Is there a term for someone who is attracted to males only while crossdressed?

[twistedkatie]

I'm aware that many men crossdress but still identify as straight through and through.

And I don't find the idea of a man and another man particularly appealing.

But when I'm crossdressed and (more importantly in a feminine frame of mind) I can imagine it because I am a female and its only natural at that point.

I also can imagine myself easily with another man who is crossdressed.

I know this is a common state of mind, but is there a term for it?

[NathalieX66]

um.....normal?

Not my thing, but it's pretty typical, and not that unusual.

Welcome to being just another garden variety species of transgender.

[Jenniferathome]

It's not a common state of mind. And the term is homosexual, in the case of a crossdressed male who is attracted to another male.

[KateSpade83]

Just look at Craigslist t4m section and you see a lot of these people. Rarely in Chicago do you see a pretty one. But Philippines Craigslist has quite a few very beautiful ladyboys but they all prostitutes because they're looking for a hookup and getting paid.

I think dressing up and messing with men is the wrong thing to do.

[NathalieX66]

It's not a common state of mind. And the term is homosexual, in the case of a crossdressed male who is attracted to another male.

Jennifer, the next time you are at any LGBT bar or club, you will notice that the majority of guys prefer guys, not guys prefer guys dressed as women, or transsexuals.
But CD'ers who prefer to be in the company of men, and men who are attracted to them do exist.

[Julie Gaum]

A little more complicated. Common for many hetero CDs en femme to want to be as feminine as possible and with that often comes the desire to have males become attracted (sign they have "passed"). Then most might fantasize but really have no desire to have sex, that is, not attracted to the same gender. Now, since most have a preference for ggs then those that wish to go further are actually bi-sexual.
Julie

[whowhatwhen]

I think dressing up and messing with men is the wrong thing to do. .

That isn't adultery unless they have a spouse who doesn't know she's out with men.
Also, practicing safe sex reduces the chances of contracting HIV - just as it would if it were heterosexual sex.

OP:
That sort of thing can only be answered with lots of inward reflection and thought.
It is fairly common, but for the record liking two guys being together isn't a prerequisite for being bi or gay.

Confusing as hell I know :P

[GeminaRenee]

Call it whatever you want. I guess if you need a term, I'd pick something like wardrobe-dependent selective bi-curiousity. Personally, I find myself attracted to other men only on Tuesdays, and only when I'm holding a donut in my left hand, and the temperature is in the 80's. Therefore, I'm a Tuesday-exclusive, fried dough-dependant octothermically activated bisexual. See how it works?

Frankly, all these labels are pretty silly. More than anything, they allow other people to make judgements about you. They allow other people to pigeon-hole you. You are what you are, and you're into what you're into - and there's nothing wrong with any of that. Just be yourself and be proud of who you are, and you won't have to rationalize same-sex curiosity with statements like "well, it's more natural if I'm dressed like a female...


I think dressing up and messing with men is the wrong thing to do. .

How is this adultery? Furthermore, if safe-sex practices are followed, the odds of contracting AIDS (or other STD's) are pretty insignificant. Also, sex toys are a pretty poor substitute for the real thing. To refer to crossdressers who "can't help doing this" is condescending, and implies that the act is somehow wrong - as if it's some kind of pathology. If that's your personal morality, why not keep it to yourself, rather than advise others on how they ought conduct their business?

[SuzieLod]

Wow, I should be surprised. People who belong to a minority group and are discriminated against because they are cross dresser or TG's discriminating against a subgroup that likes men?

But I am not.

Yes, if a CD or TG is attracted to men only he/she would be gay. If both men and women, then he/she would be bi. But discriminate? Look down on them? PLEASE!!!

[NathalieX66]

What do people in the psychological, medical, and academics field say about same sex attraction? Remember, Galileo Galilei was persecuted because his views of the universe contradicted those of the Vatican.....you know, planets that revolve around the sun, us being a mere speck in the Milky Way Galaxy. Scientists have determined that the Earth is 4.6 billion years old, not 6000 years old that some religious folk suggest

[whowhatwhen]

Wow, I should be surprised. People who belong to a minority group and are discriminated against because they are cross dresser or TG's discriminating against a subgroup that likes men?

But I am not.

Yes, if a CD or TG is attracted to men only he/she would be gay. If both men and women, then he/she would be bi. But discriminate? Look down on them? PLEASE!!!

Don't be.
We have several members here who are against equality, and it's really hard to wrap one's head around.

[Badtranny]

I know this is a common state of mind, but is there a term for it?

It's quite common and the term is bisexual.

Straight men don't fantasize about giving BJ's and neither do lesbians, but bisexual men and women sometimes do.

[Jessicaa]

I wouldnt do it, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with someone who wanted to experiment with their sexuality...isnt that what we are doing already?

[Tara D. Rose]

It's not a common state of mind. And the term is homosexual, in the case of a crossdressed male who is attracted to another male.
I think the term should be more like ,,bi sexual.

[whowhatwhen]

Just look at Craigslist t4m section and you see a lot of these people. Rarely in Chicago do you see a pretty one. But Philippines Craigslist has quite a few very beautiful ladyboys but they all prostitutes because they're looking for a hookup and getting paid.

I just noticed this little tidbit.
I assume you're browsing the t4m section to email all the girls telling them they're going to hell then?

That's okay, I await your coming out thread and apology to the LGBT community.

[GeminaRenee]

Maybe fornication might be the better word.

As for gay sex with men, there is a phrase in the BIBLE that says no practicing homosexual will enter Heaven. So it's not my morality, it's GOD'S.

Ah, a crusader with a bible! I see that there will be no reasoning with you. Carry on browsing the T4Ms then, good christian soldier! (:

[Marleena]

Katie to answer your original question it's called "bi when dressed" the topic comes up a lot in the CD section.

[Ressie]

Maybe fornication might be the better word.

As for gay sex with men, there is a phrase in the BIBLE that says no practicing homosexual will enter Heaven. So it's not my morality, it's GOD'S.

It would be better if you could show the book, chapter and verse before paraphrasing the bible. The bible is filled with 'don't be homosexual' messages, I just don't recall ever hearing that exact wording. But I don't want to derail this thread either :)

[drushin703]

twistedkatie: at what point does the "feminine frame of mine" which I consider crossdressing to be, become nothing more than a man wanting to be with
another man (homosexual??? dana.

[kellycan27]

How about heteroflexible? :battingeyelashes:

[whowhatwhen]

How about heteroflexible? :battingeyelashes:

I refuse to believe that's anything but a straight contortionist.

[docrobbysherry]

Oh my! This one is SO EASY! Fantasies and ancient religions aside, the answers r:

1. If you're a guy and u LIKE shwantz, you're gay!

2. You're a guy and u like opposite of shwantz, you're straight.

3. U like both shwantz and opposite of shwantz, it doesn't MATTER what gender u r! You're bi!

[whowhatwhen]

There's more to a man than just his doodle though :P
If you like penises but not men then that's just something for more careful reflection, it's not a race and there is no need to rush and over analyze things before you're ready.

An idea may be to look at pictures of guys, doesn't matter if they're naked or not and just see if you have a reaction.
It doesn't need to be gay porn either, hell, I'm attracted to guys but I'm not a fan of watching two guys hump either.

Good luck in your quest!
:)

[Kathi Lake]

Is there a term for this? Certainly! The term is denail. :)

If putting on a dress alters your sexual orientation, that is either one heck of a powerful dress, or you are one heck of a powerful compartmentalizer.

Kathi

[twistedkatie]

Lots of love, I never expected this large of a response so quickly! Most of you are wonderful, and I appreciate your kind support. I suppose either the blanket term bisexual or cross-bi would be best.

As for those of you telling me that your imaginary friend in the sky condemns my sexuality in a book written by wandering Jews thousands of years ago, and featuring rules about how to force your daughter to marry her rapist, and how to take slaves from neighboring tribes right before condemning homosexuality.... A big fat LOL at your expense. Any crossdresser who is a devout believer in the Christian bible needs to seriously examine the verses that talk about how it is shameful for a man to have 'long hair'. Really, I thought you were joking at first... But at best you're trolling. Religious thumping should really be moderated... I seriously can't believe someone would even DARE to condescend or decry someone elses lifestyle or preferences on a crossdressing forum.

[twistedkatie]

I think I like the 'bi when dressed' concept the best.

Thanks for this.

[Ava Tryptyk]

I agree with the posts saying that labels don't really matter when it comes to all of this. If you feel a special kinship with gays, bisexuals, or any other groups that have already been established, more power to you - go ahead and embrace the term of your choice. There are tons of debates on this forum about the term transgender itself, and people here for the most part agree to disagree and just use whichever terms they feel comfortable with.

You should probably define the type of attraction you feel. Do you feel a physical, sexual attraction to these men while you are in your feminine state? If so, is that attraction an attraction to the man's masculine features (plus the typical "manly" things like musky aftershave), or is it more of an excited feeling you get of playing the feminine role in a relationship (both physically and psychologically?) It's also interesting that you also would be interested in being with a man who is crossdressed - I'm guessing that you both would be crossdressed at the same time.

It's all confusing, but I wouldn't worry too much about the labels. Also, don't be offended or surprised by religious people - people of faith have the right to believe what they want to believe and their opinions are as valid as anyone else's. Don't let one comment by a religious person (every follower of a given religion has his/her own interpretation) tempt you to insult their entire religion. There are many people on this forum (outside of this thread) who are practicing Christians and are trying to find harmony between their religion and crossdressing, and these people may take offense at you referring to their God as an "imaginary friend in the sky."

[twistedkatie]

If you have a personal relationship with religion and a deity, that is lovely. Please enjoy it.

But the moment your religion attempts to tell me how I should live *my* life or how I'm wrong for not believing... It ceases to be a personal relationship with a deity and becomes open to debate. And I won't mince words: if you insist on telling me that your deity doesn't approve of my lifestyle, I will call it what it is: an imaginary friend that you hide behind because you are uncomfortable with your own loathing and hatred and need a symbol/label to rally behind.

"God hates gays."
"God hates people who eat pork."
"God hates women with short hair."
"God hates people who don't believe in him."

No, *you* (those spouting this nonsense) hate those things, and your God is just a shield you hide behind to justify your ridiculous beliefs.

And they will tell you, "My God doesn't hate, he loves."

And that sadly is what many branches of modern Christianity have become, hate masquerading as love.

Your personal relationship with your creator should be exactly that: personal.

[Ava Tryptyk]

There is a general tendency within groups and societies (including, but not limited to, religious societies) for the more bigoted, intolerant, and downright annoying members of a given group to be the most vocal, causing the entire group to be unfortunately associated with those annoying members. You've fallen into that trap. You could have simply written that "I don't follow the same religion as you do -- my beliefs allow me to do X." Instead, you openly attacked Christianity, a religion which quite a large number of posters on this forum follow. I'm not a religious person myself, but I don't support mocking other religions in an attempt to win an argument. You wanted to respond to Kate for her comment, but by mocking her religion you have potentially offended a much larger portion of the community on here.

Lastly, you mentioned trolling. I don't think Kate was trolling in this thread, but if you're familiar with the word "trolling", you are more than likely familiar with the rule of "not feeding the trolls". In your post you gave the alleged troll a nice savory feast.

[ReineD]

Is there a term for someone who is attracted to males only while crossdressed?

... And I don't find the idea of a man and another man particularly appealing.

As unpopular as my response will be, the term for this is autogynephilia (AGP). Not homosexual, since this is an attraction between same-sex, self-identified men. Not bi, since bisexuals are attracted to men and/or women whether they are dressed or not.

AGP is not necessarily a bad thing, it may even be a sexual attraction on its own merit, but basically it means the love of oneself as a woman. Let me explain.

If you are not ordinarily attracted to men, it is likely that should you actually find yourself having sex with a man even if you are dressed, the reality of being two male-bodied individuals having sex together would turn you off. The illusion that you are a female-bodied individual would shatter. So it is not about an attraction to a man while you are dressed, it is more about what the fantasy of being with him does to enhance your feelings of femininity ... it's the fantasy of being a female-bodied individual that is sexually exciting for you, and throwing a man in the fantasy helps to make it all the more real.

