Utopia

[Nigella]

There is a place where you can go, be who you want to be, no judgement, no-one to tell you how wrong this all is. Infact all you ever wanted in your life of crossdressing ...








... one draw back, it is only open to crossdressers, if you want it, it is yours for the taking, except you must do it alone. Your SO's can't join you.

Would you go or would you not, what would your reasoning be, those with an unaccepting SO, DADT or even has no idea, would you go. Would those who have an accepting SO, but no-one else knows, leave, pack your bags and travel to this utopia?

[franlee]

No, I couldn't even consider it if leaving my wife was a part of the deal. But if it was where you could go and come as you please and only be without my wife while I was there than that would be Utopia!

[Alexisninsar]

No,I wouldn't leave my wife behind. She has helped me out a lot.

[suzy1]

I have my own house and live alone so it’s my utopia Nigella.

Not everyone would be happy living alone but I am a born loner. I love people, love being with family and friends but then I get to go home to my utopia. It’s called ‘Suzy land’

That’s why I am always grinning in my pictures.

SUZY

[Jackiefl]

I found heaven when i married my wife, in my opinion it doesn't get any better. I would have to decline the invite.

[kimdl93]

Nope. While this is a big part of my life, its not my sole purpose for existence. I have a wife, children, an extended family, friends and business associates. My So and a few others know about my dressing and some don't but they are all important to me, and I hope vice versa. Besides, I have lots of interests I continue to pursue, both professionally and otherwise. I wouldn't for a moment consider leaving all of this behind.

[Karren H]

Not enough information..... The bigger question for me would be..... do they have an ice rink and a hockey league? :D

[Debra Russell]

Not even ....... I need to be around normal people:devil:.........................Debra

[Nigella]

Not enough information..... The bigger question for me would be..... do they have an ice rink and a hockey league? :D

will let you build your own :)

[BRANDYJ]

Not a chance I'd go. My SO is my partner in all I do. To not allow her to go would make it anything but utopia to me. It also would raise questions about what goes on there. Hanky panky comes to mind. I don't cheat on my SO, but still would not go any place where she might wonder what I was up to. She trusts me 100% and I'd like to keep it that way. Besides, I enjoy her doing things with me. I'd hate to tell her she can't go.

[Lynn Marie]

Utopia, my apartment. All mine, go away people, find your own Utopia!

[krissy]

I dream of one but i cant leave my wife of 34 years i love her even though she cant stand this part of me

[Pexetta]

I wouldn't go. I want the real world to change, so I can express myself in it in the way I want to. It's a small request surely!

[Beverley Sims]

Nigella,
Some of us are fortunate that we have accepting SO's.
When I was a lot younger with no ties it seems that I could throw it all away and start a new life.
Now days I put up with the utopia I live in.
That is usually travel around US,UK and Europe.

[reb.femme]

Your SO's can't join you.

My bag was packed until I got to this point. Damn, looks like I'll have to wave goodbye to you all at the train station. :daydreaming:

Upside is, I've got my gorgeous other half, so bye, missing you already etc etc. :heehee:

Rebecca x

[Marcia Blue]

I could not go, and live my wonderful wife. Utopia, has a restriction, that prevents it from truly being, "Utopia"

[heatherdress]

Nope. There are some things in life a lot more important than the clothes I wear. I do not think most could leave their loved ones for any Utopia.

[BRANDYJ]

Any place that would not have any GG's allowed would not be anything close to a Utopia. Especially the lady I love. Sounds more like a prison to me. And don't ever want to go to a prison. lol

[Michelle (Oz)]

Another no. Apart from my wife's abhorrence to even the thought of my dressing, I love her dearly and the extended family and grandchildren.

I create my own somewhat lonely CD Utopia in the larger cities.

[Kaz]

A vacation would be cool. One way ticket? Who'd want a world full of just us? Ice rink and hockey included. I would throw in guitars and bands but I know we could get a good band together... but the audience? No... I want a world of diversity... except I'd like to get rid of the CD haters :daydreaming: Now that might just be my Utopia... where we can just be open and accepted, but the rest stays the same?

