Why do we choose to pervert a Gift

[Thera Home]

Hello all my Friends

As you all know I see this (fog,fever,mind game) whatever you want to call it a "gift". As with any gift we use it grow and help better understand ourselves in a way that is unimaginable. Yet when I usually google (and most other search engines) this it mostly comes up with globs of phornograffic filth. Why do some of us choose to use this "gift" and pervert it I wonder. I feel its disrespectful not only to us but to women as well. Would you marry a woman knowing she would enjoy that type of behavior?

Thera

[whowhatwhen]

Transgender people are allowed to have a sexuality, and just like many others, some like making home made porn.

[Marleena]

Hello all my Friends

As you all know I see this (fog,fever,mind game) whatever you want to call it a "gift". As with any gift we use it grow and help better understand ourselves in a way that is unimaginable. Yet when I usually google (and most other search engines) this it mostly comes up with globs of phornograffic filth. Why do some of us choose to use this "gift" and pervert it I wonder. I feel its disrespectful not only to us but to women as well. Would you marry a woman knowing she would enjoy that type of behavior?

Thera

Thera "we" don't pervert it, well maybe a few of the threads here have.lol.

Porn sites know how to use "Key words" in search engines to get more hits and make money. If you Google crossdressers
you'll get mostly porn. If you change it to crossdresser forums you'll get here quicker. Porn sites are masters at this and the more bizarre the sexual activity and pictures the more likely they'll keep your interest (human nature).

[whowhatwhen]

Actually, I tried that and you don't.
I saw nary a single penis when I googled crossdresser, and no, image search with safe search off doesn't count.

:P

[NicoleScott]

Many people think crossdressers are perverts. What is your authority to define perversion?

[Karren H]

you can return gifts.......

[Erica2Sweet]

I've felt the way I think you do at different times. The key thing I've learned, or should I say, am learning, is not to apply my value system to what others do. They aren't me, and I'm not them.

In these "modern" times, it's just easier that way.

As far as why there's so much perversion? There's a big book written a long time ago that you may find contains the answer to this question. You can locate that book in the night stand at just about any hotel room in the US. ;)

[Marleena]

Actually, I tried that and you don't.
I saw nary a single penis when I googled crossdresser, and no, image search with safe search off doesn't count.

:P

I got a hookup dating site as my first hit Maybe they're cleaning up the search engines, it used to be pathetic.

Ahhh..... using a Bing and Yahoo search I got porn. Google must be filtering search results better now. Yay!!

[whowhatwhen]

Even still, it's better to ignore the porn than get upset over.

The thing is, as long as it's consensual no one should feel ashamed of their sexuality and that includes posting it to the internet if that happens to be your thing.
Gay men, straight women, straight men, gay women, there is no limit to who has their kinks and yet no one rails against them posting pornographic material of themselves online.

For some reason a sexually active crossdresser is really offensive here, even if it's not being part of this site.
I agree with keeping this site more or less squeaky clean but to call CDs who post themselves online perverted is pretty terrible as well as throwing stones from a glass house.

[Marleena]

Oh... I see nothing wrong with it, if that's what somebody is looking for. It used to be you couldn't find a clean site or info on CDing or TG without pages of porn first.

I think Thera meant pictures of CD'ers doing the sex act.

[Jamie Ann]

The pornographic sites are easy enough to understand, even though you and I wish that they weren’t mixed in with genuine crossdressing sites in search engine listings. Some purportedly heterosexual men are sexually attracted to crossdressers. They would prefer the real thing (real crossdressers in real life), but they will settle for pornography. It was estimated that the California porn industry was a 13.4 billion dollar industry in the US in 2011. An industry that large and economically powerful is going to find ways to rank high in search engine listings. Trans-porn is part of that industry.


If I had to choose between ******* pornography sites and blasphemous anti-crossdressing sites, I would have to think long and hard about which is worse!

