It finally happened

[susancheerleader]

I knew this day would come, living in a small town where rumors and stories are the norm.
After several years of my being in the closest, and dressing alone at home (but my neighbors have seen me. Which itself probably added fuel to any rumors) the inevitable has happened.
One of my sisters came to my house asking "Are you gay?"

"Why would you ask me that?" I say.
"Because I know you dress in women's clothes."
I ask "How do you know?"
She replies, "I've heard rumors about it and people have seen you. So, are you gay?"
I try my best to convince her I am not gay. I tell her "Clothes do not make a girl, a girl. Or a boy, a boy"
She asked "Why would you wear a dress?"
The only answer I had "Because I like it."

We went back and forth for a few minutes, but in the end. I showed her some of my women's clothing, and she only said. "I better not see you in public wearing any of this."

[Jeanna]

Wow, that must have been a rush.

[Leah Lynn]

Ah, the loving family. I think most of mine would stone me if they found out.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Well firstly, good for you for keeping your cool and staying true to yourself. Honesty is always the best policy.

Continue to hold your head high, give her time to cool down and perhaps at a later date you can suggest she go online and do some research, you might want to have some resources ready.

Just curious tho, this all sounds pretty intense, is she that uptight of a person?

[susancheerleader]

Just curious tho, this all sounds pretty intense, is she that uptight of a person?

Of all my family, she is the most open about "sexuality" of all. Her reaction to me into itself wasn't unexpected. It was better her, then my other sister or mother. She can now calm both of them down. She is very diplomatic and open minded.

However, a question. Has anyone ever asked a GG wearing mens clothing, if she is a lesbian?

[Jilmac]

Sometimes family members can be the most unforgiving.

[AllieSF]

A very delicate situation handled very well. I hope everything will work out for you going into the future, and it will have its ripple effects. Now, in answer your question, no I really do not know what people ask FtM crossdressers, Though I think in general they do not ask that to FtM's as much as MtF's. It doesn't bother me either way, because when someone asks me that question, I just say "No" and wait for this reactions or further questions. No big deal really.

[RADER]

I was waiting for her to take you over her knee.
I hope the rumors die down soon, neighbors can be a pest sometimes.
Rader

[STACY B]

Gotta do something to counter this ,,, Hummmmmmmmm thinking ,,,Thinking ,,,, Got it ,,,Got it ,,,, Tell them you think your Pregnant . They will forget all about your strange dressing habits ? Well what do ya exspect ? Its me STACY B ...

[Brenda456]

The joys of living in a small town. . .

[larry]

I knew this day would come, living in a small town where rumors and stories are the norm.
After several years of my being in the closest, and dressing alone at home (but my neighbors have seen me. Which itself probably added fuel to any rumors) the inevitable has happened.
One of my sisters came to my house asking "Are you gay?"

"Why would you ask me that?" I say.
"Because I know you dress in women's clothes."
I ask "How do you know?"
She replies, "I've heard rumors about it and people have seen you. So, are you gay?"
I try my best to convince her I am not gay. I tell her "Clothes do not make a girl, a girl. Or a boy, a boy"
She asked "Why would you wear a dress?"
The only answer I had "Because I like it."

We went back and forth for a few minutes, but in the end. I showed her some of my women's clothing, and she only said. "I better not see you in public wearing any of this."

I am still laughing at the last sentence. Seems pretty clear how she feels. hehehe

[heatherdress]

Is your sister embarrassed that she might be subject to gossip? That's quite different than simply disapproving of your attire. There's also not much you can do about it if that is part of the problem m- the small town.

[stacycoral]

Is your sister embarrassed that she might be subject to gossip? That's quite different than simply disapproving of your attire. There's also not much you can do about it if that is part of the problem m- the small town.


The joys of living in a small town. . .

yesus girls who live in a small town, i am waiting for the same thing, but i like my girly clothes, i t souneds like your sister is more worried about what people will think about her, than you, i know my SO was worried just because i dress at Halloween last year, us girls just don't fit into thatcookie cutter!!!! hope everything cool down, Hugs

[Cynthia Anne]

Quite interesting I must say! Since when did your sister gain the right to tell you how to dress!! Sorry, but I would tell her to mind her OWN buisness then you won't be minded MINE! Best regards!!!

[Mistybtm]

Quite interesting I must say! Since when did your sister gain the right to tell you how to dress!! Sorry, but I would tell her to mind her OWN business then you won't be minded MINE! Best regards!!!

I was looking for A way to put this also. what right does she have to tell you that ( "I better not see you in public wearing any of this.") I would have told her to Kiss my **s and get the (F) out of my house.
Maybe she is just jealous that your taste in clothes are better than hers

[prettytoes]

I've been to Maine several times (and I will be there again next month for moose season), and in most of the towns I was in everyone knew everyone. I could see how you can't hide much living in a town like that!

