My CDing friend has come out to a couple more people!

[crossdressersfriend GG]

I haven't been around in a while, mostly because things have been quiet on the CDing front around here.

But I did want to write and say that my CDing friend who had never told ANYONE about his dressing until we became friends in January has now told 2 more people. One happens to be my best friend and the other is his best friend. Both of our friends are accepting, mine doesn't really want to know much, but at least now I have someone to talk to about it if I need to, beside you all. :)

Coming to these boards when I had no clue about what to say or do was such a big help. It gave me the understanding and right things to say when I needed them. It helped me encourage but not push him to be who he is to the people he cares about. He still won't tell his girlfriend and I doubt that will change, but at least it is out there a little more than it was a year ago. I think he feels a little better about himself knowing that people are going to like him no matter what he wears, it's the person not the clothes.

[TxKimberly]

I think he is very fortunate to have good friends like you. :)

The thing is, it is kind of a slippery slope when you start telling people. You get comfortable with the idea, and start telling more and more people, until suddenly you run into that one irrational person that HATES the idea - and now they know something that you might not want shared with others you didn't choose. . .

[sissystephanie]

If a CD won't tell his own friends that he is a crossdresser, it usually is because he doesn't admit to himself that he is. As you said at the end of your last paragraph, it is the person not the clothes. I dress as a female almost every day, but since my dear wife passed away I wear no makeup nor do I wear a wig. I am a man wearing womens clothing, skirt, dress, or whatever I feel like putting on. The thing is, I wear those clothes and walk around in them like I belong in them. Because how I dress is my business, and no one elses!! In the last seven years I have been going almost every day dressed as Stephanie, but looking like the man that I am, and no one has said a thing to me!! Well, except to ask where I bought the skirt or dress I was wearing!! Most people just don't care!!

[crossdressersfriend GG]

I think he is very fortunate to have good friends like you. :)

The thing is, it is kind of a slippery slope when you start telling people. You get comfortable with the idea, and start telling more and more people, until suddenly you run into that one irrational person that HATES the idea - and now they know something that you might not want shared with others you didn't choose. . .

ITA I do worry about that and i worry that he pushes it too much with who he has told. As soon as he told his friend he wanted to show him pictures! I told him to back off and let it sink in before you show him pictures, that might do more harm than good. I know he's excited but take it SLOWWW LOL!

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree he's very lucky to have you as a friend! I can only imagine having someone to talk to and that has GOOD advice too! Hugs!

[Rogina B]

Kimberly nailed it! There are always some people that you thought would be cool with the whole idea of it,that aren't,when you show them in person or a pic,etc. Their image of you must fall apart in their mind or something. However,you can't take it back and you can't control whom they share it with,cause they will eventually..lol And some GGs aren't so easily accepting of a male getting to infiltrate the fun aspects of their world,and skip the other parts.. Your friend should give the sharing a break and observe for a while,in my opinion.

[Beverley Sims]

The trouble is there are no constants and every situation is different.

[kimdl93]

I'm glad to hear your friend has grown to be more open about his CDing. Being "out" to close friends and family can really help a person's self esteem. Perhaps he's beginning to to realize his intrisic value as a person.

[Angela Campbell]

There is a song by Billy Joel that kind of explains things.

"well we all have a face that we hide away forever
and we bring it out and show ourselves when everyone is gone"

We all are actors to a degree. No one really sees all of us. We have a presentation and that is how we are perceived by most around us. Different people see different faces. At work they see one person, at home another, out in a crowd maybe another. When someone has an image of you that is how they perceive you are. To have a sudden change is very uncomfortable for most as we feel like what we knew , or thought we knew was all wrong. I suspect this is why a lot of marriages fail. We present ourselves in a certain light to attract and woo a potential partner and that is how they perceive us. Then after setting up a household it gets harder to keep the presentation going 24 hours a day. At some point the face starts to come off and a different face comes on. The slow change is hard to see sometimes but slowly things change so the person we are with is not the one we thought we were with. Sometimes this is fine and we adjust and even fall more in love. Sometimes it doesn't and the feelings fade and even simple things start to aggrivate us and the problems begin.

So outing to someone is something I would be very careful about because the image they have of you could be shatterred and there is no telling how that can effect the relationship.