[Kate Simmons]

What if you wanted to leave Utopia? I'm guessing it's like the Hotel California. If that is the case, no thanks. :)

[Beverley Sims]

Nigella, It is a great thread, but.
I am heartened by all toe responders that have a good relationship with their SO's.
I would have worded it.
"If you had no other ties what would you think of a Utopia where cross dressers were accepted as a norm."
Yep then I would go. :)

[Kaz]

Nigella, It is a great thread, but.
I am heartened by all toe responders that have a good relationship with their SO's.
I would have worded it.
"If you had no other ties what would you think of a Utopia where cross dressers were accepted as a norm."
Yep then I would go. :)

Nigella's premise was that it was ONLY open to crossdressers... not that this was a world where they were a norm... A norm implies a majority with variation... so we would have sub-groups on forums preaching radical things like "I like just dressing as a guy and... like... wearing guys' clothes like in the old days before Utopia"... it could get worse... "you know, I think there is another world outside this Utopia, where people can express their gender without having to be vexed about having to be both "I am a Man... I want to be Man --- and equally I want to be Woman... nothing more, nothing less"... The trouble is we would die out.. unless we could reconcile guys dressing as girls with girls dressing as guys and make sure we procreate?

[Diane Smith]

There's no SO in my life, so that's not the issue, but I have lots of ties to my home, job and community and would have to think very hard about uprooting it all just to find more acceptance of this part of me. I've rarely had any truly bad experiences -- just a few mildly uncomfortable ones -- as a consequence of my dressing anyway, so how much better would it really be?

- Diane

[Silmaril]

I had willingly placed my CD'ing in hibernation for the past 6 years so I could build a life with the love of my life who I knew would never be able to accept it. Sometimes sacrifice is called for, and some things are worth it. Now she has decided she wants to move on, so I am on the verge of being exiled to Utopia ...and I'd give anything to make that not be the case. Crossdressing is the lover I would sacrifice "in a heartbeat" if I could have what is truly worth living for. But you play the hand you're dealt.

[AllieSF]

Nope, I almost live in Utopia and I am not out to family, friends or anyone that knew before in male mode. But that doesn't matter to me. I have no fear of going out and doing most activities that I do in male mode. I do not see any upside for me in your defined Utopia. I really do not think that I would like to live in any type of Utopia. This weird and ever changing world is a lot of fun even with all the problems that everyone encounters.

[lingerieLiz]

There is no place where people don't judge. It is in our nature.

[Connie Williams]

Thanks for the offer but no thank you. My family means everything to me. I have been so blessed in my life to have such wonderful people around me and I have shared so many fantastic adventures with them, I would never chose to leave them behind.

[Eryn]

Nope, I'll keep my present situation. My wife and family are far more important to me than dressing and the fact is that I don't have to make an either-or decision. I've never been judged or told "how wrong this all is," at least not to my face. I go out fairly often and enjoy the freedom to dress and enjoy the company of my wonderful wife and friends. That's about as close to Utopia as one could hope for in this life.

[Cheryl T]

I'm not traveling unless my SO travels. We've been together too long for me to journey without her and her love.

[suchacutie]

I have a wife who was a full partner in identifying Tina, a wife who wants to share in the adventure of finding out who Tina is and how she has affected our lives, and who thinks Tina is "sweet".

I have Utopia already, and a lifelong commitment to my spouse. Nothing can pull me away from that.

[Karren H]

will let you build your own :)

Perfect! Sign me up..... My wife hates to go to the ice rink and watch me play....

[Wildaboutheels]

The world ["society"] today isn't nearly so bad as most CDers think it is. It's all about 2 things really. Perception AND attitude. I firmly belieive most CDers are there own worst enemy. People who are not sharp enough to realize that "clothes don't make the man" [or woman] are really not worth fretting over IMO. HOW the person treats you is the only thing that should matter.

