What things some of us say, and how do you feel about it?

[BRANDYJ]

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way.
To be honest some, if not most words of endearment or used as a salutation, like these turn me off to where I don't even want to correspond with those that use them or comment on their post or thread. I would not like it even if a GG used this type of salutations if I correspond with them.
Do others feel this way? Or am I just over reacting? :eek:

[linda allen]

I think you may be over reacting.

If we talked like this in real life, we would certainly be thought of as gay, but on this forum, we assume the identity of our alter ego, in most cases, a female.

In real life I would never give you a :hugs:, but as Linda, I feel free to.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno. I find it kind of hilarious when some folks use the word "lippy" instead of lipstick. As if it's some kind of "in crowd" that says that and consider us a "muggle" if we don't. That won't stop me from corresponding with them, however, even if I think it's kind of silly.:)

[BRANDYJ]

I think you may be over reacting.

If we talked like this in real life, we would certainly be thought of as gay, but on this forum, we assume the identity of our alter ego, in most cases, a female.

In real life I would never give you a :hugs:, but as Linda, I feel free to.

I understand what you are saying Linda, but most GG's don't even talk that way or even in corresponding.
As far as the hugs thing goes, it's interesting that you would not hug a male friend or even a close male friend, maybe even a relative? It's quit common now a days. I see it all the time and even in some bard and night spots frequented by some country boys and rednecks. The hugs thin does not bother me. In fact, I use it corresponding with friends here at this site.

[2B Natasha]

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way.
To be honest some, if not most words of endearment or used as a salutation, like these turn me off to where I don't even want to correspond with those that use them or comment on their post or thread. I would not like it even if a GG used this type of salutations if I correspond with them.
Do others feel this way? Or am I just over reacting? :eek:

Hi Brandy

I'm with you. I think those types of terms are stomach churning personally. Like these people are trying to almost make fun of GG's or they are doing a caricature. But that is different then people who use terms like Hun or Baby or sweetie. Those, to me, have a nice ring of a diner waitress that make you think of your aunt or Grandma.

Would I not correspond with these people? Probable not. That type of personality and mine just don't jive but I don't think ill of them.

Cheers!

[linda allen]

;)
I understand what you are saying Linda, but most GG's don't even talk that way or even in corresponding.
As far as the hugs thing goes, it's interesting that you would not hug a male friend or even a close male friend, maybe even a relative? It's quit common now a days..

I don't like to hug guys because I don't want them to feel my bra straps. ;)

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Brandy

I'm with you. I think those types of terms are stomach churning personally. Like these people are trying to almost make fun of GG's or they are doing a caricature. But that is different then people who use terms like Hun or Baby or sweetie. Those, to me, have a nice ring of a diner waitress that make you think of your aunt or Grandma.

Would I not correspond with these people? Probable not. That type of personality and mine just don't jive but I don't think ill of them.


Cheers!

Agreed. We think pretty much alike on this.


;)

I don't like to hug guys because I don't want them to feel my bra straps. ;)

Now that would be a good reason Linda! Especially around the redneck bars I mentioned. LMAO
Of course they may think it's just the strap to your shoulder holster!

[suzy1]

I am a bit put off by this.

When I sign off with a hug it’s because I am T.G. It comes naturally for me to say that.
I meen nothing by it other than a show of affection.

If other members don’t wish to correspond with me then I am disappointed but I understand.
Some of us come here to be our real selves. Is that so bad?


Hugs, SUZY

[linda allen]

Now that would be a good reason Linda! Especially around the redneck bars I mentioned. LMAO
Of course they may think it's just the strap to your shoulder holster!

I find that guys are more apt to hug me the drunker they are.

My usual encounter with family or friends is I hug the females and shake hands with the males. It's kind of a mutual thing, we both take cues from each other. If a guy starts to hug me, I'll hug back, but usually he extends his hand to shake.

[~Joanne~]

"hugs" certainly doesn't bother me in the least, the kissy, smoochie, etc, etc does. I have never really given it much thought as to why it bothers me when they are words on a screen. In RL, no male has ever tried to kiss me so I have no problems there lol as for the hug, family may and I have no problems with it at all and friends do the one shoulder kind of hug and have no problems there either. I guess I have something new to ponder lol ;)

[Karren H]

I can't and don't say those things because it would sound like I'm over compensating or being disingenuous....... I could care less what others say..... but if the way someone talks or posts annoys me I just stay from them.....

[suzy1]

I am a bit put off by this.

When I sign off with a hug it’s because I am T.G. It comes naturally for me to say that.
I meen nothing by it other than a show of affection.

If other members don’t wish to correspond with me then I am disappointed but I understand.
Some of us come here to be our real selves. Is that so bad?


Hugs, SUZY

Brandy has just sent me a P.M. to say she did not meen “hugs”
It was just me over reacting again. I am such a silly girl.:eek:

Hugs to Brandy and the rest of you lot!:)

[Claire Cook]

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way.
Do others feel this way? Or am I just over reacting? :eek:

Maybe we're talking apples and oranges here. I agree that these terms are a bit over the top, at least for me. But the more I explore my gender rainbow, it just seems more natural to hug (and like Suzy, to sometimes sign off with a hug). When I'm dressed, I find myself calling other women "Hon" (sometimes find myself doing it in drab...). Cutesy? No. More me? Probably.

Hugs,

Claire

... and I just saw Suzy's last post, so maybe we're in more agreement here.

[Joanna41]

Me personally, I don't really pay much attention to it. I don't use them in girl or guy mode. I don't really care what salutations are used...i don't have any relationships with those that do use them or don't use them. So I know they aren't really meant to be personal in nature it's just who they are or perceive who they want to be.

Joanna

[melissakozak]

Words are our wands and they create the environment around us. Some of those words are frankly odd when used in the context of who we are. There is a maturity factor, I believe. That being said,'wet kisses' crosses the line....and everyone knows it....

[BRANDYJ]

Words are our wands and they create the environment around us. Some of those words are frankly odd when used in the context of who we are. There is a maturity factor, I believe. That being said,'wet kisses' crosses the line....and everyone knows it....

I agree Melissa. "wet kisses" is the worst of the worst to me.

[Taylor186]

I don't use the words Brandy highlighted in her first post and the GGs I correspond with don't use them either. So to me they do not represent femininity in any way whatsoever. Maybe it's a regional thing.

Or something else: I had a stepfather (later in life) who used to call any women he met, young or old, "hon." I thought that was just plain stupid but never said anything out of respect for my mom. She lived with him, I didn't.

[NicoleScott]

We should be free to use any expressions we like , and also free to ignore or respond accordingly. What gets me is the language police that have sprung up, labeling me as a racist, homophobe, or some other unfavorable slimeball for using expressions I've always heard and used without foul intent.
I was privileged to have been at two schools when the student body voted on the school's team name/mascot. Recently, the students of a school voted for "Cougars", but was overruled by "grownups" in the administration, because use of that word was offensive to women. Really? Jeez. I thought it was a mountain lion.
There are a couple of members here whose posts I never respond to, because of their......let's just say......failure to demonstrate any attempt to communicate respectably. My choice. Others have that same choice to ignore me.

[Jenniferathome]

I agree. These are terms that women do not use in real life or correspondence. While harmless, it's quite silly.

[kimdl93]

I'm a fairly reserved Scandinavian, even with people that I'm close to. So I won't use overly trite, cutesy expressions generally and not at all with most acquaintances.

[Leslie Langford]

Yes, Brandy, I find terms like, "huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine" (as you put it) rather icky, especially coming from another man - even if transgendered. To me, that's a bit too close and personal.

Then again, maybe part of that is due to my inherent personality, as even when in male mode and interacting with my wife, I don't use cutesy-pie words of endearment such as "hon", "sweetie", "snookums", "babe", "sweetheart", or "honey-bunch" etc. either. Of course, 35+ years of marriage can do that to a person as well, I suppose, and once the "hot monkey sex" type of relationship that existed in the early years has mellowed out ;).

But if others use that type of terminology here, I'm not about to get too bent out of shape over it, as I don't think it is worth making an issue out of. Besides, cultural differences come into play here, and I know that in the U.S. South, for example, such terms of endearment as "dearie", "hun", etc. are used freely and commonly even among strangers, and no one attaches any particularly deep meanings to them.

On the other hand, we all consider ourselves to be transgendered here to one degree or another, and most of us have assigned "girl" names to our alter egos - both here and in our private lives. I therefore have no problem with the use of terms such as "girls", "ladies", or "sisters" when addressing or referring to each other on this forum. After all, it is our "girl" sides interacting here in this mode, and similarly, I prefer to be addressed as "Ma'am", "Miss", "Ms.",or "lady" when out en femme. In this context, it is all about being "in character" and staying that way for the duration of the interaction.

Some members here tend to steer the middle ground, and use terms such as "gurlz" to recognize that we are essentially male/female hybrids. Such words speak to our inherent duality, and I have no problem with that either.

[Veronica27]

I was raised in an era and in a family where there was a much more reserved approach to overt displays of affection than has become common today. This applied to both speech and actions such as hugging and kissing. It applied equally to the men and the women. As a result I am a bit uncomfortable when any gathering of friends or family begins or ends with lots of hugging. I rarely encounter the cutesy type terms in person, however, and they seem a bit silly when I see them in writing. I never use them personally, but have become somewhat imune to seeing them used by others. When I first went online, I found it somewhat awkward seeing crossdressing men refer to each other as "she", which seemed to be a much larger hurdle to overcome than words like hugs and sweetie.

Veronica

[Julia Welch]

I like to wear a skirt and such ... it might seem odd to more than a few here but the "girl talk" kinda creeps me out.

[Tracii G]

I don't judge a poster by their use of little tag lines like that at the end of a post.Wet kisses is going too far IMO.
Being more of a country girl at heart "sweetie" I do use sometime because it is a accepted form of greeting here.
Kind of like a woman saying thank you "dear" in the northern states.

[Badtranny]

I don't think brandy was talking about colloquialisms like Hon, Sweetie, or Darlin'.

I think she was referring to the inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women. "giggles", "tee hee" etc. I've been amused/disturbed by this since day one.

It's such an obvious over the top affectation that I shudder to think about the mental state of someone who does it while seriously thinking they are in their "fem persona". ...and there are those here who do.

[BRANDYJ]

Terms of endearment such as "hon", "dear", "sweaty", or "honey" does not bother me in the least. I know GG's use these terms when waiting on customers in stores and restaurants all the time. Even some men use them from time to time. I was not talking about such common words as those. But oddly enough, I had not thought about it, but I would be put off if used by another CD addressing me. It would not be a biggy, but that's caring the roll many of us play being CD's, a little to far and can be deemed crossing a line. That is unless that CD was a close friend of mine and used it in some context that may seem appropriate.
My issue is with specifically the words I mentioned in my opening statement and question.
As pointed out, even GG's do not use these terms. It's kind of like the out there flamboyant gay guy with exaggerated gestures and mannerisms that to me is like them trying to be feminine and in a way, it insults women.
Using the term "hugs" or even the physical act of hugging man to man or CD to CD is way off base as to what my original post is about. Even calling each other she, her, girl friend, lady, or referring to ourselves as women is NOT what I am talking about.
So just to clarify, my topic is about the use of kissy kissy, smooches, wet kisses, kisses, and maybe a few more over the top salutations that for the most part, even a GG never uses. But it creeps me out when other CD's use them here.

EDIT: I was posting my post when badtranny posted at the same time.

Thank you Melissa! You get it! And thank you for reminding me of a few more inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women.
I agree with you 100%

[Flent]

I use “hugs” all the time, as do all my friends. I do know some other GGs who use “huggles”, but it’s much less common.

“Lippy” is common on makeup blogs.

GGs don’t ‘smooch’ each other unless they’re being ironic.

Dear/Sweetie/hon… fine if you’re saying something positive, otherwise it's patronizing.

“Wet kisses” is creepy and gross. Never say this to a woman, it's not cute and she will think you're a perverted psychopath.

[Taylor186]

Wet kisses” is creepy and gross. Never say this to a woman, it's not cute and she will think you're a perverted psychopath.


Pretty much anyone you say that to will think you are a perverted psychopath, and inane.

[GaleWarning]

Well, I suppose it is (marginally) better than a post filled with four letter words or txtspeak!

Me, I'll try not to use terms of endearment.

Regards,

CF
:battingeyelashes:

[ColleenA]

I'm a fairly reserved Scandinavian, even with people that I'm close to. So I won't use overly trite, cutesy expressions generally and not at all with most acquaintances.

This is true for me as well. My sort-of GF is 28 and uses *kisses* and *huggies* in texts to me. I have no idea if she uses them in texts to anyone else, though.

[charlie]

I think this is a tempest in a teapot. The "hugs, kisses, sweetie, and smooches" are just our inane way of trying to sound feminine in dumb way. If you know the person that you are talking to well enough to use those terms great. I've done that and signed off using hugs or kisses to friends. If used here for all of us....maybe not right, but we aren't exactly the social norm anyway.

[Melissa Rose]

I don't think brandy was talking about colloquialisms like Hon, Sweetie, or Darlin'.

I think she was referring to the inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women. "giggles", "tee hee" etc. I've been amused/disturbed by this since day one.

It's such an obvious over the top affectation that I shudder to think about the mental state of someone who does it while seriously thinking they are in their "fem persona". ...and there are those here who do.

I feel the exact same way. Melissa Hobbes and I may have talked about this over wine or lunch with wine in the past. The wine may have played a role in my fuzzy memory. Giggles.

In some ways, I find it mildly insulting to women, a sign of how clueless some are about how adult women behave, and shows a major defect in their definition of femininity. IMHO, it is similar to a straight male acting like a gay male by taking on the most flaming, effeminate, over-the-top stereotypes often used to mock or make fun of gay males. While it might be excusable for comedic effect as part of a performance (e.g., TV, theater, movie), that straight male would be seen by some as being homophobic. Yes, there are some gay males who act that way, but it is an extreme and far from the norm. Another analogous parallel is not all cross dressers and transsexuals dress and act like drag queens.

While I do not play word police and tell others what they can and cannot say, as others have mentioned, it does alter my perception of the person and whether I engage them in further written or spoken conversation.

[Sapphire]

..... but most GG's don't even talk that way or even in corresponding.

True Brandy.....but then we are not like most GGs.

[Julogden]

You're definitely overreacting. If you get annoyed at others because they don't think the same as you do or share your personal values, you're setting yourself up to be annoyed all the time.

And when you get to the point of thinking that everyone but you is wrong, take a look in the mirror to see who really is wrong.

Carol

[Marleena]

I've had a few huh? moments reading stuff here. It's not a really a big deal though.

I have used the tee-hee emoticon here a few times because (I hope) my avatar looks like a girl. When I'm here I'm Marleena and people with girl avatars are treated by me as other girls (or women). I compliment the other girls and act the way I think I should act as a girl (nobody taught me this crap).lol. If I think of you guys as guys that would be just too weird and no way could I say you look pretty etc. So it's a state of mind for me.

[Kaz]

I'm with Melissa and the majority so far on this. I do find colloquialisms grate at times though... I have a real problem with 'hun', probably because I have never really heard Brits use it. I fellow Brit on here called me 'hun' the other day and I just found it weird! But I accept it is normal the other side of the pond, just like 'ma'am'. But over here GGs frequently use terms like 'love', as in 'thanks love'... Lippy is common over here in certain regions and walks of life...

But 'wet kisses'? What is that about?

Now I do use :hugs: to mean just that... it is a way of saying... I'm with you, we are together in this, and sometimes as a sign of affection...

And I find myself using the emoticons a lot more... they are not so much words as trying to express the feeling behind the words...

[Julogden]

I don't think brandy was talking about colloquialisms like Hon, Sweetie, or Darlin'.

I think she was referring to the inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women. "giggles", "tee hee" etc. I've been amused/disturbed by this since day one.

It's such an obvious over the top affectation that I shudder to think about the mental state of someone who does it while seriously thinking they are in their "fem persona". ...and there are those here who do.
Hmmm, complaining about and insulting crossdressers on a site called Crossdressers.com .

It's just what some CD's do, and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else.

[KellyJameson]

For me how someone wishes to express themselves is up to them and I enjoy the rich range of expression on the forum.

I just ask they be genuine where their feelings match their words and do not turn womanhood into a caricature of syrupy emotional exaggerations that make me want to hurl chunks

[carhill2mn]

I agree that expressions that are not used by GWs in real conversation seem a bit much. Listening to teeny boopers or teenagers is not a good way to learn how women talk. I do use "hugs" as you see in my "signature!

[Kaz]

I think we need to remember that we are a very diverse community... and that there is and I hope that there always will be a broad range of experiences and attitudes, etc... we live, we learn, we share, we learn, we live better lives...

I agree with Kelly in that we need to embrace our diversity whilst not letting the language deteriorate into inanities or profanities that could offend... this is our community... it is good to discuss these issues... here in good old UK, we have struggled with the class system since 1066... the legacy is still there, but things have changed a lot and how the UK is portrayed in many US TV shows is just so wrong; it is a joke over here.

So 'my' comments were trying to raise the issue of colloquialisms... which was potentially inherent in the OP and subsequent posts... I thought that I would 'develop' the idea...

The bigger issue is of potentially bad taste? I don't see an immediate problem but we maybe need to watch the trend...? We can all do this... and support the community positively. If we have an issue with individual posters it might be a good idea to PM them and try to sort out differences that way? Rather than in a publicly open (and easily accessible) section

BTW I am a CD... Melissa did not insult me nor do I think that she insulted the forum... just my view..

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brandy, You better run and hide in the back of the closet because I just saw
an angry mob with a hot bucket of tar and a bag of feathers heading your way.

Good Luck.

[Badtranny]

Hmmm, complaining about and insulting crossdressers on a site called Crossdressers.com ..

Yes. Some of the neatest people I know are cross-dressers and it offends me when they get lumped in with the crazies. Is that offensive to you?



BTW I am a CD... Melissa did not insult me nor do I think that she insulted the forum... just my view..

Thanks Kaz.

[Julogden]

Yes. Some of the neatest people I know are cross-dressers and it offends me when they get lumped in with the crazies. Is that offensive to you?
Yeah, it is offensive. Who do you think you are you to pass judgment on others like that? Not much for live and let live, are you?

You must really be insecure, as you apparently need to frequently insult people here in the forums.

[Badtranny]

Yeah, it is offensive. Who do you think you are you to pass judgment on others like that? Not much for live and let live, are you?

You must really be insecure, as you apparently need to frequently insult people here in the forums.

Well, I can't deny passing judgement on people. It's kind of in our nature to judge others as worthy or unworthy of our time. I make judgements everyday and there are definitely people and activities that I find to be beneath me or unworthy of further consideration. Who am I to judge? Nobody special, just another person who has every right to be discerning about who I let into my life.

As for the live and let live comment, you got me all wrong lady. I would never tell somebody that they can't be whoever they want to be, but that doesn't mean that I have to participate does it? if somebody wants to come on here and titter and giggle like a 9 year old, then they are free to do so as far as I'm concerned, but I reserve the right to say it's silly and embarrassing.

There are some creepy people on this board and I'm not ashamed to say so. They have a right to exist, but so do I and so do my cross-dressing friends. If I want to draw a line between my friends and people I consider creepy, then I will and if you think I'm out of line, then you should say something about it. The bottom line is this; Just because I accept that you exist doesn't mean I have to let you drink my wine.

[Julogden]

Well, I can't deny passing judgement on people. It's kind of in our nature to judge others as worthy or unworthy of our time. I make judgements everyday and there are definitely people and activities that I find to be beneath me or unworthy of further consideration. Who am I to judge? Nobody special, just another person who has every right to be discerning about who I let into my life.

As for the live and let live comment, you got me all wrong lady. I would never tell somebody that they can't be whoever they want to be, but that doesn't mean that I have to participate does it? if somebody wants to come on here and titter and giggle like a 9 year old, then they are free to do so as far as I'm concerned, but I reserve the right to say it's silly and embarrassing.

There are some creepy people on this board and I'm not ashamed to say so. They have a right to exist, but so do I and so do my cross-dressing friends. If I want to draw a line between my friends and people I consider creepy, then I will and if you think I'm out of line, then you should say something about it. The bottom line is this; Just because I accept that you exist doesn't mean I have to let you drink my wine.
In my opinion, people like you are a large part of why this world has become a meaner, uglier place.

As far as I'm concerned, you definitely are out of line. Your postings here definitely violate the forum rule that says we're required to treat other members with respect and tolerance. Your excuses to justify your bad behavior don't fly. The bottom line is that you're not tolerant of some who are different than you, exactly the same way many cisgendered bigots are intolerant of all of us, including you. I'm sure you'd be upset if someone cisgendered was constantly rude to you in the manner that you're rude to some people in these forums, and IMO, your rudeness shouldn't be tolerated here, but for some reason, it is.

[Marleena]

Thinking out loud here. I think we can find better things to do than complain about the other members. This type of thread is not too cool.

[reb.femme]

Hi Brandy,

I have some agreement with what you say but in all honesty I just try to look past it. I'm guilty of the x after my name normally.
Personally, it's the quality of the post that either drags me in or repels me in the other direction.

I think posts like this are useful, providing you have sharpened your sword blade and make ready to repel boarders, as they can rapidly turn nasty, when that was not the posters intention. :eek:
Best kiss.....wishes, I mean wishes!

Rebecca

[BRANDYJ]

Thinking out loud here. I think we can find better things to do than complain about the other members. This type of thread is not too cool.

Marleena, I am disappointed in you since I disagree with you about this type of thread since I started it. The only thing that made this thread bad is one member calling out another member in a not so friendly manner. I even remember you complaining about a few members in PM's to me if I'm not mistaken. I only see one rude poster here. Sad, that topics like this can't be discussed without name calling and accusing someone of being intolerant and judgmental. And I've said it before and say it again, there is not one person here who is not judgmental about others or the way others act, dress or say. Anyone, and I mean anyone that says they are not judgmental is a liar. We all judge things in our lives everyday. The very person that called Mellissa judgmental was being in fact, very judgmental herself. The pot calling the kettle black. So see, i just judged that person myself. Any time you say you don't like this or don't like that, you are judging. It's human nature. I like what Mellissa said in her posts on this topic. I don't see her offending me or anyone else. But someone judged her as being offensive? Is that not being judgmental? In fact she kept her cool and she conducted herself better then I could in the face of an uncalled for attack. It's obvious the offender does not like Mellissa and came to this thread to judge her further and about to ruin an otherwise good thread with lots of opinions and how others feel about the topic I presented.


Hi Brandy,

I have some agreement with what you say but in all honesty I just try to look past it. I'm guilty of the x after my name normally.
Personally, it's the quality of the post that either drags me in or repels me in the other direction.

I think posts like this are useful, providing you have sharpened your sword blade and make ready to repel boarders, as they can rapidly turn nasty, when that was not the posters intention. :eek:
Best kiss.....wishes, I mean wishes!
Rebecca

Hi Rebecca, Thank you for your opinion and how you feel about the words I pointed out in my original post. And I can sometimes look past some of it too. I guess it depends on the poster and what they have to say too... in some cases.
I wish I could repell those that get nasty, But as they say, "not my job". it's the job of our great moderators when they read something and have to judge someone's actions and words. And let me judgmental here and now about you and Marleena above. Your both OK in my book. Thanks again.

Hugs, Brandy

[sometimes_miss]

I used to think it was stupid; but as years went on, I felt it was just some people's way of expressing their desperation at wanting to be seen as female. We've all seen the posts with the 'giggle giggle' and 'tee hee' written all over it, or honey and dearie, etc. used as a pronoun. BAsically, do whatever you're comfortable with here on the forums; just be aware that if you behave that way in public, especially with the over the top vocal range transitions, you'll probably be viewed more like a caraciture than a genuine person of that gender.

[Marleena]

Marleena, I am disappointed in you since I disagree with you about this type of thread since I started it. The only thing that made this thread bad is one member calling out another member in a not so friendly manner. I even remember you complaining about a few members in PM's to me if I'm not mistaken. I only see one rude poster here.


Brandy you go ahead and be disappointed in me. That is fine with me because we can't agree on everything. When we embarass other members in a public setting it's not cool.
I know the poster that caused you to start this thread I think others might be able to figure it out too. Their choice of words like I said makes me go huh? We have already had a few disageements among posters in this thread. Some things are better left unsaid.

[Samantha_Smile]

Things that get said by Crossdressers? Well, not so much on here, but Im a regular visitor of a well known CD/TV/TG/TS chat site.
And the some of the stuff I see and read there? Some of it is unrepeatable, the stuff that is repeatable is frankly ridiculous.

Men using pictures of their GF in their profile and saying its a photo of themselves.
CDs calling themselves transexuals when theyre blatantly just borrowing their wives clothes. How do I know? What transexual do YOU know that would appear on cam with male pattern baldness, facial hair and no makeup?
CDs who tell everyone that theyre 'non-op' transexuals, but they wear a wig thats comparable to Marge Simpson's boufant..... You go out like that?
The overuse of Hun, dear, sweetie, girlfriend.... Were NOT BLOODY WOMEN. So stop that... God damn it, not even genetic women talk like that!
My favorite thing I see, is randoms typing into main chat, BS like "Oh, isn't it wonderful being a woman", "Damn hormones. Only 7 days on them and by boobs are really sore"...
Err, what? Is that dress also a time machine? Did it reverse the course of history, jump in your mum's womb and make sure you got that second X chromasome youre telling everyone that you have?
And 7 days of hormones? What? Theres no words for how much of an idiot you just made yourself sound!

[Tara D. Rose]

Things that get said by Crossdressers? Well, not so much on here, but Im a regular visitor of a well known CD/TV/TG/TS chat site.
And the some of the stuff I see and read there? Some of it is unrepeatable, the stuff that is repeatable is frankly ridiculous.

Men using pictures of their GF in their profile and saying its a photo of themselves.
CDs calling themselves transexuals when theyre blatantly just borrowing their wives clothes. How do I know? What transexual do YOU know that would appear on cam with male pattern baldness, facial hair and no makeup?
CDs who tell everyone that theyre 'non-op' transexuals, but they wear a wig thats comparable to Marge Simpson's boufant..... You go out like that?
The overuse of Hun, dear, sweetie, girlfriend.... Were NOT BLOODY WOMEN. So stop that... God damn it, not even genetic women talk like that!
My favorite thing I see, is randoms typing into main chat, BS like "Oh, isn't it wonderful being a woman", "Damn hormones. Only 7 days on them and by boobs are really sore"...
Err, what? Is that dress also a time machine? Did it reverse the course of history, jump in your mum's womb and make sure you got that second X chromasome youre telling everyone that you have?
And 7 days of hormones? What? Theres no words for how much of an idiot you just made yourself sound!

I agree with you Smiles, and to add one more to your list would be " how do your girls tuck? I have such difficulty with tucking, for I keep falling out" implying they have such a monster on the loose.

[Badtranny]

In my opinion, people like you are a large part of why this world has become a meaner, uglier place.

Gosh I guess you told me.


your rudeness shouldn't be tolerated here, but for some reason, it is.

Perhaps because my "rudeness" is really just frankness. You may be the kind of person that simply needs a certain amount of pleasantries mixed in with your discourse and if that's the case, than somebody like me will always be offensive to you.

"people like me" are really no different than people like you except that we prefer honest unadorned conversation on our forums rather than silliness and fantasy. In regard to this particular forum I tend to take certain things rather seriously and I am a firm believer that this forum is worthless without as much honesty as possible from the members. This is not a fantasy or gaming board, this is a discussion forum where people deal with dead serious issues and I believe we owe it to each other to at least act like adults. I don't know who you are but every one of my posts has been honest or reflective of who I actually am in real life. I don't have anything to hide anymore and I continue to post my actual real opinions and experiences because it helps people. I know this because they contact me and tell me so. You may think I am callous and rude and you are certainly welcome to your opinion (and kudos to you for being honest) but I'm actually very protective of my CD & TS sisters thus I tend to not suffer fools gladly.

[Pexetta]

I've typed about 6 heated posts into this thread and then thought better of them. So I'll just say that I think we're forming a circular firing squad here.

[Bree-asaurus]

Gosh I guess you told me.

Perhaps because my "rudeness" is really just frankness. You may be the kind of person that simply needs a certain amount of pleasantries mixed in with your discourse and if that's the case, than somebody like me will always be offensive to you.

"people like me" are really no different than people like you except that we prefer honest unadorned conversation on our forums rather than silliness and fantasy. In regard to this particular forum I tend to take certain things rather seriously and I am a firm believer that this forum is worthless without as much honesty as possible from the members. This is not a fantasy or gaming board, this is a discussion forum where people deal with dead serious issues and I believe we owe it to each other to at least act like adults. I don't know who you are but every one of my posts has been honest or reflective of who I actually am in real life. I don't have anything to hide anymore and I continue to post my actual real opinions and experiences because it helps people. I know this because they contact me and tell me so. You may think I am callous and rude and you are certainly welcome to your opinion (and kudos to you for being honest) but I'm actually very protective of my CD & TS sisters thus I tend to not suffer fools gladly.

^^^ Full of truthiness.

I got cho back Mel!

[Julogden]

The very person that called Mellissa judgmental was being in fact, very judgmental herself. The pot calling the kettle black. So see, i just judged that person myself. Any time you say you don't like this or don't like that, you are judging. It's human nature. I like what Mellissa said in her posts on this topic. I don't see her offending me or anyone else. But someone judged her as being offensive? Is that not being judgmental? In fact she kept her cool and she conducted herself better then I could in the face of an uncalled for attack. It's obvious the offender does not like Mellissa and came to this thread to judge her further and about to ruin an otherwise good thread with lots of opinions and how others feel about the topic I presented.
I initially responded to your original posting, then I saw Melissa's response and called her out for being rude, something that I've seen her do in these forums on other occasions, and she was indeed rude.

The concept of your original posting was "not too cool", as Marleena correctly pointed out. What you said in your original posting has a lot of potential to embarrass other members, and that's definitely not cool. And yes, I judged Melissa and now you for being rude, and with good reason. There's nothing wrong with being judgemental for a valid reason, as opposed to inane reasons. You just decided to whine about how some affectations of some members here annoyed you, no provocation at all, just being judgemental because you didn't like what a few others here say at times. Not cool indeed.

Carol

[Kaz]

OK... I am not assigned as moderator to this thread, but I am putting my Mod hat on NOW! :angry:

I missed the development of the thread as my band was gigging and I have just got back - it is 1am here...

We will not condone personal attacks on members. Read the rules. We will let things run for so long, but this thread has been getting close to close down time. Now please act as the supportive adults you claim to be in other threads. We all have different opinions and this is fair, as that is life and we all need to embrace diversity... but we will not tolerate personal attacks. Get back on thread... NOW! :hwac:

I think it was about some of OUR members using certain words/phrases that didn't gel with others... and I agreed, some stuff gets my goat - but I also support their right to use words and phrases that work in their context... Brandy if the post was aimed at a broader reach (i.e. further than this forum... I apologise).

Kaz

[Marleena]

Ever wish you didn't reply to a thread? This is one of them for me. I do not have a problem with any of the posters in this thread, I just stated what I thought. That's what the forum is for. If I did have a disagreement with somebody I would prefer to say it directly to them and I have in the public forum.

Now to use Bree's old signature, "can't we all get along"?

[Bree-asaurus]

Ever wish you didn't reply to a thread? This is one of them for me. I do not have a problem with any of the posters in this thread, I just stated what I thought. That's what the forum is for. If I did have a disagreement with somebody I would prefer to say it directly to them and I have in the public forum.

Now to use Bree's old signature, "can't we all get along"?

I haven't really followed the stuff that happened in this thread, but I know you've always had good intentions. I got cho back too!

