Would you stop if you could?

[Joanne_2003]

If you could stop crossdressing would you? I just realized that if I could stop and never be tempted again I wouldn't. I enjoy the feeling of wearing womens intimate foundation wear and I am much happier while I'm wearing it and for several days after if I had to go without wearing any for some reason. I don't need to fully dress but I do need to wear my bras, girdles and pantyhose etc.

Not only do I need to but I truly enjoy every minute I wear them (so much so that I sleep in them on several occassions).

[Eileen]

The only change I want to make is to be a full time woman. It is who I am and I will not be totally happy until I am Eileen full time.

[Maria2004]

I realized I couldn't stop so I didn't. I love the "outter" wear, the dresses the shoes, etc I find the underwear useless and uncomfortable :cool: for a genetic male. I also don't wish to become a full time female. Being either full time male or female leaves me feeling just "half" alive, I need both to be whole.

Love Maria

[emmicd]

I've tried to stop and went through the purging scene a few times only to come back and buy all over again.

It seems to be a part of the crossdresser's makeup(no pun intended).

It seems unlikely that I will stop.

emmi

[Jesse69]

I wish I never started so I could have a great social life and career. I've purged / stopped 2 to 3 times.

My only compensation is enjoying wearing nice womens clothes. I guess if I stopped now I wouldn't purge, I'd just stop buying stuff and pack everything into the garage. A lot of my stuff would fit a girlfriend or wife too - so no need to purge again.

[GypsyKaren]

I've tried to stop many times over the years, but now I know it's who I am, so I'll never make that mistake again.I love going out dressed, I feel so free. It doesn't bother me even when I know I've been made. If people don't like it, I say screw them. It's more important to satisfy myself than some total stranger, so I just go about my business with a smile on my face.

GypsyKaren

[michellejean]

why would i want to stop .,,,,thats like would i want to cut off my arm or leg or any other part of my body.,,HELL NO .it is apart of me ,,,and with out it i might as well lay down and die .....and guess what i have still got a hell of alot of liveing to do.,, and MOST of it AS A WOMAN and to hell with those that don,t like it.they can kiss my texas a---- .michellejean(mrs.highheels):) :thumbsup: :p :D ;)

[Angela Burke]

No,
I can't remember a time when I didn't want to dress as a girl, and I can't forsee a time when I wont.
I always wear some item of famale clothing even if its just a pair of panties and a skirt.
I absolutely love wearing female clothing!

Love Angela XX

[Tabathasiren]

No Way! Would miss the FUN!:thumbsup:

[Stephanie]

There were several years that I DID give up my cd-ing because I was extremely fearful of rejection by my then-girlfriend now current wife but I have found that, after I came out to my wife this past Spring, I am really a lot happier having crossdressing in my life than not having it at all. Crossdressing seems to make me happy (even my wife notices it) and content in a way that I can't quite explain and I suspect that my complete lack of crossdressing for the previous 4 years was partly to blame for the vague and lingering feelings of unhappiness and lack of "completeness" I felt during those few years that I didn't crossdress at all. This isn't to say that I haven't, at times, wondered if my life would be easier if I just gave up my crossdressing, especially in light of some of the fights that my wife and I have had over it during the past few months but now that I'm fully out to my wife and she has reached a moderate level of acceptance of it, I can't foresee any reason for me to WANT to give it up ever again.

[DawnRodgers]

Don't want to stop. Never could. The only way I could possibly stop crossdressing is if I transitioned and then could dress totally as a woman. That would be nice,
Dawn

[Deborah]

Wanting to stop would be like admitting that what i do is wrong.......;)

No it isn't imho.

[susiej]

Joanne,

I just thought of one sure way to get me to stop crossdressing.

Just wave your magic wand, and turn me into a 22-year-old girl. If you do that, I promise absolutely faithfully, I'll never wear clothes of the opposite sex again :) !

Hugs,
Susie

[crossing_over]

yes..... i wish i never had these feelings...... i enjoy it yes.... but think about it..... if i never had these feelings, i wouldnt be miserable about it at times...... id be normal and wouldnt have to worry about being looked down upon..... but dont get me wrong.... i enjoy it nevertheless

[Carole]

I think that if we were able to simply stop indulging in our 'hobby' then we probably would not have started in the first place. Dressing is a part of you from conception and is not something that we can turn on and off at will. How many of you have felt really down and miserable after a period of enforced denial?

