For those of you with SOs...

[Wildaboutheels]

A simple question. Maybe.

If you did NOT have a SO [and/or kids] living with you, do you think you would spend a lot more time en femme at home or out in the RW?

[bridget thronton]

More time out in the real world

[Eryn]

Probably not. The pattern of my dressing might change but I don't think that I would dress any more. Mimi likes to go out, so I probably go out more that I would if I were alone.

[Amanda_P]

I believe I would be out in the real world more. But it is a small town so most of my dressing would still be at home.

[WifeofWrenchette]

My husband (Wrenchette) said no. He gets to dress whenever and wherever he wants.

[heatherdress]

My wife is very supportive. I dress every day already.

[linda allen]

I dress just about all the time at home when I'm not out or expecting company. If I wasn't married, I would go out dressed, but away from my neighborhood.

That said, I love my wife and would not trade her for the opportunity to go out dressed. I wouldn't trade her for anything.

[Jillian Faith]

I'd probably dress less without the support of my SO

[jillleanne]

Probably less if anything because I'd probably be doing the guy things I enjoy like restoring cars, etc. I'm out anyway so not a biggie to me.

[Crissy Kay]

Yes, I would spend more time dressed if I was living alone.

[Ceri Anne]

Absolutly I would. I dress 3/4 of the nights I'm away from home already, and would dress at home if I could. I love to go out dressed and would do so more, but as Linda said, I love my wife and kids and wouldn't trade them to dress more (even though I may think about it)

[xdressed]

No, I would probably still be deeply ashamed of it, it was only with the support of my SO that I realised I have nothing to be guilty about and started to better understand this side of myself.

[Renee W]

I am very fortunate to have a very supportive SO, so I can dress anytime I like. It does not bother her the least to see Renee early on the weekends, late in the evening or getting out of bed. I guess it's this way because she also gets to see her husband early on the weekends, going to work, coming home from work and late in the evening. I don't dress full time at home, maybe 50%, so it's always a surprise when I come in the room. My wife will even kid me on weekends because I might change back and forth a half dozen times or more in one day. This past Sunday it went like this....

Woke up, Renee put on a Shirtdress, short wig and made coffee and breakfast, then watched a little TV.
Around 10, I was in guy mode to go work on some yard stuff.
A little before 1, I was back inside, quick shower, and wearing a skirt and draped neck blouse, short hair again. Did some cleaning, got ready for the race.
4:30 rolls around, so I change into some sweats so I can cook dinner, feed the dogs, clean the kitchen.
7 o'clock and Renee is back, this time wearing a mid length, black sleeveless, pearls (well, fake ones), long hair and heels. We watch TV until 10.
Time to change again, but this time it's into a night gown.

As I said, there will be some days when Renee doesn't come out to play. May get home today and just not feel like it after I cook and clean.

[EllenJo]

I would dress more. I love my wife but she is only moderately supportive and we live with DADT. If I lived alone EllenJo would be around a lot more.

[Cheryl T]

RW for sure. I spend most of my time at home en femme now so that would not change.
I would probably spend all of my time dressed except for the time I spend at work (uniform required). That would all change in about 3 years when I retire and I would surely then go full time....and see where that leads.

[kimdl93]

The question would seem to assume a disapproving SO. Since mine is quite accepting, I spend most of my time at home and a good deal of time in the RW en femme.

[Beverley Sims]

Without ties I would eventually go 24/7.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife is totally accepting, so I wouldn't see a change in total dressing. I could see that I might get out more because I would have more need to socialize. Lucky that I don't have to find out if this will be true.

[STACY B]

Yea ,,,, But thank god I'm not alone ,,, Cuz I know for a fact I would be dressing like a Hooker an would look Stupid ! My SO is the one that says ,,,, Your NOT wearing that ? Yea ,,, NO your NOT !! You look like A HOOKER !! SEE ,, I TOLD YA !!

