Increasing my confidence

[Katie83]

It is very rare i get the opportunity to go out dressed. I have an opportunity coming up very soon. It's about a year since my last time out. Last time i wore grey skinny jeans, pale pink sleeveless blouse and knee high boots with a 3 inch heel. I went out in my car, i drove to the shops where i planned to go for a walk around, but when i got there i couldn't make myself get out of the car and go in. After about 20 minutes i drove home.
I love my high heels, but i can't help wondering if it was wearing them that made me nervous?
This time i'm thinking about wearing black leggings, pink racer back top and back Ugg style boots. Is this likely to improve my confidence?
As much as i would like to go out in super feminine mode, high heels, skirt etc i feel that if i take it more steadily i will have greater success. Obviously i will be wearing a wig and make up.
I really want to succeed this time. Has anyone got any advice or tips please?
Katie

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie , That sounds like a great outfit but do you want to stand out or blend in.

[Katie83]

My aim is to blend. I'm trying to choose clothes that are suitable to our strange current weather. Shorts would probably be better but not really an option for me at the moment. Another option would be skinny flare jeans, vest top and trainers, but that feels a little to boyish?
Katie

[linda allen]

If you don't want to make a spectacle of yourself, dress like GGs do where and when you'll be out. In my area, very few GGs wear heels to go shopping. Flats or sandals would be more appropriate. Pink will call attention to you as well. Wear something muted. As for makeup, again, tone it down. Just enough to cover your beard and a little lipstick and eye makeup.

Go to the area in drab and observe. Then imitate.

[Roberta Marie]

Strangely enough I seem to have more confidence when I'm wearing heels. I don't know why.

Remember, you have just as much right to go shopping whether you're wearing guy clothes or girl clothes. You have just as much right to be there as anybody else. You are doing nothing wrong by choosing what clothes you want to wear.

Just keep your head up, shoulders back and boobs out, walk tall and proud. And don't forget to smile, and have fun.

[bridget thronton]

You have a very good look in you avatar pic I cannot imagine you have any problems going out - wear what feels comfortable to you and enjoy your outing

[Sara Jessica]

You are on to something Katie. Yes, it can be advantageous on a number of fronts in flats rather than heels. It could be as simple as not being quite so tall which helps one's confidence and blendability but I really enjoy being able to get around without a second thought to my footwear, being absolutely nimble on my feet. Whatever you decide to do, be sure to have fun!!! :)

[JenniferR771]

Sure...wear the boots with no heels--dress to blend--however, I think you should have some cute boots with heels in your car (in the boot if you are in UK). So you can, (if the mood is right) change to high heel boots after a few minutes excursion in the Ug boots.

[AndreaS]

Sure, whatever it takes to increase your confidence. Definitely wear something that won't make you very self-conscious and nervous. Maybe over time, after you've built up the necessary confidence, you can move up to wearing heels, skirts, etc while out and about.

I had two days last week to be able to dress and go out during the day. Even though I did dress in some low heels and a below the knee skirt, I tried to go to areas of town and places where that wouldn't stick out. I kind of went for a casual, business look like a typical secretary or office gal would be wearing during the week. Over the two days, my confidence increased significantly as I went to a movie, out for lunch, shopping at the mall, etc. I got a few second looks, but absolutely no one stopped and stared, pointed, or did anything out of the ordinary due to my being dressed enfemme. Bought some jewelry while at the mall and also bought some items while at a local lingerie outlet. Can't wait to get back out there enfemme once I get some more free time!

Have fun during your time out enfemme. I feel "confident" that you'll be going out more often and also dressing even more feminine after a few successful outings. Good luck!

[kimdl93]

Already got plenty of good advice. A word about confidence - that's something you gain from practice. Really, the first time out in a year will feel a little scary. Why not - its an unfamiliar experience. The best thing you can do is prepare to blend as suggested by others, and resolve to step out of your car, no matter how many butterflies are in your stomach. Resolve to take each step towards the mall or cafe despite whatever jitters you feel. And resolve to smile and make eye contact with anyone you meet, regardless of how much you really want to turn around and run away.

Each time you push your way through those emotions, you'll gain a little composure and feel a little more at ease.

And if nothing else helps, try to imagine that everyone else is naked.

[Jenniferathome]

Katie,

Wherever you go, first observe how women are dressed at the time of day and day of the week that you plan on going out. You will find substantial differences if on a Thursday after work or a Sat morning, for example. If you want to blend in as much as possible, then do as the women do.

Have fun

[Missy]

Been told many times by many people "You can do anything you put you mind to it." when you do it and afterwards treat yourself too something nice

[GrayGirl83]

There's something to be said for "easing into the pool", I think. Try the more boyish look and see how conspicuous/nervious you feel. Next time, girl it up a bit more and give it another shot. Repeat until you've got that right balance.

I identify with the "should I wear heels" thing... I'm 6'1" to begin with so I may as well be wearing stilts :) (but dammit, I LOVE my heels!)

[Erica2Sweet]

Hi Katie.

I've been in the same situation, sitting in my parked car and feeling overwhelming conflict as to whether or not to get out and let the world see me for fear of outright rejection or ridicule.

There are two things I can think of that would quickly boost one's confidence. One would be to tap a friend or your SO (if he or she is willing) give you an honest opinion as to whether or not your presentation will get you cheers or jeers, and who be willing to point out what you could do to improve your skills. Essentially this is someone whose opinion you trust that you would allow to critique you.

The other thing that I found that is a great confidence booster is to simply take the chance and get out of the car and see what happens for yourself. If you are successful in not drawing negative attention, and your time is spent enjoying your adventure, then that in itself will generate a lot of confidence in your presentation. This one requires more risk obviously, but when you're successful it feels really good internally.

Remember, the key to not drawing negative attention is often in the way you carry yourself. Chin up, as they say.

[jaanine]

me too extremely nervous.

[jaanine]

maybe take a sedative if we have one

[flic]

There's lots of good advice here, for me it's really important to wear something that i'm comfortable in which tends to be skinnies and a top or a knee length dress of some sort, that's just how i feel most comfortable. I think if you feel conspicuous in something then it'll be written all over your face. The most important thing of all though is to remember that you have just as much right to be out and about as anybody else, so hold your head high, make eye contact and enjoy yourself, you'll amaze yourself with just a small leap of faith. Good luck!

x Flic x

[Kaz]

Hi Katie,

I got some UGG style boots a couple of years ago because everyone was wearing them. I was going through a period of wanting to out more and like you I wanted to blend... Went out in them lots of times, daytime and night and got no stairs or second looks... wearing what the GGs are wearing is a good way to blend... :)

Sadly I got rid of them! They were very comfy though and a dream to wear!