wife and I's agreement

[CdD Janessa]

so the wife and i had a long talk the other nite bout me loving to dress and her not wanting anything to do with it finally got her approval that if she is out of town i can dress as long as she don't know bout it. She is still a little hesitant about the whole subject but at least she is no longer threatening me. After we had talked a while i told her my dreams of her helping me dress someday or her dressing me up like a princess of some sort which i have always dreamed of. she said she would consider it as long as i buy her some new make-up and i will get her store brand makeup. can't wait for this day to come just don't know when it will be. Any ideas on how to make the cross dressing conversation a little easier with her, comments and ideas would be greatly appreciated. thx
jeremiah

[ReineD]

I'm glad that you talked about this more in depth and you and your wife have come to a compromise for now.

But, a word of advice ... as long as your wife is "iffy" about this, I wouldn't be asking her to dress you as a princess, even if she gets makeup as a reward. Trust me, if a woman feels queasy about her husband's CDing, she will only grow to resent it more if she engages in behaviors before she feels ready to do so in her heart.

[Chickhe]

I'll say it again... make it fun for her. To me that means going out on Halloween, meeting people, showing her and others a good time. If you want her to dress you up, do it for a party so she can see what you look like...the idea being that if it doesn't go so well you just do it differently next time and its not in the context of any everyday event. My other recommendation is to keep the heavy feelings out of it...just do it and don't explain much...because you'll get it wrong anyways.

[Amanda_P]

Thats how I came out to alot of my wifes family. I dressed one halloween and everyone had fun with it and now I've been doing it for the last 15 years. It's great because you can go as so many differant personas. My favorate was a little black leather skirt with tank top and a whip with handcuffs. Got some wierd looks from people but I'd just crack my whip and go sit on their laps.

[Jenniferathome]

I'm with Reine 100%.

Move forward slowly and comfortably for HER. I would recommend a regular conversation on the topic of crossdressing so that she can try to understand more about you in this regard.

[kimdl93]

I agree with both REine and Chickhe on this one. Go at her pace, keep your princess fantasies to yourself, and if the opportunity arises, try to make the expereince fun for HER. That might mean going with her shopping en drab and buying things for her. It could be going out of your way to do any of a dozen things that she enjoys...without making it contingent on getting something for yourself.

[linda allen]

Yes, go at her pace, whatever she is comfortable with. I started with a bra, then panties. Then my wife gave me some blouses that no longer fit her. I said something about a skirt once when we were out shopping. She balked at that but when we got home she gave me a couple skorts that she didn't like anymore.

A few more time shopping (buying stuff for her), and we bought a couple blouses and eventually, a couple skirts for me.

One day she came home from the gym and I was wearing my denim skirt and a blouse. She looked me up and down, smiled and said "I hate it when you look better in a skirt than I do."

Further on down the road we were in KMart and passing through the shoe section. I picked up a pair of size 12W flats and said "Is this me?" She asked if I was going to wear them and I quickly tried them on. She put them back in the box and it was on to the checkout counter.

A couple weeks ago she took me to the mall to get my ears pierced. When we got home she gave me a pair of earrings to wear when the beginner studs come out.

I try to judge where she is with all this and what she is comfortable with and what she is uneasy with. It changes a little from day to day.

I also tell her and show her every day how much I love and appreciate her and her understanding. A couple days after I started with the bra and panties, I went out and got her a couple cards expressing how much I love her. Not a birthday or anniversary, just because I was loving her especially that day.

So, in addition to going at her pace, treat her especially nice whenever there is progress.

[Karren H]

Bribery!... Love it... what happened when she has all new makeup and you have bought her all new clothes? New Mercedes E class? lol

[StephineUK]

argree with the above and would like to add something..

YES deffo ...take you time with it , and ask how she feels when you try someting new like makeup heels and tights etc...

also ask for her advice on things and value her judgement .. will this skirt go with them heels?? if anything she will find it funny!!

also respect her opinons as it can or may take time to understand now you feel .. and trust me that will be better in the long run!!

Relax and have fun toghter!!!

[Cynthia Anne]

I think Karren may be on to something here! Although I wound move the new Mercedes to the top of the lists! That will get you where you are headed a lot quicker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Karren H]

I think Karren may be on to something here! Although I wound move the new Mercedes to the top of the lists! That will get you where you are headed a lot quicker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe that's why my wife is so unaccepting? 13 year old mini-van! lol

[Anita_2]

I started conversation about CD with my wife with conversation about tights and stockings – she agreed that I can wear it if that is sexual for me. Next step was that we started to buying tights together after some time she accepted that normaly than I started conversation about lingeries that has been difficulty but slowly pass as good. Next step come automatic I dont know how – so I think step by step but you must start with tights that is now womens special part of dressing but also some way unisex try to go together in shoping ture.

[heatherdress]

Go slow. Try to learn why she is against your CDing? Provide appropriate and truthful assurances. Be honest. Go slow. Try to provide some benefits for her (maybe dress as the maid and do some chores - but make it fun). Go slow. Try to make it fun. Go slow. Give her gifts when you dress.

[RADER]

Maybe that's why my wife is so unaccepting? 13 year old mini-van! lol

Aw come on Karren, Dig into that big old
purse and get the wife a new car, Maybe a "Volt" real good on gas.
Rader

[Momarie]

I'm glad that you talked about this more in depth and you and your wife have come to a compromise for now.

But, a word of advice ... as long as your wife is "iffy" about this, I wouldn't be asking her to dress you as a princess, even if she gets makeup as a reward. Trust me, if a woman feels queasy about her husband's CDing, she will only grow to resent it more if she engages in behaviors before she feels ready to do so in her heart.

Please, PLEASE listen to Reine,

She speaks for everyone here, ALWAYS!

She is so wise in these matters and if you would just listen and apply her sage advice, it will all be ok!

[Teri Ray]

I agree with the take the pace your wife sets idea. Sounds great that your wife is willing to take a step but be careful not to push her for more than she is willing to accept.

Or you can do what Karenn suggests and buy her a car.

[Allsteamedup]

Can you give a bit more insight into the 'princess' idea?

Do you really mean a net-skirted dress, probably pink, with a satin bodice, a tiara in your hair and a sparkly wand, with shiny shoes?
Or does your princess look different than this?
This would look more like fancy dress than cding. What did you have in mind?

Your wife might find this difficult. It might be harder than you suppose to make you a convincing princess. This is the usual aspiration of little girls about 5yrs old.

[Beverley Sims]

You are making progress, wait for about another year before any great leaps forward.

[NicoleScott]

There's a problem with sharing crossdressing desires with the wife.
On the one hand, come clean with her, telling her everything you can about your desires to dress, how you wish to express yourself, go out, meet other cd's, post pics online, shave the body, underdress, feminize the face/body, etc. plus answering the usual questions (gay, become a woman, etc). Honest, but might this freak her out?
On the other hand, slow down, wait for partial acceptance before pushing it to the next level. Not so drastic, but is it honest?

[GaleWarning]

There's a problem with sharing crossdressing desires with the wife.
On the one hand, come clean with her, telling her everything you can about your desires to dress, how you wish to express yourself, go out, meet other cd's, post pics online, shave the body, underdress, feminize the face/body, etc. plus answering the usual questions (gay, become a woman, etc). Honest, but might this freak her out?
On the other hand, slow down, wait for partial acceptance before pushing it to the next level. Not so drastic, but is it honest?

No, Nicole, it's called politics.
:)

[NicoleScott]

No, Nicole, it's called politics.
:)

Yes, it is. But it may be kicking the can down the road. Sometimes that's where politics get us. The day of reckoning can be sooner, or it can be later.