So, no reason or desire for me to leave our current world.

[BRANDYJ]

After reading all the posts it's a fair conclusion that this so called Utopia will be a ghost town and no one showing up. That is except Karen to build her hockey rink. Of course there won't be enough people there to form a team! lol
Now if this Utopia allowed our beloved GG's to go with us, it has a fighting chance.

[Amy Fakley]

After reading all the posts it's a fair conclusion that this so called Utopia will be a ghost town and no one showing up.

Yeah. I dunno about that! I've been watching this thread out of the corner of my eye. I presumed it was a somewhat veiled reference to this site.
Sure a few people's SO's join up ... but not that many. The majority of us trek off to virtual utopia pretty much alone ... like ... 4 or 5 times a day (at least)! :-)

[BRANDYJ]

Yeah. I dunno about that! I've been watching this thread out of the corner of my eye. I presumed it was a somewhat veiled reference to this site.
Sure a few people's SO's join up ... but not that many. The majority of us trek off to virtual utopia pretty much alone ... like ... 4 or 5 times a day (at least)! :-)

Mfakey, I don't know how you came to the idea that this Utopia was a veiled reference to this site. Clearly, we have many GG's here and are highly regarded by most of us. You might be right about most trek off by themselves, but many of us, including a good number that responded to this thread have loving GG's in their lives. My reasoning came from the fact that almost all said they would not go. Where are those that you speak of that trek off by themselves? They did not voice an opinion here...why? I am not going back to look, but out of 35 posts, I don't recall any saying they are packing up and leaving for this Utopia.

[Beverley Sims]

Nigella's premise was that it was ONLY open to crossdressers... not that this was a world where they were a norm... A norm implies a majority with variation... so we would have sub-groups on forums preaching radical things like "I like just dressing as a guy and... like... wearing guys' clothes like in the old days before Utopia"... it could get worse... "you know, I think there is another world outside this Utopia, where people can express their gender without having to be vexed about having to be both "I am a Man... I want to be Man --- and equally I want to be Woman... nothing more, nothing less"... The trouble is we would die out.. unless we could reconcile guys dressing as girls with girls dressing as guys and make sure we procreate?

Kaz, I think this is what we have now.
Maybe we are all thinking too hard.
This procreate thing sounds like fun. :)

[Nigella]

This thread was not a veiled reference to anywhere. I was trying to understand the depth to which members would go to pursue their crossdressing. It is quite clear, even from this small sample, that leaving a SO to pursue a life as a crossdresser is a definite NO NO. Of course it is not scientific, but it does hearten me to know that whilst this side of us is a major part of our lives, either with or without support, there is a much stronger bond with our SOs.

So lets open Utopia to our SOs, we can go there, take our SOs with us, but it is still closed to everyone else. Would you now take a trip to the land of Utopia. Again, lets have your reasons, would you be able to leave and spend the rest of your life with your SO in a Utopia.

Finally, what would it take for you to accept an invitation?

[Amy Fakley]

They did not voice an opinion here...why? I am not going back to look, but out of 35 posts, I don't recall any saying they are packing up and leaving for this Utopia.

aah, because I guess I read the original OP from the perspective of this "you are basically describing this website in 'meatspace'" so to speak.
I also didn't read the OP as a "one-way trip" sort of thing.

Yeah, there's lots of GGs here and lots of them are SOs. That wasn't my point ... I guess what I'm saying is that there are a whole lot of people who log into this site on their own. They don't bring their SO with them. That's all ... I wasn't casting aspersions, LOL. :)

Just making an observation ... that I took the OP to be a mirror image of what's happening here already, and I thought that was an interesting perspective to mention.
that's all! :-)

[BRANDYJ]

So lets open Utopia to our SOs, we can go there, take our SOs with us, but it is still closed to everyone else. Would you now take a trip to the land of Utopia. Again, lets have your reasons, would you be able to leave and spend the rest of your life with your SO in a Utopia.

Finally, what would it take for you to accept an invitation?