[Rachael R]

I guess I am probably living proof that you can stop although in my case it has been forced on me due to other circumstances.

After my wife and I split (IN 1981) I began going out in public after attending several Lee Brewster parties in NYC. The circle of friends I ran with had me going out day and night to all sorts of venues. I was still young and even though I passed well, I wasn't 100% perfect. I did get read occasionally. Going out in public was like giving a junkie drugs, I couldn't get enough.

Due to job commitments and money considertions, I only traveled to NYC every 6wk to 2 months. I rarely dressed at home after that because I wanted to be around people when I dressed and going out in my home area (small town)was something I was unwilling to do at the time.

In the 1990 time frame, I moved to another part of the state and began going to local gay bars for my public outings. I began going out every Friday and Saturday night.

In the late nineties my daughter (who didn't know about my being TG) lost her job and apartment, needed a place to live. Wanting to be a good father,I let her move into my 1 bedroom apt and put Rachael's clothes into storage. She was there for alost 2 years!!!!

About the time my daughter moved out, I contracted some medical problems which have since disabled me. Some days I'm barely able to walk and some of the medications that have been prescribed for me (prednisone especially) have caused me to gain so much weight that I just refuse to be "that elderly fat lady".

With all that being said, there isn't a dya or even hour that goes by, without me thinking about my TGism and wanting and wishing that I could dress. I keep hoping that some miraculous cure will come down the road and I can find the "fountain of youth" so that I can do it all over again.

I've joined the group here so that I could mainain contact with the community and offer some of you the benefit of my own experience.

[cathy b]

Nope.

[Gemma Rhodes]

NO

Gemma xx

[Raychel]

If I had to I think that I could stop. I wouldn't like it very much and the desire would always be there. But if necessary I could (maybe):confused:

[KatieZ]

If you could stop crossdressing would you?


Yes, but unfortunatly I find it necessary at times to wear boys clothes. So I have to keep my secret stash of male clothes around. :D



Hugs

[Shelly Preston]

Yes I think I could stop.

I imagine it would be like trying to get people off drugs or alcohol.

Extremely difficult.

Sometimes its the circumstances that change, which can make it easier.

Only thing is, I have never really tried to stop.

Hopefully, I will never have to tackle that problem.

[Tiffy]

Not sure I could quit. Tried it once and it did not work. And now I would not quit even if I could. Worked to hard to be ok with doing to quit now.

Kisses, April Marie

[TGMarla]

The answer is no, but it's a tougher question than it sounds. Crossdressing can be an obsessive behavior, and as a result, often manifests itself like an addiction. I don't much like the thought of the "monkey on my back", but I admit that it's there. As much as I enjoy doing it, crossdressing has at times caused me intense frustration, due to the fact that I feel a bit "ripped off" that I was not actually born female, and thus have been denied the right to wear clothing like this any time I feel like it. Furthermore, the compulsion to dress has at times caused me to manipulate my situation in order to find some time alone solely for the purpose of dressing, sometimes at the expense of doing things that I ought to be doing, or seeing people I ought to go see. It has interfered with my ablility to get things done that I really ought to do.

It's difficult even to admit this. But crossdressing has been something of a burden to me at times. But on the other hand, it has brought to me a facet of my being that I might otherwise have missed altogether. We all have aspects of the masculine and feminine in us. But it is the feminine aspect of me that allows me to see and appreciate more deeply the beauty, the color, and the emotion of the world around me. It has awakened a deep spiritualism in me that might otherwise be dormant. It has allowed me to become a better soul. Sometimes, I feel more alive when dressed than I do at any other time. And I would not give that up for anything.

So, as I stated, it is a difficult question, but I always arrive at the same answer, which is "No".

[Katie Ashe]

I would have to say, NO. I have tried most of my life to ignore Katie. She is simply a part of me, and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't want to go back to being miserable.

[SandraInHose]

Although I do not want to stop, I would if I could simply for my wife. She has been through a lot with this side of me, and although she knows it'll never go away, she still hopes it does someday. Also, I'd never want my kids to find out, either.

"I would if I could" out of my love for them, but boy, would I miss it!!!! :(

[Wendy me]

why stop ???? i enjoy dressing andwe do tend to do a lot of things we don't want to do because we have to ....so why not do something we want to do that we enjoy????

[Adele 2005]

I suppose the response hangs on why you crossdress.

