Totally friggin' outed now

[johanna.kitten]

Perhaps this should be more in the TS section, but having read the description I put it here.

There is only the one person that does not know about what I am. (CD+desire to transition m2f), and I have not told this person as I know it would not go down to well.

So, 3 hours ago I got an sms alert from my website and I checked the access being made and hacked into the system that made the access and it turned out to be this person's laptop. I have no idea of how to handle this, at the moment I just blocked lots of IP address ranges that originates from the same provider for the time being.

So depressed now it is not funny...
/Giovanna

[NathalieX66]

Hmm.
Does this jeopardize your job situation or business?
If not. Who cares.
My parents have now seen my girl pics . They still love me just the same. .even though they don't say much. Lately they, just act more affectionate.
My friends have seen my pics, they still love me just the same. I get the occasional crack, and I am ok with that.

Innocent people are dying in Afghanistan and Syria, there's famine, violent militias and AIDS in Africa , and we worry about trivial things like dressing in womens' clothes.........who cares.
Really.

[johanna.kitten]

Not ever going to bother me at any job as I will rock up en femme - I only got 3 pieces of men's left, no men's shoes no more. There is a reason I never told this person... We don't meet to often these days and do not live in the same country but we're still very close.

I am aware of the troubles around us, having seen lots of it close up.

/Giovanna

[kimdl93]

It seems you need to clear the air with this person.

[johanna.kitten]

It seems you need to clear the air with this person.

Easier said than done, it was my intention to not ever let this person know as I know too well it would not be tolerated that I want my transition. It is someone I known for almost all my life. Even when I was put in prison this person got upset.

Hugs
/Giovanna

[kimdl93]

Well I can see a person being upset about someone being imprisoned. Does this person have a measure of influence in your life?

[Lorileah]

Easier said than done, it was my intention to not ever let this person know as I know too well it would not be tolerated that I want my transition. It is someone I known for almost all my life. Even when I was put in prison this person got upset.


so if you transition what are you going to do? Pretend to not? Either this person likes you and wants to be part of your life or they are dead wood. It does not sound like a friend, it does not sound like someone who really cares about you (they were hacking you FGS). As we say out west time to fish or cut bait.

[kellycan27]

If that person was the last to know... you're on your way! Sometimes a little "push" can be a good thing. If you are in deed planing to transition.... people are going to find out, even the ones we'd rather not.

[johanna.kitten]

This person has influence on my life and had for quite some time. It so happens this person also suffer from a terminal illness with perhaps not too long time left to fight it, it was my hopes that I never had to break the news so to speak. The only genuine reason I still keep one set of men's clothes is to still have the option to attend that last farewell (which will be a major thing - very popular person, lotsa friends etc.).

Hugs
/Giovanna

[ReineD]

If this person (for simplicity's sake I'll use "she") was determined enough to find out the truth about you by discovering your site (how would this be possible?), then it must mean that she needs to know, especially if she does not have long to live.

You might reconsider telling her the truth.

Are you sure it was her laptop? Does she live alone or might there be a chance that someone you both know was with her and used her laptop without her knowledge?

[johanna.kitten]

If this person (for simplicity's sake I'll use "she") was determined enough to find out the truth about you by discovering your site (how would this be possible?), then it must mean that she needs to know, especially if she does not have long to live.

You might reconsider telling her the truth.

Are you sure it was her laptop? Does she live alone or might there be a chance that someone you both know was with her and used her laptop without her knowledge?

I have gained more confidence the latest so I have outed myself more and more on my site and even here. This person is not experienced with computers so it could have been someone else using it and then I'm sure it was to show my site. Ah, this person does live with another person, this other person has no interest in me in any way. I'm sure I hit the right laptop, have even cross checked IP addresses in email from this person.

Better come clean then I guess, but it needs to be done in person, means I have to fly out of the country.

/Giovanna

[Jill Devine]

so if you transition what are you going to do? Pretend to not? Either this person likes you and wants to be part of your life or they are dead wood. It does not sound like a friend, it does not sound like someone who really cares about you (they were hacking you FGS). As we say out west time to fish or cut bait.
Not wanting to make light of a real problem, I also found this strange. How does one transition and keep it a secret. Not possible.

If one wants to REALLY transition then you need to deal with 100% of the people. There is no hiding.

[Beverley Sims]

This PERSON is going to find out and will have to accept the situation.
They are already suspicious and a little dishonest in the way they are going around trying to find out.

[Sarasometimes]

Is there a reason you can't share the reltionship with those here? We could help more if we had more details. Good luck!

[TxKimberly]

u
If that person was the last to know... you're on your way! Sometimes a little "push" can be a good thing. If you are in deed playing to transition.... people are going to find out, even the ones we'd rather not.

I'd say that Kelly just cut right to the heart of the matter!

