Serana
08-31-2012, 08:06 AM
So yeah... I've had quite an interesting month, and August is probably the biggest month ever for me, and will be for a while more.
So the 22nd of this month marked a year of my going full-time. And today, marks a whole year on hormones too! I'm surprised how it can be such a big thing, and how it can make someone feel. I'm surprised also that after such an amazing 'achievement' to celebrate about, I find myself in a more reflective, perhaps pensive mood today.
It's surprising how sobering an 'anniversary' can make someone, when you lay in bed for that extra hour or two and reflect on all of the events of the last year. It's amazing just how much everything for me has changed. For the sake of some of that good ol' 'support', I think I'll issue below a small 'rant' of sorts. (Less a rant though lol.)
Looking at the obvious changes, things like the physical change, I'm surprised how much I -have- changed in the last year, the breast growth and the waistline/hips have been the most obvious for me. I have changed from having nothing I liked about myself, to having lots that I liked about myself. My voice is so different, and the way I walk, is completely new. It's amazing how when I sit and think about this, just how my life feels so much easier, and better to cope with in comparison to the stress last August and September where for me, and the sadness of the months before them.
On the mentality, I feel only so much has changed, and in some ways, I find myself glad for this, on how I've kept those boyish traits I liked about me very much, and how I kept that stubborn-ness that I definitely get from my mother XD. I still have the masculine attitudes that I think can be helpful no matter who has them, male or female.
I think what this last year has taught me has been that, the worst time, and the hardest time where the first 6 months, learning to cope with being at uni, on my own and such and away from knowing anyone at all, and having to come to terms with that at first, I certainly would not pass. It reminds me of the famous time of my life among friends where I was sat at the front of a lecture hall facing hundreds I didn't know, and I was still very early in transition. XD Ah~, and that same lecturer was my tutor too. It was a funny moment, going from 'he' in that lecture hall to 'she' in the tutor the week after when I'd sent a message to him explaining. The time it happened was funny, I think~.
The 6 months after that? They were the easiest, I've been so different, having gained confidence, better looks, a better taste in the fashions I like (which is nice and plain for the most part~) and of course, for me, life wouldn't be complete without becoming very, very popular among people.
I've learned more to enjoy the finer things in life, and that, it doesn't matter who you are, trans, female, male, gay or straight, you'll always be a butt of someone's jokes. That's not to say one should learn to laugh at everything, but learning what to laugh at and when to appreciate that you're a joke because you're their friend, it teaches well how to understand being 'tactful'.
I'd say this last year has changed my life a lot, and I'm happy to say, I'm glad I took the steps to change it, with things looking good in most departments, and even possibly on the side of romance in the future, I have stuff to work towards, and more sweet times to enjoy in the next year that will maybe be the most hectic chapter of my life. The prologue was fun though~.
It's amazing how nice the world is when you've learned to appreciate the little things in it, and how to enjoy whatever life throws you.
On the other hand though, I know that this year brings harder work at University, and it also brings a lot of issues with battling my GIC and learning how to respect, whilst trying to bend the SoC that seems to be becoming the bible to a lot of people when it comes to TG/GQ etc health. I also know that money will be tight, and I won't be able to afford those fun things I enjoyed last year with my friends, like running around airsofting, or just in general hanging out and enjoying a few games of cards, or a drink down at our favourite pub.
One thing I think I've learned most from this last year is to accept patience, and to come to terms with it, and to understand that, things take time. You can make them sooner, but there's still the time it takes. All in all, I'm glad that I have a life I can be pretty much content with now, with a holiday to Europe to look forward to and hopefully soon a 'holiday' to Thailand six or so months later, I think I can finally say that I'm happy just being me, and coming to terms with all of my different 'issues' in life.
What would I say was the hardest issue for me in life? Accepting that I enjoyed some of my boyish traits, and learning to accept them as an integral part of myself.
Easiest? Well, ignorance is bliss, as my best friend says~!
And at the risk of spouting anymore about me, I'll leave it here. XD If you do read, I hope you find it an interesting little tale of someone's life~. Feel free to ask anything you'd like!
