self imposed full immersion into the world of femininity

[famousunknown]

Since I’m seriously considering transitioning to fulltime, I came up with the idea of a self imposed immersion into the world of femininity. I guess this is my way of making sure that this is what I really want to do for the rest of my life. I work from home, and so far this week, I’ve been wearing nothing but dresses or skirts, heels, full makeup, etc. I need to seriously see for myself what it's really like being fulltime femme, if I get tired of it, and if this deep need inside me will disappear. So far, it hasn’t, and I‘m loving it. I know real women don’t look and act like June Cleaver 24/7, but I figure doing this will give me the full femme experience, and I can always go more casual from here.
I got a full set of french gel nails this past Saturday, before I started my trial run. It’s been quite exasperating at times getting used to the longer nails, but I feel that I’m adjusting well. I also had my brows threaded into a femme arch, when I got the nails. I don’t think I’ve attracted much attention in public, but I know I need to build my feminine self confidence & self esteem. I need to push myself to be more sociable in my new lifestyle. I plan on getting multiple ear piercing on Friday. I haven’t yet decided how long my immersion test is going to last, maybe a month or more? I’m just trying to do my best one day at a time and see how it goes. Am I crazy? Yeah, probably!

[Amy A]

Wow, good luck! It's a brave move, I hope you get what you want out of it. I'd love to be able to do it myself, but my circumstances don't permit!

[joandher]

I think all of us at some time in our lives think we are a bit crazy, so what, after C/Ding for 60 years I still enjoy every second of it, just enjoy every moment,life is too short

[josee]

Sounds like a great way to start. You may never want to go back. Hope it goes smoothly for you.

[I Am Paula]

Sounds like you're going in head first. Whatever works for you. For years I just spent more and more time en femme, until one day I realized that I never switch back to full male mode. It was a twenty year trip. Now drab is leaving the house with no make up or boobs. Have a great trip!

[luscious]

I tried to stay dressed for 10 days

but I could only stay dressed over the weekend with going back and forth.
had to go get my mail and run some errands that could not get done in female mode as I have to show ID

:2c: :eek: :o :devil: :battingeyelashes: :devil:

you need locking heels and a locking corset with the key being kept somewhere out of easy reach

there is a key holding service for this and its about 50-$60/month +

[ReineD]

You're describing RLE (real life experience), which is recommended for every transitioning transsexual for I believe at least a year (some people do it for 2 years).

You can read more about it in the WPATH (World Professional Assoc for TG Health) "Standards of Care" below, on page 61 (or page 66 in the thumbnails), under "Rationale for a preoperative, 12-month experience of living in an identity-congruent gender role".

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:JfSkMNCv-pAJ:www.wpath.org/documents/Standards%2520of%2520Care%2520V7%2520-%25202011%2520WPATH.pdf+&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESjt4a0aT02p_Z0bVlXiBeRhsHMKovIDFfxEf-btnbBVGweJoHmbvN7h81UiwiBbSe8xMWAbAJtwaioyTldzimR_ 2F0RBxL2Nxz4zZxtcgyHlBuI_s61FyYUkToDpH6VFHPqJya4&sig=AHIEtbRq_ZANd5KFKvHmofNAFWKDnqfEkQ

Good luck! :)

[Anna B]

Wow, sounds like a recurring dream I have. Good luck with your venture. Just wish I could be doing it!

Anna x

[Jeanna]

RLE, awesome, enjoy!

[famousunknown]

Sounds like you're going in head first. Whatever works for you. For years I just spent more and more time en femme, until one day I realized that I never switch back to full male mode. It was a twenty year trip. Now drab is leaving the house with no make up or boobs. Have a great trip!

Yes, I'm going "head first" into the deep water so-to-speak. I knew if I didn't go for full immersion, I would have always wondered. The boob issue...yes, I'm going for 24/7. I used the SkinBond cement to attach my forms Saturday night and I don't think they've budged.
But getting used to having 38c boobs fulltime? that’s a process.



You're describing RLE (real life experience), which is recommended for every transitioning transsexual for I believe at least a year (some people do it for 2 years).

Yes Reine, I guess this is kinda my version of RLE w/o the hormones. I seriously considered getting hormones, but decided to try this first.
I've already learned a lot in just the past 4 days.

[ReineD]

Yes Reine, I guess this is kinda my version of RLE w/o the hormones. I seriously considered getting hormones, but decided to try this first.
I've already learned a lot in just the past 4 days.

I think this is very wise! :)

I don't know if you've read the link I posted yet (it's a gold mine for anyone who considers transition), but the importance of RLE isn't so much about determining how you can cope with the grooming aspect of being a woman. Believe me if you ever do transition, you'll save the pretty clothes, jewelry, manicured nails, etc, for special occasions out, and half the time you'll just throw on a Tshirt and jeans and head out the door like the rest of us. It's more about dealing with others as a woman and learning that some of your male privilege will disappear, and sad to say but also dealing with the rejection you'll encounter not only from some strangers (for example being "sirred" even when you're presenting as a woman), but more importantly, by those among your family, friends, coworkers, and community members who will potentially disapprove of your transition.

I've heard it said many times here ... transitioners need to develop a tough skin.

[famousunknown]

I've heard it said many times here ... transitioners need to develop a tough skin.

Reine, I get the whole social aspect of transition, and I'm working on it. I know it just doesn't happen over night. And I'm not trying to put too much emphasis on clothing, etc. I’m not saying real women go around wearing dresses, heels, and makeup every day. I just wanted to find out for myself what it was like doing it fulltime, and seeing if I was happy with that. I know I can always dress down.
Tough skin, you are absolutely right about that. Transition is also an emotional, mental, adjustment. Nobody said it was easy.

[Kate Simmons]

The biggest pain for me when I went full time was the constant shaving. Chest every day, legs every other day and face twice a day. If you are someone like me who is a naturally hairy guy, you really have to keep on top of it to remain presentable.:)

[Tracii G]

Very interesting keep a diary on here and maybe it will become a sticky for the rest of us.

[luscious]

there were some hormones cream that although they dId not get rid of hair they made the hair more fine.
they use to sell it at these transformation salonS in north Hollywood and they still do online or you could get a prescription.


The biggest pain for me when I went full time was the constant shaving. Chest every day, legs every other day and face twice a day. If you are someone like me who is a naturally hairy guy, you really have to keep on top of it to remain presentable.:)

[NathalieX66]

Famous, I see you as just a normal person. You found your spot on the gender spectrum , and you went with it. I support you.

I am no longer a fan of male clothes, and prefer female presentation in my social life. I's a pretty easy thing to do in New jersey, and particularly in New York City where the normal hetero folks treat you just the same. Wearing a dress in public is "old hat" for me. I hope you can do as well in Mississippi somehow.
Peace & love.

[JenniferLynn0370]

Congratulations, good luck and have a blast! I envy you; I have longed to do something like this all my life. I've lives as a woman for a week or two before, but haven't had the chance to go longer. Keep us posted!

Hugs,
Jen

[Miranda-E]

Since I’m seriously considering transitioning to fulltime, I came up with the idea of a self imposed immersion into the world of femininity. I guess this is my way of making sure that this is what I really want to do for the rest of my life. I work from home, and so far this week, I’ve been wearing nothing but dresses or skirts, heels, full makeup, etc. I need to seriously see for myself what it's really like being fulltime femme, if I get tired of it, and if this deep need inside me will disappear.

Staying at home and dressing up has nothing do with being fulltime or building confidence in public.

I tried to stay dressed for 10 days

but I could only stay dressed over the weekend with going back and forth.
had to go get my mail and run some errands that could not get done in female mode as I have to show ID


so you show ID.

[linda allen]

Since I’m seriously considering transitioning to fulltime, I came up with the idea of a self imposed immersion into the world of femininity. .........................

That seems like a good start. Of course, you still have to go outside and mingle with real people, clothes and boobs arent the entire experience.

Do take notes and let us know how it goes.

[Sara Jessica]

You seem to have gotten some really good advice here.

I'll be curious to hear how the dressing-to-the-nines-non-stop thing is working for you. I was glad to read your acknowledgement that the typical woman out there doesn't necessarily dress in that manner on a routine basis, it shows that you are at least somewhat grounded in this whole thing. But at what point will you retreat into casual? Also, is it fair to assume you are presenting 24/7 as female including all errands? That would seem to be an important part of this.

[Sarasometimes]

If you can do these experiments I think that is a good start to figure out where you should head. My only question is that if this is a month long process your piercings and possibly your brow shape may last long and by the end of the month you will still be in starter studs. I think reading the standard would be a great guide. I have tried this every so often when the family is away for a day or so and it is great for two reasons. Firstly I get to fill my need for Sara time but I also reaffirm that I don't want to be Sara 24/7.
Good luck and if you think transition is the way, you may want to find a therapist/doctor to start working with. HRT should only be done under doctor's care. Many potential health implications you need to know about.

[Jenny_S]

ReineD,

Thanks for the post. I look forward to reading it for no other reason but curiosity as I do not wish to go that route.

JS

[Jennifer in CO]

Reine, your so right on about "male privilege" disappearing. When I transitioned, my work was very supportive (and this was 1979) and I quickly rose to lead then dept supervisor...and that was it. The glass-ceiling was reached. Also, as a woman, I had to prove myself everyday. Years after transition, if I came in late one morning there was no "official" comment made, but there was plenty of negative feedback. Same for leaving early; but as a guy, either was no big deal. The list goes on... BUT, would I go back to full-time fem? In a heartbeat...

Jenn

[Ceri Anne]

Good luck, and like others here have said, you need to do your erands and everything in full femme to really get the experience. I have never had a problem showing my ID in businesses, no body comments, sometimes I even get approving comments or smiles. I was scared to death when I got pulled over for speeding (really it wasn't my fault) lol. But the officer was very professional.

[famousunknown]

Good luck, and like others here have said, you need to do your erands and everything in full femme to really get the experience. I have never had a problem showing my ID in businesses, no body comments, sometimes I even get approving comments or smiles.

Yes, I’ve been full femme since this past Saturday night. I'm well over 100 hrs. into this now.
I’ve gone to the post office, shopping a couple of times, etc. It's been quite an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Having boobs 24/7 has probably been the biggest adjustment for me personally so far, and of course the gel nails. Let me tell you ladies, long nails require a very different technique when typing on a PC keyboard. And having boobs fulltime, you will bump into things sometimes, it just happens. When you just dress occasionally, you can’t fully really appreciate what being 24/7 is like. As I said, I’m getting my piercings done tomorrow, I'm pretty excited about that. And if I can keep my confidence built up, I may go to a casino in Biloxi tomorrow night.

[carhill2mn]

I think that you are wise to trying living full-time as a woman before doing anything that can't be reversed. However, IMHO, there are many things fully as important in doing this as how you look.

Being able to function in the world around you is extremely important. Living your everyday life will be very different. Little
things that you now do without even thinking will require some planning and effort. I have no idea as to how you will look
when presenting as a woman but you do need to be able to deal with possible unpleasant encounters.

I hope that things go well for you.

[ReineD]

Having boobs 24/7 has probably been the biggest adjustment for me personally so far, and of course the gel nails. When you just dress occasionally, you can’t really appreciate what being fulltime is like. As I said, I’m getting my piercings done tomorrow, and may go to a casino in Biloxi tomorrow night.

Not to continue to harp on this and I know that you can only take it one step at a time, but being full time is a lot more than presenting as a woman to do errands or have a social evening out in public, among strangers. Most strangers will either read you or not depending on their abilities to read the more subtle gender cues and also the length of time and the degree to which you are interacting with them. But even if they do read you, your brief presence in their day will not cause any other reaction than to look at you with interest. Soon after you leave, they will carry on with their affairs and put you out of their minds, as we all do with the strangers that we interact with on a daily basis.

