Changes in your Crossdressing?

[Amy A]

Hi all,

I'm sorry if this topic has been covered a lot before but I'm new here and I have so many questions!

I don't know where I'm going with this at the moment. When I was younger crossdressing was a (very) guilty secret that I found sexually exciting :o, but rarely dressed for very long. Nowadays in my early 30s, when I'm dressed, it feels more like a stronger part of my personallity coming to the fore, and I get a strange sense of peace from it. I stay dressed for much longer.

Some of the members here are clearly happy to be male with the added fun that comes with dressing. Others seem to be much closer to the transgender end of the scale.

I'm interested in whether your perception of your dressing has changed over the years, whether its purpose or role in your life has changed or grown/receeded?

[Karren H]

nothings really changed..... and it has no purpose..... or useful purpose..... its still something I have to do.... I've just gotten better at it over the years..... I'm not going to force rank myself into some labeled scale...... it really doesn't mater in my life where I fit or how I compare to anyone else except myself....

[alisa63]

Hey Rachel, I can certainly relate to your post. When I was younger, dressing was sexually stimulating. Once I "took care" of my arousal, I almost immediately take the female clothing off and feel perverted and guilty. Now as I grow older, it feels 100% natural to wear female clothing, namely panties on a daily basis. There is still some excitement involved to some degree, but many days I wear them all day, and refrain from any type of sexual release. I wonder the same as you...am I CD/TS/TG????? A few weeks ago, I told my therapist (the first person ever) of my crossdressing and she is working with me to try to decipher (as best a possible) where on the continuum I fit. Where I go with it from there is up to me.

[Roberta Young]

Rachel, Im older than some rock formations. Dressing young was sexually fun, but as i matured dressing has turned into wonderfull retreat, a "melloness". Also the only thing that receeded is my hair line. Luv Roberta

[Wildaboutheels]

There are a number of regulars here who proclaim all CDers will eventually want more and "progress" or something very close to that.

Kinda silly of them to think they can speak for everyone.

I'll call it a "hobby" for me for lack of a better term. Always has been and always will be.

The ONLY thing different for me is that I have more shoes and more time and more opportunity.

[deebra]

Rachel it happened to me exactly as you described and I think it's really cool when we find out other CDers experienced the exact same journey that has transpired with you. As you described when you were first getting into it the guilt and sexual excitement were exzilerating accompanied by guilt and then the overwhelming need to do it again and take it a little further. As more time passed the acceptance and enjoyment that dressing female from the skin out brings and we as CDers are blessed to be the few of the male gender that can experience the joy of feminity and all (including the clothes) that make a woman the beautiful creature she is. It's a shame we are not accepted by a society that accepts so many other things. Be glad this unplanned blessing has taken over you and as many on this site have said, "It Ain't Going Away". Your avatar shows you to be very passable, attractive and young, enjoy the many years ahead to the fulliest as Racheal.

[Amy A]

I'm not going to force rank myself into some labeled scale...... it really doesn't mater in my life where I fit or how I compare to anyone else except myself....

Sorry I really didn't mean to make people label themselves or make comparisons, my question was more whether in other members experience the urge to dress has become something more, or whether it has just stayed as a hobby. I completely agree with what you're saying, I think I just erroneously use the word 'scale' because I couldn't think of a better way of explaining it.


I wonder the same as you...am I CD/TS/TG????? A few weeks ago, I told my therapist (the first person ever) of my crossdressing and she is working with me to try to decipher (as best a possible) where on the continuum I fit. Where I go with it from there is up to me.

Your experiences sound very similar to mine. I've just been referred to a counsellor for my depression, and I will have to tell them I am a CD'er, I am nervous about what conclusions they might draw up from it, and whether I'm opening up a pathway to something that I didn't dare consider before.

[kimdl93]

In my own expereince, CDing was for many years a guilty secret limited to occassional underdressing and bedroom play with my ex. After we divorced, I went into a muti-year hiatus from dressing, then it re-emerged. My present wife knew before we were engaged, and has been very accepting, which in large part has allowed me to expereince a huge upswing. I dress nearly full time now, but don't anticipate transitioning. I guess I'm on a path that is somewhat more towards the transsexual side of the Transgender spectrum.

[Amy A]

Be glad this unplanned blessing has taken over you and as many on this site have said, "It Ain't Going Away". Your avatar shows you to be very passable, attractive and young, enjoy the many years ahead to the fulliest as Racheal.

Well bottling it up and trying to repress it really hasn't done me any good!

I do enjoy it and I'm genuinely excited about practising my make-up (might even throw up a few pics!), it doesn't always feel like a blessing though. Thanks for your comments though, you made my day!

[Stephanie47]

Hi Rachel, I think the majority of heterosexual cross dressers start out solely with sexual gratification. To me, that does not seem unusual since most horny guys sought sexual gratification somehow. Of course, donning feminine clothing would appear aberrant. Why? Societal customs and norms that have been established by the group mentality. Times have not changed. There are still people whose sexuality which is 'aberrant;' lesbians, gays, cross dressers, etc.

Every cross dresser tries to figure out the 'why?' I stopped a long time ago. I have just accepted it. The best I've been able to determine for myself is the serenity and peace cross dressing brings me when under stress. Cross dressing is a stress reliever. Basically, cross dressing is so 'unmanly' it expunges any feeling of 'manliness' when en femme. I restrict my cross dressing to 'in home' because it is a stress reliever. To go out into the world and be ridiculed or be on guard would defeat the purpose. I also do not feel the need to interact with others. That also goes for interacting with others dressed as a man. Why? It's a personal thing related to the long term effects of stresses caused by combat.

I do not have a 'split personality.' I am totally aware of what I am doing when I do it. I firmly believe each of us, male and female, have some degree of the other sexes attributes buried in us. How each of us expresses a perceived feminine side may be as simple as cooking as a 'hobby' or being fully en femme.

Just waste too much mental capital trying to figure everything out.

[Karren H]

Sorry I really didn't mean to make people label themselves or make comparisons, my question was more whether in other members experience the urge to dress has become something more, or whether it has just stayed as a hobby. I completely agree with what you're saying, I think I just erroneously use the word 'scale' because I couldn't think of a better way of explaining it.

yeah..... like escalation.... deescalation... lol.

[alisa63]

Your experiences sound very similar to mine. I've just been referred to a counsellor for my depression, and I will have to tell them I am a CD'er, I am nervous about what conclusions they might draw up from it, and whether I'm opening up a pathway to something that I didn't dare consider before.

When I first started seeing my psychologist it wasn't for crossdressing either, but as we continued working on stuff and I gained trust in her I finally decided that if I really wanted to figure myself out, that I had to tell her. Yes, I also have fear about where this "revalation/confession" will take me. Once I told someone else, and subsequently came onto this website, it become something real, that I may be finally be ready to deal with. It's not just my perverted little secret anymore. Which, by the way, my therapist told me there is nothing perverted about it :-)

[Pexetta]

For me it started as a mysterious urge, then became a sexual/fetish thing in my teens and 20s. Then I had a strange 'cisvestite' phase where I got excited by wearing traditional/stereotypical manly clothes, and then cross-dressing came back about two years ago as a largely non-sexual thing.

Which in terms of the original question is an arc from the TG end, to the CD end, over the middle point, then right back again to the starting point.

[Amy A]

Which in terms of the original question is an arc from the TG end, to the CD end, over the middle point, then right back again to the starting point.

More of a Lemniscate than an arc then?

And yes I did use wikipedia to find the proper name for it! :doh:

[CandyDarling]

Hi Rachel - don't let it get the best of you. All the veterans here are correct - it will never go away - it is likely to increase. I have found that balance is the key - you need to practice not giving in to the urge to dress every time. It can take you over and become obsessive. Ther is an element of addiction in my opinion.

[Lady Slipper]

Rachel, I have found myself on a similar path, I am just a few years older than you and have recently had my dressing evolve, into what IDK yet. Many members have had similar experiences to ours, its nice to know your not alone. Midlife crisis here I come! Lols!

[Jamie Christopher]

Early on I was happy wearing a bra with breast forms under a T-shirt, and that was exciting. As I grow, I do feel a need to dive deeper into my femininity. I want to start with a nice shower, a close shave, and pick out some pretty lingerie to put on. Next is my makeup, and then the hard choice - what to wear today? I'll try a few different outfits, and settle on what is right for today. Then the accessories, and finally a destination. I do feel falling further into my role each time, and absolutely hate it when it has to end, as it must in my circumstance. Then to dreaming for what my next day will bring.

[Brittany CD]

It's definitely changed over the past ten years. It started with giggling while wearing a bra and eventually turned into dressing completely as a girl, with makeup and a wig. Hasn't really made any change in my life

[windycissy]

Rachel, I concur with most everybody's comments - for whatever reason, it starts as a turn-on that can lead to feelings of shame after the inevitable release, but by own theory is when we get a bit older and our testosterone is on the wane, the rush and resistance are replaced by feelings of mellowness and wonder...it gets more complicated when you've got the looks (as you do) to pass as a woman, then the urge to get out there and experience life from the other side of the gender barrier becomes irresistable, at least for me, it's almost like a drug and my endorphins and dopamin levels go through the roof from the amazing natural high of being a pretty woman, Cissy

[GeminaRenee]

Hi Rachel,

I feel like my dressing has followed a similar arc to yours. For the first ten years or so, it was purely sexual. Pantyhose... lipstick... bam! - and that was that. In my early twenties, I was lucky enough to have a person in my life who understood the sexual aspect of it - but also helped me to see that there could be so much more to it. And so began the evolution of Kali into a more polished girl integrated into my personality.

As the course of this river has begun to cut it's own groove, I've come to realize that I do have an interest in being out and about as Kali, and living and having experiences as Kali. And I've also come to accept that this is not going away - and I don't want it to. And like you, I do find a certain peace in it. I don't get to dress all the time, but when I do, it can be such a balanced feeling, that the ship has been righted in some very necessary way.

And so, Kali has become much more of a figure in and an essential part of my life than I could have ever expected. But I'm very excited to be traveling down this path. And being in my early thirties, I feel like I have some potentially wondrous things ahead of me as Kali... we'll see!

Thanks for starting this thread! (:

[Camille15]

Hi -

As evidenced by the posts on this thread, I don't think your experience is unique or unusual in anyway. I too am in my early-mid thirties, and have experience the same change in feelings. It used to be purely a turn-on, but in recent years less so. Now it's more about how I feel when I do it... I get a sense of satisfaction, peace/calm, and relief from stress.

Recently I told my wife, who is very loving and accepting. Because of this I no longer needed to hide this part of myself, and only indulge in what might be in her closet from time to time. Now I'm able to order my own things, which is turning out to be a lot of fun. I'm much more conscious of women's fashion than I used to be, because now I guess I have the option to actually purchase some! :)

I am not worried about it "progressing" into something more. I view it as one part of myself that's always been there, I'm just now giving it some freedom to breathe. I have no desire to "be" a woman. I enjoy my life as a man and all that comes with it. But it is fun to feel pretty sometimes!

Camille

[Bree Wagner]

Rachel,

Yep, another similar story from me. I really started to make the change around the same time you did. I dressed fully for the first time a few years ago as a 30th birthday present to myself and really started to venture out into the world last year at 32. Now it's an at least once a month activity to get dressed and head out somewhere. With that, I still very much enjoy all the 'male' things I do and there's plenty of balance. If it worked with the family life I may go out a bit more, but where I'm at is great for me and I don't see it changing again anytime soon.

So, to answer your last question, my perception (reality) sure has changed over the years from something almost completely sexual to something that is almost more like a great hobby. The part is has played in my life has certainly increased and hopefully all for the better.

All the best,
Bree

[Amy Fakley]

it's always stunning to me to read these threads, because of the number of people who tell stories that are shockingly similar to my own. Most all of us start hidden in the closet; an island from the world, yet somehow our stories almost seem scripted from the same source. It's spooky! Also reassuring ... I'm not crazy after all! :-)

I've found my femme persona to be like a seed. The more attention I give to her, the more she grows. When I try to ignore her, she withers but she never quite goes away.

[Rachel Morley]

Oh for sure. In the beginning in my 20's it was all about the fantasies and the sexual buzz. Then in my 30's it was more about feeling like I wished I was a girl and wanting to be more feminine, but that's when the rational thinking came in and I told myself that my behavior was not "normal" and I shouldn't "fan the flames". It wasn't until my late 30's and early 40's that I became at peace with myself and realized that my feminine side was the better part of me and that I should openly embrace it. Today, CDing is a cornerstone of my existence and happiness.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Hi Rachel. Like yourself, mine started out as a sexual thing. It was an occasional thing to dress and once it was finished I put the clothes away. Now it's about fifteen years later and it has become part of me. I've embraced my feminine side. I have come to a point where I am considering whether I would need to live as a woman. I would never have though about that all those years ago. I don't know where I fall on the scale but maybe if I see a gender specialist I could find out. That's something I will have to look in to.

Just enjoy being feminine when you can :)

[Meghan]

Without a doubt that is true. I am hitting 42 this year, and honestly crossdressing has been dormant since my mid 30's.

I have always been afraid to take pictures of myself (I know, right) up until now...

But now that wife is in on it, she is encouraging me to come out further than I have ever played before.

I don't describe it as changing so much as it is evolving. I am not worried about what it "means" nearly as much as I used to.

For example, I had my first ever orgasm in a pair of pantyhose. I used to think that was something significant until I realized ANYTIME the recipe for an orgasm was there, I was wearing something girlish.

Let's see...home all to myself: Check
Time before anyone was expected home: Check

Hell, every night I would close and lock my bedroom door and dig out a hidden pair of panties or stockings or something. That was way before I knew what an orgasm was...

Now that I look back, I think the orgasm happened while I was wearing pantyhose because I wore them whenever I had a chance to...

I always thought it was the other way around until just recently!

Meghan

[Amy A]

Thanks everyone for the great replies. I only wish I'd had access to this kind of support when I was 15.

There are lots of things I love doing that could be seen as typically male, eg watching football (US: read soccer), PS3, heavy rock music, riding motorcycles etc. And yet I don't feel that any of that is exclusively male, and I feel like I indentify with the average bloke very little these days. I'm just not sure i belong, like I'm playing out a part that I don't like. And the feeling is getting worse, the days when I'm low are getting darker. Rachel brings me peace, and an escape from all of that.

And yet my life is otherwise where I want it to be; wonderful girlfriend, nice house, dream career, small group of close friends, loving parents and family. I'm not sure that I want to risk all of that. I'm worried that these feelings will get more intense, that there's no way back. I spend too much time fretting about my future when I should just be letting go and enjoying it like some of you are able to.

One day soon I'm going to start a nice light hearted thread, so I don't come across as such a misery guts!!

Again thanks to you all for the fascinating posts. :)

[Joanne f]

Yes i would say that my perception in why i do it has changed as in the beginning i looked upon it as just clothes and that i was a man that liked to wear skirts , nothing more than that , but now it is quite different , i now know that i have a very strong feminine side and that the clothes and jewelry are all part of that to the extent that i feel much less of a man than i thought i was or tried to be .

[Crissy Kay]

An interesting thread. For myself, my cding seems to remain the same. I am still pretty much a closet fetish cd, in that I still have no interest in wearing regular fem clothes. Even after all the time I have spent reading about the cds who do go out. I do find myself spending more time being dressed then I used to, when I can. I guess in the end, I am still happier in male mode, then fem.

[suchacutie]

Hi Rachel. I'm actually "upside down"! We found Tina when I was 55 and had never dressed before that. Now we (my wife and I) are on the adventure of trying to figure out how the Tina in me has affected my life when we didn't know she existed, and how the now clear duality of my gendered selves will lead us any differently into the future. It's a terrific adventure!!!

[Jordan-NH]

I'm there right now. *sigh* Just in a mood. Hope to be back in good form by the weekend.

[Dragster]

Like you Meghan, I had my first orgasm, also before I knew what an orgasm was, wearing an item of female clothing. In my case it was my mother's incredibly tight hookside girdle and stockings at the age of 12/13, and from that time I was hooked. I've no idea why I was motivated to put them on, but I was so excited I was shaking.

Like many of you, I love my male side and male activities far too much for dressing ever to become more than an occasional activity for me. Unlike most of you, I still, at the age of 68, find dressing up is primarily a sexual thing for me, and my choice of clothing (tight and erotic mainly) reflects that. I have a dream of going out in public too (with more conservative clothing), but my wife would probably divorce me if I did, so unless she has a massive change of heart, it's not going to happen.

Tony

[DavinaJones]

Hi, I had a liking for tight/pantyhose and stockings when I was young and the sexual aspect was certainly a major part of my interest.
As is often the case that aspect of my life left me for many years until about 5 years ago when one evening my wife received a phone call whilst we were in bed, she was on the phone for soooo long I got bored, so I jumped up, grabbed a pair of her suspender tights and put them on right there in front of her. She was talking to her friend and trying not to laugh at me, it was fun.
Later, after her conversation had ended I said that I rather liked the feel of them on my legs, she suggested I wore them to work the next day. This wouldn't be a problem for me as I was self employed and worked from my own studio.
To cut a long story short I wore the tights to work and it became a habit, all my memories came flooding back:)
About three years ago I tried crossdressing and enjoyed it but I'm getting old and chubby so don't look too good in a dress. I now dress in my own quirky style with baggy girlie jeans, girlie shoes (ballerina's) and a mans shirt, waiscoat with a trilby or fedora hat. If I go for a night out I wear make-up and usually get 'boy George' comments from lots of people.

I'll post a pic if you want.

So for me it's tights/stockings as a child, tights and crossdressing in my late thirties and now tights and girlie clothing in a quirky male style in my early forties.

[SnowPrincess]

Rachael80

This is one of the most interesting threads that I have read here. My story is still developing and I am still fighting between shame and where I belong. I was excited by cross dressing about 20 years ago when my wife and I played around with it. However, she made it clear that it turned her off so I went back into the closet and ultimately destroyed all of my clothes. Recently (20 years later) while my wife of 35 years was gone, I purchased another set of clothes and found that wearing them prompted an astonishing feeling of peace and contentment. Unfortunately my wife does not accept the concept and so I am back in the closet and sneaking my dressing when my wife is asleep. I have yet to dress totally and have no idea where I am going with this. My wife asked me how far I would go and I could only tell her where I knew I would not go. I hate the closet at home but my marriage is very precious to me. It is nice to see that others have followed the same road. Not only am I in the closet, but because of my age can never be the beauty that most of you seem to be.

Thank you for asking the question and starting this thread.

[Amy A]

I'm so glad others are finding this thread interesting. It's got me thinking more about my own motives when I dress. I remember when I was young, wishing I had a mini skirt or tight dress, something that would make me feel sexy. As I've grown older and the sexual side of my dressing has receeded, I now want to look like the kind of girls I find to be attractive eg. fashionable, stylish, well dressed, young, feminine. Girls that dress for themselves rather than anyone else, like my girlfriend does. Wearing 'sexy/erotic' clothes doesn't really appeal anymore, but thats just me.

Snow Princess: I hope you find the balance you are looking for and the shame goes away. I have those feelings of shame all the time, except, of course, when I am dressed. There are so many people on here that have embraced it, and seem to be happier for it.

Brittany: Hope you feel better soon!

[Beverley Sims]

Mine has gone from weekends to five or six days a week

[Elle1946]

My dressing has not really changer over the years. I dress because I enjoy it and I am just a CDer at heart, no sex change in mind.

[SnowPrincess]

Rachel80,

Thank you for your kind comments. All I can do is keep reading here as it is my only outlet for discussing cross dressing.

[lauriep]

I think everybody had similar beginings. I too started dressing at a young age, and the feelings have also progressed in the same way. I now feel like I should be able to wear whatever I want, whenever I want. I feel perfectly comfortable in a bra and panties all the time. I am letting my hair grow long, and I have both of my ears pearced. When someone asks me I just tell them, "Becasuse I want to."

I feel more relaxed and confident now, and I have noticed that I am more focused.

Your reasons for dressing, and your feelings are yours, and nobody has the right to make you feel any different.

I am sorry if I got off of the subject. By the way Rachel you look great. You look like a girl I used to date while I was in high school.

[Maria 60]

I would say the same for myself it was purely sexual in my younger years and now I enjoy just getting dressed and relaxing and watching tv when the kids are out and then at a certain time get changed back.I was very confused about it till about five years ago and with the help of my wife and the help of my friends on this site I have made big changes. Five years ago I would have been happy just putting on a pair of pantyhose and a skirt and that was it, I now own a wig, make up, dresses and now I am more complete. When my wife seen I was confused she said to me she didn't know why because it was very simple that I enjoy being a father, husband but have this wild side that has to come out, so just try to have fun with it. The only thing that bothers her and myself is when opportunity doe's not come and I start to get nervous. For example today both kids would go to there part time jobs and I would have 4 or 5 hrs to myself. Well for some reason my son quit his part time job and now I can't dress and I am a little nervous today and my wife has already seen that I am upset and now see feels as if she's stuck with a grump the rest of the weekend. To answer your question my biggest change is I now need more time for Maria to get dressed and like everyone says we always want more.

[Amy A]

I am sorry if I got off of the subject. By the way Rachel you look great. You look like a girl I used to date while I was in high school.

Aw shucks, thanks :). And no apologies needed, seemed perfectly on topic to me!

[NathalieX66]

I am kind of unusual. I started cd'ing around age 6 or 7, having no idea what the gender binary meant. Female clothes just simply looked better to me. In reality, girl clothes would have been my default choice. It was the taboo-ness of being male wearing girly clothes that made it sexually stimulating.
I faced this issue late in life , having tried to suppress these feelings during the battle royale of me , and two sides of me came out: the frilly girly-girl, which is fetish in my opinion, and my feminine side which is my social side that I bring out in public. I prefer to be female in my social life, and I want nothing to do with fetish or sexual side. Being a woman in public feels like unlimited freedom.....I like that.

[Jenniferathome]

Yes, there has been a dramatic change. Since coming out to my wife, and with fear and shame gone, dressing is no longer a taboo that can only be dreamt about and taken advantage of at every rare opportunity. The result is a comfort and sense of ease in feeling feminine from time to time. For me, it is not simply about putting on clothes but presenting as feminine in the most complete way possible. This is very different than in my youth and only possible because of my wife and her acceptance of this bizarre sided of me.


- it is likely to increase. It can take you over and become obsessive. Ther is an element of addiction in my opinion.

Candy, this is a comment about you, not crossdressers.

[Tina B.]

I am one of those that started dressing at a very young age, around 6 years old, and sex had nothing to do with it, but excitement did. I found it a real thrill wearing my sisters nylon slips and her bra's and panties, her dresses when I could get my hands on one. I don't know why I started wearing them but I know it was fun, and exciting, and some how made me feel good. When I got to my teens, it did become a sexual fetish, but then so dids dads mens magazines, and a lot of other things.
By my late twenties, the sexual part of it was ending, and it became a calming place during hard and scary times, a place to retreat to. Now it is just a clothing choice, I don't find it lifts me up, or pulls me down, unless, I try to not dress, then and only then does it become any kind of problem, While some days I can't make my self even want to dress, on other days I can't resist the urge, and must dress to feel complete, and if I don't, I know I will spiral into a depressed state of mind and it will last until I give in and dress for a few days. So I just don't resist anymore. Oh, and being retired, I have more opportunity so I dress more than I use to, but that's just because I can.
Tina B.

[Tara D. Rose]

I will say that the same thing applies to me as well. I took advantage in wearing my sisters clothes at Halloween, it was such fun to be out like that, while only I knew how good it felt inside while the rest of the gang thought it was just for costume. Yes as the years went by and I was grown, while dressed as they say, I took care of some fires, then when the flames were out, I was overcome with extreme guilty feelings. It's really strange though, for when the next time would come up, the guilt from last time would not be there, until the fires were put out again, then the guilt was back and even stronger than ever. So with that, comes the purges, I threw everything away.

But it does come back stronger than ever after a 13 year shutdown. From the information from this site and cd events,we learn that this is a natural process that so many of us can relate to. For a while my wife and I would indulge putting out fires together, but she now understands that this isn't always about sexual excitement. I do wish that all of this information and internet could have been available to me when I was young. I know I could have avoided so much pain, guilt and thoughts of suicide. Like thousands have said, this isn't going away, it's part of me, best to embrace it than to fight it.

And now with this understanding, (which is way more than I can type), I am now at peace with myself.
Love & Respect.......Tara

[docrobbysherry]

Men by nature, r very sexually oriented. EVERYTHING turns them on until age 30 or so!:D
So many of u began dressing at an early age think your DRESSING HAS CHANGED. When, in fact, your DESIRE FOR SEX has CHANGED!:eek:

By the time I was 50, I had lost ALL INTEREST IN SEX. Which is not very unusual for men that age with prostate issues. Since I didn't dress back then, I simply blamed the changed interest in sex on my dropping testosterone levels. I believe many of u older girls have had the same drop in levels and corresponding interest in sex. But, since u began dressing early, u think your dressing has changed when in fact it's your interest in sex period, that's changed! :straightface:

As further proof, I began dressing in my early 50's and Sherry restored my interest in sex again. :o
However, as I continue to age I wish to wear women's things more often. And, it doesn't always have be a sexual thing. Do I think my "dressing is changing"? No! Because my interest and performance of sex is dropping all across the board! And, so it may be with many of u!?:brolleyes:

[ArleneRaquel]

I started at the age of eight and now at age 64 I feel so much more comfortable being dressed as a woman as close to 24/7 as possible. The feel of painted lips, face and hose on hairless legs has never lost it's magic on moi., I hope that it never does.

[Amy A]

So many of u began dressing at an early age think your DRESSING HAS CHANGED. When, in fact, your DESIRE FOR SEX has CHANGED!:eek:


It's an interesting angle, but speaking for myself only, whilst my dressing isn't sexual anymore, my interest in sex is as, erm... 'healthy' as ever! No doubt hormones are playing a part, I don't know. It's not just the loss of the sexual aspect that concerns me though.

[Noeda]

Hi Rachel80,

Your story is very similar to mine and i think we are at a similar age (i have just turned 32). I also progressed from a sexually oriented desire to something more. The sexual part is still there, but it is not dominant anymore. In the last 3 or 4 years i have expanded my wardrobe quite extensively, from just lingerie to a real woman's wardrobe and since last year i felt a strong urge to go outside into the world as the closet was getting smaller and smaller. I finally did it last month and was an extraordinary experience. But with it came consequences... i am too wandering what my future will bring, as i am thinking if it's not only about clothes and it is something more?
Until recently, i considered myself just a simple crosdresser but now i am afraid that's not all and i am at a point in life when i have to take some decisions which will afect the rest of my life. Hope i will take the right ones :)

[reb.femme]

When I was younger crossdressing was a (very) guilty secret that I found sexually exciting :o, but rarely dressed for very long. Nowadays in my early 30s, when I'm dressed, it feels more like a stronger part of my personallity coming to the fore, and I get a strange sense of peace from it. I stay dressed for much longer.

I agree with much of what Karren says but for many here and I include me, the very same guilty secret and sexual motivation played a big part in our lives early on. However, you are who you are and comparisons tend to be difficult to make as we are an extremely diverse group in both personal and sexual preference. For me, I just except who and/or what I am, no real labelling wanted or desired.

Your avatar appears very femme (in fact pretty) and I would suspect (grand assumption coming) that you are settling into both elements of your life.

On the last part of your question though, the sexual element that I experienced in my 20s / 30s has receeded in favour of I love being dressed and I wouldn't change a thing, bar being 25 again. :)

Reb

[Amy A]

Hi Rachel80,

Your story is very similar to mine and i think we are at a similar age (i have just turned 32). I also progressed from a sexually oriented desire to something more. The sexual part is still there, but it is not dominant anymore. In the last 3 or 4 years i have expanded my wardrobe quite extensively, from just lingerie to a real woman's wardrobe and since last year i felt a strong urge to go outside into the world as the closet was getting smaller and smaller. I finally did it last month and was an extraordinary experience. But with it came consequences... i am too wandering what my future will bring, as i am thinking if it's not only about clothes and it is something more?
Until recently, i considered myself just a simple crosdresser but now i am afraid that's not all and i am at a point in life when i have to take some decisions which will afect the rest of my life. Hope i will take the right ones :)

Yeah our ages are very similar, I turned 32 a few months back. Your post resonates with me completely, although I haven't been out yet... that day is coming soon, I can't hold it off any longer, but it feels like I'm going past a point of no return. I too desperately want to make the right choices; I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.

