Not at all what I was expecting

[I Am Paula]

While my wife was at a doctors appt. today I went to the hospital coffee shop for some breakfast, it was seven a.m. and I had already driven 100 miles today. The woman next to me gave me a couple of looks, which, as usual, I shrugged off. As I was sugaring my coffee she walked right up to me and out of the blue asked "Are you gay, or do you just dress like that?" I wanted to come back at her with a zinger of a rude remark, but went with the 'better honey than vinegar' approach. "This is just the way I'm most comfortable". Once again, I was waiting for the slanderous, misguided generalization, or fire and brimstone condemnation, when she replied "Good for you. My son's gay, and I haven't seen him for awhile. By the way, you look terrific". We shared a table, and chatted for a few minutes.
She brightened up my morning.

[Angela Campbell]

See, there are some nice people out there.

[Wildaboutheels]

Quite a strange encounter. Might I inquire what her demeanor was when she first approached? And did she go on to explain WHY she had not seen her gay son in a while?

And good for you for giving her the benefit of the doubt!

[bridget thronton]

Happy ending to what might have been a bad encounter

[Brianna612]

When we react with confidence and respect, the outcome is usually positive. If we act defensive then their reaction is usually offensive. When we are confronted it is up to us to be respectful of others. Only then will we be respected.
Great answer and I’m sure the ensuing conversation was wonderful.

[Ava Tryptyk]

Did you (politely) enlighten this woman about the fact that most crossdressers are actually heterosexual? You did a good thing by being positive and polite.

[Stephanie47]

It's so nice to have encounters where neither party is judgmental of the others without regard to the subject. Although she may not have seen her son for awhile, it would appear she is accepting of his sexuality.

[Alicia Nicole]

Good on you. An honest, sincere, response diffused what could have a totally different outcome. Sounds like an interesting coffee. Hope she paid...lol

[RADER]

You handled that very well; I guess there are some people out their that do
not mind if we enjoy ourselves.
Rader

[Cynthia Anne]

Great little story! The world could use more like her!

[Tara D. Rose]

I hate to sound like a dummy here even though I am not blonde, but tgirlceleste, were you dressed as a woman? What were you wearing?

[Kelli Ca]

That's so awesome, you brightened up my day, thanks

[Beverley Sims]

A straight candid reply can be most disarming to an agressive approach.

[I Am Paula]

Good question Tara, I'm always dressed in women's clothes, but I was in male mode. The only difference is boobs, heels, and make up. So I was wearing ballet flats, skinny jeans, a silk blouse, and carrying a purse. I have long hair and painted nails.
Two things that make this story odd. I'm in Canada, so there are almost no confrontations. Our muggers say please and thank you. All I really get are the occasional long looks.
The other was the directness, and abruptness of her question, practically a 'hands on the hips, hey you' kind of thing.
The most important thing is she turned out to be a real sweety, so perhaps she is just a real upfront kind of person.

[Annie D]

I think that the more people who "come out", whatever their transgenderism might be, the more that we all become more accepted, especially by the relatives and close acquaintances of us. When reading your thread, I thought when she said, "my son is gay and I haven't seen him for awhile" told me that her heart was breaking and by talking with you, it might start mending itself. I hope you got her name and can let her know how important it would be to reconnect with her son. Thank you for sharing your encounter it brightened my day!

[Thera Home]

She brightened up my morning.

Thanks for making US look good. I admire your courage in the face of curosity.
It also sounds that she's longing to talk to someone in regards to her son.

Thera

[Lillyasia]

It can be easy to become defensive with direct remarks like hers. Good for you on taking the high road and giving her the chance to get to know you. I like your response too. I'll have to use that one if I ever get out.

[Wildaboutheels]

So she WAS one of "those" people. Couth, tact or diplomacy were clearly not her strong suite. That might account for her [at least for the time being] lack of contact with her son. It seems likely that her slightly confrontational approach with you is how she deals with her son.

Your handling of the situation is why it is always good to give people the benefit of the doubt IMO until their intent is perfectly clear.

[erickka]

I have to agree, that was a bit strange, but at least she was nice about it. I so hate the stereoype that all of us who wear women's clothes are gay. It is a knpwn fact that at least 67% of crossdressers are hetero, and most are married. You handled the situation nicely, and receiving the results that you did, just proves that we are just good (and real) people too!

[reb.femme]

I wanted to come back at her with a zinger of a rude remark, but went with the 'better honey than vinegar' approach.

I doth my bonnet to you Miss! My first reaction is generally to go nuclear! As you say though, it all worked out OK, whereas for me,.......the least said the better. :o

It really does prove that you can't judge a book by it's cover.....apparently!

Rebecca

[Anna Abwaerts]

Key ingredients for a nice time:
1) hospital coffee shop
2) 7 AM
When I was at different hospitals, all people seem a bit concerned, nervous, with a sense of brotherhood ... because everybody is afraid to die or hear the bad news from docs... that what unites those people.
And morning by itself is a nice time, nobody got caught by the daily stress yet.

[DeeDeeB]

My best response to the WTF look is a big smile. Has worked every time so far. As to the "are you gay" question, I still have not had the opportunity to respond "I try to remain cheerful, but I really can't say I'm gay".

Dee :fairy1:

[STACY B]

That just goes to show ya that most people are just curious ,,, Hell tell ,,,They better not ask me cuz I will give all they can stand ,,, I show be loven to talk Lady talk ,,, An if they want to go the Fire an Brimstone rout we can go there to ,,, So pull up a chair Lady an name ya POISON !!!

[kimdl93]

Turns out the honey was way better than a zinger, wasn't it.

[becky77]

Great response, I admire your confidence to just be yourself.

[linda allen]

Good question Tara, I'm always dressed in women's clothes, but I was in male mode. The only difference is boobs, heels, and make up. So I was wearing ballet flats, skinny jeans, a silk blouse, and carrying a purse. I have long hair and painted nails............... .

That would not be "male mode" in my view. What is your difference between what you were wearing and "women's clothes"?

[Jennifer W]

what a great story! these types of encounters are rare!

[ChrisP]

Thank you for sharing that story.
In my spiritual practices (for want of a better word), one of the harder lessons for me is to not place expectations on an event (or people).

It doesn't mean we aren't prepared for what happens next, but rather, we greet it in a calm and open fashion (even if it is unpleasant).

Your encounter was with a woman who it turns out meant no harm, even if her words were not so carefully chosen.
You probably made her day in allowing her to interact with you in what (for her at least) was a non-judgmental way.

I wonder if she regrets things she might have said to her own son, when maybe she wasn't so open....

You've reminded me to breathe deeply before adding to the unpleasantness in this world.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Celest, You just never know that was amazing.