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Jessica86
09-20-2012, 05:02 AM
Update to a previous post.

My wife and I have been having issues for a long time. Things came to a head last Sunday, when my wife made plans for me and her to go out together (dressed). I sleep a weird schedule due to working nights. I woke up hearing my wife talking to someone. I asked her who was home, and her brother was there. I noticed there were bags and an air mattress by the door. I asked if he was spending the night (he's 21) and she says yes. I was mad because Sunday was my only day off to do something like that. We also planned it a week before. So, I let her do her thing with two more friends that came by. They stayed, partied, and I left to help my brother with his own relationship problems.

My brother, when it comes to women, finds THE worst ones. He came home to find his things on the front lawn. She locked him out. He's 31, older than I am. I'm the youngest. So, I try to talk to him, and he shuts down. Doesn't listen for nothing. So, what a day this is right now. I leave to talk to my sister (the oldest) and she is at my parents home, screaming about what is going on with my brother. I was asked if I could help, and told them I tried. My sister says "He won't leave because he does what she wants. She knows what he knows, so he's protecting someone from getting told on.". I instantly knew what this was. "So, if we find out who he is protecting, then he will leave.". So, my parents are the only family that didn't know I am a crossdresser. My brother's girlfriend was threatening to tell my family about me if he left. So, like the brother he is, he put up with crap just to save me in y parents eyes.

I smack the table and say "Alright. He's protecting me. That's what it is. He doesn't want me to be hurt. So, yall will find out this weekend when he gets his things from the house. I'm a crossdresser. Have been since I was five. I've even tried counseling people around the area in this. I can't control it, I'm pretty good (ha! Pretty....) At it. I'm sorry if you are all disappointed. Your son is a crossdressing cop!" My dad looks at me first, and has tears in his eyes. I have....NEVER seen my dad cry since my mom left him for a week when I was like 6. He looked at me, while my mom was looking at him. He tells me "Why did you hide it for so long? You still do it?" "Yes." He comes over to me, and sits next to me. "Breaks my heart you feel like you couldn't trust me." He says. "Wasn't that. I remember the day I graduated, you were proud. The day I held both my baby boys, and handed them to you, you were proud. The day you saw my badge get pinned on me, I mean. I didn't want to ruin that.". "I am proud of you! You've always been the brave one of our kids, and this is no different. Takes a lot of balls to do what you did. I support you with it. I think it's great you are supporting others like you as well." My mom says she wasn't surprised because she found women's clothing in my room while growing up. She said she approved too. So, that turned out good. We really didn't have much time to talk, as it was 11pm, and my dad needed to sleep for an early work day.

Left there, and approached my wife. We talked of seperation due to the day long argument of her cancelling our plans to have fun for herself. I finally threw all of my feelings on the table. She's a wonderful woman, and I know I'm lucky to have a supportive wife. Thing is, no person is worth being miserable. She did admit she was wrong, and cried for about an hour due to her realizing how close we were to seperating. She tells me "I don't know why you're still here. I've treated you like **** these past few weeks!" Told her I did because I love her and don't want to seperate. She says she does approve of Jessica still, and cried happily when I told her about my parents. That was our biggest fear because my dad used to be so strict. So, things are looking up and have stayed that way since Monday. I have tomorrow night off. She said she isn't answering her phone, and Jessica will come around for sure! She even said I just need to go to a bar or something at night (I'm awake at night) while she is sleeping. I'm not going to a bar (duh) but I might go out later as well. We'll see how things go. Everyone she knows works week jobs, so I doubt this one can get cancelled. She even has a baby sitter, and it's my sister. So, let's hope! I'm ready for a night. It's been ridiculous lately.

Sharon B.
09-20-2012, 05:10 AM
I'm glad everything work out for you.

Helen Grandeis
09-20-2012, 05:21 AM
What a good final outcome. Especially with your wife still loving you. Good luck for your bright future.

KatieTaylor
09-20-2012, 05:35 AM
Thats good to hear that you had such a positive out come and that things are still good with your wife.

Diversity
09-20-2012, 06:09 AM
It sounds like everything is working out fine for you, your wife, and your family. I am very glad for you all. I wish you all the best for the future.
Di

kimdl93
09-20-2012, 08:34 AM
whoa, that whole episode took my breath away. I have to say, Jessica, you handled everything incredibly well under what was intense pressure. Might be your law enforcement training showing through. I know from my friends in that profession - you have to be able to keep your head when others lose theirs....

You did well. Jessica, you did well. Your father has every reason to be proud of you.

Erica2Sweet
09-20-2012, 11:36 AM
...She tells me "I don't know why you're still here. I've treated you like **** these past few weeks!"...

If I were in your situation I'd want to know why she feels she has been treating you badly. Because ignoring it, or worse yet, enabling it, could become exhausting for you and destructive to your relationship. When people do this to others they care for, there's a reason.

It warms my heart to have read about your discussion with your father. It makes me think of mine who passed away in 2006 not knowing about the "Erica" side of me.