Also, I've just finished watching The Skin I Live In and thats just left me bewildered! Thats a different thread though methinks!

[Wildaboutheels]

For so many men [here] to feel "guilty" for months or years and years about just what makes a man a man is just plain crazy. And IS there a more common THEME here?

Or maybe some of you have NEVER used magazines or porn. It's the SAME THING. It's not Rocket Science.

[CONSUELO]

I have noticed the same thing. When I was a teenager the sexual rush from dressing was so strong that I could not stay that way for long. Now i dress because it feels so pleasant and fits with my feelings, though the sexual high is still there.

[Jay135]

Thank you for this thread. It has brought me a lot of understanding about similar roads others have taken

As for me...It may be because I'm still "new" in exploring this part of me, which has seemingly exploded in recent months from one simple fetish to (at this point) "neck deep in femininity"...but even though I'm 35, I'd say that I'm about 90% sexual fetish right now. The only thing I enjoy wearing beyond "fun time" are long, beautiful nails (what started all this when I was 13), and painted toes (I've had my toes painted 24/7 for a few years now).

I'm not sure where my road will lead, but reading experiences here, I think I've gained at least some understanding about the different directions that my road _could_ lead.

Thank you again!

[ArleneRaquel]

In my middle days of dressing, age 16-60, it was a sexual turn on for me, after age 60 or so it beame just a part of my natural being. From age eight to 16 it was extreme fun.

[Marissa V]

A lot of similarities in your story Rachel. When i was a kid it was fun, it became a sexually oriented thing later but always i had the feeling something was missing but never payed much attention to it, just accepting that i dressed was hard enough with the mindset of the time. Only when i first fully transformed the whole puzzle fell into place. And yes, it took a woman to get me this far, and since then we've talked about this endlessly and ive realised that Myrdin is just a part of me, always was and will be. And for me that realisation brings a whole different 'way' of dressing now, from a 'lets do this and have sex' to really becomming Myrdin who in itself isnt much different from the guy-me and yet is very different in many ways i never thought possible. And i kept my crossdressing hidden (or to a bare minimum) for almost 40 years. Now i can really be me finally, wich in itself for me brings with it a whole different way of dressing. And last night my girlfriend told me that i would be surprised to know how much of Myrdin allready rubbed off on the guy me... Im in for some fun reveleations about myself and some interesting times... Hope it goes the same for you :D

[krissy]

im the same way i love to dress but dont get to dress as much as i want to .but i want it more now and i do get that peace you talk about

[ChelseaErtel]

I began early, then went on and off. I started in my lat 20's again and it began as an erotic thing. Then I stopped for a few years, fighting it. In my 40's I picked it up again but it became a transformation exercise for me, just wanting to act, look, dress, and feel like a woman. I only just started going out presenting as a woman and no issues, it's been very much fun and getting to be an easy, almost normal way to go out (unfortunately only when I travel).

There has been no "sexual" release in years. The little devil just stays tucked and quiet as a mouse.

Nothing gives me more joy than dressing for whatever occasion, appropriately for someone my age (Jeans, long skirt, flats, wedges, heels when I can,..) and going out. I'll be going out in a few weeks to an evening event for TG/DC ladies close to where I live and I'm looking forward to their advise and dressing to the nines.

[Gillian Gigs]

I read somewhere that the average 14 to 30 year old male has a sexual thought every 90 seconds, or less. If that is true then just about anything can or could have a sexual significance to a young male. A first orgasm while wearing womens clothes would then have an impact on the developing mental processes with the individuals mind. Yes, I too was someone that had their first orgasm while dressed in lingerie. Hence, I see where a bond develops between the two, and gets re-enforced every time the act is repeated. As we age the drive becomes less, but the staying power grows. For some of us that can mean that your foreplay zone could last several days, and not necessarily know that it is still a very sexual thing, but just drawn out longer! Things change, as someone said, "the more things change, the more they remain the same". Each one of us has to determine the "hows", "whys", and examine it within our own history as to whether anything has really changed, or not.