This is not the case with employers, family, friends, and community members that you deal with on a regular basis, for example a boss who might be concerned about the clients' reactions to a transitioning employee, or the parents of the little girl who is friends with your own daughter and who has frequent sleepovers at your house. It is the interaction with people who are in your life that is a better test of a real life experience.

I do understand that you first must test how you feel as a woman among strangers though, before telling everyone else in your life about your gender identity. But please know that the reactions you will get from strangers will be quite different than the reactions from the people that you know. This is not to say that your family, friends, acquaintances, and business associates will not be accepting. They may well be, however the general consensus is that society still has a ways to go before it becomes fully accepting of TSs.

[kellycan27]

Not to continue to harp on this and I know that you can only take it one step at a time, but being full time is a lot more than presenting as a woman to do errands or have a social evening out in public, among strangers. Most strangers will either read you or not depending on their abilities to read the more subtle gender cues and also the length of time and the degree to which you are interacting with them. But even if they do read you, your brief presence in their day will not cause any other reaction than to look at you with interest. Soon after you leave, they will carry on with their affairs and put you out of their minds, as we all do with the strangers that we interact with on a daily basis.

This is not the case with employers, family, friends, and community members that you deal with on a regular basis, for example a boss who might be concerned about the clients' reactions to a transitioning employee, or the parents of the little girl who is friends with your own daughter and who has frequent sleepovers at your house. It is the interaction with people who are in your life that is a better test of a real life experience.

I do understand that you first must test how you feel as a woman among strangers though, before telling everyone else in your life about your gender identity. But please know that the reactions you will get from strangers will be quite different than the reactions from the people that you know. This is not to say that your family, friends, acquaintances, and business associates will not be accepting. They may well be, however the general consensus is that society still has a ways to go before it becomes fully accepting of TSs.

So true... Barely the tip of the ice berg.

[famousunknown]

This is not the case with employers, family, friends, and community members that you deal with on a regular basis, for example a boss who might be concerned about the clients' reactions to a transitioning employee, or the parents of the little girl who is friends with your own daughter and who has frequent sleepovers at your house. It is the interaction with people who are in your life that is a better test of a real life experience.

Reine, you are absolutely correct. Fortunately I'm able to work from home right now, and have very little interaction with the associates in my company. My funds are directly deposited, so I'm thankful for that. I feel very lucky that at this stage in my life, I’m able to carry out this experiment with minimal hassle. I’m looking forward to interacting with a lot of people this weekend, starting tomorrow when I go to have my piercings done and then go shopping.

[Aprilrain]

The challenge is adjusting to REAL LIFE as a woman AND the emotional and mental changes that come with taking hormones NOT wether one can tolerate excessive and tedious grooming for days on end. I would suggest that you find a qualified therapist if you don't already have one. Find a support group, talk to real TSes about transition. See if you can relate to their life experiences. Post questions about living full time in the TS section. Transition is serious and heartbreaking stuff I would not do it if my life didn't depend on it. just my 2 cents

April

[Badtranny]

Let me tell you ladies, long nails require a very different technique when typing on a PC keyboard.

That's why we don't have long nails. There isn't a single woman in my office who has nails long enough to inhibit typing.



And having boobs fulltime, you will bump into things sometimes, it just happens.

Nope.

[famousunknown]

That's why we don't have long nails. There isn't a single woman in my office who has nails long enough to inhibit typing. Nope.

Well I'm just relating my own personal experience. I realize that I've probably gone a bit extreme with the longer nails, wearing only dresses or skirts all week, etc.

[famousunknown]

Ok…so almost 3 weeks dressing fulltime femme 24/7. It’s been quite an experience so far. I’ve had to re-apply the glue
on my forms a couple of times, but I now feel naked w/o them. Strangely enough, my feet seem to have also gotten used to wearing heels, as I don’t feel right now w/o heels. Yes, I guess it was inevitable, but I’ve gotten some comments, stares, at the mall, but also many compliments. You balance the bad with the overwhelmingly positive, and it’s all good. That’s life in the femme lane, so far. Overall...I LOVE it.
Yes, I’m now very seriously considering hormones. More details later.