I Feel Terrible

[Intertwined]

I heard a rumor today that has me just sick, my employer may be changing the dress code for drivers, to include NOT being able to wear a skirt while on duty, and the reason for this change is ME.

Now I have NEVER worn anything feminine while on duty, so you might ask "why does this bother you", because, we have some Lady drivers, that in my 20+ years, I have never seen them wear anything other than a skirt. It just makes me sick that, my fellow co-workers are going to pay a price because my employer is afraid of what I might do.

I have got to find a way to fix this...

[Tracii G]

Ask the ladies how they feel about it?
Are you a driver too?
What I mean do you interact with the public at work in a skirt?
What you do on your own time shouldn't affect work.

[Wildaboutheels]

Clearly you were never in the Military were you?

Maybe it's some kinda ploy/play in the military to keep people jumpy. Rumors, that is. They are rampant. Maybe it's just a Navy thing.

Sure it's not a coworker, trying to jerk your chain?

If you have been there 20+ years, I seriously doubt he would be making a change now because of YOU.

[AmberDay]

Oh, tough one to reply to. A year ago, my supervisor started getting onto me for wearing earrings. (I'm a city transit bus driver) He told me to take them out. I told him that it did not violate any dress code regs. He told me that guys shouldn't be wearing earrings. I pulled him off to the side and warned him that if he wants to make an issue of this I have NO problems taking this up the chain. I would even out myself if need be to stop discrimination. My earrings are a representation of my identity while not dressed. I don't know your occupation, but if you are union, call them. If not, check the local laws in your area to see if it is legal to discriminate over clothing. Is it a safety issue? I know you stated you are a driver, would a skirt cause a safety concern getting in or out of your vehicle? Try to find out the real reason they are changing the policy.

It is a gray area for the discrimination argument, but do you do sales with customers while driving? Can't quote the source <disclaimer: unable to site source; one of thousands of trans related stuff I read off of the net and no way to determine if true or not>, but I read about an incident about a mtf transgender who sold furniture for a store. They initially told her they would not discriminate her based on her identity, BUT after she started working as a female their sales dropped drastically and had many complaints from customers that didn't want to do business with a transsexual working there. They ended up reassigning her to a office job, but that came with a huge pay cut. Depending on what you do, your employer may have a point. A crappy one, but still.

[ReineD]

Marshall, the importance here is for YOU to be OK with the new dress code, for yourself. But I have a question: if you've never worn a skirt for work, why do you think your employer is changing the rules because of you?

As to the female bus drivers, don't worry about them. Really. I don't know them, but judging by all the GGs that I do know and that I see walking around everyday, most wear pants anyway. And I should think it would be a great deal more comfortable to wear pants than a skirt for driving buses? :)

[Intertwined]

I got this information in confidence from a Staff member, they were going to change it last month, but forgot to clear it with the union first.

It appears to stem from last years employee of the year ceremony, where I was nominated, and accepted my nomination wearing a skirt & heels. Keep in mind this is an off duty event, held in a theater type setting.

My employer has always known I am transgendered, and I have quite often come to work in a skirt, but, change to proper work attire before clocking in.

[AmberDay]

File a grievance immediately! I threatened to go to the Union after my supervisor told me to take my earrings out!

[GaleWarning]

If you don't wear a skirt at work and don't intend to, the problem is not yours to own.
For a start, it is only a rumour at this stage - it may very well be untrue.
If it does turn out to be true, then it is up to your female co-workers to decide how they feel about the issue.

Don't ever blame yourself for problems such as this.
Your boss is the one with the problem, and it may have nothing to do with you anyway.

Stop stressing!!!

[Intertwined]

Stop stressing!!!

Thank you Clayfish.

You obviously don't know me, I'm very good at stressing... :Pullhair:

[noeleena]

Hi,

What i would say is wear clothes that are approprete for the job in hand .

Im a builder & id be stupid to wear a skirt & heels on the building site, as you know i worked on roofs & the like ,so i wont ,

Its allways been wear for the job & be safe , as a woman on the job its no different .

I have my own trucks 15 ton 2 of , & though i prefer skirts id rather wear shorts driveing, its really about being sensable with what ever your doing .

No matter . what ever you wear to the job is not any one else's concern on the job needs to be dealt with at the top, he who pays you is the boss, no one else. see him or her first hand .

...noeleena...

[donnalee]

Thank you Clayfish.

You obviously don't know me, I'm very good at stressing... :Pullhair:Which is likely why you got told this. Some folks just like to watch others freak out. Don't feel bad about it; I've known a few female bus drivers in my time and messing with them is the last thing you want to do!

[Raychel]

There is no way that I could live with myself if this were happening and I was the cause of it.

I woudl ask the person in charge of making the rules if this is truely the case. that there was going to be a rule about not wearing skirts.
If that person says that it is possible, then outright ask why. and explain that it would not be fair to the women that wear skirts if you are in fact the cause.
It would be tough on you, but you may have to change your dressing attiire for the sake of the cause.

I know that is what I would do, I may not like it myself, but that is what I would do.