[JenniferUK]

Perverted nope not me, now where did I put those handcuffs he he

[Amy Fakley]

the fuzzy meaning of this word "pervert" has bothered me ever since I first heard it in grade school. I imagined that probably it applied to me, given my proclivities (even at that early age), and so I looked it up in the dictionary, and found myself still sort of confused:


pervert
verb |pərˈvərt| [ trans. ]
alter (something) from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended : he was charged with conspiring to pervert the course of justice.
• lead (someone) away from what is considered right, natural, or acceptable : Hector is a man who is simply perverted by his time.

So I mean right, natural or acceptable ... according to whom?. If you ask some people, anything involving sex that doesn't have an end state of giving birth to a child is "perverted". From there it gets really complicated, depending who you ask.

I find porn distasteful. I actually don't enjoy it, and I never really have, but I'm clearly in the minority with that view. Lots of people do, and lots of people find trans-porn fascinating, and apparently there is no shortage of trans-people who are into performing it as well.

It's a little frustrating when you're hitting the internet just trying to find out a little more about who you are, minus the porn sideshow.
I'm very thankful for this forum :-)

[kimdl93]

Thera, you make a very good point. My guess...and its only a guess... is that part of what you see on line is just the predatory nature of internet porn merchants...they take something that can be sexy to some individuals and push it to extremes. Evidently there's a market because the porn industry sexualizes everything conceivable- so long as it makes them money. I know that some percentage of CDrs are primarily motivated by a sexual association with cross dressing, but we also know that a goodly percentage of CDrs, myself included, dress to express a dimension of self.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is not the type of women we are here.
Only on the fantasy side are we like the rest, perverted?

[whowhatwhen]

I don't get it, from what I see the general attitude is that CD porn existing cheapens or reflects badly on the rest of the TG community?

I don't know about you, but I don't view all gay men as burly, leather clad men with those funny hats after browsing gay stuff for a bit.
Nor do I view an entire community for what a select few do either in their own bedrooms, or, what they post online.

No one is going to argue that this place isn't great, what bothers me is the attitude of looking with distain on those "heathens" on the outside.
Remember, even if you don't dress for sexual purposes a great deal of society would still call you a pervert.

Edit:
<----- Non sexhaver, I have no skin in this game. (lol)

[LilSissyStevie]

Somewhere in the back rooms of my mind there is the vague idea that crossdressers suffer from a weird inverted type of Madonna/Wh@re Complex. On the one hand there are the CDs that think asexuality is some kind of essential feminine characteristic and on the other hand there are the CDs who see femininity only in sexual terms. There doesn't seem to be much middle ground. Hmmmmmmmm!

[Meghan]

I don't think we choose it at all. However, I think people who search these terms for sexual reasons outweigh those of us who are either affected or overcome by being transgender or different than most.

Having been involved in the power exchange community for many years, I've noticed that many of the terms like Dominant and submissive, slave and Mistress etc also lead right to pornography even though at it's core, a real-life power-exchange relationship isn't pornographic at all.

I think those search terms speak to the "taboo-ness" of how we are viewed by society. Heck probably a majority of people think a picture of a woman holding a vibrator is "wrong" or risky etc.

I don't think it says anything about us. We didn't pay for those search terms to ride to the top of the list or create the sites behind them. We're just trying to find a comfortable existence and understand ourselves in a way most people don't get the chance (or take the time) to do...

Meghan

[GeminaRenee]

Hello all my Friends

As you all know I see this (fog,fever,mind game) whatever you want to call it a "gift". As with any gift we use it grow and help better understand ourselves in a way that is unimaginable. Yet when I usually google (and most other search engines) this it mostly comes up with globs of phornograffic filth. Why do some of us choose to use this "gift" and pervert it I wonder. I feel its disrespectful not only to us but to women as well. Would you marry a woman knowing she would enjoy that type of behavior?

Thera

Condescending, much? How exactly is porn filth? It seems to me that it's just another facet of human sexuality. Some might like it, some might not, but to call it filth is a bit excessive. For that matter, so is calling it "disrespectful." If you find it distasteful, there's no need to climb on your soapbox.