Maria in heels
09-20-2012, 12:41 PM
Jessica...its all good news. In fact, great news! I hope that you get to enjoy yourself tomorrow night. And remember, not only do you need a hug, she does too! so go hug her later today when you get home from work and say thank you. I'm sure that it will go a long way with her

ps...and call your dad-tell him how happy you really are its the father son 10 second phone call

Franki Kate
09-20-2012, 12:49 PM
Thank you for sharing such an emotional series of events. Opens many eyes and ears, I am sure.

Lorileah
09-20-2012, 12:51 PM
Dammit Jessica...you made me cry

heatherdress
09-20-2012, 01:31 PM
Terrific. Thanks Jessica. Keep working things with you wife and dad.

~Joanne~
09-20-2012, 01:52 PM
Sounds like you have had one hell of a last few weeks. The best thing to come of it is now your brother can move on with his life with no fear of you being discovered because you took care of that yourself which may be for the best in the end :) I hope you enjoy your day/night out:)

reb.femme
09-20-2012, 02:09 PM
Hi Jessica,

Nice that your dad was accepting and still proud of you. Mine was a miserable and unfeeling lump of something, but I'll avoid the real names.
You have lots going on at the moment, so just be sure you care about you as well as everyone else.

Reb

Cynthia Anne
09-20-2012, 03:42 PM
WOW girl! I love a good story with a happy ending! Thank you!!!!!

STACY B
09-20-2012, 03:58 PM
Lordy that brought me to tears ,,, Thats great an hope you get it all working in your favor ,,,

Lady Slipper
09-20-2012, 06:23 PM
I am glad things are going better for you Jessica. It's wonderful your family was so accepting. :) It's nice to read a heartwarming thread, some of the threads lately have been bumming me out. :( By the way, thanks for serving on the thin blue line.

Anna B
09-20-2012, 06:34 PM
Hi Jessica. Thanks for sharing your story with us. What a great outcome with your parents. I'm really pleased they're so accepting!

And also...another thanks for serving on the thin blue line!

Bree Wagner
09-20-2012, 06:35 PM
Wow Jessica, it's obvious you are a great brother, son, and husband. What you did was impressive and very courageous and I'm so glad it turned out so well with your parents.

I really hope you get that night of yours and that things continue to improve at home. It sure seems like you;re doing everything you can to make it so.

All the best,
Bree

Leah Lynn
09-20-2012, 06:37 PM
What a great outcome! I hope your brother realizes what you did for him, and things smooth out with the wife. A little love and tenderness.

stockinged nemo
09-20-2012, 06:59 PM
Thank you for sharing! You give hope to those of us who need it, such as myself. I wish I could let others know. Right now I can't imagine telling my Mom and Dad, but maybe someday. My parents were also strict overall and are very conservative, but have surprised me in the past, and they are kind and loving people so there is hope. My wife is not currently accepting at all and just wishes this side of me would go away. I can't even really get her to learn much about it yet. But hearing positive stories such as yours keeps me going.

Ashley D.
09-20-2012, 07:30 PM
I'm glad things are looking up for you.
It is so great that you would take that leap for your brother.
You are truly a caring person.

Amy Fakley
09-20-2012, 08:19 PM
that is an astounding story.
what is this ... there's ... something caught in my eye ...

PretzelGirl
09-20-2012, 09:48 PM
You can never underestimate family. If you give to them, you will most often get back what you gave. It is a very heartwarming story Jessica. I hope things with your wife continue on the upswing.

Beverley Sims
09-20-2012, 09:53 PM
What is good here, is once one person accepts it others known to that person quite often follow suit.
I hope it is a good outcome for you.

Barbara Ella
09-20-2012, 09:59 PM
Congratulations, a wonderful story. Often it takes getting to a breaking point to force a confrontation where you get your feelings out on the table, and often find out that the worst thing you were thinking was happening was not even close to the other person's mind. I am so happy for you.

Next time you have an off night, make it a night out for your wife

Barbara

Jessica86
09-20-2012, 10:53 PM
Thank you all! It really has been a great week (so far). I gotta work this weekend....ehhh....but next weekend I'm off. Completely. I really am thankful for those who have taken the time to read the whole story and help me the whole way. I know this was a long one....mine usually are....but it was definately worth the time to type it all. I just want people to know that you never know what people may think. Now, if I can just work out my brother's issues....another time...another day.

Tracii G
10-22-2012, 07:21 PM
I'm so glad it all worked out so now the hard part is over.

TxKimberly
10-22-2012, 07:37 PM
Well there is a slightly mixed message! I wanted to hug you when you told of how you told your folks - we ALL know that THAT takes balls! LOL

Well done with the folks, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and your wife!

Shadeauxmarie
10-22-2012, 07:46 PM
I hate it when my contacts act up. Makes the rest of the replies difficult to read.

Kelly Smith
11-29-2012, 07:05 AM
Jessica, Adversity reveals character so you got some good reads on your family. Your parents are particularly impressive. Your dad is quite a guy. But you know all this.