View Full Version : do you think my dad has figured it out?

11-20-2005, 08:36 PM
I recently came out to my mother about my issue of wanting to be a girl. She took it well; did not like it, but accepted it. But my dad still does not know and my mom said we should not tell because he would be too hurt by it.

I have always been doing fun things with my mom like grocery shopping, baking, cleaning, etc. I love doing the traditional "girly" stuff. I am worried that my dad may be getting an idea. My mom tells me that he questions whether or not I am gay because I like working in the kitchen.

Last week I was glancing at some nice blouses that were hanging on the door knob and my dad is like "you wouldn't look good in that." So now I'm kind of nervous because I wonder if he knows. Maybe he saw my collection in my closet? I doubt it because I have so much junk in my room he can't get through (physical disability) but I have my concerns.

Nothing was said when I naired myself but I am sure he noticed. The first few days after using it I only wore long sleeves but then I was like screw it and wore short sleeves. Conversely, I don't even own a pair of shorts. Just pants and skirts.

I feel as though I am a woman trapped in a male body. I should say that I am ok with it and that is is not causing me any problems other than the worries regarding social acceptance. But that is why I have kept it to myself (and other internet sites where people don't know who I really am :biggrin: ). I beleive that everyone has to be happy with who they are, and I graciously accept myself.

I do have to say I feel good about telling my mom because now it's like the cat's out of the bag and I don't need to hide as much any more. Well I guess I'm not looking for any advice. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and what they would do?

11-20-2005, 08:37 PM
I should add that he was eyeing my closet particularly today, which I had foolishly left the door open.

11-21-2005, 07:43 AM
Working is the kitchen is "Gay"? I thought being sexually attracted to other guys defined "Gay". Where did your old man get his sexual education? ;-)

no wonder you didn't tell him.

Jasmine Ellis
11-21-2005, 09:33 AM
Hi Kittymuffin what a lovely name darling. If your dad new wouldn't he come out and say so? I love wearing dresses, skirts, high heels and I'm not gay, I'm just a cross dresser love. I'm happy for you telling your mother I know I couldn't even think where to start to tell her. But do what your mum said and see what happens.

11-21-2005, 10:35 PM
Well my mom told me she had her suspicions but just didn't say anything. How it happened... let's see. I'm going to be 21 next month and never had a girlfriend (just feelings for one girl, long ago).

Whenever the issue comes up in a conversation (seems almost like it is prodded) I usually change the subject. Then one day my mom and I were going to the mall and she was saying (her usual drivel) about how I should find a nice girl, have kids, blah blah, and I cracked. I mean, enough already. I told her that I would not engage in a relationship because that would be admitting defeat. She asked what I meant and I said that it would be giving up all hope of ever being a woman! She was really disappointed. I'm actually laughing as I'm typing this. I won't be objectified as an accessory to her life; me having kids would be something that she wants. I'm not into that. I digress; I know I'm still young. And I'm probably making the situation out to be worse than it really is.

It's also depressing to realize that no matter what I do... clothes, hormones, surgery (thinking of getting my nose done!), etc., I can never be 100% woman. But alas, I won't give up. I have hope that someday I could have my body cloned, genetically-altered to be a female version of me, and get my brain transplanted into it. I have a female brain after all (or so I believe).

Well there's my rant. Hope you like it. On a positive note, I don't have to hide under the covers and pretend to be asleep when I am en femme, because my mom knows now. So she doesn't like it but she has to accept it. So now I can prance around my room in high heels without worry! :D

11-22-2005, 03:46 PM
In regards to your dad I'd have to say he at least has suspicions. Add to that married couples usually share a lot and if your mom isn't happy with who you are she probably needs to talk this out with someone. That doesn't mean she's told your dad but she may have dropped hints.

But what really matters is your attitude and from what I've read it's good. You won't enter into a relationship and you realize your mom's disappointment about that comes from what she wants and not what's best for you. That's good, you are well grouded and secure with yourself.

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself about what you'll look like if you fully transition. Being young is a big plus. And you never know how the HRT will effect you. What matters most is you KNOW, without any doubt, this is what you want to do. If it is you'll be far happier after transitioning than living your life as a male trying to make everyone around you happy.

It sounds like you're on the right path. All you need is the support of those who love you. You will get that when they are convinced this is your path to happiness.