eek! I'm lactating!

[Raquel June]

Things have been going pretty well since I've been back on HRT for several months. My development has not really been in the past month what it was in the first three, which is fine, but I figured since things were tapering off a little, I might as well try taking a week off of estrogen and progesterone (but keep taking T-blockers).

I've seen a couple doctors say that it's a good idea, not so much to try and mimic the menstrual cycle, but just to give your estrogen receptors a break and let your SHBG replenish, and there can't be anything wrong with giving my liver a break for a week (and OK, I kinda wanted to get drunk on the holiday weekend).

So I took the past week off, starting last Sunday.

I almost never remember my dreams for more than a couple minutes after I wake up. But not this week. Tuesday I had a really intense dream that I was stuck with my ex (a woman who was physically abusive and referred to me as a freak and a f*g in a dress, but for some reason I'm still kinda in love with her), and she upset me so much that I punched her in the face, but she was basically invincible and I couldn't get away from her.

Wednesday I had a really freaky dream where a rabid little 30 lb. dog was terrorizing me and I was out in the middle of the desert and he kept trying to bite me and kept getting stronger and I had to hold him down, kinda strangling him, and I was just trying to keep him from biting me but I could only really hold him down so long, so I kinda kept putting more weight on his neck because I didn't really have the strength left in my hands to hold him off, and eventually it was just a ball of fur and teeth that should've been dead, but it was still trying to bite me.

Thursday my boobs got really sore and swollen. When I woke up Friday I had literally gone from a big A-cup to a big B-cup. I went for a run and felt like I didn't even need a sports bra, though, because they were so firm and not jiggling at all.

Friday night I had a dream that wasn't nearly as terrifying, but it was still pretty weird. My best friend brought over a bunch of food and wanted to make dinner and he kept making playful sexual advances. I didn't wake up and spend half the day upset about it like the other two dreams, but it was still pretty weird and intense.

Saturday (yesterday) I don't remember anything particularly eventful, other than being drunk enough to watch Hot Shots.

So today I had a hangover and got up and got lunch, and came back and took a nap. My boobs are still really sore and swollen. I fell asleep for maybe 20 min, and woke up thinking, "Why am I wet?" and I look at the pillow I had kinda between my boobs, and there were two wet spots on it and my boobs both had little drips running out of them.

This isn't something I'm particularly thrilled about, but I wonder if it's a good thing. I mean, a lot of women permanently gain some breast size after breastfeeding. I just wonder if it would be better to try and release some of the pressure in there. Getting a breast pump and milking myself for no particular reason seems creepy. Although it might be a fun thing to leave in the fridge to make people ask questions and scare them.

I suppose the pressure will go down on its own since I'm going to start taking my E and progesterone again tonight. But if I'm going to leak all over the place, it seems like maybe I should do something about it.

[abby39]

From what I have been told by my Dr.'s it is not a good sign that you are lactating. Your prolactin may be out of whack. I would tell your Dr. PRONTO. Just to be safe!

[Raquel June]

If my estrogen levels were still high it could be a sign of a pituitary tumor. Because you're not supposed to lactate when your estrogen is high. But in this case it's because I went off estrogen and progesterone.

I actually just had a bunch of tests Friday. But I'm assuming this will stop in the next couple days since I'm back on E tonight. But I'll be sure and get it checked out of it doesn't stop.

[Traci Elizabeth]

That only happened to me once and that was between 3 -6 months of HRT. Never happened again. I enjoyed the moment and remember it well. I took it as a positive. But that's it.

[Raquel June]

That only happened to me once and that was between 3 -6 months of HRT. Never happened again. I enjoyed the moment and remember it well. I took it as a positive. But that's it.

Was there a lot of pressure? Were you leaking on things? Did you ... uhh ... do anything about it?

It is a beautiful thing. Makes more excited about hopefully adopting a baby someday. But it is a little weird. I mean, I know some people have a fetish for it, and that's definitely not me.

[Stephenie S]

A baby! OMG I want a baby!

Then reality hits and I remember I did that already. My kids are grown, I miss them, don't want to do that again. But if I was much younger? I think things would be different.

[Debglam]

I'm reading a pretty interesting book called "Breasts, A Natural and Unnatural History" by Florence Williams. I like this quote:

"Since a later dose of estrogen can make male breasts grow, and then a hit of prolactin can fire up milk-making, it would theoretically be possible to have fathers become full partners in lactation. They could take a milking pill."

What I also found interesting, if I understand it correctly, is that it is not the milk that comes and goes but the milk ducts (the plumbing).

[Traci Elizabeth]

Was there a lot of pressure? Were you leaking on things? Did you ... uhh ... do anything about it?

It is a beautiful thing. Makes more excited about hopefully adopting a baby someday. But it is a little weird. I mean, I know some people have a fetish for it, and that's definitely not me.

Actually, I was laying in bed playing with my nipples when it happened. A lot of very diluted milk colored liquid came out more watery than white. But it was oozing from several points on the end of my nipples. I stopped playing with them and put my top back on and they wet my top a little. Not much but enough to seep to the out side of my top.

Even though I enjoyed the experience, I am glad I don't have to deal with that as it could get embarrassing especially when I typically go bra-less when dressed casual.

[Pamela Kay]

My experience is a lot like Traci, was messing with them one morning before I got up and then noticed the sheet was wet before I got out of bed. Mine was a clear liquid and it didn't just leak but would come out freely with a little squeeze. I can still get some if I squeeze it out but it doesn't come out on it's own like your describing.

This started at about 5 months and I just completed 7 months on HRT.

[Mia-Ts]

you can purchase breast pads that fit into your bra if you're worried about leaks. Nursing mothers use them also.

[Raquel June]

Well, I started taking E and progesterone again and it stopped after two days. Now it's been three days, and they're still harder than before, but not painful if I accidentally put any pressure on when I'm sleeping.

[Melody Moore]

It also might mean you are taking too much oestrogen which can be dangerous. So see your endocrinologist.