I'll be in Eustis hunting moose by day, and getting useless at night!

[Noel Chimes]

she only said. "I better not see you in public wearing any of this."Your response might have been, " well lets go shopping and pick out a couple of outfits you wouldn't mind seeing me in". Pass the smelling salts.

[Paula_56]

Honesty is always the best policy.

[NicoleScott]

"Sister, I'll be happy to have a discussion with you about crossdressing. But first, arm yourself with some facts, and don't just bring your prejudices to the discussion."

[~Joanne~]

However, a question. Has anyone ever asked a GG wearing mens clothing, if she is a lesbian?

Probably not because it's really hard in today's age to tell if they are men's or women's to begin with. Which is strange because if we go by that alone, some how women always know if they are women's or not.

For giggles I would love to find a GG wearing something that was clearly men's so I could say "Hi, I cross dress too" just to get a reaction lol or maybe even ask that question ;)

[Jordan]

Wow that stinks to bad she wasnt open to it for you

[Kristyn Hill]

in a small town she is certainly worried what everyone is saying and not you dressing. Now, I hope the hottest girl is attracted to you because of you understand her side and feelings and you land the town hottie. sweet justice.

[linda allen]

in a small town she is certainly worried what everyone is saying and not you dressing. .

I'm sure that's the worry.

[RachelRICD]

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your sister. I had a similar situation but it turned out completly opposite. My sister had been told by my late mother and she wanted to know more. We had a long conversation and I showed her some pictures (one of which she had seen) and she had no problem with it. I asked her if she wanted to meet with my en femme persona in a public lounge for a glass of wine and she accepted. We are now girlfriends and go everywhere together.

It dosen't sound like your confrontation is going that way. There is some good advice in the posts above. Take it slow and easy and maybe you can turn her around. If not, that's her loss. You have to be true to yourself.

Best of luck with the issue and let us all know how things progress.

[susancheerleader]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts about this.
I haven't had a chance to talk more with my sister. In fact I haven't talked or seen her at all since the encounter.

I have mixed thoughts about what happened. As someone pointed out, perhaps my sister if more afraid of someone giving her a hard time about my dressing. Or maybe she is completely embarrassed about me now that she has found out my "secret." Maybe she just doesn't want ME to get ridiculed for my choice to dress in women's clothes. I don't think I would personaly be riduculed (in person) but I do think my sister and family would have a lot of people asking them questions about me.
Someone PMed me about how I feel Maine would react to seeing a guy in a dress. Over all, I would say no one would give a care. Sure, behind closed doors out of ear range people might make a comment or laugh among themselves. I've witnessed that when a guy was spotted in my town wearing a skirt, in guy mode. No one said a thing to him, but laughed when he was out of hearing range. I almost bet this is what is happening with me and the small town rumor mill.....

[Annie D]

I'm not too sure that you want to be very confrontational but I would have probably asked, "what would you do if I did go out in public dressed?" Her response would clearly indicate exactly what her thoughts are. I don't care for vailed threats.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Susan, It sounds like your sister is trying to control your life.

[linda allen]

................ she only said. "I better not see you in public wearing any of this."

It's all in the tone of her voice. Did she seem angry? Or was it more like she was kidding?

I'm sure she would rather not suffer the embarassment of having a family member out around town dressed in womem's clothes, and she may be trying to protect you from that embarassment.

If you're walking around the neighborhood dressed, the cat is already out of the bag, so to speak. It's up to you; how far are you willing to take this in your small town? Your sister and family can't tell you how to dress, but do you want to risk losing them?

Again, it's up to you.

[kimdl93]

well, I guess you had the conversation. Now the question is whether or not she sees you in public wearing these things. What's she gonna do if she does?

[Jordan-NH]

I wonder if she would have been more open if you had said you were gay. Well hopefully a little time to process she will come to accept it a bit more.

[susancheerleader]

It's all in the tone of her voice. Did she seem angry? Or was it more like she was kidding?



She was adamantly angry. :(

[kimdl93]

She was adamantly angry. :(

You say "adamantly angry". Now that people have been noticing and talking about it - is she angry because of embarrassment or some fear of social stigma being attached to her, indirectly?

I think you should continue the dialogue with her and get to the root of her anger. Afterall, its you that bear whatever stigma or embarrassment might be involved, not her. So I think its fair to ask why this bothers her so much.

[Stephanie47]

If your sister said, "I better not see you in public wearing any of this!," she did not say "not to go out in public wearing any of this." She just does not want to see you en femme in public. Email her when you out en femme so she can stay home and not run into you at the store or post office.

[Joanna41]

Because i like it.....best answer there is to give. Hang in there! Now invite her over for a make over.

Joanna