Porn is there because there's a market for it. Straight, gay, trans, racial, stuffed animal, etc... there's all kinds of stuff that floats different people's boats. People get involved in making it perhaps because they enjoy it, or more likely to make some money. I read somewhere that many trans girls get into porn in order to pay for SRS. The only aspect of porn that worries me are the stories of people who are exploited in the making of it. But surely that's not everyone. In any event, it's unlikely that we'd be any more accepted or advanced without t-porn. It's just something that's out there that some people happen to enjoy.

And in answer to your last question, I wouldn't marry a woman who wasn't able to enjoy some type of porn or another. That sounds like a terribly frigid proposition. I'm quite happy to embrace all aspects of my sexuality, including how my dressing relates to it.

[Wildaboutheels]

Perception is everything. And the world is full of ignorant and/or clueless people. Or ARE they because they might "dress" for different reasons? IS there a right or wrong reason/s for anyone, male or female to wear the "wrong" clothes???

Now more than ever, the world is all about CHOICE.

[reb.femme]

I hear what you are saying Thera, but I tend not to get too hung up on someone's sexual desires or practices. If I don't like it, I just ignore it. If the majority of sites out there are pornographic by nature, doesn't that put us in a definite minority?

Crap, that means I'm a minority weirdo! :heehee:

Basically, I'd like to think that being different from the main stream puts us in the quality marque! Well, I can always kid myself! :battingeyelashes:

Rebecca

[Stephanie47]

I've always posted, if you want your wife or truly involved significant other, to find this site or another explaining who we are and why we cross dress, do NOT let them find it by themselves. Take her to the site(s). The issue of cross dressing is toxic enough to most GG's and parents. Having them see the seedier side of cross dressing exploitation is not in my best interests.

[Amy A]

Considering pretty much every single group or demographic in society is represented by some form of porn, it seems a touch odd to get offended by CD/TG porn, especially when its a portion of the market that is completely overshadowed by 'regular' and lesbian varieties.

I'm not a fan of pornography, I prefer the nicely shot lady in undies variety of racey imagery, but thats just me. It works for a lot of people and as long as no one is getting hurt or coerced then I don't really see what the problem is.

I think aggressive search ranking climbing from porn websites is a slightly different issue as I've had some pretty graphic stuff come up from innocent searches (once did a search for 'bottle'... never again! :eek:) but then that's what safe search is for.

The one thing that does personally annoy me though is when portly old men think I might want to see a picture of them in a thong and fishnets, spreadeagled on a bed. I really don't. But then some people clearly must like that kind of thing, so who am I to judge.

[Krista1985]

I have actually thought hard on the subject and have drawn the following conclusions.

1. The internet is FILLED with porn. I haven't done the research, but I bet a significant percentage of web space is dedicated to pornographic pursuits. Here's a song about it that I found pretty funny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgNOyCnbqg

2. Also, and porn pays! It's a rough economy but 'entertainment' of all sorts has proven recession-proof in the past. I'm sure it pays a lot of people's bills. Everyone wants to turn a buck these days, and some people are willing to exploit their sexuality to do so. CD's and TG's are no different, and have carved out a niche in the larger pornography market.

[Marleena]

There are some things we have no control over. Sadly, this is one of them.

[Kate Simmons]

Not everyone is worthy of the gift my friend.:)

[ReineD]

Yet when I usually google (and most other search engines) this it mostly comes up with globs of phornograffic filth. Why do some of us choose to use this "gift" and pervert it I wonder.

1. Age. The younger men are, the more sexual they are. Maybe a chunk of men on those sites are under 30-40?

2. Marital status. Maybe a bulk of them are not in relationships?

3. Degree of gender dissonance. Maybe these men view the CDing as a fun kink, just like BDSM or internet porn?

4. People are multi-faceted. How do you know that some regular members here don't also occasionally enjoy an excursion on the wild side?

5. And last, they're men who have normal male libidos. :p Personally, I don't have a problem with it if they're single, unless they become addicted to it which will make it difficult for them to gain sexual satisfaction with the GGs they might eventually want to be with.


