Shaving (and my wife's opinion of it)

[JamieG]

Earlier this year, I wrote about how I shaved my legs for the first time. Like an idiot :doh: , I did it unilaterally, i.e., I did not talk with my wife about it beforehand. It took her a couple weeks to notice, but when she did, it led to a big fight. A few weeks ago I scheduled a photoshoot, and I really, really, wanted to try a bikini shot. I knew it would be hideous if I didn't shave my whole body, but I dreaded discussing it with my wife. Finally, I "manned" up, and explained to her that I was thinking about shaving for my upcoming photoshoot. As soon as I got the words out, I braced myself for impact, but she took it calmly. "Shave what? Your chest?" I tentatively put forward, "My arms, my legs, everything." "Everything?" she asked. "Ummm, yeah. But it will grow back," I responded. Then surprise, surprise, she said "Okay, but warn me before I see it, and realize that it might be a turn off. But then again, I might be okay with it."

So I did it, had a great time with my photoshoot, and last weekend my lovely wife and I decided to give each other massages. As promised, I warned her before she could see my legs. She thanked me for the warning but we continued. Once again my world was rocked. It was not a turn off for her. I don't think I have carte blanche to shave whenever I want, but it's nice to know that with proper communication I have the option for certain occasions.

One more thing, I've gone out in public a few time with shorts on after shaving, and no one has said anything. No double-takes, no stares, no nothing. I don't even think anyone's even noticed. This is also a huge confidence boost. I just want to be able to do what I feel like when I want to do it; and I seem to be inching my way toward that goal.

[Ashley Allison]

Good to hear things are going well with your wife.

I've been shaving for a while now. Nobody really says anything about it either. Haven't had any negative comments, and I can't imagine going back to not shaving.

[RADER]

My wife is against me shaving my chest. I have a great amount of chest hair, although it is graying,
it is still rather thick. She says that it belongs to her, she loves to run her fingers through it.
So it stays, At night she is rubs my chest while I am wearing a baby doll nightie, and all is well.
Rader

[Wildaboutheels]

Good for you and glad it went well for you. I sure hope people "on the fence" about shaving will take notice of your second line.

"It took her a couple weeks to notice, ..."

I am guessing you LIVE with her and it took 2 weeks for HER to notice. Says something about whether friends or coworkers might notice or even care. I think aquantances are only likely to notice if someone has unusually hairy arms or legs to begin with. OR perhaps they are a fellow CDer?

[Darla]

I shaved my legs last year for a "race" and kept doing it, without my wife's okay. She only noticed about a week into it when my stubbly legs brushed hers in bed. Yuck was her reaction, then the judgement came down. I might do it again as the race is coming up again - but this time I'll tell her. Iylt's nice to see you get some acceptance though, and it must have been a thrill for the photoshoot. BYW the picas re great - saw them in Flickr in a random search. The ballet ones are particularly pretty.

[kimdl93]

You handled it very well, indeed. I do have to ask - has your wife seen your last photoshoot? If she has, I'm amazed that she could keep her hands off you!

[Bree Wagner]

Well done Jamie. Well done.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I spose there'll come a day when someone, somewhere will say something to me and i'll be like..."huh?" and then look down and go "oh yeah....that".

In other words, after having bare legs (and forearms often enough) for 7 yrs now, i forget that it still isn't the norm. Though i think it's close enough that the greater majority of society no longer notices.

Good for you with the relaxed attitude from the missus, here's to hoping for more of the same.

[Tracii G]

I guess just warn her first is the way to deal with it before a photo shoot.

[JamieG]

My wife is against me shaving my chest. I have a great amount of chest hair, although it is graying,
it is still rather thick. She says that it belongs to her, she loves to run her fingers through it.
So it stays, At night she is rubs my chest while I am wearing a baby doll nightie, and all is well.
Rader

That sounds like a good compromise to me.


Good for you and glad it went well for you. I sure hope people "on the fence" about shaving will take notice of your second line.

"It took her a couple weeks to notice, ..."

I am guessing you LIVE with her and it took 2 weeks for HER to notice. Says something about whether friends or coworkers might notice or even care. I think aquantances are only likely to notice if someone has unusually hairy arms or legs to begin with. OR perhaps they are a fellow CDer?

Yes, we do live together, although she was out of town for the first three days of me being shaved.


I shaved my legs last year for a "race" and kept doing it, without my wife's okay. She only noticed about a week into it when my stubbly legs brushed hers in bed. Yuck was her reaction, then the judgement came down. I might do it again as the race is coming up again - but this time I'll tell her. Iylt's nice to see you get some acceptance though, and it must have been a thrill for the photoshoot. BYW the picas re great - saw them in Flickr in a random search. The ballet ones are particularly pretty.

Yes, stubbly legs were the give away for me the first time too. Mine haven't gotten very stubbly yet, so its unclear how she'll feel when the do. Maybe she'll ask me to shave them again? :battingeyelashes:


You handled it very well, indeed. I do have to ask - has your wife seen your last photoshoot? If she has, I'm amazed that she could keep her hands off you!