The question was:

"If you could stop crossdressing would you?"

If you mean with a click of the fingers, all the inner turmoil, depression, frustration, self-disgust, and even anger over how I don't identify with my body, since a child, could just be spirited away: then 'YES'. Frankly, it would be a blessed release.

[Kath]

Yes, but unfortunatly I find it necessary at times to wear boys clothes. So I have to keep my secret stash of male clothes around. :D
Hugs

Kudos to KatieZ for a great sense of humor and perspective. A bit subtle and very nice.

Like someone said before I wish it had never started. However, at my ripe old age I know I can't stop it so I just try to enjoy what I do now.

Kath

[sandra_lag]

Only a word. NO

:)

[Phoebe Reece]

NO. I have too many good friends that I would never have met if it were not for the crossdressing. This is a fun part of my life that I would never willingly walk away from.

[Erica Lauren James]

Absolutely NOT. But I have to agree with TGMarla that it does impede me from doing and getting things that I should be doing done. I just do as many as I can as Kiera.

Kiera

[Rachel Morley]

What? ... if I could take a pill and I wouldn't want to any more? Are kidding me? ... I'm having way too much fun! :D

[HaleyPink2000]

NO

I would not take a magic pill either to stop. LOL!

Haley:)

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Definitely having way too much fun!

[Deanna2]

I have no desire to want to stop XDing. I wear the so called intimate apparell all day, every day. It's the outer gear, like skirts, cute little tops and heels that I wish I could wear more often.

[gina13]

There was a time I thought that I would probably just outgrow these needs to indulge in my feminine side. Now I know that my feminine side has outgrown those feelings. Yes it is like an addiction. Yes it sometimes complicates my life. Nevertheless, as Marla so eloquently stated...
" I would not give it up for anything" Embracing the feminine has rewarded me with so many positive thoughts, feelings, and personal insights that denying this part of myself would be a tragic loss to my life experience.
The answer is definitely NO!
xoxoxo

[MandyTS]

Let me take the TS intersex route.

I don't in me understand the idea of crossdressing. I never really understood the reasons that a non transexual / or intersexed person would want to go out and try and pass, etc. That said I have no desire to wear 5 inch heels, stockings, tuck, etc, I wear stuff that any GG my age could wear. As I meet crossdressers I feel kind of evious in a way, you can control wearing of clothing, you can take off the makeup and be a guy, and live as a guy, not wanting to be a woman.

I am a woman, I never was a guy. Many of you may never really understand that. I wish everyday that I did not have to try and understand myself and I could be normal (a normal GG or guy it does not matter). God made me this way, ambigious and I am happy trying to find who in me is right, and for that person it is a girl, it has always been and that won't change.

I have said I would not wish what I have on anyone else and I stand to that. If there is someway that I could forget all of this and live and understand the life of one of the other I would in a second. That may sound strange for people who are CD only, but that is reality. I hope that through transistioning I will be close enough to my perfered sex that I will be 100% happy, although for intersexed people that is almost never the case. Even a 95% with a few regrets I will be much happier once this is over... approaching as normal of a life as I could ever have.

Over time the pendilum shifts, I become more and more confortable as myself, a girl. Someday it will get to the point where going out as a girl easier than a guy (I think visable breasts will help that). I think being a guy is too comfortable if you will. Hormones will change me, like a teenager going through their first puberty. I am lucky that the ravaging effects of testosterone have not had an opportunity to take hold very much. Everyday passing is a far away goal, but to go out and be myself is most important right now...

Mandy

[Melissacd63]

No, I´ve tried it many times, though. Threw everything away and missed it so much that I bought a completely new wardrobe again and then I purged again and bought etc.....
I can´t live without it although it is difficult at times, but I like it so much. I feel so happy when I buy new clothes and lingerie. As I live alone - although I do have a girl-friend - I even always wear a nighty.
So I´m hooked forever I think. I feel so much comfortable in women´s clothing, I don´t know why, but it´s a fact.

Hugs

Melissa

[Maddie]

there is like a snowball's change in hell

[Jamie M]

If i honestly thought that i could , then Yes without hesitation . i know what i do has an affect on those that i love and those around me . If i could just live the one life , if i could not have this secret , if i could not have to spend all this time on two wardrobes , i would . I HATE what this can do to kelly sometimes , she tries but it's very hard on her and i just want to give her the best life i can.

but many years or purging of self denial of lots of lots of tears i know now that this is me , it's like denying i need to breathe to live. So unfortunatey i don't believe it's my choice . I could stop wearing the clothes but that wouldn't stop me being a CD so i just have to live with it the best way i can .

