Staying in

[Missy]

The more I dress in fem the more I want to stay in and not go out
Every time I have to go out I take off things and put male cloths on
Love things female and the more I do it the more I want to stay inside

I need to get out and see the world and be with friends

Am I the only one in this world that said I do not care what others think but deep down really care what others think of me?

[April_Ligeia]

This is a good point. I don't go out fully dressed because I know I wouldn't pass. I do wear makeup, nail polish and jewelry out when I feel like it, and it always puts me in a mental state of, "Go ahead and say something, see how that goes for you." I suppose this is proof that I do care, even though I say I don't.

[GinaD]

I have experienced just the opposite. The more I dress, the more of a desire I have to venture out.

[Tanyagurl]

I'm like you Missy....I like to stay in dressed all weekend...till I go to work on Monday as a "MAN"....it sure would be nice to be "HER" all the time......

[RileyEvans]

When I dress I'm just content to stay inside too eventhough, like you said, I need to get out and do something.

[linda allen]

I do find that when I get a chance to dress, I do that and stay home and inside when maybe I should be outside doing yard work or other activities.

I think it's important that if you are married or in a relationship that you don't let the dressing consume your time to the point where you are depriving your partner of outside activities.

[kimdl93]

its your choice. You do need to allow yourself to get out among people for your own health and well being. If you can't risk going out en femme, you'll just have to balance your time.

[Karren H]

Who cares what anyone thinks? We all do to some level.... but what's sad to me about your post is that it appears that your "hobby" is interfering with your life in such a way that its turning you into a recluse ..... cutting you off from the world... family and friends.... I've had that happen to me.... comments from my wife that I was "disinterested in my family" or becoming more distant helped me realize that I was heading down that path and I pulled myself back.....

Don't be that guy......

[GeminaRenee]

I find myself sometimes leaning in that direction - ready to turn down friends and real world experiences in order to practice my 'hobby.' But, I also know that no matter how good the idea of it feels, I do need to keep having those real world experiences. So I will often go against the urge and go out and do things en drab. I almost always am glad that I did. That said, sometimes I know it's better just to stay in and have a Kali night. The trick is learning to balance so that you get the most out of it.

Personally, this is one of my great frustrations with the closeted nature of the CD world. Options are so limited for those who would like to dress AND get out, at least around here. It would be great to be able to get out and have those real world experiences, while meeting like minded people - and not in a bar setting. C'est la vie, I guess!

[Leilani]

I find that if I am dressed and don't want to go out it is mainly a byproduct of it being a bit of a pain to get changed out of what I am wearing and into something different in order to go get drive thru or a quick item at the store. The biggest driving factor for me wanting to go out while dressed is not any reason of pushing an agenda of any sort (ie: spreading info on gender identity or challenging social norms and stereotypes) but rather convenience. If I either am wearing something or feeling like wearing something feminine but have to get changed into something more traditionally male, not only does that take some time but also leaves more clothes laying around (yes I could just fold them and put them away I know... I am far too lazy about that sort of thing hehe). I feel the same after having done a workout and laying around in a towel and then having to get dressed in anything to go out for a quick trip somewhere. However, due to my job and my wife knowing people from work that live around us who might see me, thereby putting her in an awkward situation, I cannot just pop out without changing first. Just my two cents. Hope I am not too off topic.

[outhiking]

I've tried venturing out into our backyard. There's plenty of trees and so it feels safe, but I feel like I've at least stepped out of the closet. Since I love the outdoors, I would pass up an opportunity to dress in order to go mountain biking. Maybe I've got the opposite problem?

It could be a dose of the "pink fog" and can be addressed with some underdressing and enjoying the anticipation that comes from waiting.

[GeminaRenee]

I've tried venturing out into our backyard. There's plenty of trees and so it feels safe, but I feel like I've at least stepped out of the closet. Since I love the outdoors, I would pass up an opportunity to dress in order to go mountain biking. Maybe I've got the opposite problem?

It could be a dose of the "pink fog" and can be addressed with some underdressing and enjoying the anticipation that comes from waiting.

This could sound weird, but I often enjoy hitting the trails on my bike after I've been practicing my makeup. It feels so free and wonderful, it makes perfect sense to me to fly about on my bike for a while with the feel of lipgloss on my lips and paint on my nails. Anyone I may encounter only sees me for a second or two as I whiz by, so the most that may conjure up might be a quick flash of "Did I just see...?" on their part.