So now Nigella's Utopia sounds better. But there is still a huge road block to signing me up. That is the question of spending the rest of my life there with my SO. Again, I have to decline. What about my family and non CD friends and those that don't know about my CDing? I won't or can't go away and give up those other relationships anymore then survive or exist in a place where there were no GG's.

Now if I and my SO were free to come and go as we please, then sign me up. I'd love to visit. Or even live there so long as I can go visit family and friends.

OK, Karen gets her ice rink. I want a golf course, riding stables, salt and fresh water fishing and a nice beach for my SO. lol

[Thera Home]

Perfect! Sign me up..... My wife hates to go to the ice rink and watch me play....

Ill go with you karren, Ill slap a puck around and crash into things.
Nigela,can I take my dog?:D


Thera

P.S. Psst....we'll need gear to bust out when we get bored.Dont say anthing to nigela

[franlee]

By openning Utopia to SO's it makes it a lot more inline with something I would take. I still have reservations about going with out a ticket back if I should want it. But there is no dought I/we would be on the first bus if it was open for a trial period befor making it permanent.

You know once you got there you would be seeing a lot of fomiliar faces and a lot of them would be people that you would least expect from everyday life. Suprise!, imagine seeing you here.

[April_Ligeia]

I still wouldn't go because I would miss my kids.

[RADER]

It sounds great at first; but as others have said, I go with my wife.
Now if there was a hotel let say that only allow Cross Dressers with
their SO's Than let me know about it. I am interested.
Rader

[Karren H]

After reading all the posts it's a fair conclusion that this so called Utopia will be a ghost town and no one showing up. That is except Karen to build her hockey rink. Of course there won't be enough people there to form a team! lol .

If you build it... they will come.... even non-crossdressing hockey players will flock to my ice hockey utopia!

[BRANDYJ]

If you build it... they will come.... even non-crossdressing hockey players will flock to my ice hockey utopia!

NO NO NO Karen. The rules said crossdressers only! Now modified to include wives and SO's. So the security patrol at the gate will not let them in. You better hope a lot of CDers are into hockey! lol

[RADER]

NO NO NO Karen. The rules said crossdressers only! Now modified to include wives and SO's. So the security patrol at the gate will not let them in. You better hope a lot of CDers are into hockey! lol

The Gard at the gate will issue skirts and bra's to all who do not have, as the enter.
All skaters will wear a Tutu's and Tights. LOL
Rader

[Lorileah]

I am amazed that so many said no. OK not that those who said "no" said "no" but that hardly anyone has said yes ...except Karren who would have to make her own Stanley Cup. On average there are so many posts on this site that complain about how badly they are treated by the SO's in their life. So it comes to this. Many don't like they life they have but they would not change it for anything better.

The people who responded here I kind of know from here a long time and I am NOT surprised because they are the ones who keep telling the complainers that things can be good. Now I don't have a SO. But I would not go either because I am having a great time being me as it is. In retrospect i would not have gone either because my two women were special in that they didn't have an issue with the TGism. So, why leave? Wait, are there stores there???

[ReineD]

So lets open Utopia to our SOs, we can go there, take our SOs with us, but it is still closed to everyone else.

Ah, but sadly, few SO's would want to go, as much as I admire and respect those who do :), especially if it involved leaving everyone else in our lives behind. I for one would only want to join my SO in "utopia" if I could take everyone in my life with me and I dare say that my SO feels the same way.


I am amazed that so many said no. OK not that those who said "no" said "no" but that hardly anyone has said yes ...

I wasn't surprised. Granted there are many CDers who feel frustrated with wives who won't give an inch when it comes to the CDing and this situation is very sad, but for the most part I guess it is true that the majority of CDers are not TS. So why would they want to go there? And there are also plenty of members who have found balance, and their wives are accepting. Still, I think this is difficult to imagine perhaps for people who are squarely TSs, or the people who seriously question whether they are or not.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nigella, Will they have trains and stock car raceing there??