Permission to date?

[Shulove]

So, a few months ago I came out to my wife. With happy results mind you, well... I've told her that basically I would like a "boy toy". She seems happy on the idea. Should I be worried?

Hillary

[STACY B]

Good lord !!!! Here We go Again ! Your just asking for it ain't ya ?

[GaleWarning]

It's never a good idea to play around with your marriage.

[danielle.cd]

thats just giving her more ammo dont do it unless you want an x wife in the future

[Cynthia Anne]

I think Tammy Wynette said it best! D I V O R C E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jamie Christopher]

I hear the faint rumble of incoming fire.... boom!

Jamie

[Shelly Preston]

This seems like a dangerous situation to be in if you want to stay married

It may be she will enjoy having the ammunition

It is also possible she knows you have to be yourself and is giving you the all the freedom you need

Sadly I dont see either of those having a happy ending

[kellycan27]

Does she get a boy toy too? And if so.. would you be okay with that?

[Jamie Christopher]

Great question Kelly....

Jamie

[STACY B]

[QU
OTE=kellycan27;2961334]Does she get a boy toy too?[/QUOTE]



Girly girl,,,,, Ya reading my mind again ,,,To answer YOUR question OHHHHHHHHHH YEA ,,,, An Ill bet he's a BIG one to ,,That will take care of her real good an I will bet HE wont wear a nighty ,,,LOL,,,, An might just take care of Ol Fancy Pants for a Bonus !!! LOL,,,,, :devil::devil::devil::devil:

[Davena Doll]

Ya does she get a boy toy too it makes all the diff. I told my wife the same stuff. We are more happyer than ever.

[Lorileah]

Good lord !!!! Here We go Again ! Your just asking for it ain't ya ?

:yt:

what is in the water tonight. Suddenly the world is full of accepting Penthouse letter wives.

I love Clay with all my heart but I have to disagree. There are some who polyamory works out well for. I am poly so it isn't a huge issue to me. Some people can separate sex from love. I know quite a few who have very strong relationships yet adventure into sexual things that most would not find "right". That said, they are the minority. And I know even in poly relationships jealousy can raise its head. Before you delve into all this yo need to have a very strong communication center. You and your SO need to be able to discuss things when they feel uncomfortable. It needs to be an equal thing. If you get into something that she feels is out of her comfort range you need to stop and work through it.

What you describe is not my cup of tea (and believe me I drink a lot of strange brews) but if it wokd for you then jave fun. Just be able to step away and discuss it with your SO as soon as any issues come up

[Tracii G]

OO leave me out of this convo no good can come from it.
I have been thru this and it has no good ending trust me.

[Lorileah]

I had an acquaintance once (ok he was my asst manager) who had a note from his wife that basically said "I hereby give permission for Russ_____ to date other women" He liked showing this note to women at bars...he never got a date

[Missy]

it is not good to give someone bullets for an empty gun to use against you latter

[Beverley Sims]

Is it a full moon tonight, or are they putting vodka in the water again.? :)
CD + Boy Toy = !@#$%^%#.
Did you mean Ken from Barbie fame?
Oh! I am sorry I jumped to conclusions.

[STACY B]

:yt:

what is in the water tonight. Suddenly the world is full of accepting Penthouse letter wives.

I love Clay with all my heart but I have to disagree. There are some who polyamory works out well for. I am poly so it isn't a huge issue to me. Some people can separate sex from love. I know quite a few who have very strong relationships yet adventure into sexual things that most would not find "right". That said, they are the minority. And I know even in poly relationships jealousy can raise its head. Before you delve into all this yo need to have a very strong communication center. You and your SO need to be able to discuss things when they feel uncomfortable. It needs to be an equal thing. If you get into something that she feels is out of her comfort range you need to stop and work through it.

What you describe is not my cup of tea (and believe me I drink a lot of strange brews) but if it wokd for you then jave fun. Just be able to step away and discuss it with your SO as soon as any issues come up




I agree ,,, An I know people who Won the Lottery to,,,, I know a guy that survived a shot in the head an I know alot of Crazy thing ,,But statistics show that is very uncommon for this to work ,,,Like staying Married an Transitioning ,,, You always here about the ones that made it ,,, Cuz that front page News ,,,LOL,,,,

[Stephanie47]

I think it is time to watch some political or prescription drug ads on television.

PS: I give you permission to date!

[heatherdress]

No. You should not be worried if she is supporting.

[ReineD]

A lot of people, men and women, are flexible in the bedroom on many levels. There certainly is a market for all the books and adult paraphernalia out there. And just so you know, there are men who are not CDers or gay who also enjoy the particular brand of bedroom play you refer to. Trust me.

So I'm suggesting that if you and your wife are primarily doing this because you're into each other (as opposed to one of you using the other as an accessory to a private fantasy), then it should be great! But, partners do tend to feel it when the love making session isn't about them.

[GaleWarning]

I love Clay with all my heart but I have to disagree.

Love you too Lori ... doesn't change my mind or the dreadful impression that to follow through on this scenario will only lead to conflict.

[sterling12]

Most children don't like to share their toys. And then, they become adults and don't like to share their spouse! If your for real, I imagine your Hubby, has a boy toy of her own, or just doesn't care. Do you have a Plan for an equitable distribution of The Community Property? I think you should!

I suspect we are getting a New Brand of Troll. One who sticks around and just asks inane questions to Mess with all The Drag Queens. Your like fourteen, right? And you have lots of pimples? I really find this OP hard to believe.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[BRANDYJ]

Yes, you should be happy. You are so giving to your wife...(gulp)... You would be giving her all the reason in the world to dump you to the curb. If ya like playing Russian roulette....have at it.