[darcyann]

Hello

Never in a million years.


Love

Darcy Ann

[MsEva]

The answer is no, but it's a tougher question than it sounds. Crossdressing can be an obsessive behavior, and as a result, often manifests itself like an addiction. I don't much like the thought of the "monkey on my back", but I admit that it's there. As much as I enjoy doing it, crossdressing has at times caused me intense frustration, due to the fact that I feel a bit "ripped off" that I was not actually born female, and thus have been denied the right to wear clothing like this any time I feel like it. Furthermore, the compulsion to dress has at times caused me to manipulate my situation in order to find some time alone solely for the purpose of dressing, sometimes at the expense of doing things that I ought to be doing, or seeing people I ought to go see. It has interfered with my ablility to get things done that I really ought to do.

It's difficult even to admit this. But crossdressing has been something of a burden to me at times. But on the other hand, it has brought to me a facet of my being that I might otherwise have missed altogether. We all have aspects of the masculine and feminine in us. But it is the feminine aspect of me that allows me to see and appreciate more deeply the beauty, the color, and the emotion of the world around me. It has awakened a deep spiritualism in me that might otherwise be dormant. It has allowed me to become a better soul. Sometimes, I feel more alive when dressed than I do at any other time. And I would not give that up for anything.

So, as I stated, it is a difficult question, but I always arrive at the same answer, which is "No".

:iagree:
Couldn't have put it better Marla...so wise. If I could take a pill to cure me I would do it in a hearbeat. It is a tough row to hoe. But that being said unfortunatly this is me. It is a part of me, and the femme side of me..sensitive et al is part of what endeared my DW to me. So, I guess I should stop griping about it. I sort of like Eva, she is a kind, sweet and sensitive person you would probably like to have as a dear friend. At least my dear wife thinks so..

[Bonnie D]

My answer would have to be NO, but then as was previously said, it is not as easy a question to answer as it first it seems. If it just suddenly happened would I be relieved that I didn't have to live like this any more with the secrecy and double life. I'm sure I would be relieved. It would have to be like getting a lobotomy, I couldn't have any urge to crossdress or any desire to be feminine and not to able to miss that part of me. I've been this way all my life, I've been two people. I would have to be completely removed from my male self and disappear into oblivion.

But then that's not going to happen. So I will always crossdress, I have never tried to stop and I'm not going to in the future. The question will be the frequency. If I stay with my wife, it will be infrequent, if I leave to live on my own, it will be quite frequent and I will go out en femme. Which I don't do now except for my one and only time while in another city.

So my answer is No because I can't and won't.

Bonnie

[Charlene Marie]

I had to stop for a 18 month period, so I could take care of my Mother In Law. I was happy to help her because she was a wonderful person and I did love her. But I was completely miserable, only being able to dress for very short periods of time, and only once every few months. If I don't dress at least twice a week now I get very agitated. If I could dress every day, I would in a heart beat.

[rosiewanttobe]

I had stopped for many years. I tried to convice myself that it was just a phase I went through when I was young. The problem is the the desire never left me. Now that I'm older I want to restart all the more. So no I would not stop again I enjoy womens clothes to much. It a very real part of me.
Rosie

[Ellaine]

For the aggravation it has caused with my Son, who cannot deal with it.
For the "pity" I get from my Daughter, who loves me to bits.
For the worries my suportive Wife harbours, that the neighbours will find out or I may take things "too far".
For the years of not answering the door to friends.
For the years of "Why me?" feelings.
For being alienated from my previously gregarious and unguarded lifestyle.
For being unable to be selfish enough to say "sod it" I'll do as I please.

IF there were a cure yes, yes, yes I would like my life back.

I love my girly time, and all that goes with it, and going out dancing would be the icing on the cake.:D

But as we are "ifing" here, for all the delights of femininity and sensuality, without the true freedom to express myself fully, I'd take any magic pill, or vaccine.
It's been a costly,( and I don't mean money,) compulsion that I could have done without for 30yrs.