;D Much love to you all, and my bestest wishes for every one of you,
Seri-chan~
So the 22nd of this month marked a year of my going full-time. And today, marks a whole year on hormones too! I'm surprised how it can be such a big thing, and how it can make someone feel. I'm surprised also that after such an amazing 'achievement' to celebrate about, I find myself in a more reflective, perhaps pensive mood today.
It's surprising how sobering an 'anniversary' can make someone, when you lay in bed for that extra hour or two and reflect on all of the events of the last year. It's amazing just how much everything for me has changed. For the sake of some of that good ol' 'support', I think I'll issue below a small 'rant' of sorts. (Less a rant though lol.)
Looking at the obvious changes, things like the physical change, I'm surprised how much I -have- changed in the last year, the breast growth and the waistline/hips have been the most obvious for me. I have changed from having nothing I liked about myself, to having lots that I liked about myself. My voice is so different, and the way I walk, is completely new. It's amazing how when I sit and think about this, just how my life feels so much easier, and better to cope with in comparison to the stress last August and September where for me, and the sadness of the months before them.
On the mentality, I feel only so much has changed, and in some ways, I find myself glad for this, on how I've kept those boyish traits I liked about me very much, and how I kept that stubborn-ness that I definitely get from my mother XD. I still have the masculine attitudes that I think can be helpful no matter who has them, male or female.
I think what this last year has taught me has been that, the worst time, and the hardest time where the first 6 months, learning to cope with being at uni, on my own and such and away from knowing anyone at all, and having to come to terms with that at first, I certainly would not pass. It reminds me of the famous time of my life among friends where I was sat at the front of a lecture hall facing hundreds I didn't know, and I was still very early in transition. XD Ah~, and that same lecturer was my tutor too. It was a funny moment, going from 'he' in that lecture hall to 'she' in the tutor the week after when I'd sent a message to him explaining. The time it happened was funny, I think~.
The 6 months after that? They were the easiest, I've been so different, having gained confidence, better looks, a better taste in the fashions I like (which is nice and plain for the most part~) and of course, for me, life wouldn't be complete without becoming very, very popular among people.
I've learned more to enjoy the finer things in life, and that, it doesn't matter who you are, trans, female, male, gay or straight, you'll always be a butt of someone's jokes. That's not to say one should learn to laugh at everything, but learning what to laugh at and when to appreciate that you're a joke because you're their friend, it teaches well how to understand being 'tactful'.
I'd say this last year has changed my life a lot, and I'm happy to say, I'm glad I took the steps to change it, with things looking good in most departments, and even possibly on the side of romance in the future, I have stuff to work towards, and more sweet times to enjoy in the next year that will maybe be the most hectic chapter of my life. The prologue was fun though~.
It's amazing how nice the world is when you've learned to appreciate the little things in it, and how to enjoy whatever life throws you.
On the other hand though, I know that this year brings harder work at University, and it also brings a lot of issues with battling my GIC and learning how to respect, whilst trying to bend the SoC that seems to be becoming the bible to a lot of people when it comes to TG/GQ etc health. I also know that money will be tight, and I won't be able to afford those fun things I enjoyed last year with my friends, like running around airsofting, or just in general hanging out and enjoying a few games of cards, or a drink down at our favourite pub.
One thing I think I've learned most from this last year is to accept patience, and to come to terms with it, and to understand that, things take time. You can make them sooner, but there's still the time it takes. All in all, I'm glad that I have a life I can be pretty much content with now, with a holiday to Europe to look forward to and hopefully soon a 'holiday' to Thailand six or so months later, I think I can finally say that I'm happy just being me, and coming to terms with all of my different 'issues' in life.
What would I say was the hardest issue for me in life? Accepting that I enjoyed some of my boyish traits, and learning to accept them as an integral part of myself.
Easiest? Well, ignorance is bliss, as my best friend says~!
And at the risk of spouting anymore about me, I'll leave it here. XD If you do read, I hope you find it an interesting little tale of someone's life~. Feel free to ask anything you'd like!
;D Much love to you all, and my bestest wishes for every one of you,
Seri-chan~