Lunch with my wife.....

[DaphneGrey]

As some of you may know my wife is very supportive of my need to be Daphne always giving me the space I need but not wanting to participate.

You also may know that she is suffering from brain cancer. Having had recent surgery and a round of chemotherapy and radiation.

Well she surprised me today, after many years of support but not participation, she said today that on Wednesday after the boys go off to school, she would like to spend the day with me as Daphne.

We are going to have a casual lunch at home and then watch a movie! I was stunned and you could have knocked me over with a feather!

I am of course excited and even a little nervous. Tonight she even did my toes (after I did hers) and helped me pick out a wig and outfit for our lunch.

I don't know if having a potentially terminal illness has something to do with it or not. If it does to be honest I would rather have her healthy. Interestingly though this date will happen on the eve of her first post chemo/radiation mri. A day where we will potentially receive the worst/best news of our lives.

I just hope I meet her expectations and we have a nice lunch. I want her to be happy and have as much fun with this as she possibly can.

[steffie39]

Good luck on your wife's mri. She will be in my prayers. I'm also glad you two are having lunch and I hope that goes well too. :)

[Marcia Blue]

Have a great time with your Wife. My thoughts and prayers will be be with you both.

[NICOLETV]

Enjoy the lunch with your wife, and you and your wife are in my prayers also.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Wow, regardless of the why's and whatfor's, just accept it and enjoy it....both of you.

And by the by, after too damn many experiences with family, friends and cancer, both good and bad that was a very powerful op to read, Bless you both and best wishes.

[Kerigirl2009]

I will pray for your wife and your family. Make sure you give your wife a big hug too!!!

[LaLaChic]

Unfortunately dealing with our mortality helps us put things in perspective. We want to see our loved ones happy.

I'm not a religious person and I do not pray. But I will pray for your wife.

[Lorileah]

All the best for your wife and you on this journey. Having been through the brain cancer thing with my wife, you both deserve to enjoy life while possible. I hope that it will be another 30-40 years. You love the person, not the exterior. :hugs:

[Cynthia Anne]

Your story brought tears to my eyes! Treat her like the diamond she is! Make sure this ''lunch'' is more then she could even think of imagening! Yours truley With hugs!

[MissTee]

My, what a heart grabbing story. Enjoy your time together. You and your family are in our prayers.

[MarcyRex]

Unfortunately dealing with our mortality helps us put things in perspective. We want to see our loved ones happy.

This is when my wife came around. I hope the best for for her and you.

[Marleena]

Daphne I hope you get good news about your wife.:) Have a fun lunch date and have quality girl time!

[Cheryl T]

I pray for the best for you both....

Sometimes an illness can make people rethink what is truly important and let them ignore the insignificant. It would seem that your wife has done that and just wants to share EVERYTHING with the one she loves.
Make her happy and make her feel loved at all times...she's special.

[Jennifer N.]

Enjoy your lunch. Prayers for both of you.
Blessings,
Jennifer

[kittypw GG]

Daphne, my freind I hope your lunch is magical. Perhaps a new chapter in your marriage will begin.:love:

[BRANDYJ]

Let me wish you and your wife the very best. Our need to dress is miniscule compared to what you wife is facing, yet she loves you enough to give love back with a simple memorable lunch. I'm touched.

[Kelli Ca]

I will keep you both in prayer

[sonna]

i have a feeling your going to make that a wonderful day for her.

[ReineD]

Interestingly though this date will happen on the eve of her first post chemo/radiation mri. A day where we will potentially receive the worst/best news of our lives.

I just hope I meet her expectations and we have a nice lunch. I want her to be happy and have as much fun with this as she possibly can.

I know this will be fun for you, but if she has not wanted to participate before, do you think she suggested this because she wants to have fun? I'm wondering if she is feeling her mortality and if she is not being conciliatory. I don't know her or you, but I would dig a little deeper as to her motives. You don't want her to believe that you can think of nothing other than the CDing on the eve of potentially receiving bad news about her health.

But, if she did have a true change of heart and she now thinks the CDing is fun, then I hope that you both enjoy! :)

Also, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her prognosis. :hugs:

[Tracii G]

I do hope all goes well for both of you.On the lunch date and her MRI.

[linda allen]

Daphne, the important thing is your wife's health and I wish her the best. You said you would rather have her healthy and that's how I would feel about my wife. I would just let her guide you on the dressing for now and focus everything on her health and recovery. Dressing can come later.

[Nikki A.]

Wishing you the best and I hope that the news is good

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Daphne, It's hard to put into words the right thing to say lets just hope that all goes well.

Please do keep us advised on how your lunch date goes.

[DaphneGrey]

Thank you all so much for the prayers and well wishes! They mean a great deal to me and to her. Indeed she is an amazing woman. She told me today that she realized since all of this has happened that I haven't had the normal freedom to express myself. She want's to do this for me. The truth is I am not sure if I should do it. It would be the first time other than in passing she has seen me as Daphne. However when I say she is amazingly supportive. Today she helped me reorganize my closet, we went to lunch and did some shopping at the mall. She gets worn out so very quickly and she was sorry that I couldn't find an outfit before she was so tired we had to leave.

Renie brings up a very good point. my fear is that I am taking advantage of her in some way emotionally. She says no she wants to do something nice for me because I have given up so much to take care of her. I understand where she is coming from, I am just not sure if it is the right decision.

[Leah Lynn]

Well, I got here a little late, but I sure hope that lunch and movie exceed her expectations And I,too, shall add her to my prayers. I do pray it's good news.

