequate means “barely satisfactory.” I would much rather be extraordinary, and not “see” my crossdressing as some kind of epic FAIL – it does not mar my appearance or character, rather it allows my true character to emerge. Not to engage in such an activity would definitely equate with shortcoming, but try to tell that to a “normal” person who either cannot, or will not, understand such profound, natural things...
I suppose I am an incomplete person, just like everyone else, but “complete” is a term open to conjecture, defined by what you believe or what you aspire to be. Crossdressing makes me feel complete, and, if I wasn’t able to dress and let my precious ”self” emerge, I would feel like I was living a woefully inadequate life, barely satisfactory but bereft of pleasure and happiness. I am in no way defective; in fact I have gone BEYOND expectation, to a world where the possibilities never seem to end. In my mind, MtF crossdressing continues to fulfill my needs, expectations, and requirements, and I am satisfied, but to others (the outsiders), I am a living, breathing, human shortcoming. I am impossible to understand, for everyone has already said NO to what I do, in fact the world wishes I didn’t exist. I can’t stop; indeed “stopping” is out of the question for people like me. I answered the “call” to be truly different, even though it meant turning away from a life that was predictable, adequate, barely satisfactory, and...yes...uninteresting. Rather than come up short, I have flown beyond the boundaries that were meant to constrain me. Each day I try to be all I can BE – how can this possibly be a shortcoming?
It seems to me that staying within bounds, as outlined by traditional societal concepts of gender, definitely deserves to be labeled a “shortcoming,” but do you think MtF crossdressing, which is not a disease, not a crime, and not a genuine problem*, qualifies as some kind of "shortcoming?"
:thinking:
*You may disagree with that assessment, but keep in mind that the author is a happy crossdresser... :battingeyelashes: