Buying clothes for a reason

[Kimberlyfaye]

I was just wondering if any of you have ever felt bad buying clothes which a GG might want? For example at a charity shop (thrift store, is that right in the US?) or on ebay. There might be a GG who really wants an item of clothing and some guy has bought it for crossdressing reasons. And would it ever stop you if you did?

This is ideally a question aimed at those who just crossdress and not those who are TG or TS. But anyone is welcome to add their answers :)

I guess I should start and I would say yes. I bought a dress on ebay and I do feel a little guilty that a GG didn't win what she must have wanted for better reasons than I had. I'm sure she might have had a formal party to go to and I won the dress just because it was beautiful.

This just crossed my mind and I wanted to share it.

[Karren H]

In line to checkout once a woman asked me "where did you find those boots" as I was waiting to purchase them..... Told her the isle number but they were the last pair... I didn't feel bad at all mater of fact I felt like I had won!... Yeah! Shopping for womens clothing should be an olympic sport!

[Kimberlyfaye]

So that was you who took the boots I wanted Miss Hutton! ;)

[kimdl93]

If I bought clothing on eBay, I wouldn't have the least concern that I was depriving someone more deserving. Its a bidding war. As for a thrift store - I don't shop at any and never have, but even if I did, I figure everyone has a chance to sort through the racks and pick things that they want. Besides, you can always donate that perfect dress back to the thrift shop once you've worn it.

[Lorileah]

I bet you are the one who won't take the last piece of cake too. :)

Survival of the fittest, first come first served, early bird and the worm.

Twice I have had GGs actually force me away from the sale rack so they could get something I was looking at.:Playnice::kickbutt::surrender

Things at the thrift store and on Ebay are fair game for everyone. Both places are open to the public and they want to make profit off the item. Now if they were handing things out to homeless or poor people, then I would draw the line. But I have seen people in brand new BMW's park around the corner to get their dog spayed cheaper.

[ColleenA]

Why should I? GGs -- and many, many TSs -- have completely free rein to go into any women's store/department they want, try on practically anything without anyone batting an eye, and purchase whatever suits their fancy and their budget.

Me? Most of my shopping is done at thrift stores in October, the one time of year when I get to try the clothes on before buying, or at other times under the facade of buying a birthday or anniversary gift for my SO but without any opportunity to try the article on first.

[GaleWarning]

Barefoot in the kitchen, Kimberlyfaye? No wonder you are upset!

No guilt here!

[Karren H]

So that was you who took the boots I wanted Miss Hutton! ;)

Even grandmas know not to get between me and a rack of clearance dresses! :D

[Kate Simmons]

The clothes are made by the manufacturer and sold by the retailer to make a profit. Who wears them and what they are worn for is not their concern. If we are or are not concerned individually, that is entirely up to us Hon.:)

[Tracii G]

Heck no if I grab it its mine end of story.LOL
I've had to battle women over a top or jeans before.Even had them offer me more than I paid walking out of the store.

[AllieSF]

I understand your question but wonder at the reason that you asked it. If you look at all your purchases for whatever, there may be another person wanting that same item from that same store and shelf, but you got the last one. Now if the was a non-feminine item, would you feel bad? Maybe a female was looking for a gift for her sick boyfriend or husband. My point is that when you are buying something, you have already made the conscious decision to purchase that specific item. Unless, it is the last item of food in a store and a thin, hungry and probably destitute person got there just as you put it into your basket, you have every right to a guiltless purchase. The things you are talking about is clothes and you referenced a thrift store. The thrift stores normally exist to generate funds (money) that is then used to pay for services and maybe facilities for the needy. The selling to the needy also helps, but the prime focus usually is to obtain money to provide services and goods for the needy. The items for sale are many and are replenished daily, so just like any shopping, there are more than enough options and alternate items to satisfy one's needs.

Now back to my wondering about why you asked. Maybe you feel insecure about your dressing, or that you are intruding into the feminine arena where males normally are not allowed and you don't feel that you should be. I am just guessing. But, I would worry less about taking away from someone, and more about how to adequately satisfy your needs, dress well inexpensively. Good luck and happy shopping.

[Missy]

first come first get. I find something I like I will buy it if I can spend the extra money while making sure that the bills are paid first. If some lady told me that that dress was hers I would just say as I was paying for the dress, "Oops My dress now!" with no quilt at all

[cyndigurl45]

I could have answered this with one word, but the forum wont let me "NOPE"

[~Joanne~]

I don't think I would feel guilty in the least. As others have stated, first come, first served and all that good stuff. My money is the same as their money looking to buy the same dress ;)

I agree with Lorileah, never from the homeless or such but in the store it's fair game.

[Kimberlyfaye]

I don't always feel bad. Just like 1% of the time. It's like if maybe a GG really wanted a dress for her prom and I bought the last one I would as I will never wear it for a prom. I wouldn't give it up but I would feel a little bad. It's more if the clothing is one of a kind. Not if it's in a store where there are like 20 of the same dress.

I wouldn't say I feel like I'm intruding in female territory, more that I wont wear something because I can't whereas a GG can go to a formal party and wear a gorgeous dress. After all I am still genetically male so I can't dress as I want to. Well not yet anyway. My life is too complicated. If I ever do get to be a female 24/7 then 100% I'm buying and wearing whatever I like. They're my clothes, I saw them first! :)

I was just curious. It's my nature. My curiosity is what started it all anyway lols :)

[kimdl93]

.... a GG can go to a formal party and wear a gorgeous dress. After all I am still genetically male so I can't dress as I want to. Well not yet anyway. My life is too complicated....:) :)

Well, if your avatar is any indication, Kimberly, you can confidently wear that gorgeous dress at the next formal party.

[Lorileah]

I would as I will never wear it for a prom.

Maybe some will ask you, don't give up and now you have a dress!

[Ressie]

Hmmm, I don't have prom dress yet. Haven't had the need for one :) The thought has crossed my mind on ebay, that other bidders would most likely be GGs. But so far, I've only used the buy it now option.

[linda allen]

No, it doesn't bother me to buy women's clothes anymore than it bothers me to buy hamburgers or auto parts. If I was putting it in my cart and it was the last one and some sad looking GG said to me "Please, mister, I really wanted that skirt to impress my boyfriend and it's the last one in the store.", I expect I would let her buy it, but ebay? Folks are selling and folks are buying. It's a competition and the winner gets the prize.

[Ashley D.]

When I'm sopping I get so high off it I don't care a about much. But something looks on me.
P.S. I need help dose anyone know where I could a shoppers anonymous meeting?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kim, First come first served survival of the fittest.

[Erica2Sweet]

Hi Kimberly.

I can't say I've ever experienced this type of guilt, but I can see how this could be yet another way for someone to beat herself up over her crossdressing.

Here I thought I had experienced every flavor of guilt imaginable regarding my gender issues. :)

[Emily Barton]

There might be a GG who really wants an item of clothing and some guy has bought it for crossdressing reasons.

You talk as though crossdressing is somehow a less valid reason for buying something. Why is wanting a dress for the prom a "better" reason than a guy wanting it so he can feel beautiful? And when you think about it... if a GG were to buy the dress purely for prom it's likely to only be worn once, whereas in your case I'm sure it will be worn again and again and possibly cherished more for it. Either way, the dress ends up with someone who will make use of it and love it so... why feel guilty?

[Vickie_CDTV]

Even if you were depriving a less fortunate GG of something, when you buy something from a charity shop the money (hopefully!) is still going to a charity that helps the less fortunate.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Well, if your avatar is any indication, Kimberly, you can confidently wear that gorgeous dress at the next formal party.


Maybe some will ask you, don't give up and now you have a dress!

Thank you girls. That put a big big smile on my face. It made my day :)

All these responses are great. I didn't expect such an overwhelming answer.


You talk as though crossdressing is somehow a less valid reason for buying something. Why is wanting a dress for the prom a "better" reason than a guy wanting it so he can feel beautiful? And when you think about it... if a GG were to buy the dress purely for prom it's likely to only be worn once, whereas in your case I'm sure it will be worn again and again and possibly cherished more for it. Either way, the dress ends up with someone who will make use of it and love it so... why feel guilty?

That is a great point Emily. I'll have to think about my feelings next time. And be a little less sympathetic towards a GG who wants clothes that I want. It is true that I love the clothes probably more than she would. My clothes make me a woman, hers are just clothes. I guess that's a good way to look at it.

[Cheryl T]

Never crossed my mind and NO it would not bother me. There are so many of each item produced by manufacturers that there must be another out there that a GG could find...I found THIS one...
Reverse that and ask the GG's if they feel bad thinking that they bought something that we might have wanted. I am certain the answer will be the same.
After all, shopping is a first come, first served arena isn't it?

[Jordan-NH]

That's interesting. I was in Goodwill a couple weeks ago and the same exact thing crossed my mind. Then I looked around to the multiple racks of clothing that stood before me and I realized, there is no shortage of clothing in this world. Us wearing it is just as valid as anyone one else and the more we buy the more we help the economy. Oh yeah, I justified it politically in my mind.

[kristinacd55]

Every girl for herself.....it shouldn't be diminished that you're buying it for yourself. After all, we're going out too just like any gg is.

[Violetgray]

If you are a crossdresser, a male who has had to repress his desires from childhood, chances are that dress is much more special to you than it is to her.