Some observations and a couple of questions

[minalost]

First observation:

During a friendly banter match with my wife the other day she made a comment about not liking my hairless “privates” or, more specifically, saying she preferred hairy ones (Over the past year or so I’ve slowly began shaving and epilating away all the hair on my body (from the neck down anyway…). Her comments to date have been more on the order of “observations” than opinions or complaints). She wasn’t making a big deal about it, and she said it with a smile :D, but I’m sure she was serious.

Second observation:

It took me three months to erode my wife’s resistance to me getting my navel pierced (from “No Way!” to “Don’t come to me if you have problems…”).

Third observation:

My wife flat refuses to “let me” get my ears pierced. Sure, I could do it anyway, but I’ve decided to respect her position on this one.

First question:

Would I get the same degree of resistance to shaving, piercing (or for that matter wanting to wear woman’s jeans because they fit better) from my wife if I were not a cross dresser?

For example, my wife owns a number of men’s shirts and wears them without a second thought. They just happen to be a style and color that looks good on her. Nobody calls her a cross dresser. But if I were to tell her that I like a (insert feminine apparel here) and wanted to wear it in public (or ever in private) the fact that I am a cross dresser would, based on my observations, color her opinion.

Back to my specific examples above – all of these things are traditionally feminine forms of grooming or ornamentation; but more and more mainstream men (non-cross dressers…) are doing them. But being cross dresser seams to actually make it harder for me to get away with doing them, at least with regard to my wife.

Does anyone else feel that they have a harder time getting this type of thing past their SO just because they are a cross dresser?

Second question:

Do women actually find hairy privates attractive :devil:? Really:eek:?

[Diana L]

My wife feels the same way about the pierced ears. I believe that if I wasn't transgendered she would be ok with it. On the shaving, I have been clean shaven below the ears for several years and she hasn't said anything negative or positive. We just don't discuss it.

Diana L

[Ava Tryptyk]

I can't speak for what women find attractive in men, but I think a woman who is used to seeing hairy privates on men (especially on the man with whom she has been seeing) would naturally be surprised when the hair is gone. The hair gives a sense of familiarity, it's something that she's used to seeing and feeling. And I don't think it's something specific to the privates, either -- I think that if you had a decent amount of hair on your head and then you decided to go and shave your head bald, you would get similar "observational" comments from your wife.

From your post it sounds like your wife already knows that you are a crossdresser and that you have discussed it, but she isn't comfortable with you doing certain things. Sure, some men are doing the "metrosexual" thing and are getting feminine clothing or ornaments for that purpose, but if your wife already knows that you're a crossdresser, then it's obvious why you're doing it. As for her wearing men's clothes, it's just an unfortunate reality that it's more socially acceptable for women to wear something that a man would wear, than for men to wear something that a woman would wear.

With all that said, I'm a little surprised that your wife has agreed (albeit grudgingly) to you getting your navel pierced, but adamantly opposes you getting your ears pierced. Hordes of men (including men who are quite "macho") have pierced ears. Men with pierced navels, on the other hand, are a rarer sight nowadays, and are often associated with the gay community.

Edit: Also, about the ears - I think a big determining factor is the type of jewelry you're planning to get. If you go for something masculine or unisex rather than something unambiguously feminine, that may improve your chances. Though I can't promise anything.

[minalost]

From your post it sounds like your wife already knows that you are a crossdresser and that you have discussed it, but she isn't comfortable with you doing certain things. Sure, some men are doing the "metrosexual" thing and are getting feminine clothing or ornaments for that purpose, but if your wife already knows that you're a crossdresser, then it's obvious why you're doing it. As for her wearing men's clothes, it's just an unfortunate reality that it's more socially acceptable for women to wear something that a man would wear, than for men to wear something that a woman would wear.

With all that said, I'm a little surprised that your wife has agreed (albeit grudgingly) to you getting your navel pierced, but adamantly opposes you getting your ears pierced. Hordes of men (including men who are quite "macho") have pierced ears. Men with pierced navels, on the other hand, are a rarer sight nowadays, and are often associated with the gay community.

Edit: Also, about the ears - I think a big determining factor is the type of jewelry you're planning to get. If you go for something masculine or unisex rather than something unambiguously feminine, that may improve your chances. Though I can't promise anything.

Yes, she knows about my cross dressing and has seen me dressed a number of times. I don't think the type of earring would change her opinion on the ears - that hasn't even been part of the discussion.

[Wildaboutheels]

It's crystal clear to me, she has already made SOME compromises.We all have our various quirks about what we like and don't like or find "acceptable" on/in a mate. It's called taste. Probably flexible on some and completely inflexible on others. As you have seen.

FACT. There are plenty of women's jeans [I own 2 or 3 pairs] bought from my local Thrift store for about 2 bucks a pair] that offer no hints in any way shape or form that they are made for females. Just go buy some and remove the tags. IF they fit better and you like them.

1] She knows you are a CDer. Her antenna are up and most likely will always stay up because of it. Obviously is worried about what OTHERS may think so bases "what she will tolerate" on that.

2 From spending plenty of time on Dating sites I can tell you this. SOME women like bald heads. Might even prefer them. Some would not date a bald man for all the money in China. No ryme or reason to it. Easy to extrapolate that the same case could be made for hair "down there". We all like what we like.

[Kate Simmons]

To answer both of your questions, it really depends on the particular woman. While most are wired for thinking about things from a feminine perspective, not everyone reacts the same way to various things in life.:)

[GaleWarning]

Yes, there are some woman who prefer hairy men.
Trust me on this!
:o

[DonnaT]

Yes, some women find much of what we do harder to accept when they realize we are doing it because we are crossdressers.

My wife didn't mind my getting fully enfemme at her suggestion, until I told her why I liked it when she asked why. When I told her why, she did a 180° turn. She's made that turn a few times over the years.

As for hairy privates, maybe the hairless ones make them appear boyish to her?