I just need to vent this

[Andie Elisabeth]

Thursday I had an appointment with a therapist to get a second opinion, doctor who is a central figure in transition sent me to him. I don't know it's hard for me because one reason why the doctor sent me there was to talk things out. My feelings about it are not good. Right now I don't care how he evaluates me. Right now I feel like halting the whole process until I either get myself together or move somewhere else.

Past couple of weeks were full of an awful cycle where I accept my gender identity, challenge (I either feel as female or gender is not important) my gi and get angry about uncertainty if it is really worth it. When I tried to direct him there to help me with this issue he was not happy because I was not following his mental checklist. Probably the thing that pissed me most was when he asked me where I got information about gender identity. I answered honestly that most of it I know is from the internet and he reacted like the only source of information is about a book which he co-authored.

Before this appointment I felt that not dealing with gender identity issues for an year or two was not worth it. After I feel that it may be worth it because neither of them appear to help me to sort myself.

[sarahcsc]

Hi Andie,

Thank you for letting us know your story. I've just been browsing around the forum and came across your "virgin thread" (ie. one that has not been answered by anybody).

I'm a doctor myself and I see patients like you on a daily basis, who acquired their information from online sources. I can honestly say... patients like those, annoy the heck out of me.

But please!! Read on..

The reason why it annoys me, is the very fact that there is a struggle of power in terms of the patient-doctor relationship. Ideally, I wouldn't want my patients to be kept in the dark, but on the other hand, I wouldn't want them to question my every single move. But with the advent of the internet, this power struggle has become more and more prominent and it could serve as a major hindrance to therapy. Now, I'm not talking about things that are obviously straightforward ie. even an ignorant person would know he needs a blood transfusion if he/she has lost a ton of blood but you'd be surprised that there are internet articles out there which disputes such practice and actually advises people against seeking proper medical attention! As doctors, we don't have anymore information than you do especially when the internet is only a click away. But we do work in a system which provides very specific services which caters to your needs and we are the ones who has access to them. I intend to treat my patients with the information and resources I have and of course I accept the fact that patients want themselves to be treated with the optimal standard of care, but sometimes, information on the internet, although it maybe up-to-date and correct, you can't transform that information into something useful if you do not work with your doctor.

There is no point, hence, arguing with doctors around the information found on the internet because its a lose-lose situation.

Its never easy being in your position... but your position, is not unique, and is something that is encountered on a daily basis if you think about it properly.

Its a situation of being placed in a position of feeling helpless. You know you need to rely on doctors for something you want, yet you aren't sure you can trust these buncha white coats who keeps thinking you're an idiot! Its out of your control, like waiting an hour for the bus, or being stuck in traffic. :p

So try to relax okay? :) I trust things will improve for you.

[noeleena]

Hi.

Can i say expreance is worth more than one who is young & has not lived life as one get s older if one is willing to listen & go through things then maybe sometimes we are then able to see wisdom .

The internet is great it allso needs to be weighed in the balance because not every thing we see is right or the truth,

Allso haveing the right attitude will go along way .

Ill put it this way i was trained on the job by those who ...knew ... what they taught me took years . so can i just go & teach another in 5 min's whats taken me years to learn no of cause not .

Those you are seeing ,work with them listen to them at the end you may find that they may just help you, go at this like a bull at the gate you ,may find you do yourself a disservise in the longrun,

You may have a lot of info , just is it right for you.

Its like, iv been trained & some one comes on my job telling me what to do yet he has all the info & theory yet never worked on the job.........
Give your self a break step back take stock & then go with the flow,

...noeleena...

[Andie Elisabeth]

To clarify my position I didn't argue with the therapist. I asked him if he can help me sort things out which he admitted they can help but he still insisted on going through his checklist to determine whether I am TS or not. I have let him explain to me what are my options.

I came to them for help and now I feel like I am left alone on an island to figure myself on my own.