Relationship difficulties - an alternative option?

[Sapphire]

From reading recurring threads and posts dealing with the subject of relationship difficulties that are for so many a feature of being transgendered, I feel that these difficulties are often glossed over as if it is only a matter of time before you will meet the right woman – when unfortunately one may never live long enough for that to happen. Could it be that in some cases, or at some stage in life, the right “woman” might be another TG?

[Kate Simmons]

For myself this has never been a problem as I care about others for who they are, gender notwithstanding. Many powerful feelings can and have been generated in that respect.:)

[silverfurret]

Honestly a Feminist woman/man would probably be ok with dating a transgendered person; as almost all feminists are against gender roles. Its not a guarentee but the women I've been with that are femenists where very accepting and more so than others.

[kimdl93]

I think there's enough diversity of experience to suggest that ther may be a right person, but the gender preferences of each individual will inevitably dictate. That being said, every human should be open for surprises.

I do have to wonder how many relationship problems stem from unresolved personal issues that either make it difficult to find or difficult to sustain a healthy relationship.

[AllieSF]

Oh Gosh! They may think that I am gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

[Babette]

Sapphire, consider replacing the word "woman" with person. Relationships are about being with people. If a relationship with another person brings someone happiness, then in my opinion, it should be considered a good thing and gender/gender expression shouldn't make any difference.

Babette

[Sapphire]

Sapphire, consider replacing the word "woman" with person. Relationships are about being with people. If a relationship with another person brings someone happiness, then in my opinion, it should be considered a good thing and gender/gender expression shouldn't make any difference.

Babette

Hi Babette, I take your point. The reason I used “woman” in this instance was to focus here on those of us who are experiencing difficulties with relationships and who are by their nature more attracted to aspects of femaleness than maleness.

[April_Ligeia]

I am currently in a relationship with a gg, but you make a valid point. Who knows what the future holds - I was married before, and it didn't last. I agree that open-mindedness is far better than loneliness.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sapphire, I met the right woman over 48yrs. ago but she still don't understand it's DADT.

[linda allen]

If you see yourself as "transgendered", you will probably have a difficult time finding someone to have a serious relationship or marriage with because most people expect others to be one gender or the other, not somewhere in between. A woman wants a man, a man wants a woman. Even gay people are usually looking for someone like themselves.

If you identify as transgendered then yes, you may need to find another transgendered person for a serious relationship.

[Marie-Elise]

Honestly a Feminist woman/man would probably be ok with dating a transgendered person; as almost all feminists are against gender roles. Its not a guarentee but the women I've been with that are femenists where very accepting and more so than others.

I pretty much agree but I will say that my wife, a feminist PhD who wanted to raise our child in a gender neutral environment, has told me she wishes I didn't have to dress. Before I outed myself to her, she was against gender roles and I heard a lot about it. However, since telling her and actually dressing around her after her consent, once in a while, when I tell her I am going to dress, she will ask me not to because she wants to be with "her guy". It's all good. It's better than having to hide it.

[melissakozak]

Being married to anyone trans is simply not easy for the partner, period. Even in loving, open, sharing relationships, our partners chose us predominantly for the person we presented as when we first met, and for most of us, I do believe that might be boy mode drab, no? So, it comes as no surprise that our partners have a preference for us as males.

Making this aspect of our lives fit into a marriage, work, kids, etc. is not easy. It takes communication, compromise and honesty. But are not these the same ingredients for a healthy partnership even if one of them is not T?

Being trans has the capacity to either completely destroy a relationship or enhance it, depending on how everyone involved feels and whether or not everyone's needs are being met. I do happen to agree, however, that relationships where both partners are transgender are probably a little easier to manage just due to the simple fact both partners get 'it' if you know what I mean. A non trans partner has a harder time understanding our psyche.

[Gena Gurl]

I for my self have always felt that I could find a woman that would not only except my feminine side, but actualy enjoy it. A fantacy for almost all of us, what are the odds, right! Well after a divorce and putting my fem self on the shelf for 5-6 years I found her or she found me. It took along time, I'm in my 60's and she''s in her 40's. We get along real good and she actualy loves to go shopping, doing my make-up and helping me be the best woman I can be. In all my years of crossdressing I have never looked as good as I look when she helps me. I am amazed at the tranformation and can't believe it's me I am looking at. All this said I can tell you that she also likes my male side when not dressed and I do keep those two things separate and I think she likes that. So, in conclussion I believe that there are women out there that would like a relationship with a CD, but it is a tiny minority of women. Good luck on your seach and don't give up.

[linda allen]

Being married to anyone trans is simply not easy for the partner, period. .......
That brings up the age old question that is often asked of gay and lesbian people; Were you born that way, did society or environment cause you to become that way, or is it a concious choice that you made?

I would think that if you were born transgendered, you wouldn't have gotten married in the first place, at least without your potential spouse knowing and understanding your condition.

My wife occasionally expresses her concern that I will want to become a woman or a "he-she". I assure her that I won't. I do not see myself as transgendered, I see myself as a male who likes to dress up and pretend to be a female. Nothing more.

[BRANDYJ]

All my life I have wanted only women as a wife or partner. I have never had a problem finding women that accept me for the man I am. Note, I said "man" I am. I just happen to like dressing and acting female from time to time with no interest in ever living as a woman. I am in a long term relationship now. If that ever ended, I'd begin anew looking for another GG. For me, there is no other option.