I'll catch up and shoot my mouth off soon if this thread doesn't get closed :P

[Kaz]

You know something? If we all got into the same room in real time and in reality and looked into each other's eyes this would probably all go away?

I HATE THE WORD HUN or however you guys spell it... To me it is so patronising and whatever... OK I know it is a diminutive of 'honey', but call anyone honey where I live and you will get looks and stares like you are an alien! If it isn't colloquial it certainly is culturally contextualised.

I suspect that some of us adopt certain language routines to try to connect to our female side (however you want to define that), and if that is needed I don't have a problem. I may not like the language used... but that is MY problem to deal with! So as a Brit I don't accept 'smooches' as an English word... but I have to accept its usage... do I find it offensive? It depends on the intention behind the word...

I judge no-one and I am not judgemental, but I accept that some people are inflicted with this need... and when they exercise it and I am involved... it really cuts like a knife... I get hurt. There is nothing wrong with having an open mind and being tolerant... I am serious... It is very enlightening and very humbling...

I am hoping that we can swing this thread round to a positive before it dies... any takers?

[Bree-asaurus]

You know something? If we all got into the same room in real time and in reality and looked into each other's eyes this would probably all go away?

You're right there. The disconnect of the internet (hah I made a funny) is prone to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Heck Kaz, you and I have had our share of arguments in the past. But in person, things would probably go a lot smoother.

[Kaz]

You're right there. The disconnect of the internet (hah I made a funny) is prone to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Heck Kaz, you and I have had our share of arguments in the past. But in person, things would probably go a lot smoother.

Naaaw, I love arguments too much! :heehee: :hugs:

[Julogden]

Kaz, "Hun" is a perfectly acceptable way to address people in many parts of this country, and in others it might get looks and stares from some people too. It's used pretty commonly here where I live, and I've used it myself at times, but I usually reserve its use to close friends and family members.

Some of the terms brought up in the original posting are commonly used by some people, others would never use them. And yeah, I'd never use them myself, but I'd never even think of criticizing anyone else for using terms like that.

We all need to be remember that stuff like that is no big deal. If we find it annoying, just tune it out. We all have habits and ways that someone somewhere will find annoying.

[Frédérique]

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way. To be honest some, if not most words of endearment or used as a salutation, like these turn me off to where I don't even want to correspond with those that use them or comment on their post or thread. I would not like it even if a GG used this type of salutations if I correspond with them.

I don’t think WARM salutations are a bad thing, but you can go too far. I get turned off by people who use NO salutations at all in their messages, but I’m aware of differing “approaches” to this idea of femininity some of us are trying to embrace – a nice little something, no more, no less, is always appreciated by this girl. Aren’t we supposed to be supporting each other? Gimme a hug…
:bighug:

Wet kisses, Freddy :kiss: :kiss:

[Marlana]

i agree with Brandy. I'm not a fan of the hugs except when using it as a supportive thing. When someone is having problems and they might need a hug to feel like we've got their back, it's ok. Linda, you crack me up...but you're right. I don't want anyone feeling my bra straps either! :)

[Pexetta]

Got no problem with 'hun' myself, it seems like the US equivalent of 'love/luv'.

Even GGs differ greatly in how they write, I remember my favourite female colleague showing me an email from her mum which ended with about 3 lines of 'love you so much xxxxxxoxoxox', and I said 'My mum would just have put "Take care now dear".'

[bridgetta]

. Sometimes reading posts you get the feeling that theyre really enjoying it a little too much

[noeleena]

Hi,

One learns a lot mixing with other peoples from different countys.

As you know i mix with many groups of people those im a member of & other i know through our groups.

I of cause write letters & do emails how i sign them is pretty much the same if its some one i dont know or have meet ,

I will just end with kind reguards, those i know its with Hugs & xxx thats my signitue if you like, like with my name of ...noeleena...
As to other endearments im not fussed by them & do not use them , im a woman i expect to be treated like & as one ,
You allso know im a female. with the little exta that makes me who i am .

Many of my friends who are male i may greet them with a hug or on departing allso a hug some i dont know when ill see them again. my women friends are treated in the same way.

Im not a young girl so the 60's sayings dont mean any thing to me , i use the persons name when talking with them .

On the forums ill use the persons name or the one given for me to use. in real life i ask those who are dressers or trans what name would you like me to use its them up to them.

what then do i do when your in male mode call you honny or some other girly name in front of others & people would then look & start thinking whats this, .

If & when some one asks me my name you all know what it is , noeleena.

May be im to english in my langage well Kiwi then & was taught that you address the person by name what ever it may be,

To me its respect to & for that person. as i would expect the same from any one.

Some times i do get called dear or love , & thats okay .

One thing we learn is etiquette or just be nice to each other as you would like others to treat you.
& that to me means as a woman.

...noeleena...

[sterling12]

But, your not going to stop it! A lot of T-Girls ONLY get The Caricature correct. They think they are emulating women, when it's just not so! A lot of The Silliness will continue, no matter how logical your OP may be, because we are always replenishing our Stock of Newbies.

So, I imagine to a lot of GG's, we can appear to be like SOME Very Flamboyant Drag Queens. Maybe that's why they often tell us that, "You just don't get it!"


My biggest Pet-Peeve! "Please do not start your Message with "Flutters/Bats her eyes." To me, it sounds pretentious and silly. "Real Women" don't "swoon" anymore, they don't drop their hankies to get attention, and they certainly don't Bat their Eyes! Yeah, I just said it won't stop; but like a child anticipating Christmas Morning, I certainly hope for The Best!

