our dress up day

[danielle1973]

Last week my wife and I set a date for me to get dressed up and that she would help and take some pics. The night came and the kids were asleep so I slipped out to the shed to change. I came back in and asked if she still wanted to do my makeup for me. I could tell from the looks I got that the reality of the transformation was a lot different to just seeing me as Danielle. Eventually it was decided that I should go out and finnish dressing up and when I came back in she would take some pics. When I came back in I asked her to do my hair for me and she froze up again but reluctantly she teased, combed and sprayed and went out to get the camera. I could really tell that she just wasn't into this and that this might just might not be a good night to dress up Danielle. Monni took about 35 pics and i have posted two of them in the picture forum. We talked about it today and I found out that the reallity of watching the transformation in progress was too much for her. So i thought I might cool it for a while to get some perspective. I love to be Danielle but since my lovely wife has become more accepting of Danielle, thanks to this wonderful site, i have found that she is taking over!!! An event iIdon't want to happen. I would love to get some feed back from you girls. thanks.

Danni

[Helana]

There are different degrees of acceptance. My girlfriend is also standoffish when I have done complete trannsformations. I always think wigs and make-up are difficult for many girls to accept because they do have a drastic effect on your looks. You no longer look like you (a man) in a dress but you look like a girl. It can be a shock to her system.

Also women do not want to get involve in something so intimate and feminine like doing hair and make-up. If your wife is one who does not want any intimate contact while you are dressed, chances are she will have a problem with wigs and make-up too. If possible discuss it with her to understand what she was feeling when this happened.

[Emma Brownings]

Hi Danielle,

Although it was many years ago, when I first told my wife about my femme side, she was fairly accepting and quickly offered to buy various items of clothing, shoes and makeup.

However when I bought my first wig, combined with the makeup, she burst into tears when I completed my transformation. As Helana said you don't look like a man in a dress anymore but someone completely different.

I am glad to say that eventually my wife accepted me completely and nowadays is even happy to accept me being dressed during our more imtimate moments.

Her acceptance came about when she realised that the real me was still there under the femme exterior. I didn't change my personality: I just needed to express another side of it. I have to say that I am happy in male mode as well as my femme mode and therefore my wife doesn't feel that she has lost her man; it is the same person emphasising a different aspect of their personality from time to time.

I hope this gives you some comfort.

[Jamie M]

Being taken over by your femme side is a very real possibility when visiting this site , once the bug gets you it's very difficult to let it go , i know , i'm probably as guilty of this as the next girl . But how to deal with this ? not by packing all your stuff away , no sirree .

I think many of us will have stories similar to your own when their SO's finally made "first contact" as i like to call it . Seeing pictures and buying clothes and things is definately a step in the right direction and can show an amazing level of acceptance but to actually be in 'her' presence can be totally off balancing for them , and for each woman the reason can be completely different as well.

From the sound of it though , you have grasped the fact of when not to push it , so to be honest i think you know yourself how best to approach these moments , take it easy for a while . Reassure her that you're not upset with the fact she found it more diffiucult than she first thought and remind her how special she is to have even tried to do this for you . It does get easier in time and next time you're together like that she may be more prepared for how it makes her feel.

take care and hugs

[RachelDenise]

I agree with your plan to slow it down a bit. Give your wife some room away from Danielle and be very understanding. You've gotten this far so don't lose the ground Danielle has claimed. Be patient and kind. get her a gift or take her out fro an evening without Danielle.

[TGMarla]

For many, the girl in us really takes off when opportunity knocks. I can be easy to get lost in her, be her all the time. But unless you are truly transexual, or somehow otherwise willing to transition to a full-timer, one must keep a balance between the two. I am not supporting the idea of multiple personalities here, only that as a married man, or at least one who is committed to one woman, we must remember that it is the man in you that she originally bargained for. Introducing a woman to the mix can really throw them off. Never mind that that femme personna was already there when you met, only hidden. She still did not go into the relationship to have commitments to a woman. There is an old saying concerning "moderation in all things." I believe it was Ben Franklin, who had his own excesses. But it is a point well taken. Strike a balance, and maintain that balance. Everybody will be better off for it.

[Jennifer in CO]

similar response here.

I have always crossdressed, done hormones, and we have even gone out many times as 2 girlfriends (while I was doing 'mones) but it wasn't until 14 years ago that I pushed her button. I had had abdominal surgery that made my stomach muscles relax to the point I looked about 6 months pregnant. The girls were gone to the GP's for a long weekend and we were cleaning out a closet that had a lot of maternity clothes/etc (she is not one to throw things out or give away to quickly). I happend to be standing there when she pulled out something my mom had sent her...closer to my size not hers...and she joked that since I looked preg I should wear it. So I did...and it fit almost perfectly. We continued cleaning then went out for supper...me still dressed in the preggy outfit. Since I looked pregnant, and only a woman can be pregnant, no one questioned my height and totally accepted me as a woman. Long story short, she was very cool to me that evening and over the next few days and finially said that before that weekend she always saw me as "me" even in womans clothes. But as a pregnant woman, she saw me as a woman and not "me"...it bothered her greatly (and I think still does)

Jenn

[DonnaT]

My wife has seen me in makeup more than a few times, but never watched me apply it. In Vegas earlier this year we were both in the hotel room in front of the long mirror and double sinks applying our makeup at the same time. My wife finished first, of course, but had a hard time dealing with my transformation, so she left the room and waited on me in the car. I guess somethings are just harder to watch/see than others.