I realize the mud on my cheek near the mascara on my eyelash may seem a little incongruous, and hardly girly - but what the hey - it's my life, and I'm gonna have some fun before it's over! (:

[Veronica27]

This thread and the accompanying comments illustrate one of the primary problems facing many crossdressers, but one that fails to receive much in the way of positive support because it is something we have to come to terms with by ourselves. We receive much in the way of "lip service" from everyone including other crossdressers, those who are transgendered and our spouses or others close to us.

Many crossdressers tell us either how content they are enjoying their closeted life or else implore us to just do it because it is all about confidence and not caring what others think. From the transgendered we hear about how this is an integral part of who they are and that we all have a right to be ourselves and must fight to achieve and protect that right. Not doing so is letting the entire community down. Then our spouses, regardless of how accepting they may be, provide a link between ourselves and the rest of the population. Through them we are kept aware of the sensitivities of others as well as their concerns about our safety. They do not want us to embarrass ourselves, our families or them. Nor do they want us to make others uncomfortabe.

Crossdressing for many is not about being a woman or feeling any confusion about being anything other than just a man. A man who likes the adventure of portraying society's image of womanhood, for any of numerous possible reasons, known and understood only by him. Some of those reasons may involve expressing that image somewhat openly. Remaining in our homes can begin to seem more like "trying things on" as opposed to "wearing" them. We wear clothing normally so we can go out and get on with our lives. We undress to bathe, be intimate, prepare for sleep, or just lounge around the house. The more our desire to crossdress involves the wearing of "dressy" feminine clothing rather than casual wear, the greater the need to "express" as opposed to just "have it on", and thus the greater the desire to go out. But it is only human nature to want to be respected by others. How do we reconcile that need with our crossdressing urges?

Being "dressy" defies the advice of those who urge us to just do it. We are advised to blend in and in this day and age that usually implies casual, almost masculine clothing. The messages we receive all seem to become contradictory and also clash with our desire to just live our life. For most of us our lives involve far more than crossdressing, and we don't want dressing to complicate our other activities. It then becomes a case of choosing which aspect we want to sacrifice; our crossdressing or our life. Too often we remain closeted dressers even though it does not satisfy our real desires. In other cases we plunge right in, convince ourselves that we are something more than a "mere" crossdresser because being transgendered provides its own explanation for this need to wear female clothing, even though in our case it may be a fallacy.

This is one of the least supported areas of crossdressing, but being such a personal matter, it is difficult to offer much real support. There is a ton of advice on how to get out right here on this forum, but very little about how to make that decision or more importantly how to alleviate any difficulties that may arise from making the wrong choices. We do indeed care what others think of us and more importantly we do not want to bring shame to our family.

Veronica

[~Joanne~]

I looked out the window this morning and saw a kid walking by wearing black tights with his ___insert sport___ uniform. It didn't look horrible at all and made me want to go outside right then and there. Unfortunately I didn't.

[wilt575]

The more I dress in fem the more I want to stay in and not go out
Every time I have to go out I take off things and put male cloths on
Love things female and the more I do it the more I want to stay inside

I need to get out and see the world and be with friends

Am I the only one in this world that said I do not care what others think but deep down really care what others think of me?
Sorry Missy
I guess I,m just the opposite of you the more I dress in fem the more I am out doing routine things, shopping, errands, movies etc. Do yard work, outside maintainence etc. in girly jeans,shorts and capris with fem tank, crop tops etc. I have sometimes sunned in string bikini swimsuit. Don't let "hobby" make you homebound prisoner.

[Love2Dress]

I don't think I would be ready to fully dress outside, sounds very daunting

[STACY B]

One good thing about staying in ,,,You can get real good at all things girl ,,An when ya do go ,,You will be at your very best ! Practice ,,,Practice,,, Practice,,, You will get great an fast .

[Angie Sweet]

Reading the responses to this post made me realize that this "hobby" is making me more and more homebound. So the choice is, cut back on dressing and get out more, or take that first step out of the door and see the world outside as Angie.
Not sure which way this will go.

[Cynthia Anne]

I too am just the opposite! I usually only dress complete when I'm going out!

[shayleetv]

The allure of going out and being seen is not there for me anymore. In other words been there, done that and don't need to do that anymore. And that suits me fine because one of the rules that my wife set down as a condition for Shaylee to exist is to not go outside the home while dressed. Probably the easiest rule for me to comply. There are other rules that I have pushed the envelope a little bit and that is......... well maybe I shouldn't confess to much for fear it might come back to bite me.