So, I'll just say Huggles to all you Sweeties, and wiggle,giggle on down The Street.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Badtranny]

So, I'll just say Huggles to all you Sweeties, and wiggle,giggle on down The Street.

Thanks Joanie for bringing this back to Brandy's original point. Nobody cares about the hons, sweeties, and darlins. It's the silly titters and giggles and childlike affectations that makes some CD's seem kinda creepy when you consider that they are really middle aged men sitting around in panties pretending to be pre-teen girls.

I have some great friends who are CD's and I'm offended for them. There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing or gender play of any sort but we need to stop pretending that it's okay to hate yourself so much that it literally fractures your personality to the point that a macho mechanic feels the need to secretly pretend to be a little girl because he cannot accept himself for who he really is.

[Kaz]

But, your not going to stop it! A lot of T-Girls ONLY get The Caricature correct. They think they are emulating women, when it's just not so! A lot of The Silliness will continue, no matter how logical your OP may be, because we are always replenishing our Stock of Newbies.

So, I imagine to a lot of GG's, we can appear to be like SOME Very Flamboyant Drag Queens. Maybe that's why they often tell us that, "You just don't get it!"


My biggest Pet-Peeve! "Please do not start your Message with "Flutters/Bats her eyes." To me, it sounds pretentious and silly. "Real Women" don't "swoon" anymore, they don't drop their hankies to get attention, and they certainly don't Bat their Eyes! Yeah, I just said it won't stop; but like a child anticipating Christmas Morning, I certainly hope for The Best!

So, I'll just say Huggles to all you Sweeties, and wiggle,giggle on down The Street.

Peace and Love, Joanie

And so will I at various points when I need to connect to the person I am aiming my communication at... and this a big issue for me.... how do you address an intended audience? In non-virtual life, I don't have a problem until it becomes virtual... and then the other cues don't exist... using the emoticons (just click advanced settings below...) helps to express the emotion behind the words... not perfect, but a useful tool....

We frequently argue about the choice of language and the implied 'tone' rather than the content...

Glad this thread calmed down!

Peace and Love,

Kaz aka Stan!

Sorry just an attempt at ironic humour! Time for bed... said zebedeee
xxxxx

[Lori B]

I think you may be over reacting.

If we talked like this in real life, we would certainly be thought of as gay, but on this forum, we assume the identity of our alter ego, in most cases, a female.

In real life I would never give you a :hugs:, but as Linda, I feel free to.
I agree with Linda,,,but I don't use huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses...lol!:doh::heehee:

[BRANDYJ]

The simple thing I have been told by a few writing coaches and an author I know is that I tend to write exactly as I would talk in person. I believe this is true. I don't put on airs or acts for anyone, even in an open forum.
I think if everyone did that, this thread would not have even started. I don't have an "on-line" personality different then I am in person. I say what's on my mind, I tell it like it is.

[Marleena]

I just looked for the wet kisses emoticon, I can't find the damn thing!:D

[Kaz]

Thanks Joanie for bringing this back to Brandy's original point. Nobody cares about the hons, sweeties, and darlins. It's the silly titters and giggles and childlike affectations that makes some CD's seem kinda creepy when you consider that they are really middle aged men sitting around in panties pretending to be pre-teen girls.

I have some great friends who are CD's and I'm offended for them. There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing or gender play of any sort but we need to stop pretending that it's okay to hate yourself so much that it literally fractures your personality to the point that a macho mechanic feels the need to secretly pretend to be a little girl because he cannot accept himself for who he really is.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So true... we all know that words matter and we can search for context within the words used... but there are words that grate between groups and I worry about how those barriers get created and get maintained..

[Kaz]

I just looked for the wet kisses emoticon, I can't find the damn thing!:D

If we really wanted one (or should I say needed on) we would have one! :D:hugs:

[Marleena]

If we wanted one we would have one!

Ummm... just no!!!!!!! lol.

[April_Ligeia]

As I read this thread, I want to be open minded. However, "wet kisses" is offputting. I don't really understand the reactions to Melissa Hobbes, either. She's just stating her opinion, which is what makes these threads interesting. Interesting to me is that although "wet kisses" sounds creepy, "wine flavored kisses" makes me think it would be nice to kiss Melissa. Pretty subjective, that fine line between what works and what doesn't.

[Leah Lynn]

I spent a lot of years trying to macho the girly feelings out of myself. I've worn tigerstripe camo in several SE Asian countries, Africa, South America. On more occasions I've said, "I got your back, Bro!" I was a salvage diver until I got a little nitrogen narcosis. I've operated heavy equipment and drive an 18 wheeler. I finally realized that I CAN be who I want to be (sort of) and I like to be on the femme side. If anyone wants to respond to me in a feminine manner, I'll accept it. If I have to take everything like "A Guy In A Dress", like all male, I could go back to "The High Road" and be macho. I'm not into little girl or sissy stuff. I wish to be a mature woman and treated as such here.
End of rant; Sorry!

[Badtranny]

Interesting to me is that although "wet kisses" sounds creepy, "wine flavored kisses" makes me think it would be nice to kiss Melissa.

LOL

...and you would be correct darlin', It would be very nice indeed. ;-)

[max]

There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing or gender play of any sort but we need to stop pretending that it's okay to hate yourself so much that it literally fractures your personality to the point that a macho mechanic feels the need to secretly pretend to be a little girl because he cannot accept himself for who he really is.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That!