[Kaz]

I'm confused. This 'person', she, as Reine suggests, has been on your website... on which you are being more open about yourself... If you have a website, it is accessible to everyone, unless you have a lock down intranet arrangement... so all 'she' has to do is a google search and she will find you. So now she knows... maybe

The IP address may be a red herring... does she have a fixed IP, is it located to the computer or the network relay? My IP will only show the network and not the individual computer... just a thought...

But... if you are now out to the last person... I would just say 'Fate' has intervened and I am now free!

[johanna.kitten]

Not wanting to make light of a real problem, I also found this strange. How does one transition and keep it a secret. Not possible.

If one wants to REALLY transition then you need to deal with 100% of the people. There is no hiding.

This person a) live in another country b) has possibly not long time left and c) I don't even meet this person once a year... it is also the only one I'd like to keep this a secret from - everybody else in my environment knows. Keep in mind I'm in the earliest of stages - only 10 months on HRT.

/Giovanna


But... if you are now out to the last person... I would just say 'Fate' has intervened and I am now free!

Yeah, perhaps it all took care of itself :) , I'm reasonably open to this forum too... like I have legally changed my name.

Kaz, I do lock down quite a lot of IP address ranges and domains and quite a few bots. The IP corresponds well with what I have found in email. The person is just barley able to send email and perhaps some other simple things on the net, something "harder" like booking a flight would be a problem. Don't think it ever occurred to this person to ever search for me. I guess I don't need t worry no more - kinda looking forward to the next telephone conversation.

/Giovanna

[bridget thronton]

Being a bit cynical here - if it is on the Web someone will find it. I am sorry this is causing you great distress. I hope it resolves with a positive outcome.

[Stephenie S]

Well, IMHO, if it's a "secret" then it's not a transition. You can't transition in secret. But we are in the crossdressing section. Is that your secret? You are a crossdresser? But you talked about transition. I am confused.

??
Stephie

[johanna.kitten]

Hehe - it is not the worst that have happened to me. :) Now, this person I'm on can hardly point IE at Google, so I never expected this. I have no problem telling every man and is dog what I am, but I wanted to spare this person from knowing as it would not be easy for this person to come to terms with. So far I am doing my best to present myself as female, and here in the UK I hear it takes some 4.5 years to transition (NHS), some say it is faster, me being 10 months on HRT have a long way to go and I thought this person would prolly not be around to see the result anyway.

Hugs
/Giovanna

[cyndigurl45]

Not wanting to make light of a real problem, I also found this strange. How does one transition and keep it a secret. Not possible.

If one wants to REALLY transition then you need to deal with 100% of the people. There is no hiding.Well that's not entirely true, if you walk away from everything, and I mean absolutely everything and start over 100% and that start over as a woman then you have hidden it.



I have a T shirt. ........

[johanna.kitten]

I have a T shirt. ........

Could you print us one, please?! ;)

It should be real easy for me to walk away as well, but I'd still keep some of my friends. Got no family really, my mother was a working girl that overdosed, hence her profession my father is unknown but I hear I have three older sisters that I never met and I don't know their names or whereabouts. Not too much to hold on to really...

Hugs
/Giovanna

[kellycan27]

Hehe - it is not the worst that have happened to me. :) Now, this person I'm on can hardly point IE at Google, so I never expected this. I have no problem telling every man and is dog what I am, but I wanted to spare this person from knowing as it would not be easy for this person to come to terms with. So far I am doing my best to present myself as female, and here in the UK I hear it takes some 4.5 years to transition (NHS), some say it is faster, me being 10 months on HRT have a long way to go and I thought this person would prolly not be around to see the result anyway.

Hugs
/Giovanna

I am betting that this person has a lot more pressing matters that they are dealing with... If it were me, finding out that a friend was TS would be the last thing that I would be worrying about.

[Kittie]

You're talking about transition; if you are close, sooner or later this person would have found out so - Roll with it. Life is too short to be cowering in the shadows, even if it's just with one person.

Take a read of the quote in my signature! :angel:

[johanna.kitten]

I am betting that this person has a lot more pressing matters that they are dealing with... If it were me, finding out that a friend was TS would be the last thing that I would be worrying about.

Perhaps this is correct, I just look at this out of my own perspective. And - Lacey - I might admit that in my case I have to let people know at some point, but I still have quite some way to go.

/Giovanna - watching "Just like a woman"...

[AllieSF]

Johanna, I clearly understand your position and desires. It is your life and you need to follow your own instincts. Hopefully, everything will work out for the best. It is nice to see that when you really do need to be selfish to transition and focus on what is important to you, you still have feelings on how knowledge of your transition may negatively impact someone important to you, when it probably isn't that important that that person find out. I respect your wishes and wish you the best of luck in this situation and in your overall transition. It sounds like you have it under control.

[johanna.kitten]

Johanna, I clearly understand your position and desires. <METASNIP> It sounds like you have it under control.

Hmm, I am not really in a hurry but it takes way too long time, wish I had more time spending on this - there is so much to be done and learned. I want my voice training, acting and all dealt with. Still useless with makeup - lack of time to practice.

Ah... and it is legally Giovanna now :)
/Giovanna