[VS Fan]

Would DEFINITELY dress a LOT more at home (probably every waking moment when not at work, whereas now I get only a few hours a week) - and would likely be more brave to go out. I have no interesting in TRADING my family for this freedom of course and will continue to accept the DADT situation and enjoy my freedom when I travel (although that's pretty few/far between)... VS Fan

[Leah Lynn]

I probably would have transitioned long ago.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I would be dressing less. It's early days, but i told my SO before she was my SO, we were still...."in discusion"

She is very OK with it. If I decide to be out of the closet, she's OK with that too. She has said that if anyone questions my orientation in her hearing she'll set them straight. She is NOT, encouraging me to dress, it's MY decision. I think she actually wants me to do so, as it fits with her feminist attitudes, but there is no way in the world, that she is going to push me that way. I have spent the evening at her place in a skirt, no difference in her attitude to me in any way.

[bobbimo]

I would be out in the RW much more.
But its ever so much fun to share this with my wife, even if she wont let me loose.
I'm working on her tho.

[Kaz]

It is a good question... my immediate answer would be yes, and I would then dress female all the time around the house. No idea where that would lead...? My wife and I have discussed living separately (but still seeing each other!:) - just having different pads to live in - we never did that, as we met in a house-share) - and so I have thought about this! Right now I look forward to and take opportunities to dress. If the opportunity was there everyday and every moment at home I am not sure how it would play out... Initially it would be brilliant, longer term? Dunno!

[melissakozak]

Yes, definitely. Still only twice per week, though, instead of once per week....the social aspect of my femme life is most important. I love to go out and interact as my girl self....not as much fun to be me all by myself....each of us has different needs. Mine are simple: dress up and have fun going out....

[*ROXY*]

I can dress whenever I choose at home with the support of my S/O. I work from home but find dressing fully and working farrrr to distracting.
I know I would spend far too much money on new clothes, satin gowns everywhere and fortune on lingerie. She keeps the reins on my pink fog.
i would eventually go out en femme, closest I've been is girls jeans (loving them at the moment), also been outside in leggings (at night) to drag the bin out lol.
Would I trade my wife and kids for more opportunitys ? never. They're my world and this is my wonderful hobby :-)

[Meg East]

I have a supportive SO. When she is around I dress more than when she is gone.

[DAVIDA]

Honestly, I would probably still be in the back of the closet if it weren't for Jean.
We had Known each other for around nine years when we got back together and I asked her to marry me.
I told her at that time that I had to tell her something about me and it might have an influence on her answer.
I had never even said cross dresser out loud before much less tell anyone. But I felt like it was something I had to tell and let her make up her own mind if she wanted to be a part of this or not.
I was so scared of losing her, I was shaking.
After I told her, and I will never forget what she said, she said "So?"
She then said that things made more sense about the way that I am and it is something that is a part of me and I can't do anything to change it.
If I wasn't a CD, I would be completely different as a person and she probably wouldn't have fallen in love with me to begin with.
She has been the one to help me accept who and what I am.
Now, my family, friends, and neighbors know.
So, if I didn't have an SO, I would probably still be in the closet thinking that I was an abomination.

That was 22 years ago.

[laurieg]

She wants to to dress all the time she does my makeup takes the pictures and it was her idea to go to key west fl

[sandra-leigh]

Now that I am not working, I am making an effort to go out in skirt or dress whenever I go out alone in public, such as my appointments or banking or grocery shopping. Working on re-normalizing people's expectations of what I "usually" wear... working on getting into habit myself. This is part of "transitioning" for me: I am already publicly transgendered, but I am taking it further now. I need the experience and option of wearing "obvious" female clothes full-time, to prepare myself for the possibility of presenting that way during employment. (It's too late emotionally for me to go back to "male" clothes, and I don't know yet whether "borderline" or "obvious" is more acceptable for employment. )

But that's presentation in public. At home my wife asks me to not be obvious, as there are a couple of people in the house who aren't supposed to know. (I'm sure one of them does know, but we DADT to avoid them having to make a decision about it.)

This combination leads to some silly scenarios, such as me sitting out in the back lane for a while, waiting for the other people to clear away from the door so I can go in and change. It was a good 20 minutes...