But like Joanie above, I detect a troll...

[WifeofWrenchette]

I wouldn't like my husband to date other men. I am all for his cross dressing, but that does not include others into our marriage. In my mind cross dressing and having partners outside the marriage are two different things.

[DonnaT]

Why worry, as long as she's fine with it? Y'all might even be able to double date at times.

[KarenCDFL]

Wow, dangerous stuff.

You may both want to try Swinging as a couple before going out and getting your own playthings.

Just an idea.

[whowhatwhen]

If your wife is okay with it, or she gets one too then go for it.
I don't see how this could possibly be a troll, not everyone has a traditional marriage or even wants one.

I think it's good that she's honest with her wife rather than going out and banging dudes behind her back.
Maybe they both realize that they love each other but have needs that the other cannot fulfill?

Basically, stop being so judgmental.

[heatherdress]

Someone puts up a post and asks for input- that's what they get. Everyone is judgemental to some degree. I think most of us are trying to be honest to help. The "don't be judgemental" comment seems inappropriate.

[Alice B]

Kelly has it right. If you are given an OK for a boy toy then she can do the same and may well already have one. Rein in the horses partner.

[monica.missil]

I would be sure the rest of my marriage was on firm ground first. My ex and I tried poly before the end. But because of other problems in the marriage it became a problem. It is not what cause the end, but it didn't help either.

[reb.femme]

I suspect we are getting a New Brand of Troll. One who sticks around and just asks inane questions to Mess with all The Drag Queens. Your like fourteen, right? And you have lots of pimples? I really find this OP hard to believe.

I just couldn't have put it better myself. It's equivalent to a Bart Simpson call, "Hey guys, I wanna Seymour Butts" :heehee:

Reb

[whowhatwhen]

Trolling: Asking a question?

Again, is this just because two guys are involved?
Or is it one of those "sanctity of marriage" (lol) things?

[ReineD]

Oh. I may have misread the meaning behind "boy toy" and if it means having sex with someone else, then my prior post does not apply. I took it that it referred to an implement (trying to post within the rules) that the OP and wife can use together.

At any rate, I wonder if the initial question was a genuine concern about going down that path with wife, or it was some sort of attempt to titillate.

[kristinacd55]

Take it from me sweetie.....4GET about it lol. My wife's been dating and we're on the verge of divorce....you're playing with fire.

[whowhatwhen]

At any rate, I wonder if the initial question was a genuine concern about going down that path with wife, or it was some sort of attempt to titillate.

I would rather assume that than scream out "TROLL! TROLL!", after all, how are we judging the validity of questions anyway?
There have been a few good, honest, and helpful responses though, but I can't help but wonder at the reason why there are so many lurkers vs posters...

[linda allen]

Oh. I may have misread the meaning behind "boy toy" and if it means having sex with someone else, then my prior post does not apply. I took it that it referred to an implement (trying to post within the rules) that the OP and wife can use together.

I was about to mention that possibility. It's not clear if the "boy toy" in question is human or plastic/rubber.

If it's the former, it's not something that I would consider and it's not something that I think is appropriate in a marriage.

If it's the latter, I don't see much point in asking about it, just go buy one and have at it.

[MissTee]

I wouldn't like my husband to date other men. I am all for his cross dressing, but that does not include others into our marriage. In my mind cross dressing and having partners outside the marriage are two different things.

:iagree: Couldn't have said it better.

[kimdl93]

It seems a bad idea. She may decide she'd like a boy toy too...then before you know it, the relationship is on the rocks.

[Duana]

Just an FYI: This arrangement has worked for more than 7 years for Dr. Rick Novic, author of "Alice in Genderland." You can read about it on her site: http://www.aliceingenderland.com/ManhuntOver2.html

[Stefanie jones]

If u play with fire then you get ......

[whowhatwhen]

Cooked meat
Pyrotechnics
A wicked cool scar
Flame jugglers
Fire eaters
...

[luscious]

YEA LIKE the guy in the military talking about cross dressing while in IRAQ OR AFGHANISTAN!

I SEE THAT AS A DEATH SENTENCE.

this would be death to a real marriage. the stress on a marriage of the crossdressing and the idea that you might want to date men or other crossdressers maybe even a TS/TG or women


Most children don't like to share their toys. And then, they become adults and don't like to share their spouse! If your for real, I imagine your Hubby, has a boy toy of her own, or just doesn't care. Do you have a Plan for an equitable distribution of The Community Property? I think you should!

I suspect we are getting a New Brand of Troll. One who sticks around and just asks inane questions to Mess with all The Drag Queens. Your like fourteen, right? And you have lots of pimples? I really find this OP hard to believe.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[whowhatwhen]

Maybe she's into it?
We never even heard back yet, for all we know she may like watching a dude boink her hubby.

[Karren H]

I'm sure if you can have a boy toy so can she.... maybe you could share one?

[Annette Todd]

As Bill Engvall said, if she says she would like to see other people... If she hasn't ridden him yet, she has already picked one out of the stable...

[BLUE ORCHID]

It sounds like a kinky three way in the making.

[Shulove]

Wow... Love all the positive feed back. Good stuff. Just for a quick point of reference I'm not at all a "troll". This was not to be taken as a joke or a line of B.S. my wife and I have had a very open relationship for our entire knowing of eachother. Yes, she has played with her fair share of men and women, and so have I. Yes we have both shared several of lovers in the past. Our relationship is solid and VERY happy. I know that some people can't handle the other having sex with someone else, I dig that.... But we are not you. Sorry if I touched a nerve with some, was not trying to. I'm still new to all this yet having a great time. Thought maybe I would get a third party point of view. Guess I will just listen to my wife and go for it ;)

Hillary