Yes, she has seen them. I could tell she had mixed feelings about it. She said I looked pretty, and especially liked the ballet pics. She commented that in the Pussycat Doll look I looked nothing like my ordinary self. But was she excited by the pics? No. It's simply not a turn-on for her.

[steftoday]

I've been shaving my legs for about 6 or 7 years. Chest and underarms for years. Thinned the hair on my arms and thinned my eyebrows. No one has said a word. Not one. (My wife is fine with it, too.). People are too wrapped up in their own lives to notice.

[prettytoes]

My wife is against me shaving my chest. I have a great amount of chest hair, although it is graying,
it is still rather thick. She says that it belongs to her, she loves to run her fingers through it.
So it stays, At night she is rubs my chest while I am wearing a baby doll nightie, and all is well.
Rader

Wow! You took the words right out of my mouth!
I really do enjoy when she rubs my chest at night...also while wearing a nightie. Makes me feel at ease.
It also feels really good when she rubs her hand along my smooth legs!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jamie, Glad to hear that everything is working out .

My wife finaly got over it with my shaving.

[AnitaH]

I've been shaving my legs for a year now. My arms and chest for almost that long. It took my wife sometime to notice when I first started. She's fine with it but I never had much hair anyway. Nearly nothing on my chest either, not enough for her to run her fingers through. So it was never missed. I

I've worn shorts, changed in locker rooms my experience is like others, no-one has said anything.

AnitaH

[donna_tgirl]

Fortunately, I only have hair on my pubes and armpits. I started shaving in my late teens and eventually waxed a few years later. I find it lasts longer and I don't have to deal with the stubble which I absolutely detest.

My wife is not keen on my being totally smoothe, but lives with it. She knows I'm a little on the kinky side and just accepts this as part of me. I am totally in the closet with her as well as the rest of my family.

[Maria in heels]

I guess that I am one of the few lucky ones (even though I"d be luckier if I wore a smaller shoe size) I have very little facial or body hair so shaving is not really the "norm" for me. My wife even noticed that from early on, and it has been an easy "explain" because I would go for days without shaving...still can't grow a full mustache let alone a beard even if I tried

[Slip Affinity]

I've been shaving my chest, legs and armpits for many years. My wife is ok with it and nobody else has ever said anything about it.

[NicoleScott]

One more thing, I've gone out in public a few time with shorts on after shaving, and no one has said anything. No double-takes, no stares, no nothing. I don't even think anyone's even noticed.

I'm a winter-time full-body shaver, and let it grow back for shorts-wearing weather. Unfortunately, our winters are short. But I have worn shorts and short-sleeved shirts well before my hair came in fully, and nothing was said, so I assume nothing was noticed. I have a friend who has no visible leg hair. If he has any, it's very fine and light-colored. Nobody ever comments on it, asks if he shaves, or questions that he is all man. So I, too, quit worrying that others may notice that I shave.

[*ROXY*]

I shaved my legs last year... Wow! Felt AWSOME but decided to grow it back for family holiday. My chest is a nogo for my s/o but she's ok with colder months leg shave, roll on winter ;-)

[Rachel Rage]

Men are starting to pay more attention to their grooming, plenty of men remove body hair. I have shaved for years and recently my wife and I got an epilator. It is one of the most painfull things I have ever done but the results are worth it.

[RebeccaSmith]

Unfortunately I don't get to shave. I still see family too often that I haven't come out to. So I don't want the risk, maybe once I move away I can start with the shaving and/or electrolysis. My is still somewhat undecided, unless it means going to rocky horror lol. Then anything goes!

[Eryn]

Jamie, congratulations on following the optimal path!

Like you, I made the mistake of doing hair removal without explicitly telling my spouse about it. In my pink-foggy situation I didn't think that it was an issue that needed discussing. After all, she doesn't consult me about what she does with her body hair!

I was wrong. while she didn't get angry at me, she later explained that some women might have an inordinate attachment to their spouse's body hair. To them it's a symbol of their mate's masculinity and its removal makes them ask the question "how far is this going?"

We talked quite a bit about it. Understanding what it means to me, she's now OK with me continuing to remove hair from the neck down. She surprised me by suggesting that I might want to get laser on my beard and has continued to support me into electrolysis. Lack of body hair certainly hasn't hurt our intimate life!

One thing that I find amusing is that if you do a Google image search on "male supermodel" you'll have to scroll down quite a ways to find a single hair below the neck. I gave up my search after Page 10 as beefcake isn't really my thing. It seems that there are different standards for the men that women admire from afar and those that they want up close! :)

[Abbygirl]

Earlier this year, I wrote about how I shaved my legs for the first time. Like an idiot :doh: , I did it unilaterally, <SNIP>

At first reading I thought you had shaved only one leg- I thought, "wow, this really is an idiot". Hee hee hee just kiddin'. Glad everything turned out so well. We should all be so lucky!

[Sami]

I had an all over wax and my partner thought I was mad I have kept it up for years I love to be smooth and she is use to it now what's more no one even notices.

[PretzelGirl]

I think the best thing here is the communication. You talked it over with her and didn't surprise her and things may even work out better than you thought it might. I love it! Here is for continued success on the heels of continued communication!