Leah

[DaphneGrey]

All the best for your wife and you on this journey. Having been through the brain cancer thing with my wife, you both deserve to enjoy life while possible. I hope that it will be another 30-40 years. You love the person, not the exterior. :hugs:

Thank you so much Lorileah, this means a great deal to me. I wish I had the words to express what is in my head and heart right now.

[Marleena]

Daphne I don't think you should feel guilty, it sounds like unconditional love to me. Sending prayers for your wife, I hope everything turns out well.:)

[ReineD]

She told me today that she realized since all of this has happened that I haven't had the normal freedom to express myself. She want's to do this for me. The truth is I am not sure if I should do it.

...

Renie brings up a very good point. my fear is that I am taking advantage of her in some way emotionally. She says no she wants to do something nice for me because I have given up so much to take care of her. I understand where she is coming from, I am just not sure if it is the right decision.

Yes, you should absolutely do it! Earlier I had suggested that you dig a little deeper into her motives, you have, and now you know that she wants to do it for all the right reasons!

So both of you should have a great time and again, I'm sending all the positive thoughts I can muster your way for the results of the MRI. :hugs:

[Stephanie47]

Prayer are with you and your wife. Sometimes having a serious life crisis makes us all realize "Don't sweat the small stuff!"

[Queen]

I wish you and your wife the very best. Cancer is a scary thing. I watched and held my wife's hand through her breast cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

As for your decision to go out with her dressed or not, I don't have an answer for you. I understand your trepidation, I think in your shoes I would feel much the same way. Still, it may help her knowing she has gotten to do 'something' nice for you. In that way, making her feel better while bringing you two closer together. Either way you decide, I wish you the best news about your wife's MRI.

[ColleenCD]

Hi Daphne,

It saddens me to hear of your wife's health news, and hope to hear about a great outcome for her. From your post, she seems to want to connect with you without conditions that prevent active participation and involvement. While Daphne gets to make a new friend, make sure the absolute appreciation of your wife's selflessness is the theme of your time with her.

Prayers and best wishes,

Colleen

[Sally24]

........ my fear is that I am taking advantage of her in some way emotionally...... I am just not sure if it is the right decision.
I learned long ago that turning down gifts and favors from parents, wives, friends is a bad idea. They are adults and they want to do things for their friends/spouces. Let her do this for you, it will make her feel good.

[Maria in heels]

Daphne...I hope that your wife does well, it is the most important thing - as you said, you would much rather have her healthy than anything else. On the flip side, I'm sure that you are going to be nervous on Wednesday, and she is showing her true love and understanding to you and wants to share in your dual personality. This is a wonderful thing, and try to make the best of the day, having lunch, and just a good time with her. Don't forget to give her that special hug, and if you feel uncomfortable, take a deep breath, and just strut forward....

[Shelly Preston]

Daphine

My thoughts are with you both as we all hope for good news

Please give her a :hugs: from all of us

[kristinacd55]

I'm praying for your wife, and you should definitely do it and cherish this time with her! Have a great time :)

[Diversity]

WOW! Best wishes to you both for a wonderful time. You are one lucky CD'r to have such a wonderful wife. Best wishes,Di

[Beverley Sims]

I hope all goes well for you and it is with mixed feelings I hope it all turns out well for both of you. Above all make your wife happy.

[SherriePall]

What mixed emotions this turn of events must bring. I wish you and your wife the best of everything and I will keep you both in my prayers.

[DaphneGrey]

WOW! Best wishes to you both for a wonderful time. You are one lucky CD'r to have such a wonderful wife. Best wishes,Di

Thank you Di, I am a very lucky person indeed I am married to a wonderful woman. I would rather she wasn't suffering from brain cancer. I would gladly give up her acceptance for her health.


Having said that, Lunch was wonderful for both of us. We laughed and cried a little and came a little closer together. Turns out she likes me as Daphne and was very impressed with how I look and carry myself. She said "I can understand why so many people like you this way" I asked her to elaborate and she said "You present so well and natural that it is easy to forget you are man" She said that she appreciated the effort and hard work it must have taken to learn and re learn all the nuances Style, comportment, makeup, grooming etc... She said that in me being Daphne she can see the respect I have for her and the important women in my life.

They were the kindest most wonderful compliments I have ever heard from anyone. I could barely keep it together.

I would gladly give it up if she could be well again.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and positive thoughts and advice.

[BRANDYJ]

Daphne, what a beautiful story. Your wife is someone very special. Thanks for sharing such a heart felt moment with us. Your wife will be in my prayers. Well, she already has been. Take good care of her.

[linda allen]

Thank you Di, I am a very lucky person indeed I am married to a wonderful woman. I would rather she wasn't suffering from brain cancer. I would gladly give up her acceptance for her health.


Having said that, Lunch was wonderful for both of us. We laughed and cried a little and came a little closer together. Turns out she likes me as Daphne and was very impressed with how I look and carry myself. She said "I can understand why so many people like you this way" I asked her to elaborate and she said "You present so well and natural that it is easy to forget you are man" She said that she appreciated the effort and hard work it must have taken to learn and re learn all the nuances Style, comportment, makeup, grooming etc... She said that in me being Daphne she can see the respect I have for her and the important women in my life.

They were the kindest most wonderful compliments I have ever heard from anyone. I could barely keep it together.

I would gladly give it up if she could be well again.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and positive thoughts and advice.
I'm sure you already do this, but tell tell her (and show her) how much you love and appreciate her every day.