Anyhow, Yes, if I was living alone, I would dress more at home. But I haven't worn wigs for a couple of years, so "dress more" means (e.g.) tossing on a skirt while I work on the computer, not getting fancied up.

[alisa63]

I have not come out to my SO...only my shrink, so yeah I really think I would dress more without her. I definity would dress more at home, which would probably allow me to practice make up, clothing style a lot more to the point where I would go out into the RW as Alisa. All that said, however, I wouldn't give up my SO for the opportunity to dress. Now if things don't work out with my SO for other reasons...look out world, here I come!

[reb.femme]

I would probably dress more because as I've said before, my wife signed up to me in man mode only. I dropped this side of me on her later, so for the sake of balance, I restrict the amount of time I'm en femme.

As a consequence, of more dressing, I would expect much more time in the real world too, as I love going out! :battingeyelashes:

Reb

[Meghan]

No, I would probably still be deeply ashamed of it, it was only with the support of my SO that I realised I have nothing to be guilty about and started to better understand this side of myself.

Exactly.

There is no doubt I would dress less. We've both agreed to not go through the whole "forced to dress" fiasco. It's never been a fantasy for me at that level. When I was young I would wish that someone put permanent make up on me, or that I could have breasts implanted in my sleep, or that I would be somehow locked into a feminine form forever. As I have grown that fantasy has faded.

I think the fantasy helped me accept it by displacing the decision away from me, hence the "forced" aspect. Now that I am OK with the choice itself, for the most part, I don't feel the need to be locked in, although that still could be fun for a night :)

My wife has lead me there and without her, I would probably just get dolled up with no place to go once or twice a month, and still be stuck and scared. That's not fun at all.

Meghan

[UNDERDRESSER]

Honestly, I would probably still be in the back of the closet if it weren't for Jean.
We had Known each other for around nine years when we got back together and I asked her to marry me.
I told her at that time that I had to tell her something about me and it might have an influence on her answer.
I had never even said cross dresser out loud before much less tell anyone. But I felt like it was something I had to tell and let her make up her own mind if she wanted to be a part of this or not.
I was so scared of losing her, I was shaking.
After I told her, and I will never forget what she said, she said "So?"
She then said that things made more sense about the way that I am and it is something that is a part of me and I can't do anything to change it.
If I wasn't a CD, I would be completely different as a person and she probably wouldn't have fallen in love with me to begin with.
She has been the one to help me accept who and what I am.
Now, my family, friends, and neighbors know.
So, if I didn't have an SO, I would probably still be in the closet thinking that I was an abomination.

That was 22 years ago.Oh, does this ever sound familiar! Same thing with my SO, we were still in friends mode, but it was starting to get very close, I said "honesty is important and so you should know this" then blurted it out. Her response was "Oh! Cool!" Don't think I could articulate a response for several seconds i was so stunned. Definitely a keeper if i have any say.

[ReineD]

My SO was single for about 10 years before s/he met me. He had a very small amount of clothes and accessories when we met, and she didn't dress all that often. She also only went out to a gender support group 2 hours away, about once every 2-3 months in addition to dressing at home privately sometimes. The need to express herself escalated only after she found an accepting partner in me, but now it has stabilized. He has reached a really good internal balance between his guy and girl lives and she goes out an average of twice per week, unless life gets crazy with other stuff and then it is less.

[Diversity]

I'd definitely spend much more time at home and would venture out into the real world much sooner, than I foresee myself doing at present.
Di

[Lorileah]

I can answer from experience...yes. And it was totally my fault suppressing it. My Gf would have allowed me to be 24/7 but I thought was impinging on her. I dress at least three times a week now.

(and technically, I don't have a SO right now but I answered anyway)

[Danielle Gee]

I'd say I'd probably dress less, cuz my Sweetie (if she had her way) would have me in dresses 24/7 if she could. As it stands i'm guessing i'm at the 40-50% level.

[mikiSJ]

Definitely more time en femme, and possibly a try at an accepting part of the RW.

Miki

[TheStig]

I would dress more if I wasnt married for sure. I only get the chance to dress once or twice a month now days. It would be more like every day. LOL.