It's not me, it's the others :)

Ellaine

[KathrynW]

If you could stop crossdressing would you?
There are a lot of variables here. I think we've all "stopped" and maybe lived in denial for a period of time. But, eventually we all start cd-ing again.
Maybe the better question would be...
If you could lose the desire to crossdress completely and permanently forever,would you?
Speaking for myself, I'd say without question - Yes. It would make things a lot easier. Much less stress, anxiety, depression, etc.
Unfortunately, we don't have that choice to make. This desire is hard wired into our brains. It's like the Mafia..."you're in for life..." ;)

[fionablack]

Stopping the practice is not so hard. Stopping the urge is the tricky part. I have stopped dressing for years at a time, but during that time not a day past that I didn't think about it or want to do it.

The compulsion is overwhelming. That said, it is an enjoyable compulsion for me and I would not want to lose the pleasure of it. I enjoy the anticipation of cross dressing almost as much as the act. I enjoy admiring a beautiful woman in beautiful clothes and imagining those clothes on me.

I love the feeling of having just bought something new and lovely, and the excitement of not being able to wait to get home bacuase as soon as i get home the lovely new items will be on my body. That is such a powerful feeling.

In short, i don't want to stop, and i don't want the desire to stop.

[Stormgirl]

If you could stop crossdressing would you? I just realized that if I could stop and never be tempted again I wouldn't. I enjoy the feeling of wearing womens intimate foundation wear and I am much happier while I'm wearing it and for several days after if I had to go without wearing any for some reason. I don't need to fully dress but I do need to wear my bras, girdles and pantyhose etc.

Not only do I need to but I truly enjoy every minute I wear them (so much so that I sleep in them on several occassions).


Hell yes I'd stop if I could but then again you can't :rolleyes:

[Sarahgurl371]

I have to agree with Marla yet again. So well thought out and written.

I have given this much consideration in the past two or three years. It has caused devistating efeects on my wife, my marraige, and yes, even my self. If I could wake up and never think about it again? To wake up and feel like I think a regular guy feels? To never have to worry about the fear of being outed? To have not had the anxiety and guilt I have had over the past 20 years? It would be a tough call.

While CDing brings so much joy, escape, and peace, to me, it certainly brings alot of other stuff.

On the other hand, If I could wake up tomarrow a GG, and live my life, would I do that?

I still do not have the answers. However, I think that the more I start to understand and accept myself, the smaller and smalller the negative effects of CDing will be evident in my life, and maybe I will really be fine with being a CD.

[JennyCD]

If there was something that would take the desire away and make me feel totally "normal", yes I would.

I purged almost a year ago. Totally. Did the desire leave? No. I am still in that purge, but I feel it is coming to an end whether I want it to or not. It's a part of who I am whether I want it to be or not.

[gennee]

:)
No. I feel so complete. I believe we are a dichotomy of two people (or more): where we are now and what we would like to be. I love being a male and I love being Gennee, too. All the fun and sense of anticipation would be lost if i was Gennee full time. I can't stop because I am part of a unique and beautiful community.:love:


Gennee:)

[KathrynW]

If there was something that would take the desire away and make me feel totally "normal", yes I would.

I purged almost a year ago. Totally. Did the desire leave? No. I am still in that purge, but I feel it is coming to an end whether I want it to or not. It's a part of who I am whether I want it to be or not.
Jenny~
I think you've pretty well summed up exactly how I feel here...;)

[ginafaye]

no of course not..........its a part of who i am

[Stephanie Brooks]

I know I've answered before, but given how times change and all, here's my answer.

No no no no no. Never.

[CutieJulie]

No, I tried to stop once did so for about a year totally renounced my female side grew a goatee and tried and hoped it would all go away (this was like 5 years ago.) towrds the end of that year i was suicidal. And i had to make a choice Dress like a girl or hang myself in the bathroom.. Needless to say i'm still here.

[BrendaChristine]

Wanting to stop would be like admitting that what i do is wrong.......;)

No it isn't imho.

:iagree:

[Joanne_2003]

If we take the question one step further, stop MTF crossdressing, or being a GG? Personnally I would only stop if I could've chosen to be a gg at birth. I know many will point out the grass is always greener on the other side, but... as a human being I truly feel better about me when I am dressed in the pretty silk, satin or nylon intimate wear available to women. For me it's not whether I am able to pass or not, its the feel of the material gently caressing my body, the slip and dress material swishing against my leg and the deep emotional feelings when I'm dressed.