There are a few threads about this, and other threads asking members whether or not they are attracted to men. There are members who are gay or bi and who do have a real attraction to men. There are other members who felt like you, they actually tried it, and they discovered that being with a man was a turn off. And there are scads of members who prefer to keep it in the fantasy realm (they say they are attracted to or fantasize about men, not they've been with men), since I gather it is more fun to keep it that way than finding out that being with a man is a disappointment or a turn off?

EDIT - Oops, forgot to say. The easiest way to determine whether you are bi or not, is to go out and have sex with a man while dressed. And go all the way. Do it a few times, if you're not sure. If you like it, then I'm assuming that previously erected barriers against this will break down and you will also like it when you're not dressed. Then you'll know that you're bi, if you also continue to be attracted to women.

If your attraction to women wanes eventually and you only want to be with men, then you'll know that you are gay. If after a longer period of time you discover that you do identify as a woman, you transition, and you are still attracted to men, then you'll be hetero again. Full circle. :D

[Beth Wilde]

I can honestly say the only way to find your true self is to try what tempts you (providing it is legal), you might like it, you might hate it but there is only one way to know for sure. Once you have found out, you can label yourself if you really feel the need......

I might have said it before on this forum, I am a gay CD who is dating a gay CD, imagine how many combinations I could come up with!! The simple truth is that I am a gay man however I am dressed because I only find men attractive no matter what they are wearing.....

Clear as mud? :)

If it helps, I think Reine has hit the nail on the head, many many people have fantasies about being with men while they are dressed but there is one simple truth, clothesand makeup DO NOT and CANNOT change your sexuality!

Good luck whichever way you go!

[seanmuscle]

Its called straight. You have a woman inside you that is trying to express her femininity and physical needs. The need to be with a strong masculine guy. To feel protected and loved by a man.

[ReineD]

But CD'ers who prefer to be in the company of men, and men who are attracted to them do exist.

They're referred to as Admirers, and here's a prime example: :)


Its called straight. You have a woman inside you that is trying to express her femininity and physical needs. The need to be with a strong masculine guy. To feel protected and loved by a man.

There's more about this here: http://www.aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html

[Kate Simmons]

How about heteroflexible? :battingeyelashes:I like that one Kelly.:)

[kristinacd55]

It certainly is complicated.....and I'm one of them too. We need to come up with a term for it :)

There's more about this here: http://www.aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html

great article Reine......sums it up nicely

[Kathi Lake]

Religious thumping should really be moderated... As should thumping the religious.

Condescending, name-calling, and general aggression either way is moderated, so let's lighten up, shall we?

Kathi

[bobbie c]

kathi...thank you... a voice of reason. kallibrooke, you also said it right, the label thing is soooo overrated and yes it is such a slippery sloop that leads us nowhere. I also tend to find renees answer, as usual, well thought out and insightful...ty renee! but in the end,kathi has said it best...lets lighten up and lets move the religious "stuff" out, it serves no purpose to the posters question ,and only causes problems...no upside there

[cyndigurl45]

I had to laugh, sorry sweetie, I was thinking of my feelings years ago, at first I just thought I was gay and pursed other gay men but like you said only when dressed enfemme and in the female mind set, so after a few years of that craziness and finally figuring out I was just a woman that liked men LOL normal........ although I should add that I do occasionally enjoy the company of another woman in a sexual way so for those that need to hang a label I choose bisexual.

[Kristyn Hill]

Bi for sure and I will leave the religious stuff alone. If you present yourself as a beautiful girl then I am attracted. All girls/gurls or how one may spell it out. Me, Lesbian? Screw the labels and let's have fun...together.

[Monicamaryjay]

There are terms, but are they suitable?
The fluid nature of sexual expression, identity, and orientation are very complex and each person is different.
I used to think I was bisexual; maybe I am, but I am very rarely, if ever, attracted, to stereotypical men dressed like men.
But, I am attracted to certain slender, MTF transgendered persons such as myself... always,.... weather I am dressed or not. As long as they are dressed! I suppose my preference may be the reverse of the situation you mentioned.

I am also attracted to women, but that is secondary for me.
I think for me, it's more about the size, shape, and texture of someone... softness, gentleness, physical characteristics, intelligence and particularly, but not always , long hair.
So, I don't know which term is best suited here, but it makes life facinating.
Monica

[Nigella]

I've had enough trawling this thread and having to delete religious comments and other hurtful comments, thread done