... also, it's the INTERNET. Indulging in fantasies in the privacy of one's own home without risk of detection or STDs, is entirely possible now. Are you surprised at the proliferation of such sites, whether they are CD related or not?

[whowhatwhen]

Let me ask this, is it any CD sexuality that's the problem or just when it involves two biological males?

I can understand that it's not something everyone wants to see but what I don't understand is throwing someone under the bus for the slight chance that GGs or society will find us more acceptable.
"No honey! I'm not like those people!"

[Marleena]

Let me ask this, is it any CD sexuality that's the problem or just when it involves two biological males?

I can understand that it's not something everyone wants to see but what I don't understand is throwing someone under the bus for the slight chance that GGs or society will find us more acceptable.
"No honey! I'm not like those people!"



I would think it's any picture that involves a CD/TG/TS with their penis out even if they're solo. Don't read too much into it.

[whowhatwhen]

You're right, I got a little too worked up over it.

Don't get me wrong, I respect that it's not everyone's thing (and I really could care less tbh) but shame is one of my pet peeves.

[TVAmanda]

What a ridiculous and judgemental notion. Just because you choose to self justify your crossdressing by calling it a gift doesn't make it so. You cannot pervert something like crossdressing because it doesn't have a purpose to begin with. When you got your crossdressing "gift" did it come with a little gift card that said this gift is to help you grow and understand yourself so please use it wisely? Which fairy princess made you the keeper of crossdressing morals and ethics?

Go ask a random GG about crossdressing. She will probably tell you that you are already perverted by crossdressing in the first place. She might even tell you that you are being disrespectful to woman by crossdressing. So from another perspective, you already are what you accuse others of being.

[Thera Home]

Many people think crossdressers are perverts. What is your authority to define perversion?

Im no one w/ authority Nicole,just a voice in the wilderness.........Hmm...sounds familiar


you can return gifts.......

The Lines..................................:eek:


Even still, it's better to ignore the porn than get upset over.

Not upset,just saddened



I think Thera meant pictures of CD'ers doing the sex act.

Pretty much............:sad:


It was estimated that the California porn industry was a 13.4 billion dollar industry in the US in 2011


Love the climate...................Hate the politics:doh:


part of what you see on line is just the predatory nature of internet porn merchants...they take something that can be sexy to some individuals and push it to extremes.

Totally agree kim


Condescending, much? How exactly is porn filth? It seems to me that it's just another facet of human sexuality. Some might like it, some might not, but to call it filth is a bit excessive. For that matter, so is calling it "disrespectful." If you find it distasteful, there's no need to climb on your soapbox.


:sb:



Now more than ever, the world is all about CHOICE.

Thats what we all want.............so we have it.....careful for what we wish for,I guess



I've always posted, if you want your wife or truly involved significant other, to find this site or another explaining who we are and why we cross dress, do NOT let them find it by themselves. Take her to the site(s). The issue of cross dressing is toxic enough to most GG's and parents. Having them see the seedier side of cross dressing exploitation is not in my best interests.

I feel for the folks that are starting out wanting to find out about this aspect of a loved one.


Considering pretty much every single group or demographic in society is represented by some form of porn, it seems a touch odd to get offended by CD/TG porn, especially when its a portion of the market that is completely overshadowed by 'regular' and lesbian varieties.


Well, maybe it's time to step out of the shadows and into the light:heehee:



... also, it's the INTERNET. Indulging in fantasies in the privacy of one's own home without risk of detection or STDs, is entirely possible now. Are you surprised at the proliferation of such sites, whether they are CD related or not?

They sure made it easy for us...............gee thanks guys


Let me ask this, is it any CD sexuality that's the problem or just when it involves two biological males?


Two guys in dresses going at it........
Why dress? Just have at it

I'd say a little degrading on the woman we're trying to admire.



Don't get me wrong, I respect that it's not everyone's thing (and I really could care less tbh) but shame is one of my pet peeves.

A man without shame...............let me just say,very vulnrable(sp?)


