Barbara Ella
09-08-2012, 09:08 PM
Two weeks ago, i just knew that Barbara was in deep trouble, and might be going into exile. My wife had an emotional slip and we spent Sunday night awake, crying, and talking about her feelings and hurts. It all boiled down to she felt we needed to discuss the options for our future. Immediately my mind leapt to - either she is leaving or dressing will be curtailed. She never said this, but in my mind these were the options for our future given her state.
Our understanding at that moment was that I could dress when she was not around, and if I wanted to go out, I would leave town, get a room, dress, and go out in the other town. My cross dressing would remain our secret.
She did not want to talk about our future until after some family events that needed our undivided attention during September. Needless to say, I had a terrible two weeks of uncertainty, and had even begun pricing apartments.
Yesterday, we were walking through the mall with our grandson and his aunt. Daughter remarked, as we passed Victoria's Secret that he should not look in there. My wife looked at me and said and you better stop looking too. In my state of mind I panicked and felt that I had dome something obvious, and this was another thing I would get yelled at. I went pale and my knees buckled. We kept walking.
That evening we talked, and she agreed that we should talk about the options for our future now. I explained my feelings and my thoughts that I really had no idea what she meant by options for our future.
It turns out she had become very insecure about the agreements that we had set up for our activities. She did not want to change them, but she went to a really black place because of this insecurity. All she needed was reassurance that our situation was still in place, and I was not contemplating going out in our town and driving around our neighborhood dressed. She is extremely paranoid about our friends and family learning because she fears people in the community would act against our children and their families.
We talked about cross dressing, my desires and future plans or lack thereof. She is still very supportive of my dressing, but can't participate, but wants me to be happy - without shocking her into a breakdown. She says that if she comes home early on my dressing days that I am to remain dressed, and she will sit and talk, hold my hand, even kiss me before going up to the bedroom while I stay dressed.
Ladies, do not put off discussing any issues (which, yes we all have) with your wife. It does no good for both of you to be making up scenarios in your mind that have nothing do to with reality. Do not wait for the right time. The right time is right now.
I sit here right now a very relieved person. I never want to be that scared again, so there will be constant reassurances and communications about what I am doing, or feel like doing. She can handle that, she cannot handle not knowing, she sees that now. DADT can do more harm than good, so be careful.
Barbara
Our understanding at that moment was that I could dress when she was not around, and if I wanted to go out, I would leave town, get a room, dress, and go out in the other town. My cross dressing would remain our secret.
She did not want to talk about our future until after some family events that needed our undivided attention during September. Needless to say, I had a terrible two weeks of uncertainty, and had even begun pricing apartments.
Yesterday, we were walking through the mall with our grandson and his aunt. Daughter remarked, as we passed Victoria's Secret that he should not look in there. My wife looked at me and said and you better stop looking too. In my state of mind I panicked and felt that I had dome something obvious, and this was another thing I would get yelled at. I went pale and my knees buckled. We kept walking.
That evening we talked, and she agreed that we should talk about the options for our future now. I explained my feelings and my thoughts that I really had no idea what she meant by options for our future.
It turns out she had become very insecure about the agreements that we had set up for our activities. She did not want to change them, but she went to a really black place because of this insecurity. All she needed was reassurance that our situation was still in place, and I was not contemplating going out in our town and driving around our neighborhood dressed. She is extremely paranoid about our friends and family learning because she fears people in the community would act against our children and their families.
We talked about cross dressing, my desires and future plans or lack thereof. She is still very supportive of my dressing, but can't participate, but wants me to be happy - without shocking her into a breakdown. She says that if she comes home early on my dressing days that I am to remain dressed, and she will sit and talk, hold my hand, even kiss me before going up to the bedroom while I stay dressed.
Ladies, do not put off discussing any issues (which, yes we all have) with your wife. It does no good for both of you to be making up scenarios in your mind that have nothing do to with reality. Do not wait for the right time. The right time is right now.
I sit here right now a very relieved person. I never want to be that scared again, so there will be constant reassurances and communications about what I am doing, or feel like doing. She can handle that, she cannot handle not knowing, she sees that now. DADT can do more harm than good, so be careful.
Barbara