[linda allen]

I heard a rumor today that has me just sick, my employer may be changing the dress code for drivers, to include NOT being able to wear a skirt while on duty, and the reason for this change is ME.

Now I have NEVER worn anything feminine while on duty, so you might ask "why does this bother you", because, we have some Lady drivers, that in my 20+ years, I have never seen them wear anything other than a skirt. It just makes me sick that, my fellow co-workers are going to pay a price because my employer is afraid of what I might do.

I have got to find a way to fix this...

If you don't wear a skirt to work and don't intend to, it's not your problem and you don't have to "fix" this. If the female drivers have a problem with the dress code, they should take it up with the company, supervisor, or whatever. They can't come after you, you did no wrong.

I can't really see your company telling the female workers they can't wear skirts because they are afraid "Joe" might wear one.

[Beverley Sims]

They are trying to rattle your chains, rattle theirs a little harder.

[NicoleScott]

Maybe there's a good reason. Have you asked?
For example, ambulance personnel have restrictions on jewelry, and for a good reason.

[kimdl93]

Choose your battles carefully.

[Karren H]

We hear rumors all the time at work and none of them ever come true..... what usually comes down from up high is much much worse that any rumor....

[Chickhe]

I would be surpised if your union accepted the change. Send them a heads up that you will make it in to a big deal and many of the woman support you... sounds like its a fair rule if it is applied to both genders, but yet at the same time, if you are made out to be the cause of the change and the woman are made to beleive that, then they are still discriminating and they are causing a hostile work environemnt...talk to a lawyer and record what you were told by whom and when...

[DonnaT]

Just go to your supervisor and tell them they needn't change the dress code, because you have no intention of ever driving in a skirt. Tell them they can change the dress code if you ever do, and they won't hear a peep out of you, union-wise.

However, maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe a customer complained about one of the other drivers not being discreet when exiting or entering her vehicle?

[GaleWarning]

Let's play "What if?"
What if the rumour is true and your boss says no-one may wear skirts or dresses at work.

Here's a true story ... back in the 70s the university I attended insisted that we HAD to wear a tie when attending a lecture.
Each of us went out and bought the most hideous tie we could find. Just before we entered the lecture theatre, we would make a great show of putting on our ties. As we left the lecture theatre, we would remove our ties.
The lecturers were under the same obligation ... at the start of one physics lecture, it was obvious that the professor was distracted ... about ten minutes into the lecture, he abruptly left the room and returned about three minute later, WEARING THE TIE HE HAD FORGOTTEN TO PUT ON!

Get the gals and guys at work to do something similar ... all of you wear a skirt to work, change into your working clothes when you arrive and change out of them immediately work is over.

That should take the piss out of your boss and piss him off!

[famousunknown]

I got this information in confidence from a Staff member, they were going to change it last month, but forgot to clear it with the union first.

It appears to stem from last years employee of the year ceremony, where I was nominated, and accepted my nomination wearing a skirt & heels. Keep in mind this is an off duty event, held in a theater type setting.
My employer has always known I am transgendered, and I have quite often come to work in a skirt, but, change to proper work attire before clocking in.

JMHO, but I don't think it was a good move to wear a skirt to an employee of the year ceremony, even if it was off duty.

[Tracii G]

Being an ex Teamster truck driver companies love to start rumors and get the employees pitting against each other.Its an old page from the the employers trick handbook.
The company should know you are smart enough to know about gender identity laws.
Don't play their game and have your ducks in a row before hand.
Now we know you went to a company function in a skirt so they could construe that as being too different even if it was off company property.
Again the law is on your side.

[Stephanie47]

Wear a really nice masculine kilt! :) The women too!

[Eryn]

If management is telling GGs that they cannot wear a garment that was previously acceptable then they're asking to go to war. The GGs will term it sex discrimination and management will likely let it drop.

[Intertwined]

I would be surpised if your union accepted the change. Send them a heads up that you will make it in to a big deal and many of the woman support you... sounds like its a fair rule if it is applied to both genders, but yet at the same time, if you are made out to be the cause of the change and the woman are made to beleive that, then they are still discriminating and they are causing a hostile work environemnt...talk to a lawyer and record what you were told by whom and when...

Chickhe, Thank You, some excellent points there. I was considering contacting the Union, they may not get told the same story that I was told.


JMHO, but I don't think it was a good move to wear a skirt to an employee of the year ceremony, even if it was off duty.

Dangerous, yes, but I still think it was a good thing to do, at least for my piece of mind, I am also in contact with a couple of the GSA's at our High Schools, they applauded what I did.


Being an ex Teamster truck driver companies love to start rumors and get the employees pitting against each other.Its an old page from the the employers trick handbook.
The company should know you are smart enough to know about gender identity laws.
Don't play their game and have your ducks in a row before hand.
Now we know you went to a company function in a skirt so they could construe that as being too different even if it was off company property.
Again the law is on your side.

We are also Teamster, Local 952, I should probably talk to them.