What a ridiculous and judgemental notion. Just because you choose to self justify your crossdressing by calling it a gift doesn't make it so. You cannot pervert something like crossdressing because it doesn't have a purpose to begin with. When you got your crossdressing "gift" did it come with a little gift card that said this gift is to help you grow and understand yourself so please use it wisely? Which fairy princess made you the keeper of crossdressing morals and ethics?

Go ask a random GG about crossdressing. She will probably tell you that you are already perverted by crossdressing in the first place. She might even tell you that you are being disrespectful to woman by crossdressing. So from another perspective, you already are what you accuse others of being.

Touched a nerve I see.

When you got your crossdressing "gift" did it come with a little gift card that said this gift is to help you grow and understand yourself so please use it wisely?

Exactly..................use it wisely

Go ask a random GG about crossdressing. She will probably tell you that you are already perverted by crossdressing in the first place. She might even tell you that you are being disrespectful to woman by crossdressing.

Thanks to the crap out there already.


The dressing part is just that, a part of this whole gift. What I find disrespectful
is the fact that they'll defiling someone I admire. A woman is a precious being to me and when a man defiles her "that really pisses me off". This forum is for me to share our ideas based on my morality and values. You do what you want in the privacy of your own bedroom. Just don't try to shove this down my throat by posting this crap for general public viewing. Do you not believe these Money mongers will not use this for building thier mountains of gold?

What about the children that have access to this?


Ah................. Feel better now.:heehee:

Thera

[darla_g]

when you consider that Porn is among the most searched for item on the internet it is not surprising that you would stumble across it very easily.

Like numerous others have stated I don't like when people want everyone else to conform to their values. My only objection to porn is when people are exploited (ie, forced into performing sex acts against their will).

[whowhatwhen]

The dressing part is just that, a part of this whole gift. What I find disrespectful
is the fact that they'll defiling someone I admire. A woman is a precious being to me and when a man defiles her "that really pisses me off". This forum is for me to share our ideas based on my morality and values. You do what you want in the privacy of your own bedroom. Just don't try to shove this down my throat by posting this crap for general public viewing. Do you not believe these Money mongers will not use this for building thier mountains of gold?

What about the children that have access to this?


Ah................. Feel better now.:heehee:

Thera

I don't like the idea of men being rough with women, but I won't force that idea on anyone - especially not on the women who enjoy that themselves. Also, I respect women enough to know that they're not delicate flowers unable to function without the protection of a man.



Two guys in dresses going at it........
Why dress? Just have at it

I'd say a little degrading on the woman we're trying to admire.


I can't speak for them, but I imagine they do it because it feels good.
Degrading? They're just having sex, which, by the way is completely harmless as long as it's consensual.

Furthermore, as posted before, some women find any crossdressing degrading.

As for shoving it down your throat, if text links in a search engine is that bothersome that you're going to attack people having (non straight, missionary, in the dark, no movement) sex then I don't know what to tell you.
The general public doesn't need to view it, someone looking to beat it will specifically look for it, find it, and enjoy it - just as the people who made it intended.

Also, IIRC children do not have access to this site and even if they do there is no porn here.

I didn't realize this was asexual-puritan-crossdressers.com, and I'm not even a fancy sexhaver like most of you.
We're not supposed to talk about humping here, but honestly what is with the whole no-true-cd-has-any-sex attitude?

I still can't help but shake the feeling it's male-male sex that's the issue here.

[ReineD]

Thera, you're just going to have to learn to ignore all those sites, like everyone else who is not into them. If you're concerned that your wife might find them and develop the wrong idea about what motivates you, then the onus is on you to explain where you're at with all of this.


As much as you'd like to wipe out an entire porn industry, you just can't. Goodness, an analogy is my personal distaste for the junk food industry and the super-sized mentality epidemic that contributes to our ever increasing, national obesity rates causing all the related medical issues. I can't change any of it, but I can certainly make appropriate nutritional choices for myself. :)

[GeminaRenee]

I still can't help but shake the feeling it's male-male sex that's the issue here.

That's possible, although it seems more likely that it's just sex in general that's the issue here. It's so icky.