[~Joanne~]

I don't think my dressing time would change all that much as I am pretty lucky and have a bunch of "me time". I almost dress daily and can't remember the last time I didn't.

Now, if I didn't have my GF, I would certainly be feeding my need to go out and about. Granted it would mostly be at night till I over came a bunch of fears but I would certainly be trying to get past the door more.

[Wildaboutheels]

Seems likely, many here would have a larger "wardrobe" but likely be poorer?

[StaceyXOXOX]

Well my wife doesnt know yet, hoping to tell her one day once i get the courage. That being said i hope she allows it and that i get to do it more often. Altho we also have 2 kids so that might be hard for now. But i would hope to maybe get the courage to out in public. And so to answer the question if i wasnt married i would definetly dress more. However i love my wife and if i had to choose between the 2 i would pick my wife. I really hope i never have to choose. But at this point i dont think she would approve, still trying to get a feel for reactions.

[minalost]

More at home AND in the RW.

[EllenJo]

I definitly would dress more often. At least a couple times a week in full girl mode and more often in just casual "guy in a skirt" mode. However I would not give up my life with my wife for the opportunity. Just love her too much.

[JenniferLynn0370]

EZ answer for me; if there were no wife and kids in the picture, I would have already made my body match the woman inside me!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, Probably it would get boring and I'd stop for a while .

[Miriam-J]

I don't think I'd dress any more than I do already. My wife is fine with it whenever and the biggest impediment is the presence of my son (it's nice when he's at school, job, or friends). But I don't think I'd be getting out at all if it wasn't for her encouragement and support - it really gives me a boost.

Miriam

[Jocelyn Quivers]

No, I would probably still be deeply ashamed of it, it was only with the support of my SO that I realised I have nothing to be guilty about and started to better understand this side of myself.

Same here, my wife is basically the person who helped me to become who I am. I dread thinking of how I would have turned out if not for her.

[Melody Phillips]

Yes. I feel that my life would have been a lot different without a wife and a child. I would be out in the world and well on my way to being more feminine. Maybe even transitioning.

[RachelDenise]

Yes, without a doubt I would dress more both at home and in the RW.

[suchacutie]

I assume that we are talking about going from married to not being married (as opposed to having a different spouse).

We were married for 34 years before Tina arrived, so there a lot of things we enjoy doing with me in male mode that aren't ever going to change. So, if I no longer had a spouse, there would be a rather large void that would have to be filled, and I would imagine that Tina would be at least a part of that investigation, leading to more time en femme, and then to heaven knows what!

[Stephanie47]

I've had the opportunity to be en femme 24/7 for seven to ten days at a time. You bet I would be totally en femme around the house unless there was a necessity to be en homme. Of course I would expand my outdoors activity. I don't think I would head of to the grocery store en femme, recognizing my inability to pass. Peace and serenity is my goal in life-no added stress. However, I would seek out friendships and meeting places for cross dressers. Now, it is a matter of realizing the implicit boundaries of a DADT marriage.

[jaanine]

EZ answer for me; if there were no wife and kids in the picture, I would have already made my body match the woman inside me!! yes me too its the only thing holding me back also i would have to wait for my dad to pass...thats sad i know! xo

[emerald]

I would. I'm hiding it altogether so far. I've started dreaming about sharing it, though...

[DeSkirt]

I would definitely dress more, but I only dress in private. I would never come close to passing in public.

[Thera Home]

A simple question. Maybe.

If you did NOT have a SO [and/or kids] living with you, do you think you would spend a lot more time en femme at home or out in the RW?

I'd probably be dead by now if not sooner. The dressing thing would not be an issue, just all the other "off the wall" things I'd be into.:doh:

Thera

[MaryAnn40c]

Yes I would dress more at home and in the real world.

[ellieg]

I would dress all of the time at home without my wife around.

[Rebecca Cross Bracer]

I would definitely dress more at home without roommates. They just wouldn't understand so it's only when I get the place to myself.

[terri_sandal]

Thats a definate yes I would be dressed most days if I was alone but alas thats not to be