This is a clip from our own "Nondiscrimination in Employment"; The Board of Trustees prohibits unlawful discrimination against and/or harassment of District employees or job applicants on the basis of their sex, actual or perceived gender...


If management is telling GGs that they cannot wear a garment that was previously acceptable then they're asking to go to war. The GGs will term it sex discrimination and management will likely let it drop.

Skirts & Dresses have been the norm for many of our drivers for the 14 years I have worked there...


There is no way that I could live with myself if this were happening and I was the cause of it.

I woudl ask the person in charge of making the rules if this is truely the case. that there was going to be a rule about not wearing skirts.
If that person says that it is possible, then outright ask why. and explain that it would not be fair to the women that wear skirts if you are in fact the cause.
It would be tough on you, but you may have to change your dressing attiire for the sake of the cause.

I know that is what I would do, I may not like it myself, but that is what I would do.

Thats what I have already done, I wrote a very professional letter and sent it to the head of our department, stating that I am a Crossdresser, that I have never worn any women's clothing while on duty, and that I have no intention of wearing women's clothing while on duty.

What I am being told, is that someone? on the school board, is concerned of what a parent would say, when a man in a skirt driving a school bus, picks up their child for school.

I begged, asking that they not do this, explained WHY it bothers me so much that they are changing a rule that doesn't effect me in the 1st place (never have, and never intended to wear women's clothing on duty), that a lot of Good people will suffer because they are affraid that I would do something, that I was never going to do.

I wanted to add, but was wise enough to leave out; There are a LOT of other articles of women's clothing that I could wear other than a skirt.

LOL, interesting point, I just went to the Employee section of our Districts website, and on that page, they rotate through photos of prior winners of Employee of the Year, guess who's photo I saw....? that's right me... this is a strange ride.

[heatherdress]

Seems like you are going to fight a battle for something that won't affect you. If you do not intend to dress at work then this potential policy only bothers you because you think it "might" be the result of your wearing heels and skirt to an event last year. You most likely would never be able to substantiate that, so take it easy on yourself. Many occupations have dress codes so I do not think other women drivers wear skirts will have to "suffer" and simply wear pants. Most female uniformed bus drivers and transit workers I have seen wear pants.
Maybe no one else will really care. Maybe there are other reasons for the policy change. Maybe there were complaints from parents when you wore skirt and heels to the ceremony last year and the school board had to do something. Maybe your union should push to get everyone a clothing allowance or uniforms if new dress codes are necessary. Maybe ...maybe...maybe...
By the way, it took balls to wear the outfit you did to an employee of the year event. Wow! You obviously are good at your job for being nominated. You clearly have guts. Just try to ease your way out of responsibility for something that might or might not happen. Congratulations for your nomination.

[ReineD]

Marshall, were the GGs required to wear skirts before, or did they have a choice between skirts and pants. Also, have you asked the GGs how they would feel about wearing pants? Is there anyone that you are on friendly terms with that you could ask?


Most female uniformed bus drivers and transit workers I have seen wear pants.
Maybe no one else will really care. Maybe there are other reasons for the policy change.

I agree with this. Honestly, as a GG I can't imagine another GG believing that her rights are violated just because of a uniform change. And I personally would much prefer to drive a bus wearing pants than a skirt. Someone posted a thread a few days ago about having been in a restaurant where all the wait staff, male and female, were wearing the same men's white shirts no less, and black pants! It is not gender discrimination, in my opinion, to have the same dress code for everyone.

OK .. now I'm going to ask a difficult question. Why do you think it is such a travesty that women should wear pants? Why do you think they would hate the new potential dress code?

[Intertwined]

I learned the Director forwarded my letter to the school board a week ago, and that the board has decided to put a hold on changing the dress code.

I do not know if it was because of my letter, or, another reason entirely.

Very Relieved.

[Intertwined]

OK .. now I'm going to ask a difficult question. Why do you think it is such a travesty that women should wear pants? Why do you think they would hate the new potential dress code?

Personally, I don't think driving in a skirt is a good idea, a driver is responsible for evacuating the students in an emergency, bus fire, traffic accident, roll over, and wearing loose clothing in such a scenario probably isn't a good idea.

I have spoke with 3 lady drivers that were very upset about the possible change, these are some of the ladies that I mentioned before, that I have never seen wear anything other than skirts or dresses.

The ONLY reason I was upset about the change, is because they were changing the rules because of ME and the fear of something that I had no intension of doing.

[Krististeph]

I feel SO bad for you- and i am usually ms uber positive.

as a guy i would probably immediately start crossdressing (professional look) and egg the ******* into doing something stupid.

as a girl/cd- i'd probably cry, load up some .208... no- that's really not what we are.
but i'd sure like to **** him over in a dozen ways to eden... hey- let us know what company to stop doing business with.

a really really smart person once told me the best way to hurt someone with money is to cut off their access to money...

or even better yet- not just the company- but the specific division- peer competition will easily kill this guy's job... just let us know- a few emails, a 10% drop in productivity..

piss off a CD-- piss off million people.... in the states alone.